weymo Reviews

Near Death (2004)

omygod

[1/10 · 9 July 2004]

I can't remember the last time I hated a movie 50 seconds in. This appears to be footage that was shot for a backdrop to a video game which must have never been developed so the owner's decided to release it as a film. I don't know if comparing it to a student film disses the film enough. It's pacing is softcore porn without the interesting dialogue...or porn. The only thing diabolical about this film is that it was ever swept up off the video editing suite's hard drive to see the light of day. Horrible...and not in a good way.

The Butterfly Effect (2004)

Masterpiece...

[10/10 · 9 July 2004]

I've just finished the director's cut and I really enjoyed this very well thought-out plot. As a big fan of sci fi I found myself pleased with the treatment of all of the subject matter. Ashton made the main character believable and keeps you guessing as his mental state changes. It's hard to know what is real and what is real to him. I highly recommend this film for fans of mysteries, time travel, mental health dramas, etc. One word of warning though, if you have issues with children in dire situations, brace yourself. Fantastic.

Body Double (1984)

What was that?

[5/10 · 23 August 2003]

I re-watched this because it had been over a decade since I had seen it. I was surprised at how dated and campy this movie has become. It's like a sloppy 70's leftover that you really just want to avoid. However, it's hard to see how this movie could not have boosted Melanie Griffiths' career as she demonstrates her finesse as a porn star. The story is choppy and strange but features a great nugget by Holly Johnson & Frankie Goes To Hollywood. The movie is a puzzler and it makes you wonder what sort of drugs the director (dePalma) and the crew were up to. Give me some of that... Favorite aesthetic moment...the tiered beach house with a view of New York's twin towers...nice place, but what's with all those changing tents on the beach? And who is the bad guy anyway?

The Accidental Tourist (1988)

Sunday Afternoon Sleeper

[8/10 · 15 August 2003]

If you are looking for a movie where you'll feel "at least my life isn't THAT bad" then this is the movie for you. Don't get me wrong; I really like this movie...I have since I first saw it in the 80's. But this is a story that draws you into a world of people with deep quirks and hangups. There is a lot to like about the sleepy pace of this movie if you are looking for a wintry, November kind of movie, next to a fire, on a Sunday afternoon. It's the type of thing that you let lull you to sleep or reflect deeply on what's important in life. "The Accidental Tourist" really is dated now; Geena Davis' Madonna-wear makes you wonder if anyone could take her seriously...but at the time this was made, her style was all the rage. In some ways the characters are extreme caricatures, or are they? People are generally weird, we just don't get to see it much. This movie gets under your skin and makes you prioritize. It makes you not want to die lonely and alone...but if you are, before the fire in a nice big Victorian during a light snowfall.

The Scorpion King (2002)

(yawn)

[4/10 · 5 July 2003]

I guess this movie was really intended for fans of Dwayne Johnson aka "The Rock" and not for fans of "The Mummy" and "The Mummy Returns." It is difficult to understand how this 3rd film fits into the Mummy franchise as there is absolutely no tie-in to the prior two films...even to the small part (bad morph) that the Scorpion King gets in film two. This film is like the 3rd Halloween film: Season of the Witch. It has nothing to do with anything that involved the first 2 movies or any that followed. In short, you could replace Dwayne with Arnold and have a Conan movie.

Catch Me If You Can (2002)

run the gauntlet if you dare!

[1/10 · 5 July 2003]

If you can make it through this Chinese water torture you can get POW status! This is the slowest movie I think I have ever seen. (My wife claims that only "True Stories" by the Talking Heads makes a better sleeping pill.) It is a good example of how a lot of talented people can get together and in a self-important moment design a mundane period piece that only artsy types would like. Except this trifle is not even artful. Part of the problem is the movie claims to be a "secret agent man"-type thriller...but where you expect a Beatles concert you get "That Thing You Do." Tripe.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)

surprising!

[9/10 · 5 July 2003]

After thoroughly hating "Two Weeks Notice" based almost entirely upon the scatalogical "go ahead...take a crap in the Beemer" scene, I was fully expecting to hate another silly chick flick. However, my wife and I found this the positive example of quintessential romantic comedy. The plot is simple and the juxtaposition maybe even a little weary, but the actors bring a great deal to their respective parts. We both found ourselves laughing out loud over and over again...something that has become quite rare lately with movie rentals. My only complaint is that this movie could easily have been called "Sex In The City: The Movie" and you can easily hang names on the primary characters. Kate Hudson does a great Bebe Neuwirth in the lead role and Bebe Neuwirth interjects fun. The DVD offers deleted scenes which only underscore the similarity between the story and "Sex In The City."

The Munsters' Revenge (1981 TV Movie)

Yawn...pass the crackers; there's plenty of cheese here

[2/10 · 21 June 2003]

96 minutes of this is cruel..and I love the old Munster's. Yes, the plot is thing; yes the lines are trite; but whoever was at the helm of this was not a fan. There is so much 'intrigue' (and I use that word with great pause) that I wonder if it's an old Starsky & Hutch episode. I lost count of the number of times I noticed that makeup had missed a spot near the collar. Refusing to acknowledge that any time had passed since the mid-60's (ludicrous) the producers simply replace Marilyn & Eddie with younger actors. Why not let them grow and age? The addition of an Addam's Family style reunion does not add to the flavor of the Halloween Party.

Grandpa & Herman fly to Transylvania and back in a few hours (preposterous.) Sid Ceaser is the most, yes the most unbelievable character (I am including the bad robots) since he babbles an unwild combination of gibberish & yiddish but claims to be an ancient Arabic ruler. And yes, it looks like the laugh track is missing. In fact, there are several spots where there is dead air, as if the laugh track was to be inserted later. The actors seem to wait on the faux audience. It's not laughable; it's sad. Oh, and the best part! Yvonne DeCarlo has a line that just goes to show you how out of touch the writers and producers were. Marilyn says something like: "Where could Uncle Herman and Grandpa be? They could have been in an accident. They could have been hit by a car...or a train!" Lily says responds with something like: "You're Uncle Herman will be here if he has to drag himself off the train track." What's amazing about this is: Yvonne DeCarlo's husband was a stuntman in the early 60's and lost a leg and was nearly killed in a train stunt. He never recovered and this financially devastated her family. (check out Biography's fantastic review of her life and career) This line could have been easily changed to be more sensitive to her.

If you are a real fan of the Munster's then you'll have to RENT this mess. It illustrates how some things are better left alone. Even with the (nearly) original cast, this is almost as bad as the attempted remake of the show a few years ago.

American Playhouse: Into the Woods (1991) Season 10, Episode 1

not necessarily appropriate for children...

[9/10 · 17 June 2003]

My wife and I have enjoyed the soundtrack and associated book form of this musical for years. Alas, we were never able to enjoy it on broadway. We knew there was a bit of innuendo involved but that it was fairly out of the range of our 8 year old daughter. However, when we rented the DVD of this live performance, my eyebrows were raised quite quickly when Red Riding Hood comes upon the Wolf. The Wolf is, how should I say, amazingly anatomically correct for a man, let alone a wolf. The tone of the whole play really isn't for kids but the rest of it seems okay. My daughter enjoyed the music and made comments about the crude special effects. But the parents understand that the effects are just for effect and that the real power of this musical is in the story. It tugs just a little harder than one would expect at the heartstrings. I was amazed at the number of real tears shed by the cast...and that emotion is just a real today as a decaded ago. Oh. And Bernadette...best witch ever.

40 Days and 40 Nights (2002)

raunchy sex romp ends poorly

[31 May 2003]

This movie is pretty good. The acting is good the plot is interesting and fairly believable. I'm surprised that it managed to get an 'R' rating as there are quite a few things that push the envelope toward an 'X' rating. Josh Hartnett is wonderful as is the entire supporting cast. The sense of anticipation and heightened sexual tension/frustration is communicated extremely well while Matt (Josh Hartnett) embarks on his 40-day celibacy during Lent. However. In a movie that is intended to be a dot-com, light-hearted romp I was surprised to see a casual treatment of male rape. There is no question that in one scene a man is incapacitated and forced to have sex against his will. I found this extremely disturbing and it turned the entire movie around making it extremely unpalatable rather than risque. I would invite you to see this movie and decide for yourself. But strap on a seat belt...the content is extremely sexual.

The Others (2001)

Brilliant & Masterful...

[10/10 · 18 May 2002]

Blair Witch Project was a Scooby Doo cartoon mystery compared to the suspense and horror that this film evokes. Despite its PG-13 rating, I would hesitate to allow anyone under 16 to see this film. It's very unsettling. But don't get me wrong, this is a fantastic film. Kidman and the cast demonstrate that it doesn't take gore and chainsaws to create a true horror movie. This film is intelligent and skillfully filmed. Every nuance; every scene is perfectly crafted to recreate a mystery. There is no red herring, yet the complex story keeps you guessing. I'll have to see the movie again to appreciate how much the storyteller does give away and how obvious the mystery's solution seems in retrospect. The foggy mists and gray colors and dark corners will haunt you...but you'll savor every minute of it. I love horror movies...but this is a movie I'm glad I waited to see at home. I was glad to be able to put my back against a wall.

Reindeer Games (2000)

For AFTER you've viewed this film...

[7/10 · 28 April 2002]

Mail does not run on Christmas day. I want the route that runs near the Tomahawk and I only want to be a postman ONE day. It's a good film. I give it 7 out of 10. I didn't find myself riveted to the tube though and got up to make a sandwich without missing a bunch. The story is clever enough and there are a few good surprises; but I'd rather watch a good episode of CSI instead.

Saving Silverman (2001)

Utter waste...

[20 April 2002]

Normally I would expound upon my reasoning for liking or disliking a movie. However, in this rare exception...I do not feel this movie is worthy of explaining. All bodily functions are exploited. Could easily be reworked as a 2 minute SNL skit. Stupid utter waste of time.

The Animal (2001)

you gotta be kiddin' me...

[1/10 · 16 December 2001]

I was expecting a movie similar to Deuce Bigalow, which I enjoyed. However, this dud seemed to last forever. It's one of those flicks which enjoys the sad placement of PG-13 while not being kid appropriate. The jokes aren't just low-brow or f**t jokes, they're crude, lewd, and many acts cross the boundaries to not only bad taste but beyond legal and moral decency. Many scenes appear to have been chopped to get the PG-13 rating...too bad...it might have made a bigger splash as an R-rated film if the funny was left in. (Overstatement? Probably.) I do not recommend this movie. It is a full-on waste of time...and I'm a movie lover and ready to give just about anything a shot. At 45 minutes in, the movie felt like it should be winding down...and boy were we ready for it to. The ending is quaint but doesn't salvage the rest of this quagmire/tourist trap of a rental. 1/2 star (glad I saw it as a freebie...would have been sickened to pay hard-earned greenbacks for this tripe)

Space Cowboys (2000)

yee-ha!

[8/10 · 16 December 2001]

I tried this movie on with a little trepidation. But I was happy to discover a fun, tongue-in-cheek gem that is sure to please. It's got action, comedy, romance and a stellar cast. The name of the movie is a little lacking. When you put James Garner, Tommy Lee Jones, Clint Eastwood, and Donald Sutherland as the headliners its gotta be good. The plot is a bit thin, stretching the belief to the limit, but the story is really more about the interaction of aging aviators, victory over past wrongs, and old-fashioned moxie. If you're looking for a nice bit of patriotic escapism, this is a good place to kick off your boots. 8 out of 10 stars (rent it)

The Wedding Planner (2001)

Awwwww....

[8/10 · 18 September 2001]

Okay. I finally agreed to watch this movie with my wife since there was absolutely nothing else on. I typically like J.Lo and Matthew, but the previews made me think of a cotton candy cringefest combination of "My Best Friend's Wedding" and "The Wedding Singer." However. Other than the weird color on Matthew's hair and the full-on unbelievability that J.Lo is an Italian, the movie's actually pretty good. This is NOT a guy movie...but it has all the trappings of a date movie.

The Red Violin (1998)

a visceral pleasure

[10/10 · 18 September 2001]

This is a movie lover's movie. The perfect characters, sensual landscapes, delicious textures, and altogether mysterious plot. Although the riddle is not difficult to solve...in fact you may very quickly...the joy is in the getting there. The story weaves about in time and space, forming a fabric so fine that in the end you have lived a lifetime in the arms of the Red Violin. This is the perfect movie for a rainy autumn Sunday afternoon when everything is quiet but the popping of the fire and the creaking of your favorite easy chair.

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999)

Raunchy fun...

[8/10 · 17 September 2001]

This is one of those movies that you don't dare recommend, because you'd be too embarrassed to endorse it. But it's a fun guilty pleasure movie. Yes, the plot is quaint and outrageous, but it's the very improbability of the story that makes it so funny. Peppered with famous faces and send-ups of sexual hang-ups, this movie keeps you going with Rob's antics and juxtapositions as he learns the in's and out's (pardon the pun) of becoming a he-whore. Perfect for the semi-conscious consumer who wants a bit of escapism. Oh yeah, my wife squealed with delight at the sight of Oded Fehr's naked butt in a strip search. She's been infatuated with him since "The Mummy."

Monkeybone (2001)

Not worth the money (and I saw it for free)

[1/10 · 17 September 2001]

An unfortunate blend of "Nightmare Before Christmas" and "Cool World," this film seems to have been invented from the cutting room floor. The plot is ill-conceived and fully un-funny. Brendan Fraser (and I like him typically) is hopelessly miscast and direction-free. Poor beautiful Bridget Fonda will hope this movie is quietly forgotten. And Whoopi should know better by now. There is no redeeming performance in this movie. It is an utter waste of celluloid not fit for kid or adult. I don't know who the target audience was supposed to be. It isn't tame enough for children's fare, mod enough for teen fare, or clever enough for adults. Skip it.

Dracula 2000 (2000)

a pleasant surprise...

[26 August 2001]

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm a Jeri Ryan nut and decided to check out this Wes Craven thriller simply on the hopes of seeing more of that beautiful form. However. Jeri plays quite a small role in the film and turns out to be not the most interesting aspect of this tale. As most incarnations of the Dracula tale go, this one is a bit different...and THAT is the surprise. Yes, it does run a dangerously close line to that of Anne Rice's modern day vampires...enamoured with rock and roll, feeding on the frenzy of New Orleans' thrill-seekers. But its plotline is pretty sweet. It's a new phase for the Dracula saga placed in modern-day, long after Van Helsing has defeated Nosferatu. But Simon (Jonny Lee Miller from Hackers "Crash Override" fame), a hot-looking antique-dealing ass-kicker with the aging Van Helsing (played superbly by Christopher Plummer) seek out the Dark One after he is freed by unwitting theives. The story takes an interest turn in the origins of Dracula and why he haunts us still. Try to avoid the spoilers and see this one when you want to try something different from "Big Momma's House" and "Battlefield Earth." You might just like it...a lot.

Loser (2000)

It's a winner...

[26 August 2001]

Thought the romantic comedy was dead? Think again. The perfect date-night flick, this angst dramedy is just the thing to remind your girl that the sensitive type is what they really want! Amy Heckerling (Fast Time At Ridgemont High fame) paints a quaint and tepid picture of modern dorm life. I found myself asking the question, "Does everyone feel like the outsider...cuz this all seems too familiar?" Sappy and fun, this movie is a guilty little pleasure. Mina is sweet but seems appropriately out of her element as a strip-club waitress and simultaneous mistress of (gulp) evil Greg Kinnear. Woofy and humorous. Give it a go.

The Family Man (2000)

every time a bell rings...

[1/10 · 11 August 2001]

an angel gets her wings. Don't confuse this AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL movie for City of Angels. Okay, I know its easy to do. Nick Cage and a doe-eyed blonde do the mating dance around a maypole. Both movies seem to last two or three lifetimes. Both movies resolve poorly. As a thirty-something father of two, I saw way too much of myself in the father character. At some point you realize, as Nick Cage's character does, that your life is set and your choices are made. There is a certain feeling of being trapped in commitments that you can never fully meet and Despair becomes your life. Or. You realize that every thing worth having in this life is work and resolve and commitment and being a grown-up and taking responsibility for your actions. And being happy with what you've got. Point is. As a thirty-something man, I'm looking for escape from life in a movie; not emotional yoga for the one I have. MEN: Run away from this movie. Rent "Demolition Man" instead. WOMEN: Watch this sap with your best girlfriend when your guy is out of town. (And please don't try to confront your man about these issues. Let him be. Or it won't be pretty.)

Demolition Man (1993)

see you at the Bell

[8/10 · 11 August 2001]

Great movie. This is the type of movie that gets more fun to watch as time goes on, like "The Time Machine" that was released back in the fifties. It lets you get an idea of "what did they think the future would be like" and see how close they are. One funny note is how close one thing is. The Taco Bell. No, Taco Bell has NOT become the only fast food franchise, as the movie foretells, nor is it the center of haute cuisine culture. But the blue-purple and hot pink bell of today is certainly present in the movie in an era when the company still used Mexican green, yellow, and red. Life imitating art?

It's the sort of thing you wouldn't notice unless you'd seen the movie when it was released (like I did) and then see it later. [This same sort of thing shows up in Schwarzenegger's Total Recall...remember the girl putting EIGHT quarters in the Coke machine...remember how LUDICROUS that seemed when the movie came out?] Something that made me laugh over and over was the machines which ticket people for bad language by sounding an alarm and printing a ticket. Needless to say, there are lots of sequences of bad language and they nearly wear the joke out. Great movie even the second time around. Very predictable must-see sci-fi fun.

Silver Bullet (1985)

blast from the past...

[8/10 · 11 August 2001]

Rented this movie for a rollicking old time. I remembered wondering "Why was that movie rated R?" the first time I saw it (which was when I was a teen.) Well. It still gets its 'R' rating with copious amounts of extruded splatter, but it is still the sweet little gem I'd remembered. Sure, the effects were a little rough, but there aren't that many. There is a lot of "stupid stuff" going on, classic hook of the 80's horror films where you've heard moviegoers yelling at the screen "don't open that door, don't open that door.......I told her not to open that door." But ultimately Corey Haim et al make for a good film. Even Gary Busey makes a pretty good show as the lovable raucous uncle. For true horror fans, this one is filed under "Splatterfest-light." The perfect film for scaring your date right in to your lap.

Salem's Lot (1979)

No too far too...

[7/10 · 11 August 2001]

I just saw this 1979 train wreck for the first time. For King fans like myself, it's a grin-a-minute. But there is a lot I don't understand about the movie. The video I rented is from a great old place that keeps around a lot of old titles (that's right not Blockbuster or Hollywood Video.) I did NOT know that the movie was originally a mini-series. That might have affected the way I approached the viewing of it. There are obvious edits and pauses for inevitable ad insertions. There are several red herring storylines that ultimately add nothing. There is a major unresolved storyline at the conclusion...and I'm not talking about the type of ending where you wonder if the murderer is really dead or not, I'm talking about a major plotline. Anywho. It's a definite must-see for die-hard King fans or horror history buffs. Some scenes are fantastic. Some of the effects actually made me laugh out loud. But all-in-all, in all its seriousness, the viewer ultimately really can't take it seriously. The neatest aspect of this film to me was the striking similarity of the shopkeeper character to that of the owner of Needful Things.