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Reviews
Open Water (2003)
just when you thought it was safe to go back into the theater...
...you bought a ticket for this movie and were disappointed. i know i was.
But really, shouldn't everyone have already known that this was going to be boring. It's trying to have the tension of Blair Witch but just doesn't cut it. Blair Witch got away with using digital video and crude film making techniques because it was supposed to be "found footage" from a student documentary project. With Open Water, it's hard to suspend your disbelief. You are constantly aware of the fact that somebody has to be filming all of this. But even if they had a 3rd character who would have been filming it all, there's not enough character development or scenery to keep you awake.
Super Size Me (2004)
I'd rather eat that diet than see this movie again.
To sum it up in one word... Boring. This film just wasn't very insightful, informative, disturbing, or even funny. It just seemed like the Blair Witch of documentaries... a great idea and a lot of hype, but irresponsible in the promise. Maybe it's because anyone who sees it, goes in there knowing the premise... and also knowing that nobody eats like that. And anyone who goes to see it knows that the guy's gonna pickle his liver and be asked to stop by his doctors. Why doesn't he stop? Cause he's about to cash in. He knows that a lot of people are going to watch this movie. Most of them already know that fast food is bad. Or they're obese and they think this movie is going to be some kind of inspiration. Heck, there were at least 15 fatsos in the theater with me that had large popcorn with butter. And aside from the high price they're paying at the concession stand, they're paying to see his movie. I wonder how many of them bolted for the arches as soon as the movie let out. I know i wanted to. This guy was probably secretly funded by Mc-ee-Deees just so that people would crave the food afterwards.
I mean the dude just wasn't as funny as he wanted to be, wasn't as good a documentarian as he wanted to be, but i guess it doesn't matter cause he's about to be as rich as he'd always dreamed.
Funny Ha Ha (2002)
Maybe I'M too simple
I got dragged to see this movie by a friend who knows the director and several of the people in the movie. I guess I didn't have high expectations for it, but it came through nicely. I still don't understand what the title has to do with the movie, I didn't find it really funny, just sweet. I agree that it's a movie not about plot or even characters, but about moments. I kept thinking, "how many times have I been in one of these situations, talking about a relationship or my feelings with someone... how many times have i been on either side of this conversation. I've been this person, and I've been that person too." it was interesting. I really liked it. like I said, it wasn't that funny but it didn't try to be. It was nice to just watch it and soak up the simplicity and not watch some movie that tried to do all of your thinking for you.
Donnie Darko (2001)
great sedative
borrrrrrrrrrr-rrrrrrrrrring. i thought hollywood squares would be the end of patrick swayze... NOPE! i think this movie is sadly going to be his undoing. it's movies like this that are going to ruin a career built on ghost and point break... bring back dalton! oh yeah, and don't bother with this movie, it's overrated.
Existo (1999)
destined to be a cult classic!
it's been a long time since rocky horror. the kids of today are ready for existo. this movie took me by so much surprise. musical masterpieces throughout. and a special final appearance for the late jim varney. i wish i could take this movie intravenously... know whutta mean?!!
7th Heaven (1996)
i want to be a Camden
ok maybe i don't, but i sometimes feel like a member of this family. this show is really cool... i know it's not as realistic as "real" families and can tend to get a bit corny at times. but hey it's a show, we watch it to be entertained. if we wanted to see real people, we'd all of a sudden be having shows "about 7 strangers picked to live in a house and have their lives taped" or cameras following a bunch of people in the australian outback or something...good thing we don't have horrible shows like that, by the way. anyway, i say all of this as a 23 year old male, and one would assume that i am supposed to think this is not tough or not cool or something. well i love the show and i force my roommate to tape the reruns for me every day.