m0rphy Reviews

The Big Red One (1980)

Farcical Unlimited Cliches

[2/10 · 8 July 2004]

About half an hour into watching this film I decided instead to count the Hollywood cliches instead of trying to believe in the plot.For those lucky enough not to have seen this film they were in no particular order: 1.Persistent lazy Hollywood producers allowing non-Americans to speak English to each other, e.g. German soldiers.At least Joseph E Levine insisted in his film "The Longest Day" (1962) that the French spoke French, German spoke German etc, and this was 18 years before the subject film was made!For those not able to understand these languages sub titles are always available.This lazy habit immediately destroys a film's credibility and convinces you all you are seeing is acting.It seems if you are going to portray an historic event you might at least film it in a credible way.

2.Untrained soldiers skilled in obstetrics in the middle of a battle field!

3.You see a concentration camp boy victim apparantly unable to walk and is laid down on the commandant's bed.Almost immediately he is seen to walk out under his own steam and then eating looking almost healthy when he refused food before.Then he cannot walk again and finally expires while riding piggy back on the sergeant!

4.The usual 1940 and 50s method of soldiers dying on screen i.e. a sudden hand up to "the wound" and then keeling over.

5.Usual portrayal of skilled German soldiers as stupid and unable to defend themselves.

6.Omaha Beach on a shoestring budget on D-Day - the platoon wins the beach battle by itself!

7.A superannuated sergeant (far too old for active service in WWII) going around Europe without any officer in charge of him and his platoon and when he asks for help from Brigade is told, "you're on your own".

8.A female resistance guerilla infiltrates into a lunatic asylum and proceeds to cut the throats of trained German soldiers.All medical staff were vetted and under German orders and would not have been able to secrete her into this type of establishment.

9.Little or no character development, so one feels no sympathy for the characters portrayed.

10.An insurance actuary would not accept when assessing the odds on survival, that the principal characters would all come through unscathed at the end of the film after risking their lives at Sicily (1943), D- Day (1944) and sundry other combat engagements. Well those are my top ten cliches. I don't want to bore readers with others.There should be a law in Hollywood at making films as excrutiating as this.I awarded it 2/10.

You've Got Mail (1998)

Rehash of "Sleepless In Seattle"

[6/10 · 18 March 2004]

I tuned into this film tonight after its opening titles had elapsed so was not sure of its title.For a while I thought I was watching its earlier incarnation as per my title.Even the walkways of the marina were similar confusing me and of course the primary plot was the same.I do not like films which stretch one's credulity too far unless it is out and out fantasy fiction.

1.You have to believe out of all the people in the world these two correspond by internet chatroom to each other but actually live virtually next door to each other - one coincidence too far!

2.A woman customer breaks down in tears when reminiscing in Meg Ryan's bookshop about reading "Anne of Green Gables" in the days when Meg's mother was its owner!!

3.Tom Hanks gave many clues of his real identity after she was "stood up" at the initial restaurant rendezvous as her internet chat room pal, yet Meg Ryan consistently did not "suss" who he really was until the last scene.

4.Their respective present partners showed no compatibility to each other and it made we wonder what they saw in each other in the first place to actually marry them.In a way I was more interested in their fate as we all knew MR and TH would end up together almost from the off.

5.Despite knowing Meg Ryan's love of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" Tom Hanks seemed particularly inept on several occasions even knowing the faintest plot or motivation of the central characters of this book.(I would have at least done a bit of homework first before sending off my latest transmission)

This and other irritating events disturbed my sense of logic throughout the film.Yet it is rare for something to be either wholly good or bad and there were a few bright flourishes which amused me.One was the rather pretentious prose used by Meg Ryan's partner when he types a phrase to her on his old fashioned electric typewriter while in her presence.Incidentally by 1998 were not people generally using word processors? And why is it that all film actors in scenes involving typing can do 120 w.p.m.? I thought the plot was just too "pat" for my liking and the finale was telegraphed a 100 miles away.

Notwithstanding my criticism, I did enjoy most of it but certainly not as much as the original in my title.Generally I find sequels a let down as Hollywood producers just cannot resist repeating a successful formula, although I do concede the two principal actors do have chemistry together on screen so I understand why it was produced.I rated it 6/10 compared to the present values of 6.7 for SIS and 6.2 for this film.

A Lady Surrenders (1944)

Tugs At My Heart Strings

[8/10 · 18 March 2004]

I'm a sucker for any film which portrays wonderful skill at pianoforte (I even liked dear old Cornel Wilde playing Frederic Chopin!) and better still with the deliciously beautiful, raven haired Margaret Lockwood - I've been a fan of hers ever since she portrayed the Gainsborogh Films, "Wicked Lady (1945)".Add to that her co star in that film, the attractive Patricia Roc and Gainsborough stalwart, Stewart Grainger then add a delightful Cornish location setting with empty roads you can remember as a kid, driving down to that county from London in the mid 1950s; and for me that is a recipe for a great film.

I was not disappointed having bought this rare film (not generally seen today on tv networks) by successfully bidding on "EBay.com".The music played by Harriet Cohen to Hubert Bath's score was a major enjoyable feature.What is it about these beautiful actresses of the 1940s I find so appealing?It certainly is not the way they keep lighting up on screen but my mother told me that during WWII virtually everyone she knew smoked.I suppose your life expectancy could be short when you began to realise any day could be your last before a German bomb landed on you.Considering I was born in 1946, I personally find brunette actresses such as Margaret Lockwood, Jennifer Jones, Hedy Lamarr, Gene Tierney etc. a hundred times more sexy than todays obvious sirens.

As this is rather a rare film, I will provide a plot so readers may judge for themeselves whether to investigate it further.Sorry for the spoiler:

Margaret Lockwood plays Lissa a talented and successful concert pianist based in London.Lissa feels she should apply to the WRAF to help the war effort before her agent is about to arrange another international tour.However Lissa fails her statutory medical and is then alarmed to discover by illicitly reading her confidential medical file that she has only three months to live!As she has spent too much time on her art but not enough enjoying a holiday, she arranges a break for herself in Cornwall (for non-cognoscenti it is a county in the extreme south west of England, famous as an internal holiday resort - remember this is war time).She checks into a hotel and there meets an avuncular guest who is a wealthy retired industrialist who befriends her and agrees to finance the play to be produced there.Whilst there, Patricia Roc (who plays a London professional actress) comes down to Cornwall to stay with the intention of producing the play, "A Midsummer Night's Dream".Also there is Patricia's friend, an ex miner cum archaeologist called Kit, (Stewart Grainger) who is cynical about the world as only these two know his sight is failing and an operation is too risky to contemplate.He practices in secret for the time he will become blind.

Whilst out on the cliffs looking at an old mine shaft Kit meets Lissa and they initially become friends.Kit however keeps reciting the song of the "Miller of Dee" (Musically) "I care for nobody, no not me and nobody cares for me"; meaning he does not want any serious emotional entanglement as he does not think it fair he should inflict a cripple on any future partner.Lissa however finds she is falling in love with him and tries but just cannot keep to the "only fun" agenda.On the music front, Cornwall (the sound of the sea, seagulls crying overhead etc.) inspire her to write "Cornish Rhapsody" for pianoforte.Kit even announces his engagement to Patricia Roc but really they are just platonic friends who grew up together.Realising her romance is apparantly doomed from the outset, Lissa plans a return to London but not before she gives her debut of "Cornish Rhapsody" before the play can start as Patricia first has serious emotional problens to contend with and cannot go onto the improvised exterior stage which has views of the sea and where the audience sits on the rocks and cliffs.

Kit then suddenly appears at the London debut (The Royal Albert Hall) of "Cornish Rhapsody" after he and Patricia both realise they would merely be going through the motions if they married.He discloses to Lissa his infirmity and is comforted by her belief that although the odds are against it, he should have the corrective op.Mercifully it is a success but then Lissa has her own health problem to disclose to Kit.The film ends on a hopeful note.We all want Lissa to live happily with Kit but fate must be tested first.I always think whether the producers of films between 1939-1945 are trying to tell us the viewer an allegorical story of struggle of good against an implacable foe in such cases.

Highly enjoyable for me 8/10.

Mrs. Miniver (1942)

Naive but Enjoyable

[26 February 2004]

When we see films that are 60 years old we must disabuse ourselves of the techniques used in modern cinema.Today the audience has been weaned on social realism, technical excellence, computer and graphic effects.There has also been the scholarship and body of experience and knowledge that has built up over this intervening period.The audience in war torn Britain in 1942 were far less sophisticated as they lived in a society where you only had a radio and the written word if you were lucky.There was no means of comparison, indeed their cinema probably looked (through their eyes) quite sophisticated after the melodramatic gestures and emoting of silent cinema from their previous generation.

I therefore have to grit my teeth when I see the wrong items listed by a previous reviewer in this film, (e.g. American garden fences, interior decor, speech patterns etc).However, Hollywood had the money in 1942 to produce this film while film finance was difficult to obtain here during the war.If Winston Churchill thought this a wonderful propaganda film and that it had a positive effect on war morale, then in spite of its modern technical shortcomings, it achieved its aim and therefore must be considered significant.I have a bit of a hazy memory of this one as I don't own this title on VHS and have only seen it about twice but I do remember that Greer Garson's performance justly stood out.Her calm, intelligent, poise was ideal casting in the portrayal of a British housewife (played by a British subject) whose life is about to become highly traumatised as a result of her family's involvment in WWII.How I would have loved to have seen a British version with an all British cast actually filmed in England at the time but many British actors were serving in the armed services then.

I am intriged by a modern trend of American actresses coming over here to the UK to play British parts with accent to match.Predominatly I am impressed by Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Ehle both of whom have been to my ears very convincing in recent years.Greer Garson justly won her Oscar as best actress and it seems after reading her biography she was almost the same persona in real life, so the part came very naturally to her.

Her Highness and the Bellboy (1945)

Walker- loveable, Lamarr - devine

[7/10 · 9 February 2004]

It's always a great thrill for me to see a long awaited film for the first time.This is a very hard title to obtain since the movie rights appear to be owned by TCM and they have not seen fit to issue it commercially on video yet.Don't they realise there is a whole army of movie buffs out there wanting to see these films?Certainly it has never even been shown on TCM in the UK to my knowledge.It seems one's only hope is to record it off TCM in the U.S.A. when they choose to transmit it.

I was fortunate in that my extensive American network was able to track down a copy to a dealer in the U.S. who specialises in rare videos.Well to the film!

Robert Walker is very good playing light comedic roles.His timing is good and in the central role of the bellboy he is...well...loveable.Its a similar part he was to play in "One Touch of Venus (1948) with Ava Gardner who he likewise addresses as "your majesty".Its a modern fairy tale where a European princess (the devine Hedy Lamarr), comes to New York to search for her American long lost love and to escape for a time royal protocol and the royal groom the court wants to assign to her.Her real love is a columnist on "The Gazette" who hangs out in a low dive and bar writing his stories for the paper.There is a touch of the plot of "Roman Holiday (1960) with Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck in the storyline of the royal princess socialising and having a romantic relationship with a commoner.Due to a misunderstanding, the bell-boy thinks she loves him instead and he temporarily abandons his crippled girlfreind Leslie (June Allyson) who lives in the flat above his, painting dolls for a living. The main sub plot involves keeping his simple frind Albert from joining the local hoodlums since Albert was once in a boys reformatory and has picked up some rather unsavory company.When the king of Hedy's country dies she becomes Queen and has to return at once to her native country.Being a generous queen she invites the bellboy to come back with her and for one mad moment the bellboy thinks she is in love with him and he might even become king!!.Hedy is courageous and participates in a bar room brawl, even getting arrested by the cops, then giving the other arrested "dames" a valuable diamond-studded cigarette case as a keepsake of the evening.Her American boyfriend is also startled to see her carted off in the police wagon.

Of course, we all knew from the first that the bellboy would end up with Leslie his crippled girl friend whose incapacity the doctor informs us is probably psychosomatic and not a purely physical disability.She just needs love (don't we all!).In a moment of truth Robert Walker sees the light and tactfully declines Hedy's offer of a passage on the boat back to her country.This inspires the new queen to abdicate at once as she wishes to live for love in the U.S. as well and become just a plain Mrs with the man she loves.So of course it all ends happily ever after.

Hedy is of course utterly gorgeous to look at and in her prime.That genuine Viennese accent perfectly convincing us of her central European pedigree.She is attended by a duchess lady in waiting played by Agnes Moorhead who puts on a passable accent.Robert Walker is very effective in the role of the bellboy and his real love, June Allyson, warms to her part and even shows us a little dancing sequence.There is a very imaginative scene where she dreams that she can walk and meets her prince charming who transforms from a frog to a prince in a court presided over by a kingly Albert!I wonder, did Michael Powell get his idea for the dreamlike never ending stairway for "A Matter of Life and Death (1946)from the one shown in this sequence?

Everyone is portrayed in a very sympathetic light so no one goes to bed unhappy.Good old fashioned Hollywood story telling at its best.I rated it 7/10.

The Slasher ...is the Sex Maniac! (1972)

"Strangers on a Train" star Distracting.

[3/10 · 6 February 2004]

Most movie buffs will have seen the captioned Hitchcock film from 1950 and perhaps the earlier "Rope" (1948) but here is a chance to see another Farley Granger performance 22 years down the line - I was impressed how little he had aged.He plays Inspector Capuana in this very average Italian horror film from 1972.In fact I found him unwittingly distracting because I kept thinking of the above films and how he now looked a bit like Rock Hudson in his mature years, wearing a moustache.

Put simply, it is the story of a psychotic maniac who murders unfaithful wives by stabbing them after first taking the necessary photographic evidence which he then liberally sprinkles at the murder scene to "justify" his act.I was amazed how he knew who all these faithless wives were and where he found the time for his "hobby".The victims all seemed to know each other so the film seemed to be set in a hot bed of adultery.All the usual horror film cliches were present - the murderer who always seems to magically appear in the house by apparantly walking through solid doors and windows,(doesn't anyone ever lock their houses in horror films?).The chase scene where despite the girl running away, the slower moving maniac is always closer behind, the car door which is always locked preventing escape, the closed doors and windows etc.My! how all these women loved to smoke!!None of them seemed happy unless puffing away continually - its amazing they hadn't all died earlier from lung cancer!.I only bought the video to see Krista Nell but she only had one decent scene and then gets "bumped off" for her trouble before her boyfriend arrives at her house for "a bit of nooky".

My video arrived with rather irritating Japanese subtitles.What was rather comical was that Farley Granger was obviously originally speaking his lines in English (the other actors in Italian) but his voice had then been overdubbed by another English speaking actor so we could understand.Instead, I kept hearing in my head his real voice from "Strangers oon a Train"..."Bruno you're crazy"!I won't provide spoilers in the extremely unlikely event anyone would want to buy this title after reading this review.The plot becomes rather repetitve after a while and the characters of the femaile adulterous victims become very one dimensional and there is a lot of bare bosom around from virtually all these lady victims.

Another "comical" character was the blond mortuary attendant, he really seemed to be in his element as a rabid necrophilliac!Overall poor and I rated it 3/10.

The Adventures of Robin Hood (1955–1960)

The Second Verse Goes...

[5 February 2004]

I echo "carflo" of San Antonio Texas' comments below and now have this strange compulsion to add the second verse:

(Merrily)"He called his merry archers to a tavern on the green, They vowed to help the people of the King, They handled all the troubles on the English country scene And still found plenty of time to sing" (Chorus) Robin Hood, Robin Hood riding through the glen, etc etc.

What I did not know at the time was that the much hyped Richard Coer de Leon" (Richard I)only spent about 8 days throughout his life in his kingdom and did not like living here.He spoke 12th century French by preference and was only interested in how many taxes he could levy on us Anglo Saxons to finance his crusades.Some revisionist historians claim that John was put upon by his brother almost in the same way Edward VIII did on George VI in 1936 and that he was not half the villain he was painted as we know he was under considerable pressure from the powerful barons to give up a lot of his powers.(Don't get me onto the subject of the House of Tudor's hatchet job on Richard III).

But who is interested in history at 9 or 10?This is a sacred childhood memory I prefer to leave unsullied.Now from the top sing....

Love Angels (1974)

A.K.A. "Love Angels"

[4/10 · 4 February 2004]

Mario Racocevic from Europe is the only user who has posted a comment so far and covers the major points to the film.Yet again another difficult film to purchase in the UK.I had to go through "Midnight Video" who have a Swedish branch.I went to the post office and bought by mail order this and a similar title at only SKR30 a title.

This film goes under many "a.k.a's" depending on when and where it is marketed.I had previously purchased "The Bloodsucker leads the Dance" (which you will find if you search on Imdb under "people" and input "Krista Nell").The actor who plays the Count on his private island in the latter film had his words dubbed from Italian into English by an actor with an unmistakably mournful and rather tired sounding voice.I smiled when I heard this same voice dubbing on the English soundtrack as the police inspector who is investigating the murder of the prostitute killed in the copse in the subject film.My choice of course was to see another outing by the delicious Krista Nell.

There are quite a few rather inconsequential sub plots in the movie involving blackmail/extortion, sleazy affairs with girlfriends' mothers, a motor cycle chase resulting in a gangland hit, a gangrape by a "client's" motorcycle friends, sleazy photography, cross dressing by transvestites etc. which give a flavour to this film summarised in a word - SLEAZE, (but artistic sleaze).The aforementioned contributor liked this film but the lowly rating suggests other Imdb fans did not albeit without explaining their "wheres and whyfores".Personally I thought there were too many subplots and not enough put into the main story and the relationship of these subordinate characters to the central plot and the development of their screen characters.Also a professional film editor was sorely needed as some of the scenes appeared to last far too long, having made their point, so that the film appeared to drag in places; e.g. the scene of the dancing transvestite.Krista Nell appears in one fruity scene with a client but this too is but a vignette and I was left wanting more from her, the director and the screenplay.

I love the political incorrectness shown in older films (this is 30 years from its making) e.g. smoking in offices and the way some characters react to each other in the office!I would suggest 4/10 as a more realistic rating and I have awarded it as such.

Mansfield Park (1999)

Another Fix for Austen Groupies

[6/10 · 4 February 2004]

It is always a pleasure to read John Simpson from Hastings literate reviews and I echo his sentiments.Mansfield Park was published in 1814 being set in 1806.It came after Pride & Prejudice but before Emma.Many of the user comments below bemoan the fact that the film departs from the novel.This is certainly not necessarily a bad thing if the producer can give us a better version; e.g.the ending of "Portrait of Jennie (1948).Personally I have not read the novel but saw this tv film about a year ago before it was repeated recently.I therefore have to accept the director shows latitude with the facts of the written word but we don't know what agenda from the producers she was working from.Was she told to "sex it up" with the copulation scene?Was she told to mention contraversial subjects such as rape and slavery to satisfy modern prurient tastes?

I was intrigued whether I would feel differently, having seen it before and therefore have the benefit of familiarity with its content.I must confess I was left with a rather hollow feeling at its end.This film gives the impression it is based on one of Austen's darker novels what with the allusions to slavery and the early stirrings of womens' emancipation but we know from our literate colleagues Austen did not mention these, only perhaps on her unwritten and subconcious agenda.I was quite impressed with the art work of scenes on the slave driven Antiguan plantation as they effectivly captured the main emotion of fear.Did Austen really write the joke about "... after all this is 1806", as if it were the swinging sixties? Slavery was abolished in Britain from 1833, so we have to assume this was an accepted but socially unspoken topic, contraversial when Mansfield Park was written

The principal players headed by Frances O'Connor as Fanny Price gave measured, adequate performances but I never experienced the high emotions experienced from Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth in the celebrated 1995 tv film of P&P.One of the highlights of an Austen outing is to hear wonderful piano-forte but I sorely missed an exposition of this by any of the ladies present.Personally, Carl Davies' original Mozartian piano theme he composed for the aforementioned P&P will take a lot of beating.Jane Austen collected her "Opinions of Mansfield Park" from family and friends just after its publication.This was long before public opinion polls or indeed Imdb user comments!! I rated it 6/10.

From Russia with Love (1963)

One For Chess Geeks

[7/10 · 4 February 2004]

Being a strong amateur chess player and lover of good films, after I read the Fleming novel when I was 14 in 1960), I naturally was intrigued by the opening sequence of this 1963, second outing for JB 007.Fleming opens chapter 7 of his book as follows: "The two faces of the double clock in the shiny, domed case looked out across the chess-board like the eyes of some huge sea monster that had peered over the edge of the table to watch the game.The two faces of the chess clock showed different times."

But there's not much 0-0 in 007 -- or much chess in most chess fiction, for that matter.The book only tells us that grandmaster Kronsteen, a secret agent of the deadly SMERSH, won this game after introducing "a brilliant twist into the Meran Variation of the Queen's Gambit Declined to be debated all over Russia for weeks to come." The reality is that the filmed position is based on A "King's Gambit" opening played by grandmasters Spassky (White) and Bronstein (Black) and was played in the 1960 USSR championship.I can give you the moves if you like as the game only lasted 23 moves and as in the film, was won by White.The difference to the piece position in the film being superficial to its actuality and with the SMERSH agent "Kronsteen" (Vladek Sheybal, inspired casting) playing White.In FRWL the opening scene takes place at the Venice International Tournament where Kronsteen ignores a courier's sealed message ordering him to stop play on the spot.He knows he risks his life if he fails to obey, but how many players can abandon a sure win?

Connery was really getting into his stride in his second outing as 007 and I personally don't think for sheer physical presence his version has been bettered.I liked the Matt Monroe song which I found tuneful and easy to remember.Having seen the rare "We Were Strangers (1948)" where Pedro Armandiarez played the ruthless Cuban secret policeman, I was astonished to see him again as the Turkish head of station who helps Bond; as it did not register on my radar until I read a user review below.I remember thinking when I was 17 (1963) how sexy the gypsy scene was with the two women fighting it out for James.The Aston Martin DB5 comes into its own in this film and must have contributed to many sales to the affluent class where no advertising campaign had to be financed by the David Brown Organisation!FRWL reinforced the embryonic mould of its genus, tentativly sketched by Dr.No and no, I was not bored with this film.I rated it as a trailblazer of its day at 7/10.

The Cruel Sea (1953)

A Tribute to Tony Cox

[8/10 · 4 February 2004]

Tony Cox's review is one of the best I have ever read on Imdb and says it all with heartfelt passion, accurately describing the drama and characters motivations in this realistic film of anti U-boat sea warfare throughout WWII.I won't try to emulate his brilliant narrative but just add a few thoughts of my own.Jack Hawkins is always very watchable in any of his films as an actor and seems to inhabit the part of Ericsson, the skipper of "Compass Rose" and "Saltash Castle".He vividly portrays the professional and emotional sides of his character, especially when he utters "...its the war, the bloody war" with tear stained eyes.

One has to disabuse your mind of later Donald Sinden parts and his rather stagey voice and look dispassionatly at his early carrer as he portrays the new No.1 with an interest in learning first aid which inevitably comes in useful when tending the many merchant seaman they meet who have become torpedo victims.Can someone please tell me what "snorkers" are when applied to sausages, as I have never heard this expression, despite living in London all my life.Evidently Stanley Baker loves them!!

This film effectively portrays the whole gamut of wartime emotions from the long Atlantic naval voyage boredom, short moments of high danger and excitement, guilt about not rescuing your own men who need help, sorrow at losing loved ones, training men on new sciences (asdic) and even romance (Viginia McKenna).At the end one feels as though you had actually been on the corvette yourself with the crew.One of the most realistic WWII dramas I have ever seen (and I have all the classics in my library).I rated it 8/10.

That Hamilton Woman (1941)

Emma - The Trophy Wife

[7/10 · 29 January 2004]

Told by Emma Hart (Vivien Leigh) as a flashback on her life when she was on hard times later in her life, the film portrays her rise to courtly fame and fall from social grace after her affair with the Lord Horatio Nelson (Lawrence Olivier).She is supported by her mother, (Sara Allgood) and makes the acquaintance of the British envoy (Hamilton) to Naples in about 1798.The latter is looking for a trophy wife to add to his collection of sculptures being something of an aesthete and he manages to successfully disabuse Emma from the idea that her fiance will follow her onto Naples.Later he pursades Emma to marry him, more as a platonic relationship to show off.(Nothing has changed).All goes well and Emma further rises in court circles by befriending the King and Queen of Naples.

One day a 21 gun salute announces the arrival in the bay of Naples of the Lord Horatio Nelson on a diplomatic mission.Inevitably he and Emma have their grand affair and the British envoy seems to take it on the chin, (high society did not marry for love in those days).Unfortunately although it is love, Mrs Nelson(Dame Gladys Cooper) will not give Horatio the divorce he craves and his career could mean you were years between meetings with your spouse.The affair will not help his career with the Admiralty either.Of course the day dawns (October 21 1805) off the Cape of Trafalgar (Spain) when Britain took on the combined French and Spanish fleets under Nelson's command.Why did he decide to go on his flagship Victory's quarter deck against good advice showing all his medals and braid, thus making him an obvious target for the sharpshooters in the rigging of "Le Redoubtable"? Was it an unconscious desire to end his life because his private life was then untenable?After his great victory and national rejoicing, his body was preserved in a keg of rum in preparation for a state funeral at St. Paul's Catherdral, London after the voyage home.Trafalgar Square was built in his honour and was laid out in about 1840.When Hamilton dies, Emma graciously refuses to profit from his estate to the detriment of his legitimate son and heirs.With no financial support from her dead love, she falls on hard times.

Obviously Leigh and Olivier had a natural chemistry together because of their marriage and previous affair.Vivien looks utterly exquisite and this film would look sumptuous if a colourised version could now be made available to film connoiseurs.After seeing and reading several versions of Winston Churchill's biography, it was obvious he had a great admiration for historic British martial heros, so it came as no surprise to me that this was his favourite film.Unmissable if you are a Larry and Vivien film fan.I rated it 7/10

The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945)

Look at it from the Producer's viewpoint

[7/10 · 25 January 2004]

With two English speaking nations, there is always a dilemma from a Hollywood producer's point of view on how to maximise the most important worldwide gross (which comes from the U.S.) when filming classic works of English and European literature, whilst attempting to stay true to the spirit of the original book.Inevitably a compromise is reached and American actors known to the U.S. public are hired in central roles to lure the punters into the movie houses, e.g. Charlton Heston in "El Cid" and "Khartoum", while the resident Hollywood British acting fraternity are hired to lend authenticity to certain key roles.We film purists must accept the facts of Hollywood life and look for our art in more parochial productions with a cast of indigenous actors produced from our own home tv networks.On the other hand in the long run does it really matter what nationality the actor is so long as their performance is credible and you enjoyed the production?In modern times we have had "Coals to Newcastle" in the shape of Gwynneth Paltrow in "Emma" and Jennifer Ehle in Pride & Prejudice.Both American ladies playing utterly convincing roles of English ladies on films produced in England!

I just had to comment on this the most popular of the filmed versions of Wilde's masterpiece which was published in 1890 and has attracted at least 14 versions alone listed on Imdb from 1910-1977.Said to be an analogy of Wilde's life, this version from 1945 espouses most of his sparkling epigrams via the rather rushed mouthpiece of Lord Henry Wooton (George Sanders).Dorian Gray (Hurd Hatfield) portrays the unemotional, narcissistic central character who enters into the sub Faustian pact of eternal youth for his soul.In this role there seems some contraversy by the reviewers below on how effective he was but the fact is it remains his most notable role.Sir Cedric Hardwicke narrates the fill-in literary details quoted from the book and Albert Lewin gives a suitably creepy direction.As quoted in some of my other reviews I always like to spot bit part actors in some of the minor character roles and once again I espied Billy Bevan (c.f. "Cluny Brown" 1946) as Sybil Vain's father playing the m.c. at the East End music hall.

I especially liked the colour painting of the decayed Dorian Gray by Ivan Allbright.Imdb trivia informs us that this painting took one year to complete.Angela Lansbury spent a lot of her formative Hollywood years playing her native British role - (see also "Gaslight" 1944 and "Kind Lady" 1951) but as one reviewer remarked, she seems a bit too demure for someone reared in the East End of 1886.I must add a word of congratulation on the excellent indoor set of Dorian's grand Mayfair town house, although the rather quaint Hollywood idea of late 19th century East End comes over as artificial, would that David Lean had been consulted!

Wilde's great literary style shine's through nevertheless and this is an eminently watchable production.I rated it 7/10

Young and Innocent (1937)

Where Was Naunton Wayne?

[7/10 · 22 January 2004]

For me one of the pleasures of movies is to recognise bit part actors who appeared in other movies.In this case Basil Radford who plays an avuncular figure to Nova Pilbeam but where was his regular film partner Naunton Wayne who appeared with him in so many other films, e.g. "Night Train to Munich"?

I think most people will not have heard of the male & female leads and I was surprised I had not considering I'm now 58 and have seen countless films from many decades.Yes, it seems to have the basic "39 Steps and North by North West" plot so beloved by Hitchcock.What attracted me was being able to see one of Hitchcock's films for the first time.Certain enlightened video dealers have taken to regularly hiring St. Albans town hall (Hertfordshire, England) on Saturdays and apart from the usual modern titles, to include some obscure and old ones that never get transmitted on tv, even on vintage movie channels.As stated by other reviewers, the long tracking shot in the dance hall to the drummer close up is the highlight and a patent Hitchcock device.I rated it 7/10 based on 1930s material I have seen

Brief Encounter (1945)

A Lean Classic

[8/10 · 16 January 2004]

As someone who was born in 1946 to a middle class family in England, when our society considered divorce and adultary shocking, even scandalous, I can empathise with the emotions felt by the central characters of Laura (Cynthia Johnson) and Alec (Trevor Howard). I cannot quite relate to the parts of Stanley Holloway and Joyce Carey as the working class comic relief playing the parts of the station master and head station café attendant.I did mix with `council house kids' in the playground at my primary school in the early fifties and do not remember their adult parents speaking in `mockney'.As British drama schools of this era were run by fairly left wing intellectual middle class staff, they tended to drum out the local accents and vernacular of their drama students to a received English pronunciation - what I call the `Cholomdley-Warner' school of speaking, (which I now find rather appealing after the endless kitchen-sink type dramas from the early sixties onwards).The consequence was we had actors like Audrey Hepburn trying to affect a cockney accent (My Fair Lady (1964)) but sounding false.Note-one of the best contemporary and authentic cockney accents is spoken by the actress who plays `Nan' to the Slater family in `East-Enders' on the BBC soap.

I also have a great love for the Rachmananov piano concerto no:2 in C minor, played here by Eileen Atkins and this seems to add perfectly to the emotional dimension and tone of the film, matching its general mood.Any film directed by David Lean should be seen alone for his breadth of vision, use of light and shade (e.g. effect on steam and smoke) and the high standard of editing.'Brief Encounter' is no exception.As previous reviewers have identified, this film should be viewed in the social context of when it was filmed and its subject matter.The censor certainly had no problems here and young discerning viewers can perhaps enjoy this film in the same way I can enjoy certain quality films of the 1930s.One of my interests is spotting the identity of bit part actors in different film roles, e.g a young Valentine Dyall (who was a foil of Spike Milligan in the 1960s).He comes back unexpectedly (as Alec's room mate) at the flat to where Alec takes Laura.Do we detect the frustrated homosexual predeliction of Coward here?If so, this could only be hinted at in 1945.The old type cinemas I remember when you saw a cartoon, Movietone News, a 'B' Feature and then the Main feature for continuous performances if you wanted, is certainly evocative, as well as the `Lyons Corner House' type tea shops where I went as a child and a teenager, as a chess tournament venue.

`Thank you for coming back to me', the last line, is quintessentially full of British understatement and makes me suspect her husband,(a whizz at crosswords), was not so gullible as his character suggests.One regret, we do not see Alec's wife to judge for ourselves why he is considering leaving her. I rated it 8/10.

Britannic (2000 TV Movie)

Torpedo or Mine?

[5/10 · 2 January 2004]

Firstly the facts:R.M.S.Britannic was the third of the "Olympic" class of liners to be launched by White Star from Harland & Woolf's shipyard in Belfast after the original "Olympic" (1910) and "Titanic" (1911).She was launched in 1914 but due to the outbreak of the First World War in Britain in August of that year, was requisitioned by the Admiralty and soon converted into a hospital ship with her distinct white hull and huge red cross on her sides.On her 6th outward voyage to the island of Mudros (Greece) she was either torpedoed or mined in the Kea channel in November 1916.The actual cause is still something of a mystery and I presume this doubt partly inspired the "plot".Lessons had been learnt from the earlier loss of "Titanic" (1912), notably the cellular double bottom, higher watertight bulkheads together with distinctive and exaggerated davits from each of which several lifeboats could quickly be launched. Mercifully there was minimal loss of life since it only had the White Star crew and medical staff onboard who were going to tend the casualites arising from Winston Churchill's ill advised Gallipoli campaign (1915) which he ordered when acting as First Lord of the Admiralty.Had this tragedy occurred after embarkation of the troops, the disaster could have become monumental.As one perceptive critic has observed below, one Violet Jessop had the dubious distinction in serving as steward/nurse on all the three aforementioned sister ships but was not mentioned in the film.

It seems almost "de rigeur" in all these type of marine disaster films to have a fictional slushy love story wrapped up in a few facts.We had Robert Wagner and Audrey Dalton in "Titanic"(1953) Leonardo de Caprio and Kate Winslet in "Titanic" (1997) to name but two.I have read Robert Ballard's account of his expedition to the wreck which is still in remarkable condition lying on her starboard side when compared to what is left of "Titanic".I also have another video which explores the second explosion (the first being caused either from a German mine or torpedo) and whether this was caused by igniting coal dust or cold water causing the exposed boilers to explode.The most fascinatng part of the film was what appeared to be authentic newsreel footage of the launching of "Britannic" as I had never seen this before.As regards the film itself, it can only be judged on entertainment value alone.Present are the usual Hollywood stereotypes of "Irish Freedom Fighters" given free reign in a wildly imaginative plot adequatly dealt with by my fellow reviewers below.

Violet Jessop fractured her scull in the water as the ship ploughed on while her rising propellers still turned and I assume this gave rise to the suicidal scene where the German agent commits virtual suicide while sitting in his life boat as it advances towards them without making an effort to avoid them.This was at odds with his desperate escape earlier.On enertainment value alone I rated it 5/10.

The Lost Film of the Titanic (1998 Video)

The only known film of the famous ship

[5/10 · 24 December 2003]

After the death of her cinema projectionist husband in England, his widow "discovers" in her garden shed a rusting canister below his work bench which contains authentic period newsreel film (which appeared to have become forgotten), of the "R.M.S.Titanic" at rest in her engraving (fitting out) dock in Belfast, Northern Ireland in 1911 shortly after she had been launched there on 31/5/11.Unfortunately this is the only actual film of the famous ship in existence and it does not last long. To make the video an acceptable length commercially, the producers of this film have included period film of the construction of her elder sister, "R.M.S.Olympic" whose keel was laid in 1908 and the ice flows from 1912 to give viewers an impression of what the origin of "Titanic" was like and the environment during her tragic collision accident with an iceberg at 11.40p.m. on Sunday 15/4/12.Also seen is authentic footage of the "Mackay-Bennett" which sailed out of Halifax , Nova Scotia, Canada being chartered by the undertakers (morticians to my US readers) acting for the relatives of the deceased, in a quest to find and preserve bodies recovered from the sinking location in the North Atlantic where crew and passengers perished.The saviour ship of the 705 souls aboard who survived was "R.M.S. Carpathia" which is seen steaming across the ocean.You will also see the White Star line offices in New York and people helping to organise relief for survivors together with certain of "Titanic's" suriving crew including Robert Hichens the coxain who was actually at the ship's wheel during the collision and was notionally put in charge of the same lifeboat as "The Unsinkable Molly Brown ". "Carpathia's" captian, Sir Arthur Rostron is also seen but he does not seem happy to be filmed for too long!

The point is that since "R.M.S. Olympic" was the elder sister ship, she attracted the bulk of the publicity causing the media to pass her off as the "Titanic" after the tragedy on film and in photographs since obviously there was no other cine film of "Titanic" available.Undoubtedly if you see old film of "The Titanic" apart from what I've mentioned above, it is probably of the "Olympic".Typical are the launch - "Olympic's" hull was painted grey for the cameras of the day and at Southampton on her maiden voyage in June 1911, by which time it had been painted regulation black separated by a gold band which separated the white painted upper structure.

The oldest survivor, Milvina Dean, who was a baby at the time has made a late career move speaking at "Titanic" conventions around the world and responding to requests in the media for her story: is interviewed by Fred Dineage for this film.

"The Lost Film" is a must for students of the disaster and the ship, since it informs viewers how little actual film of the great ship survived after her elder sister "Olympic" had scooped the headlines the previous year(1911).It also lays to rest certain wide public misunderstandings propagated by the media.

The Feast of Satan (1971)

Krista Nell's Best Film

[6/10 · 22 November 2003]

For someone who has bought "Pierrot le Fou" (1965), "Massacre pour Une Orgie"(1966) "Affare Beckett l'" (1966), "The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance" (1975) in the hope of seeing Christa Nelli (most often billed as in my title), this 1971 film is the best film I have seen of her.As it is some 32 years old it has been out of circulation for some while and hitheto has been a difficult title to find.However a German company, "Marketing Film", has recently brought out a new 2003 Dvd reissue edition (89 mins) under the title "Tanz Des Satans".This is an excellent product with crystal clear pictures and Dolby sound.There is no grainy picture as on some old videos and it looks as if it could have originally been filmed this year.

Instead of her black beehive hairstyle most often seen in her mid-sixties films, Krista Nell sports here a lovely head of light auburn hair and dresses very fashionably in different outfits for most of her scenes.Basically the story involves two sisters, Maria and Hilda (Krista Nell).Maria works as a nurse and is due for a long holiday which makes her very happy indeed.She only just manages to escape and is rescued from a traumatic event and is then rushed to a sanataorium to recover.Someone has evidently played with her mind!However the evil and hypnotic Dr Tills Nescu (Espartaco Santoni) will not be denied and with inside help, manages to abduct her from the sanatorium, taking Maria back to his forbidding castle.Hilda resolves to find her beloved sister and with the help of the local police and Interpol together with a friendly and helpful doctor from the hospital, she manages to track down where Maria was last seen.Dr Nescu has a secretary Andrea, (Teresa Gimpera who looks very much like Jill St. John) and who is obviously very much in his power.He is something of a playboy what with his yacht and trappings of a millionaire.Andrea also has to suffer all the girlfriends of her boss around his yacht much to her displeasure.Soon however Dr. Nescu has fallen for Hilda who he sees as special, much to the resentment of Andrea whom we suspect has lesbian feelings for Hilda herself (although this is never consummated).

To find out more, Hilda follows Dr Nescu and his entourage back into his castle where grisly horrors await.I will not divulge any more of the plot but it does involve devil worship.A good film I rated it 6/10.Please bear in mind the original language is Spanish but my Dvd came with German/English dubbing options.One gripe however.Italian Krista does not provide her own English dubbing as in "Affare Beckett l'??" and I wish these type of European Continental films provided proper credits so one can read the cast list, production values etc. as in most British/American films.

The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance (1975)

Italian Eurosleaze

[4/10 · 18 November 2003]

In contrast to my fellow reviewers, I always try to find something redeeming in any film I see.Yes, the quality of the dubbing and lighting is abysmal, the acting is wooden and the opening sequence highly misleading what with all those lascivious female lesbian vampires with blood dripping.Something must be lost in the translation of the word "Bloodsucker" from the Italian in the title; almost as if the producers were originally going to film a Gothic Vampire tale and then changed their minds but could not afford to give up their dramatic opening sequence, so tacked it onto the film anyway.

This film made in 1975 has recently been issued on DVD and comes with its own theatrical trailer which in some respects is more daring than seen in the film!Now anyone who buys this film has probably already read its synopsis anyway and knows what to expect - Italian softporn from the mid 1970s.I bought it because I am attracted to Christa Nelli (credited most often as "Krista Nell").The absence of a cast of characters I find most frustrating in a lot of these Eurosleaze films from the 60s & 70s.I had hoped Imdb would show the cast of characters as one hears their names in the film but without a cast list, it is very difficult to link them to the actor concerned.I think Krista Nell played "Cora" but underneath that massive hair style, costume and make-up it is difficult to distinguish her for sure.

There is mostly a two dimensional portrayal by the actors of their parts and no one really stands out.Maybe something is lost in the dubbing process.What were the positive points?Well the music was atmospheric and of course if you're into beautiful lesbian soft porn its there.The external locations used were good and I would like to know where they filmed the castle on its island.It purports to be set in "Ireland" (North or the Republic?)in 1902, so everyone sports period piece costumes.Some of the scenes I found unintentionally funny especially those sex scenes!!Anyway an enjoyable romp.I rated it 4/10.

The Beckett Affair (1966)

Poor Man's James Bond

[11 November 2003]

I never forgot the beautiful Italian actress Christa Nelli (billed here as Krista Nell) when I was 19 in 1965, when she appeared in the ATV tv series, episode one, of "Riviera Police".I even went to the newspaper & magazine library at Colindale in NW London a few years ago, to obtain a photostat of the 30/7/65 issue of TV Times where she appeared as the cover girl advertising the new crime series.

It wasn't until this wonderful web site appeared that I was able to track down other films in which she appeared, in this case "The Beckett Affair" (or affare Beckett L') from 1966.I was immediatly struck by the central character of Rod Cooper played by American, Lang Jeffries and how like Sean Connery he was in looks, intonation, manner and even body language.For once Krista plays a goody girl who works under cover for the cops and looks her ravishing best.The plot is a bit confused to start with but appears to be about a renegade colonel who wants to take over power in Panama hiring Rod Cooper in the belief he is a hit man so he will be able to "bump off" the incumbent president.

Undoubtedly the French & Italian producers were looking to James Bond for inspiration and you must therefore expect heavy dubbing of English from these authentic language soundtracks from most of the players, a bit like the Clint Eastwood's "spaghetti" westerns from the early 1970s.An American video company called, "Something Weird Video" seems to specialise in these European French films of the 1960s and produce their own catalogue where you can peruse these titles.Another I bought was, "Massacre pour une Orgie".This was pretty strong stuff in the mid 1960s but now seems rather innocuous to our 2003 eyes! The budget was certainly a fraction of what Harry Saltzman & Cubby Broccoli lavished on the Bond franchise.It certainly lacks the black humour we've come to expect of James but occasionally I enjoy watching something different from British/American films because of the different Continental direction and conception.I rated it 6/10.

Groundhog Day (1993)

Today is Yesterday's Tomorrow

[8/10 · 7 November 2003]

Before putting electronic pen to electronic paper, I carefully read through all other users' comments which are predominately highly favourable. I too must add my paen of praise.This is one of the funniest and most original of Hollywood films and a tour de force for Bill Murray - the perfect actor for the principal role of the tv weather man.The "Ghostbusters" connection works well with a very humourous and thought provoking script directed by Harold Ramis.The plot and main philosophical sentiments have aleady been adequately aired below, especially by our friend resident in China.All I will add is, "Amor Vincit Omnia".This film will appeal to succeeding generations as the truths and theme of the film are universal and timeless.

As I had a sudden urge to see this film one evening, I had to e-mail my son at Bristol University to ascertain its whereabouts in the house (as he is an avid collector of dvds and I am useless at looking for things).I had previously looked at the evening paper on the way home and I could see "nothing on" worth viewing on the multifarious terrestial and digital channels to which we subscribe.Bill Murray's dead-pan humour and sense of the ridiculous really appeals to me, especially the touch of irony that he imbues into his roles.I especially laughed when the cops stopped the car he has been driving with the two deadbeats and casually asks the officer for flapjacks while he is being booked for dangerous driving.Perhaps we can "forgive" the scriptwiters for a predicatable happy ending because we all want to feel good at its conclusion.

Music is something I especially pay attention to when viewing films and we have an admirable selection here which enhances the action in the major scenes, from classical - Variations on a theme by Paganini (I also detected Mozart), to contemporary jazz, to "pop", which will appeal to most musical tastes.

The mark of a good comedy should be, did it genuinely make you make you laugh? Most certainly It did.For another example of Bill Murray playing the "miserable old git" see "Scrooged", another heartwarming Christmas piece about redemption of the spirit (with aplogies to Charles Dickens).

Dishonored Lady (1947)

Hedy's Not Dishonoured

[6/10 · 22 October 2003]

When Hedy Lamarr made this film she was 34 and her Viennese accent and sophisticated European poise were evident in this film where she plays the art editor of a posh New York magazine.Her rather promiscous personality on screen (allowing for what was allowed by 1940's censors) and her rather stentorian personality to her subordinates at work gave her a rather sadistic quality which I found not unattractive!!

It seems the job is stressing her out and although brilliant at what she does, she does not like what she has become.She decides to have a complete break and adopts another persona and live elsewhere.Her rich boyfriend (one of her real life husbands - John Loder) tracks her down and complicates her life when she poses as an artist in a flat above a scientist (Dennis O'Keefe)in a modest block run by a landlady - the unmistakeable actress who plays the wicked witch from "The Wizard of Oz" (1939)!!

I will not provide a spoiler but a murder is committed and Hedy is accused.Examined in the film is the power of love and belief in that person when all the evidence points against them.Hedy's supporting cast are only adequate as this film evidently could only support one star.I am not familiar with the director Robert Stevenson. Certainly he is not of the first order but ...adequate, a bit like the film.My motive to own the DVD was to see the mature Hedy Lamarr after seeing her as a 20 year old in "Exctase"(1933).She comes over as rather enigmatic, even when she resolves her love with Dr. David S. Cousins her fiancee.

I still enjoyed this thriller from 1947 mainly because of the awesome beauty of its principal actress.As a film I would rate it generally at 6/10.

The 75th Annual Academy Awards (2003 TV Special)

Jennifer Jones Makes Rare Appearance

[15 October 2003]

The actually ceremony has already been effectivly reported on by my esteemed colleagues below, so I will retrict this to why I watched.One of the previous reviewers obviously likes Olivia de Havilland but is wrong saying she is the only one still alive after 59 years.There was an actress, revealed in the group portrait, who won in the 1930's and is the oldest winning Oscar survivor but I cannot remember her name.For me this group portrait is more entertaining than listening to all and sundry saying "Thankyou" all evening.

My particular favourite is Jennifer Jones, who won best actress for "Song of Bernadette "(1943) in the 1944 ceremony.I have watched and own videos of every one of her movies from 1939-1974 and have taped most of her screened personal appearances since then.Film fans know she makes very rare public appearances so any glimpse is to be treasured.I have photos of her from age 2 until her present age 84 from her available biographies, memoirs of her and from contemporary magazines etc.I also make regular contributions to her tribute web site.Long may she live!!

A Matter of Life and Death (1946)

The Archers' Greatest Film

[8/10 · 14 October 2003]

I watched the film tonight for the nth time known to us in the U.K. as, "A Matter of Life & Death" and in the U.S.A as, "Stairway to Heaven".I feel I must add my eulogy to the litany of praise that has gone before by my esteemed colleagues and as my own tribute to the late Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger who produced this the Archers' greatest film.I had previously read MP's autobiography, "A Life in Movies" (1986) to understand more about this imaginative producer and director.

Conceived as a film during WWII to help improve Anglo-American relations, it poses many philosophical questions to the viewer.The very justification of Britain's colonial past is examined during the celestial trial but it's central tenet is that whereas love is the most powerful force on Earth, in the heavens it is the law of the Universe which governs all things.How can the viewer not fall a bit in love with our beautiful American WAC controller, June (Kim Hunter), as she instinctivly feels the power of love for Sqn. Ldr. Peter Carter (David Niven) from the time she first hears his hopeless speech on air from the burning cockpit of his Lancaster before he falls to Earth without a parachute, to her absolute willingness to prove her love for him (and to the jury), by stepping onto the "Stairway to Heaven" during the trial.She will provide the Hereafter with an acceptable substitute to make up for Peter's missing soul which should have been delivered by the French conducter, (Marius Goring) into the celestial account book, but due to English fog, could not be traced for 20 hours by which time his life had radically changed.

This seems to indicate that throughout our lives, our destiny is being constantly changed by our relationships with the people we meet here on Earth and by circumstance.I was a bit surprised that colour was not used in the Hereafter scenes and B&W on Earth rather than vice-versa.However since most of the action takes place on Earth, we would have missed out on the lush "Technicolor" sequences.As a strong amateur chess player, I do own Dr. Alexander Alekhine's, "My Best Games of Chess 1924-1937" borrowed by the French conductor.Alekhine who was Russian by birth, became world champion in 1927 in Buenos Aires when he defeated the previously invincible Cuban, Jose Raoul Capablanca y Graupera in a titanic struggle.Alekhine died undefeated in Lisbon, Portugal in 1946 and this was the same year the film was produced.Incidentally Andre Danican Philidor, French by birth (1726-1795) and mentioned by the French conductor, was probably the strongest player of his day.

This film was produced before computer cloning was invented for large crowd scenes (e.g. "Gladiator") and the number of extras used in the trial scene takes your breath away as they are revealed rank upon rank as the camera recedes back into a wide angle shot.Indeed the scope of the film embraces Astronomy, Politics, Philosophy, Theology, Medical Science and Poetry amongst other disciplines.The staircase scene should have taken the Oscar for "Most Imaginative Set" as it transports the viewer to a place where time stands still in space.This unique film was written, directed and produced by Powell & Pressburger.You will want to see some of their other collaberations after this offering.I can recommend "Gone To Earth" and "The Red Shoes" both from this era.

I rated it 8/10.

Titanic (1996)

A Poor Substitute

[4/10 · 10 October 2003]

I feel like a defence lawyer who has been hired to defend an impossible case because despite what I wrote below, I bought a copy of this video as part of my extensive film, book and media "Titanic" collection.Where do I begin?Well, let me first list the failings of this TV mini-series:

1.As stated by other reviewers below, this was an ill-judged subject on the tv budget available.It would have required an enormous amount if one wished to do it justice and was obviously outside the scope of the money available.Even so, a lot was spent but the special effects look phoney now and ineffective.

2.Once again the scale of the ship made on set is far too small, see my critique of "SOS Titanic" (1979) another tv disaster of this ilk.Even Cameron made "Titanic" at about 70% of the real size for his cinema version the following year.

3.Must we endure these sloppy unconvincing fictional love stories wrapped up with the actual facts?."Titanic"(1953) and Cameron's (1997) both had them.At least "A Night to Remember (1958) had two low key lovers on their honeymoon.We all know why film producers have them, - to amuse those not interested in history or the actual facts and so rope them into the cinemas or video shops.I found Catherine Zeta Jones' character irritating as she prepared to renounce her lovely daughter for some ex-boyfriend and go galavanting off to Bolivia with him.She certainly changed her tune when she landed safely in New York and discovered her husband had not received the cablegram stating she was leaving him.

4.Must we endure grating American accents portraying British officers?This is a point I have made here before e.g. (see "Love Letters (1945)).There is always a great pool of authentic British acting talent available for these roles!!

5.Lazy research.How different from the late Walter Lord in his famous work "A Night to Remember (1955)".This was the product of the extensive research he did in his own time while working as an advertising copywriter in New York.See my critique "A Tribute to Walter" in the film mentioned before.A few examples will suffice.Titanic is seen to leave Southampton with her starboard side nearest to the dock whereas it was actually the port side.Anyone could have gleaned this from the easily available photos showing "Titanic" moored at the "Ocean dock" Southampton.One in particular is famous (taken 10th April 1912 on Good Friday) with flags bedecking her from stem to stern.The captain is seen to be holding the ship's wheel.Never!!This was the job of the coxain e.g. Robert Hichens who incidentally was notionally in charge of the same lifeboat as Molly Brown.No passengers would have been allowed on the bridge and certainly not allowed to turn the ship's wheel!!Ridiculous!!

6.There was no evidence this was Captain Smith's last voyage - only speculation and Ismay did not descend to the boiler room ordering more boilers be lit.The only documeneted fact is that Mrs Candee claimed she was in the 1st class lounge drinking a beverage with a friend and thought she heard, at an adjoining table, Ismay request Capt. Smith to better the "Olympic's" maiden voyage time if possible.

7.None of the music heard was easily recognised from the White Star music list.Each song and tune had a number which the ship's band had to know by heart.At least we were spared "another rendition of, "Nearer my God to Thee" which is itself debatable as the last song heard as the ship took her final plunge.

8.The rape scene as mentioned by my learned colleagues below was completely unnecessary to the plot and highly unlikely even in this fiction.

9.The reason the lookouts did not have binoculars was because they had been removed at Southampton.The water-tight doors were closed before, not after the collision.It was Thomas Andrews, not Capt. Smith. who explained the ship's architectural drawings and the effect of the inrush of seawater to the officers, I could go on but I'm boring myself.

10.Again I stress.When will film producers listen to the experts when dealing with actual historic matters and not carry on with their own stupid agenda?It is also an insult to that army of clued up intelligent viewers who also know the facts having read the official testimony, books and evidence etc.We have had this before when a recent film claimed it was an American submarine who captured the German "Enigma" codes in WWII and I was aghast to hear recently that there is soon to be a film starring Tom Cruise who passes himself off as a hotshot WWII fighter pilot who wins the Battle of Britain in 1940 virtually single-handed!!.Hollywood agenda again - urgh!!

Now to the film's good points.Are there any? I always hope I will learn something new from a film like this which deals with actual historical facts but sadly I was deliberately mis-informed.It can only therefore be judged as a work of fiction to entertain a less discerning audience.On that basis it was average.The final denouement of the ship sinking was portrayed as a rapid pastiche of overlaid images, a neat way of avoiding having to go to the expense of actually "sinking" the Titanic!

I rated it 4/10 on entertainment value alone.