Anus Individual 7 Reviews

Saturday Night Live: The Best of Will Ferrell (2002 TV Special)

Ferrell is great, but this is NOT his best stuff.

[6 May 2004]

There is no doubt in my mind that Will Ferrell is a great comedian, and was perhaps the only good thing SNL had going for it for a while, but the sketches chosen to assemble on this collection are far from the best things Ferrell has done on SNL. Where's the bad doctor? Where's Bill Brasky? Where's Mr. Turkanian abusing on his employees while Peirce Bronson looks on in horror? Where's the Bush sketches that are actually FUNNY? There were tons of them, why pick that one mediocre one??

Did Ferrell actually get to choose what went on this collection? I'm sorry to think that future generations will think that this is the best that he came up with while he was on SNL.

Vagrant Story (2000 Video Game)

Are you @*%#'ing kidding me? This failed for a good reason...

[24 June 2003]

This game failed commercially, much to the surprise of many RPG gamers out there who praised it heavily for it's aesthetic values. Excuse me, but this game failed simply because it wasn't fun to play.

Yes, the graphics were very good. Yes, the cinema scenes were awesome and extremely well done (The opening sequence in particular.) Yes, the character animations were extremely fluid and well done. And the music is amongst the best I've ever heard in a video game.

But the game ultimatley suffers from "Metal Gear Syndrome", wherein the process of watching the game was for focused on by producers than actual gameplay.

Okay, actually, that may not be a fair statement. Upon hearing the gameplay features, it sounds pretty spiffy: You run around in real-time throughout dungeons and so on, solve puzzles, but mostly battle enemies. When you fight an enemy, you activate a range-grid which details what enemies are in range of your weapon, and target specific body parts. In addition, you can perform timed moves which add to your repertoire, both defensively and offensively. And of course, there's magic spells, and customizable weapons. Sounds great on paper, right?

Oh, noooooo. While the programmers were adding all these bells and whistles, they forgot to make it actually FUN. Rather, the combat which engrosses 90% of actual gameplay is slow, tedious, and one of the most acute pains in the ass I've ever had. Basically, it's real-time button mashing without the fun and satisfaction of fast action and smashing s*** up, and menu combat with the annoying factor of having to button mash to make sure you get a move in before the enemy does. Oh, and also there's the plague of unnecissarily slow spell and item sequences that you just sit around for for about seven seconds each. And on top of it, the game makes you switch weapons and armor every damn time you encounter a new kind of enemy.

It's also ironic that a game which such great cinema scenes has such a bad camera system during gameplay. It's hard to see everything around you, and the first part of the game is too damn dark to see half the things you need to. Great way to start off.

So, use caution when approaching this game: love it for the cinema and music, hate for the crap gameplay, and question the fashion sense of hero Ashley and villain Sydney, who both dress like male prostitutes. In the end, I'm not going to suffer through crap gameplay just to see the next pretty cinema sequence.

The Animatrix (2003)

Doesn't do anything for the Matrix series.

[5 June 2003]

What was the point of releasing this? Each film on this thing is a side-story to the main Matrix series, but only two of them are of any interest. "Beyond" and "World Record."

Why did the people behind the Matrix series bother with this at all? The W. bros supposedly wanted to push anime and make it more popular, but anime is plenty popular as it is. Chances are, any geek who obsesses over the Matrix series enough to want to see this is also geek enought to be familiar with anime.

So why is "The Animatrix" pointless? Well, besides the stupid title, it's mostly gratuitus things, either action (i.e. the opening sequence of "Osiris", where a blindfolded man and woman strip each other with katanas and we get clear and lengthly shots of their asses.) or ideas and thoughts that have already been explored in the movie series are once again explored with the same results. (i.e. The whole "Ignorance is bliss, so I'll just stay in the Matrix and forget about it all." shtick)

As I said, "World Record" and "Beyond" present some new ideas and interesting on the whole Matrix concept, but is it worth wadding through the other films for these? If you love the Matrix series enough, sure, go ahead. Otherwise, I recommend finding some other way to feed your curiosity.

Power Rangers Ninja Storm (2003–2004)

Good God, I need a girlfriend.

[27 February 2003]

Well, let's see here...I'm now 19 years old, and have been watching PR since I was about 9 or 8. I sould probably stop, considering that that can't be healthy for a near-adult, and Ninja-Storm might just encourage me to do so.

The reason I've been able to stand Power Rangers over the years is because it grew up and evolved at the same time as I did. While the first couple of seasons were pretty childish and devoid of anything "serious", the show later started to demonstrate it's ability to take itself a little more seriously with more developped characters and emphasis on plot rather than relying on the show's gimmicks, like fruity spandex outfits and combining giant robots. Over the years it's had some hight points (The "In Space" and "Time Force" series) and some low points ("Lightspeed Rescue" and "Turbo"), but knowing that the show had potential to be good kept me coming back each new season.

Now, "Ninja Storm" marks the first season where the production has been handed over from SABAN to DISNEY. There have been some changes, as expected, but for the most part, it doesn't seem good. Like the first few seasons of Power Rangers, this one seems to have an overall emphasis on humor and gimmicks. While in battle, the rangers won't stop chatting and making bad puns and jokes. They're actually less chatty when they're un-morphed. You'd think physical exertion of that sort would have the opposite effect on their voice boxes. Also, in the first episode where the Ninja Academy and all its students are sucked up into a vortex (or something like that) the rangers hardly seem at all worried, but rather just babble like idiots while debating whether that wicked cool explosion was a vortex or an earthquake. You know, your classmates could be DEAD, you insensitive assholes. (They're not, of course. As it is, the show is way too child-like for death.)

I could be jumping to conclusions here. The series is still young, and "In Space" had a few bad episodes at first before it got good. Still, I think I'll just move on with my life at this point and start looking into the girlfriend department. There's gotta be something better I can do with this half-hour...

Death to Smoochy (2002)

Wickedly funny, but not everyone's cup of tea.

[16 October 2002]

Before you see this film, you must really have a tolerance for some seriously dark humor. Juxaposing Barney-esque children's show scenes with mobsters and disgruntled workers cursing a blue streak and murder is an odd form of comedy, and probably won't work for everyone. (I laughed my ass off while my mother was horrified.)Also, the juxaposition of Ed Norton's innocent character and the world of corruption around him works pretty well too. To like this film, you'll need to be in a very loose humor kind of mood.

Gary the Rat (2000 Video)

Pretty good, but too short.

[7/10 · 11 September 2002]

I haven't seen many web-animations, which might explain my principal complaint with Gary the Rat. But brevity aside, Gary the Rat, with Gary voiced by Kelsey Grammer, is really great. The artwork is really good, and allows a great deal of rat facial expressions, and the animation is fairly smooth. The humor is also pretty good, the kind we've come to expect from the better prime-time animated shows. Gary is also appropriatley charactered, seeing as how he truly is as evil as most lawyers are made out to be. The exterminator who routinely tries to kill him with zany plans is a tad juvenile, but nevertheless makes great humor when interacting with Gary, even though Gary is almost oblivious that someone is trying to kill him. It's a shame this wasn't made into a real tv series, so we'd get more than three minute increments each time, but all things considered, it's still pretty good.

Final Fantasy X (2001 Video Game)

Final Fantasy launches into the realm of 2001 gaming consoles with it's tradition of excellence.

[11 September 2002]

Final Fantasy, considered by many to be the greatest video game RPG series ever, hell even having been one of the first and defining ones, makes the jump to the Playstation 2 with it's God-Knows-How-Many bits of power. Video game RPGs were once known for sacrificing graphics in favor of a lenghtly story and intricate combat system; however, the final fantasy series has been gradually defeating that steriotype with each new game. And now, the tenth installment of the series succeeds in creating a long and engrossing gameplay experience while producing some of the finest graphics seen to-date. Not only that, but the design of these graphics are nothing short of beautiful (Although at times in odd taste. I mean, just look at Tidus' outfit!)

Graphics aside, Final Fantasy X dwelves into new territory previously unseen in any FF game: Voice acting! While this may frighten purists, you will be glad to hear that the voice acting in this game is very good for the most part. The principal characters are all handled quite proffessionaly, especially Wakka, as performed by John Di Maggio.

The story of final fantasy is also quite complex and engrossing, as Tidus, the cheery Blitzball player of the futuristic fantasy land of Zanarkand is transported a thousand years into the future by an entity called "Sin." He finds himself in a quasi-medieval world of Spira, where machinery is outlawed by the religion of Yevon, and the land is ravaged by Sin as a punishment for mankind's missdeeds of the past. The only means of defeating Sin is for a Summoner, a person who can summon montrous spirits of the dead called "Aeons", to embark on a pilgrimage to the ruins of Zanarkand to receive the "Final Aeon". With the Final Aeon, a summoner can defeat Sin and Spira will be at peace for a few years before Sin rises again. Wanting to see his homeland of Zanarkand, Tidus joins Summoner Yuna, the daughter of a summoner who defeated Sin ten years ago, along with her guardians to defeat Sin. However, as Tidus travels forth, he discovers that there is much more to Spira, Zanarkand, Yevon, Sin and even his own purpose for being there than he initially finds.

Gameplay-wise, it's roughly the same menu battle system as in previous games, except that a chart shows you who's turn it's going to be next and the others after that. (Of course, depending on the choices in battle, that chart could mutate, so it's not too simple or easy.) Leveling up is also much different than in previous games. In battle, characters earn "AP" which gives them "Moves" on the sphere grid. The Shere grid is like a board game. As a character moves along, he can activate "nodes", which boost different abilities, using spheres earned in battle.

Overall, Final Fantasy X is a big change from previous FF games, while also retaining familiar aspects enough to be a FF game. In spite of the changes, or perhaps even because of them, FFX is probably the best RPG available on the PS2 at the moment, and will follow the suit of previous FF games as "Classics."

Power Rangers Wild Force (2002–2003)

A step back? Maybe. Too soon to tell.

[20 March 2002]

Power Rangers has had an interesting history here in North America. Power Ranges is actually a Japanese series called "Sentai" or something. Saban just decided to take the costumes, action scenes, special effects and whatnot, and add English actors and their own plot. And, amazingly enough, they had a national phenomenon on their hands. But phenomenon can last only for so long. A show about five (then six) teens who put on flashy costumes, did some martial arts against rubbery monsters and used gigantic robots (Zords) to fight can only go so far. Not to mention the poor acting and pathetic plots. So Saban tried to add new Zords, change Rangers and villains, and make a movie. Still, that could only stir interest for three years. So Saban tried to change both zords and ranger costumes. Thus came "Power Rangers: Zeo" But little had changed. Saban then decided to get in the habit of changing ranger themes every season, in sync with the Japanese series. Thus, "Power Rangers: Turbo" came next, as did another bad movie. Interest was seriously waning. It seemed like Power Rangers had ran it's course. FINALLY, Saban got it's act together and made "Power Rangers: In Space", a season that didn't focus entirely on flashy moves, spiffy looking Zords, but on overall plot and development. Power Rangers was actually watchable by people other than mindless little children now. And it had an awesome season finale that wrapped everything in previous seasons up. Now, Saban would do precisely the same as Sentai and change cast, plot, ranger themes, zords and everything every new season. It might help to keep interest alive. So next came: "Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy" It wasn't quite as good as "In Space", but showed that Saban at least still knew what they were doing. However, a big step back was taken with "Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue", a season that went back to the needless flashiness and pointless crap of the first five seasons. I didn't bother watching most of it. But things looked bright again with "Power Rangers: Time Force", where the focus was actually on the overall character development that took place over the season, mainly between the dilemma of the Pink Ranger (Jen) slowly learning to soften up and falling in love with the ancestor of her fiance, and the Quantum Ranger's (Eric) development into a less solitary and spiteful character, as well as understanding that Wes (Red Ranger) never did look down on him. And Now... Power Rangers: Wild Force. Verdict? So far: Not good. It seems as though Saban is AGAIN returning to the habit of having the rangers do needless flashy things, such as poses, and adding new Zords every six seconds to try and make it interesting rather than use character and plot. And what plot there is seems to wrap up in one episode rather than be strewn out over the whole season. But, it is fairly early, so it may be too soon to judge. "In Space" had a rough start, so this one may turn out for the better. Let's hope so. If Power Rangers can maintain genuine interest, I wouldn't mind seeing it go on. Otherwise, let it die and see if we can get something better in it's place.

The Ripping Friends (2001–2002)

Feels like they`re holding back.

[5 January 2002]

I get the impression that the creators of this show are trying to create something on par with Ren and Stimpy, but are deliberatly holding back. Possibly because it's on Fox Kids. (Although I did see a pretty raunchy episode on YTV.) It's just that whenever I watch an ep, I see that they have an excellent premise and potential, but it's only half fulfilled. It's kind of like shouting when you could clearly scream.

The Animal (2001)

I can only recommend this movie for two reasons...

[5 January 2002]

WARNING: SLIGHT SPOILERS, BUT I CAN TELL YOU WHAT'S FUNNY SO AS TO SAVE YOU THE DISCOMFORT OF HAVING TO SIT THROUGH THE REST OF THE MOVIE TO GET TO THEM. ...and they are that near the end, some SNL alumni show up to provide the only things I could laugh at.

1:Norm MacDonald makes a funny-ish question segment about riot torches.

2: Remember how Rob shows up near the end of every Adam Sandler movie yelling "You can do it!!!"? Well, Adam shows up here and does the same to Rob here. Not a bad stunt. Too bad they wasted such a good trick on this movie.

Beyond this, I can't recommend this movie to anyone who isn't heavily into gross humor.

Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005)

Surprisingly good in spite of the hokey concept.

[2 January 2002]

I'll be the first to admit that I thought this was a very bad idea when I'd first heard of it. I mean, a cartoon based on a celebrity? I laughed when I thought of Billy Baldwin Adventures. But thank the good heavens that the people behind this production know how to take a crappy concept and turn it into one of the better cartoons out there. The action is good and fast without looking ridiculous, the humor is pretty good, and the directing job is great. I also like the fact that Jacky Chan himself is not showboating. Most of the time, he actually gets his behind whupped and humiliated.

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty (2001 Video Game)

Met expectations.

[13 December 2001]

Metal Gear Solid 2 was extremely well done, but nothing about it really blew me away. I saw all the previews and whatnot, and the game lived up to my basic expectations. However, there were a number of things that bugged me. First off, the gameplay is way too similar to MGS1. There were a few token upgrades, but that`s all. The gameplay itself is almost identical to MGS, and it`s getting so that there are token scenes in the MG series. *WARNING!!! SPOILERS!!!* Just as there was a fight against an airborne machine in MGS, so is there in MGS2. And there is also a token one-on-one brawl with the last boss, just like you did with Liquid in the first. While the story and cutscenes are all fantastic, I think that the MG series needs to work on improving it`s gameplay, seeing as how the storytelling is already peaked.

Dragonheart: A New Beginning (1999 Video)

Toned down kids version.

[15 September 2001]

Certainly not as trilling or as well done as the original. Even with all the great actors, it's limited to cliches and other such crap that you can expect from a kids film. I recommend this only for die hard fans of the original. And infants.

Digimon: Digital Monsters (1999–2007)

Not nearly as bad as you'd expect.

[7 September 2001]

Okay, when I saw the first couple of commercials for this a few years ago, "Pokemon Ripoff" came to mind, as it did for many others out there.

I also admit that the first few episodes of Digimon sucked, and sucked hard at that.

But I can safely say that during it's first season, the people behind this show got their act together and made a good story, with actual character development and gave it a fairly good balance of humor and drama. Mostly humor, or course. Although even at it's best, it's still a notch corny.

The second season, luckily, started off on this right foot and held my interest throughout the saga. It ended up being even better than the first.

Now that the third season has began, it already looks like it's going to be better still.

As for the Pokemon influence, yes, there obviously is a lot in common in terms of base concepts. Cute little creatures evolving and duking it out. Hell, I'm even sure this show wouldn't have been dubbed here if it hadn't been for Pokemon's huge success. But Digimon has created an identity of it's own, through the different characters, devolopment, story and execution. You'd have to watch it a few times to see.

Overall, it's the story development that really reels you in, and the show is above average as far as kids shows go.

Action Man (2000–2002)

Started out great, but then went to crap.

[3 September 2001]

I don't understand: The first ten or so episodes of Action Man were really good, and the show was actually above most other kids programs. The emphasis was more so on plot and overall story. Alex Mann was a deep man who cared about his team, and his rival, Brandon Kane, whose body Dr. X had inhibited. And Dr. X himself was more than a simple "Bad Guy", he was a man who had a passion for his work and truly beleived neo-humanity was beneficiary for the world. Furthermore, he RESPECTED Action Man, and wanted him to join him. And he always referred to him as "Mr. Mann."

But, like a sudden snap, the show almost completely turned into a crappy, cliché, spoon-fed kids show, with no deep plot and the characters turned into uncomplicated, one dimensional steriotypes. Dr. X went from what is described above to an idiotic simple villain who, in those annoying new spoon-fed bio descriptions, "Hated" Action Man. And he started calling him "Action man" as well. Alex aslo became a dim-bulb jock who started spouting out crappy catch phrases such as "Show me that rush! WOOOOOOH!!!"

I can't understand why the producers made such a huge writing change when they had such a good thing going. While the show is still on, I hope they can save it and switch back.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

Not too shabby.

[1 September 2001]

Certainly not the best film ever, but a lot better than most other garbage out there. Of course, you`ll have to be the type who finds several obsceneties used in the same sentance in a slightly more intelligent manner that usual funny. Plus, the major stars who appear add some value to the movie too. Chris Rock is great as the whitey hating movie director.

The Wayne Brady Show (2001–2002)

Too much and too little.

[1 September 2001]

Sure, Wayne Brady is talented as hell, but trying to do everything at once (Singing, dancing, skits, improv...) it just doesn't fit well together. I'm worried Mr. Brady is getting a swelled head. The intro is kind of pompus: "It's Wayne Brady! In case you haven't heard, he's the hottest thing around..." and the set is overly flashy. It's rarely funny too.

I think Mr. Brady should stick to Whose line. He's fantastic on it, but this just doesn't work.

Life (I) (1999)

Not really a comedy.

[15 August 2001]

I recall laughing once during the whole thing. It's not really a comedy,as having Murphy and Lawrence would lead one to believe. It's a tale of friendship put to the ultimate test, with occasional comedy put in. And not very well at that. If you watch this, don't expect comedy, but just a story.

Power Rangers Time Force (2001)

Recovering...

[22 July 2001]

PR was crap at first, but then slowly improved over the years. It peaked at the In Space series, but crapped down at Lightspeed Rescue. Time Force is an improvement over Lightspeed, but it could sill use some work. It's still overall enjoyable to watch, if you're still into this kinda thing.