jennifer_litchfield Reviews

The Cat's Meow (2001)

Star rating: 3 out of 5

[6/10 · 13 January 2005]

The Cat's Meow offers an insight into what may (or may not) have occurred during a fateful pleasure cruise aboard media mogul William Randolph Hearst's yacht in 1924. One guest didn't survive the trip, and afterwards the other passengers only ever talked about what happened during those few days in riddles. The film is at pains to point out that it only depicts one possible version of events, which unfortunately does rather undermine the convincing storyline.

The story begins in Hollywood, "a land just off the coast of the planet earth", in that decadent decade dominated by the Charleston, flappers, and bootleg moonshine. The women's costumes are thus visually spectacular – all satin and feathers – but some of the actors seem to be overwhelmed by the splendour, and appear somewhat wooden as a result. The notable exception to this is Kirsten Dunst, who plays the effervescent Marion Davies, Hearst's mistress. However, the best lines in the film surely belong to the wonderfully cynical and sarcastic Joanna Lumley.

The thing the movie does capture to perfection is the double standards extant in Hollywood. One of the characters disdainfully dismisses the Prohibition, claiming that alcohol isn't illegal "for us". And that seems to pretty much sum up the attitude of the film fraternity at the time – that they are above rules and regulations. Even murder, it would seem, can be hushed up.

This isn't a murder mystery as such; anyone with a thorough knowledge of Hollywood history will know who died, and the whispers surrounding the event. But the average viewer may question if, after all this time, they really care what the truth is. Better instead to enjoy this film as a fiction.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Star rating: 4 out of 5

[8/10 · 25 July 2004]

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers is a worthy sequel to the outstanding The Fellowship of the Ring. It is much darker than its predecessor in both mood and in the very coloration of the film itself. The initial scenes as the audience falls through the inky blackness of the mines of Moria, following the epic duel between Gandalf and the inferno that is the Balrog, sets the tone for the rest of the film.

The Fellowship of the first film has splintered into three groups – Merry and Pippin have been captured by Uruk-hai, and are now being tracked by Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli. Frodo and Sam are slowly edging nearer to the fires of Mount Doom in Mordor where they can destroy the terrible burden that is the ring. In their quest they are aided by the wonderfully dichotomous character that is Gollum/Smeagol. And The Two Towers really is Gollum's film. He is a triumph of digital wizardry that the audience will both loathe and wish redemption for.

The other major computer-generated characters – Treebeard and his ilk – are perhaps not so successfully believable; although few viewers could fail to be moved by the `last march of the Ents'. The settings are simply stunning; both the natural scenery of windswept plains and craggy mountains, and the built sets, such as the Kingdom of Rohan that echoes the Viking settlements of old.

At the conclusion of the Battle of Helm's Deep, where (despite being a supposedly purpose-bred fighting force) the Uruk-hai are massacred by a handful of men, Gandalf prophesies that `the battle for Middle Earth is about to begin'. The audience is left to ponder what further horrors, heartbreaks and triumphs are in store for the adventurers.

Cold Comfort Farm (1995 TV Movie)

Star rating: 4 out of 5

[8/10 · 1 April 2004]

Cold Comfort Farm is a jolly film that bounces along as merrily as its theme tune. It's a rollicking good comedy with a laugh-out-loud collection of Dickensian characters (the doom-stricken Starkadders, the rustic Adam Lambsbreath, and the upper crust Hawk-Monitors). Certainly the film is very over-the-top and silly, but it's light-hearted fun - a welcome alternative to the glut of psychological, heart-wrenching, blood-and-guts fare on the market.

The Starkadders live on the bleak acres of Cold Comfort Farm, where "the cows are barren and the sows are farren". Into this gloomy and eccentric setting comes young, 1930s-modern Flora Poste, who sets to winning the hearts and minds of Cold Comfort's inhabitants, and dragging the Starkadders into the twentieth century. Along the way she manages to rearrange and enliven her own life too.

Kate Beckinsale (prior to her arrival on the scene of big-budget American flicks) is a likeable and chirpy young lady with a talent for organisation. In the supporting roles, Joanna Lumley is delightfully sarcastic as Flora's incongruously named aunt, Mary Smiling, who has a rather unusual hobby. And Ian McKellen is a real scene-stealer as the fire-and-brimstone preacher of the Church of the Quivering Brethren.

The plot revolves around Great Aunt Ada Doom and the 'narsty' thing she saw in the woodshed nigh on 70 years ago. There is also the mysterious wrong perpetrated on Flora's father by the Starkadders sometime in the dim and misty past. So it is a tad frustrating that the audience is never let in on either of these secrets! But these are minor quibbles in what is otherwise an excellent comedic romp, with some interesting and atmospheric cinematography. A very good (and very British) laugh.

Johnny English (2003)

Star rating: 2 out of 5

[3/10 · 11 March 2004]

Johnny English is a tired comedy, with stale and predictable gags. Consider the following example of outrageously unfunny verbal wit: "I think I'd rather have my bottom impaled on a giant cactus than exchange pleasantries with that jumped up Frenchman," says Johnny, unknowing that the 'jumped up Frenchman' is standing right behind him. It doesn't even raise the ghost of a smile. Rowan Atkinson should resign himself to the fact that his metier is as the silent Mr. Bean.

The film begins well enough, with an amusing daydream sequence, where Johnny English - pen-pusher at M17 (comic cousin of Britain's M16 spy agency) fantasises about his dangerous, dashing life if he were the notoriously brilliant Agent One. When Agent One, and the entire M17 spy corps are killed - through English's blunders - his dream becomes reality. It is up to him to save England from the machinations of a megalomaniac Frenchman, who wishes to claim the British throne and turn the country into a massive prison.

With a plot and characters like these, there is obviously the potential for Johnny English to be a humorous Bond-spoof, but the potential remains largely inactivated. There are occasional moments of genuine mirth, such as a hearse being chased by a tow truck, and the subsequent scene in the graveyard, but these are few and far between. The jokes are signposted a mile off, and include juvenile toilet humour. One does get the impression the scriptwriters were rather low on inspiration and in the resultant morass, one joke is even utilised twice. Ironically, the funniest moment of the movie is tacked on part way through the end credits, by which time most of the audience will have switched off in disappointment.

Saving Grace (2000)

Star rating: 2 out of 5

[4/10 · 15 February 2004]

Saving Grace is surely one of the leading contenders for the 'How to Ruin an Adequate Film in the Final Few Minutes' award. Naturally if you mix a quaint Cornish village - largely populated by retired genteel ladies - with a liberal dose of marijuana, a certain amount of silliness will ensue. However, the last seven minutes of the film descend into the totally ludicrous and is not even redeemed by being particularly funny. It is a real shame, because this comedy has the potential to be every bit as good as 1998's Waking Ned Devine, which also portrayed a picturesque small village and its oddball inhabitants trying to extract themselves from a tricky situation.

The protagonist of Saving Grace is middle-aged, recently widowed Grace Trevethyn, whose husband's legacy of bad debts has forced her into an unconventional way of earning money. Helped by her gardener, Matthew, she turns her horticultural expertise to the lucrative cultivation of marijuana. Unfortunately, this leads her into confrontation with the local police, her husband's creditors and a French drug baron. . . . . . . . . . whom all turn up at her greenhouse simultaneously. The relationship and rapport between Grace and Matthew is well-portrayed, and Brenda Blethyn gets the viewer emotionally involved with her likeable character - you can really feel what she is going through.

The casting of the minor roles is excellent, even if some of them are rather outlandishly eccentric. However, the transformation of Jacques the drug lord into Grace's romantic interest is highly implausible and does not fit the tone of the movie at all. And surely hydroponics is not such a revolution in the world of cannabis growing? Sadly the film swaps gentle humour for slapstick and ends up being as fake as the marijuana plants.

Finding Nemo (2003)

Star rating: 5 out of 5

[9/10 · 31 January 2004]

Finding Nemo is, quite simply, brilliant. Computer animation has come on in leaps and bounds since the days of Toy Story (1995) and Finding Nemo stunningly attests to this. From the vibrantly coloured and gently undulating coral on the reef, to the murky depths of Sydney harbour, to the clever use of reflection and refraction off the fish tank, this is a film in which the constantly changing scenery is a large part of its attraction. The original and well-judged score enhances the viewer's sense of wonder and their empathy with the characters.

But computer wizardry alone cannot create a great film. Finding Nemo is also blessed with an action-packed story and lots of laughs (largely courtesy of Dory - a well-meaning blue tang fish with short-term memory loss). Nemo is a young clown fish, eager to test his boundaries, who is caught by a diver and taken to an aquarium in Sydney. Whilst there, he makes friends with a motley collection of aquatic creatures who help him plot his escape. Meanwhile, his over-protective father, Marlin, begins a frantic quest to find his son. Along the way he is helped and hindered by three new-age sharks, some bodacious-dude turtles, a whale, and a monstrous angler fish (amongst others).

And yes, the ending may be a little mushy, but after such an epic adventure, the viewer will find the sentimentality relatively easy to stomach. Indeed, the character development is surprisingly deep for a children's movie, and it's a nice change to have not every character being entirely good or bad. Parents in the audience will certainly identify with Marlin's dilemma of wanting to protect his child, and yet coming to realise that the time comes when one has to let go a little.

Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War (2002)

Star rating: 3 out of 5

[6/10 · 9 January 2004]

Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War didn't reap the acclaim and appreciation it deserved upon its cinematic release, which is a shame because it is an enjoyable and comfortable comedy, but it also touches some raw nerves over the treatment of our senior citizens. Even though many audiences will not be able to identify with the aged protagonists, it doesn't take very long before the viewer is rooting for the 'Wrinkly Revolution', as the oldies thumb their noses at the mean-spirited authorities.

The leader of the backlash is Thelma Caldicot - a downtrodden housewife who is prematurely dumped in a retirement home by her money-hungry son and daughter-in-law. 'Twilight Years' is run by an obsequious manager and an iron-fisted matron, whose goals are to keep the profits rolling in, and the patients doped up and stuffed full of boiled cabbage. Thelma rebels against this and rallies the rest home residents into a large-scale escape, which becomes national news.

There are some lovely character roles; in particular the totally over-the-top rest home management duo, who well deserve whatever just desserts befall them. But was it really necessary to give them a sex scene? Additionally, the love interest for Thelma seems a trifle contrived, and doesn't add to the story at all. Where the narrative really works is when it questions our perceptions of what "old" and "past it" really mean, and that the uncomfortable and embarrassing truth is that it is easier to stuff elderly and confused people full of tranquilisers than it is to genuinely help them. Unfortunately, many of these moving scenes are marred by the overly sentimental score. The bouncy theme tune however is perfect for an occasionally outrageous, very funny, very British comedy that will leave the viewer with a pleasant and upbeat aftertaste.

Election (1999)

Star rating: 3 out of 5

[5/10 · 28 December 2003]

Election is a very difficult movie to classify and review. With staple actors from the teen pulp genre, like Reese Witherspoon and Chris Klein, it would be easy to write it off as merely another school holiday flick. However, the issues dealt with include sexual relationships between teacher and student, and marital infidelity; subjects more suited to adult fare.

The story is centred around an ambitious and perfect student (Witherspoon), and the teacher (a woefully miscast Matthew Broderick - stick to the slapstick, buddy) who decides to meddle with destiny and stop the rise and rise of Tracy Flick. His solution? To persuade another, more popular student to run against Tracy in the all-important election for student president. What he doesn't foresee is how the election will change his own life forever.

It is a comedy that works very well in some places. Never again will one be able to consider a cupcake, without thinking of the 280 "Pick Flick" personalised cupcakes. And the collection of sports jocks, nerds and sundry other students, whilst highly stereotypical, are good for a few laughs. It is when the movie *tries* to be funny that it fails. A bit of special-effects make-up slapped on to resemble a bee-stung eyelid isn't all that amusing, and seems out of character with the rest of the film. Another notable aspect is the voiceovers done by the characters. These are funny and very clever, in that the viewer gets a lot more by reading between the lines, than taking what is said at face value.

Election is certainly worth a watch on an idle Saturday afternoon. But don't be surprised if, at the end, you are unable to decide if you enjoyed it or not.

Waking Ned Devine (1998)

Star rating: 4 out of 5

[8/10 · 20 December 2003]

Waking Ned Devine is one of those charming and funny movies that you just can't help liking. Surely everyone has pondered on what life would be like if one won the lottery. . . . . . . . . . In the quaint Irish town of Tullymore, an elderly pair of jokers, Jackie and Michael, discover that one of the villagers has won the National Lottery's First Division. There's a problem though - the villager in question is dead. And so Jackie and Michael embark on an increasingly complicated scheme to convince the lottery scrutineers that Ned Devine is in fact still alive and well, and eligible to claim the £7 million winnings.

It's a refreshing change to watch a comedy where the protagonists are largely - to put it bluntly - old. The late Ian Bannen and David Kelly turn in marvelous performances as the irascible duo. Not only do they manage to create and capture the humour of the film, they also touchingly portray the affection each character has for the other.

But it is its own unique brand of humour for which Waking Ned Devine will most likely be remembered. The motley collection of villagers should raise a few chuckles, and the sight of a naked scrawny old man tearing along the Irish byroads on a motorbike will leave the viewer in stitches. However, the rather macabre method of dispatch dealt to the story's 'villain', while it is funny at the time, doesn't bear thinking about too closely.

Interestingly, the movie was filmed in the Isle of Man, rather than Ireland; nevertheless, the scenery is beautiful, and is complemented by some stirring Irish music (although this is a little loud in comparison with the dialogue). Overall though, this is a great film to watch to unwind a little.

The Mists of Avalon (2001)

Star rating: 2 out of 5

[4/10 · 13 December 2003]

The Mists of Avalon is a good story that unfortunately fails to work. At 183 minutes, it is too long, and yet the viewer is introduced to the large number of integral characters at a dizzying pace. It surely would have worked better had it been released as two movies, and the storyline slowed down somewhat.

Having said that though, the storyline is certainly exciting and involving. It is the story of the Court of Camelot and its ties to the mystic isle of Avalon, as recounted by the oft-maligned Morgaine Le Fay. It is set in ye olde Britain, where Christianity is gaining ascendancy over the ancient druid religion. In an increasingly desperate effort to keep the old ways alive, Viviane - the Lady of the Lake - shapes the destinies of Morgaine, Arthur, Gwenwyfar, Lancelot and the other familiar characters. But some of them begin to rebel at being moved around like pieces on a game board.

Why, in such a quintessential British story, were so many American actors used? They either speak painfully slowly in their attempts to sound English, or they use dreadful faux-British accents that frequently slip. And while Angelica Huston's accent is admirable, she is too strident and not ethereal enough as the Lady of the Lake. The thoroughly evil Mordred acts entirely with his eyebrows, and there are some abysmal performances in the minor roles.

Such a lavish production deserves better. The sets, scenery, and costumes are visually spectacular, but there are too many annoyances to distract the viewer. The 'mists' of the title are created through an overindulgence in smoke machines, and perhaps this is symbolic of the fact that in the wrong hands, a good story can become a bad film.

The Crucible (1996)

Star rating: 3 out of 5

[6/10 · 3 December 2003]

The Crucible is gripping, yet it is also frightening and terrible in the inexorable march of its protagonists towards their doom. The story is based on Arthur Miller's rendition of the infamous 1692 Salem witch trials. In this Puritan town, a group of girls are caught dancing and love-spell casting in the woods. To save themselves from being whipped, they claim it was the Devil's doing and furthermore that some of Salem's residents are compacted with Lucifer. But private vengeance is also at work here. The girls' ringleader, Abigail Williams (Winona Ryder) is obsessed with a local farmer (Daniel Day-Lewis) and will stop at nothing to get him for herself. Then the court investigating the claims of witchery begins to proscribe hanging for those who won't 'confess'. . . . . . . . ..

It is unfortunate then, that a movie such as this is marred by several flaws. While it vividly and unnervingly portrays the transformation of a community into warring factions, and ultimately the disintegration into mob-mentality and mass hysteria, it also seems very stagey. You can almost see the notations in the film script - "crowd murmurs in agreement", and so on. Additionally, Day-Lewis, and particularly Ryder, play the entire film at full volume. Thus, several integral speeches get lost in the blast. However, there are some excellent performances from those in the court scenes - the steely remorselessness of Judge Danforth and the pompous and insidious questioning of Judge Hathorne. Fortunately director Nicholas Hytner has moved as much of the action as possible out of doors, which is just as well, for Puritan dwellings are no great objects of beauty.

However, despite its shortcomings and largely unadventurous cinematography, The Crucible is a film that will remain with the viewer long after its dramatic and memorable conclusion. Even in death there is triumph and redemption.

The Others (2001)

Star rating: 5 out of 5

[9/10 · 23 November 2003]

The Others is a riveting and darkly menacing thriller, yet, during the course of the film, not a drop of blood is shed and no one dies. It is a reflection on the talent of director Alejandro Amenabar that small things, like a door slamming shut in one's face or a ghostly hand upon one's cheek are far more frightening than any amount of special effects that films in this genre are increasingly becoming reliant upon. A sense of claustrophobia is introduced from the outset by the thick fog surrounding the house in which most of the action takes place, and also by the permanently closed curtains and doors that prevent sunlight from brightening the rooms.

In this house the light must always be contained, because the two young children (who live there with their mother) are photosensitive, and exposure to daylight will make them very ill. But it would seem that the family and their three somewhat mysterious servants are not the only inhabitants of the darkened house. Footsteps are heard, doors are opened, curtains are removed, but search as they may, nobody can find the perpetrators of these actions. And it would seem that whatever these beings are, they bear an ever-increasing amount of malevolent ill will towards the family.

The film's conclusion is unexpected, even for those viewers who have managed to second-guess an earlier plot twist prior to its revelation. The surprise factor is at least partly due to the outstanding performances by the cast; special mention must be made of Alakina Mann, who is a young actress with a very bright future. This film is an example of outstanding cinematic production, and to maximise its impact, it is best watched in a darkened room.

Amélie (2001)

Star rating: 3 out of 5

[6/10 · 26 July 2003]

Amelie is an extraordinary film, and this makes the ordinariness of its conclusion profoundly unsatisfying. Throughout the movie (known as Le Fabuleux destin d'Amelie Poulain in its country of origin, France) the characters are presented as delightfully quirky - Amelie enjoys running her hands through sackfuls of grain; her father likes lining up his shoes and polishing them; Nino keeps an album of photos discarded by their owners - so the ending, where Amelie and Nino leap into bed together, just as would happen in any other movie, is a huge letdown.

The premise is simple: one day Amelie Poulain finds a small box of 'treasures', which would appear to have been hidden by a small boy 40 years ago. She decides to return the box to its owner, and if he is appreciative she will continue in her quest to help those around her.

One of the strengths of the film is that - much like real life - nobody is 'normal'. As well as being introduced to characters, we are also shown their idiosyncrasies and history. However, Amelie's running time of over two hours feels too long and one gets the impression that director Jean-Pierre Jeunet has attempted to fit too much into what is a light-weight movie.

It is also very funny in places, notably when Amelie takes revenge on an intolerant neighbour. It is interesting how we can, after an interval of five years, look back on the death of Diana, Princess of Wales and recall with a wry smile how completely it consumed our attention at the time. Overall this is a charming and whimsical film (even if at times it is a little too aware of its quaintness), and certainly deserving of a more fitting finale.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

Star rating: 4 out of 5

[7/10 · 16 July 2003]

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is much darker and more insidious in nature than 2001's Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. This is not meant as a criticism; indeed, it is partly due to the undercurrent of menace, that this second filmic journey into the wizarding world surpasses its predecessor in terms of quality, enjoyment and heart-in-your-mouth scares. While it is funny and light-hearted in places, it doesn't gloss over the unpleasant aspects of life, and deals with racism in particular.

It is Harry's second year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but owing to a blocked up wizarding portal, a flying Ford Anglia, and a whomping willow, the beginning of the term is far from ideal. Then Harry begins to hear voices in the walls of the school; voices that no one else is aware of. It would seem that the fabled Chamber of Secrets has been opened, and that the horror residing within has been unleashed upon the students.

It is nice to see how the young actors have developed their roles, although Ron's (Rupert Grint) slightly overdone comedic style would perhaps be more suited to stage performance. The real stars of the film however, are not the actors, but the wonderful and intricately detailed sets. From Hogwarts' gothic cathedral, to the glorious muddle of the Weasley household (complete with self-washing dishes and self-knitting jumpers), to the grime and nastiness of Knockturn Alley, the built sets are far more impressive than the CGI wizardry. In particular, the Quidditch match takes far too long and isn't really all that exciting. Having said that though, the computer-animated outsize spider sequence will likely scare the socks off small children, and probably even some parents as well!

Scooby-Doo (2002)

Star rating: 2 out of 5

[3/10 · 7 July 2003]

Scooby-Doo is mercifully short - at only 83 minutes - which is probably the best thing that can be said about it. Whatever the director and producers were trying to achieve by bringing Hanna-Barbera's classic cartoon to life, it's fairly safe to say they failed. Despite excellent character interpretations by Matthew Lillard and Linda Cardellini as Shaggy and Velma, the fleshing out of the Mystery Inc. team is disappointingly shallow. As is the irritating mission of self-discovery and angst each character goes through before discovering that (surprise, surprise) teamwork is best.

The film could be forgiven many of its foibles if only it was rib-ticklingly hilarious. Unfortunately it suffers from trying to cater both to a young audience, and also to adults who fondly remember the cartoon from their childhood days. Rowan Atkinson is cringingly unfunny as the strange proprietor of Spooky Island amusement park, and surely even kids are by now impervious to fart and snot jokes. However, the sequence inside the spooky abandoned castle raises a few hearty chuckles.

The trademark unlikeliness of the situations Mystery Inc. got themselves into in the cartoon doesn't transfer well into realism. The plot, which has a number of large holes, concerns the mysterious change in behaviour of college students who are holidaying at the resort of Spooky Island. And, it has to be admitted, that thanks to some great sets and the wonders of CGI, the resort looks like a pretty cool place to spend a vacation. The construction of the theme park has awakened some ancient (and quite scary, considering the PG-rating) monsters, so it's up to the team to unmask the villain and save the world. But the best way of saving yourself is to avoid watching this movie.

Cruel Intentions (1999)

Star rating: 4 out of 5

[7/10 · 26 June 2003]

Cruel Intentions has been slammed by critics, who have unfairly and unfavourably compared it with 1989's Dangerous Liaisons (both films stem from Choderlos de Laclos's novel, Les Liaisons Dangereuses). Whereas Dangerous Liaisons is fairly faithful to the original, Cruel Intentions manipulates the plot - throwing a twist in the tail - and relocates the milieu from 18th century France to the present-day Upper East Side of New York, where underneath the veneer of respectability, wealthy teenagers plot each other's downfalls.

Stepsiblings Kathryn Merteuil and Sebastian Valmont are two such teenagers. They amuse themselves by arranging reputation-destroying paybacks for those who have wronged them, and make wagers on the outcome. The focus of the movie is Sebastian's attempt to make a conquest of the Headmaster's virginal daughter, Annette (who, in a heavy-handed attempt at symbolism, wears white throughout almost the entire film).

However, the movie certainly has some memorable high points, beginning at the very outset where the camera swoops fast and low over what appears to be a grassy park studded with rocks; only after the camera angles away does the viewer realise - with some discomfort - that the park is in fact a graveyard. The opening scenes also introduce the appealing and well-judged soundtrack, which includes artists as diverse as Placebo and Fatboy Slim. The Verve's song, Bittersweet Symphony, is an absolutely perfect 'just desserts' track at the film's conclusion.

These kids are incredibly nasty and vindictive, but owing to the verbosity of the script and the almost total lack of adult chaperones appearing on screen, it is difficult at times to remember that they are only teenagers. In the end though, perhaps we just like to see someone be very, very wicked and almost get away with it.

Ice Age (2002)

Star rating: 3 out of 5

[6/10 · 2 March 2003]

Ice Age is the next amusing chapter in the computer-animated family film genre. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say it is a rehash of the previous chapters. It is certainly a fun film, with witty word play and some exciting action sequences, including an ice-slide ride which every child (and probably most adults too) would love to try out. But one can't help feeling that the story is a little tired through previous overuse. A group of unlikely acquaintances - this time comprised of a mammoth, a sloth and a sabre-toothed tiger - set out on a quest to return the obligatory lost-but-cute child to his family.

The animation is adequate, but nowhere near the high standard set by Monsters, Inc. This is particularly noticeable with regards to the various animals' fur, which is disappointingly static. Additionally the background landscapes are very basic and the snow is somehow just too pristine. Having said that however, the film does have some nice attention to detail, such as the eye tic in Scrat - the acorn-obsessed and incredibly unlucky squirrel. The misadventures of Scrat are the best parts of the movie, and made more impressive by the fact that, as he doesn't speak a single word of dialogue, the humour is entirely visual.

There are also nice character touches evident in Manny the mammoth (who has amazingly emotive eyes), and a sequence in which a cave painting comes alive and depicts a tragic scene from his past is very effective. While an emotional sequence like this gives the movie a heart, its descent at the finale into saccharine sentimentality is somewhat cloying, but will probably satisfy the kids (and anyone else who requires a film to have a happy ending).

Grease 2 (1982)

Star rating: 2 out of 5

[3/10 · 22 February 2003]

Grease 2 is yet another sequel that completely fails to live up to its predecessor. Whereas 1978's Grease was fun and energetic, the word that springs to mind in association with Grease 2 is "forced". The director has tried to fit too much colour, too many plot elements, and too many (largely unfunny) humorous interludes into 115 minutes of film. These teenagers aren't just a little bit naughty and likeably rude, rather they are all-out hussies and juvenile delinquents.

The plot is a carbon copy of the original film. A foreign student enrolls at Rydell High, immediately develops a crush on the leader of the school's socially elite clique, and spends the rest of the movie trying to make themselves cool enough to be dateable material. One of the movie's few successes is the casting of Michelle Pfeiffer as the head of the Pink Ladies. She is both real and charismatic. Unfortunately the same can't be said of her opposite, Michael (Maxwell Caulfield), who never really gets into the feel of the film. Additionally, his voice is too light for his character, and at times he appears to have difficulty holding a tune.

Song-wise the best of the bunch are the first and last tracks (Back To School Again and We'll Be Together). They are catchy and snappily choreographed chorus numbers, worthy of inclusion in the Grease franchise. The rest of the soundtrack wavers between mediocre, appallingly sentimental and plain ridiculous. Whoever decided that a neat scenario for a song would be to have a biology class singing about the pollination of plants (with the mandatory sexual undertones of course) should have been fired on the spot. Don't sully your 'Grease experience' by watching this.

Grease (1978)

Star rating: 5 out of 5

[9/10 · 11 February 2003]

Grease is everything a musical film should be. It is a visual and aural feast that has captured the imaginations of audiences for over 25 years. Everything is larger than life and the action occurs amidst a riot of 1950s colour. Who cares if the cast is largely composed of 30-somethings playing teenagers? The key to Grease's success is not realism, but the enormous amount of infectious energy exuded by the cast.

This zest for life is particularly apparent in the lively and eminently sing-able chorus song-and-dance numbers. The tunes of retro party favourites such as 'Greased Lightning' and 'You're The One That I Want' will probably be familiar to many viewers, but lesser known songs, including the short and sarcastic 'Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee' and 'Beauty School Drop-Out' (with Frankie Avalon in the role of guardian angel) are also fun toe-tappers.

Musicals work best when, like Grease, they concentrate on the music rather than the plot; however, the story here is completely adequate. Sandy and Danny had a summer fling at the beach, but at school Danny has an image to uphold - which Sandy doesn't really fit - so their senior year at Rydell High is spent in a daze of "will-they-won't-they" teenage angst.

John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John set the screen alight as Danny and Sandy; there are some fabulous character roles in the "Pink Ladies" and "T-Birds" school cliques, and some very funny cameos - particularly the pairing of Principal McGee and Blanche the office lady. There are sexual innuendoes aplenty if you look hard enough, and despite the fact that the movie is set half a century ago, the viewer is led to conclude that teenagers have been, and will always be, teenagers.

Meet Joe Black (1998)

Star rating: 1 out of 5

[2/10 · 1 February 2003]

Meet Joe Black tries very hard to be a Significant Movie, but fails miserably. It certainly has many of the constituent parts of a classic film including a three-hour running time, a respected senior actor teamed with Hollywood heartthrobs, and an orchestral score. Unfortunately the music is also intrusive and overly sentimental, the film is at least an hour too long, and Claire Forlani irritatingly spends most of it in tears (although Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins are adequate in their roles).

Hopkins plays Bill Parrish, a media mogul squillionaire whom everybody loves. We are expected to believe this without question, despite the fact that he is irritable, insensitive and patronisingly patriarchal towards his daughters. The hands of fate have decreed that it is Bill's time to die, but over the millennia Death has become curious about the ways of people and offers Bill a bargain. In return for a guided tour of the thing we know as life, Bill will be allowed to continue living for an unspecified length of time. Of course Bill has a beautiful daughter (so Death can fall in love), a Machiavellian business partner (so Death can prove that he is really a good guy), and assorted family crises which provide the fodder for seemingly endless poignant glances.

Perhaps the only thing that the film gets right is the sensual undressing sequence, with Pitt and Forlani proving that incredibly slow is also incredibly sexy. That however, is the one bright point in a movie that waffles along towards its drawn out and saccharine conclusion. And as far as conclusions go, it's pretty lame. Don't watch this - you've got better things to do with your life.

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

Star rating: 3 out of 5

[6/10 · 20 January 2003]

Four Weddings and a Funeral is an extremely funny film. If the opening sequence doesn't make you laugh, nothing will. And conversely, if Matthew's moving rendition of W. H. Auden's "Stop all the clocks. . ." poem doesn't leave you close to tears, then you must be truly hard-hearted. Unfortunately though, what could have been an excellent comedy has a major flaw.

Charles (Hugh Grant) is a likeable chap whose friends are all getting married, leaving him as a sort of perpetual Best Man. Then American Carrie (Andie MacDowell) enters the picture and causes Charles to reassess his thoughts on marriage. Grant has charisma in spades, but sadly MacDowell does not. In fact, she is perhaps one of the least charismatic actresses ever. Not only that, but the limit of her acting ability seems to be a toothpaste-advertisement-style smile. Fortunately the casting of Charles's motley collection of single friends is excellent, and one can't help thinking he would be better off marrying one of them.

The film is almost fly-on-the-wall in its style, which gives it realism and allows it to explore the relationships within the group of friends on an intimate and everyday level. Hence the subtle humour works better than, for example, Rowan Atkinson's very obvious laugh-line attempts as a preacher with a penchant for Spoonerisms.

As one character notes, weddings have a habit of blending together in the memory and the director has played on this, creating four weddings that are visually similar and yet distinct. And of one of them is particularly memorable for the fact that it doesn't actually include a marriage ceremony. At its conclusion the film shows that whilst marriage is a noble institution, it is not for everybody.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Star rating: 5 out of 5

[10/10 · 17 January 2003]

The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring, is triumphant proof that despite frequent evidence to the contrary, it is possible to adapt excellent books into equally excellent films. Of course, at the heart of any good film is a good story, and this is provided par excellence by J. R. R. Tolkien.

In a time before recorded history, the peaceful inhabitants of Middle-earth are threatened by the reappearance of a long-lost ring, in which resides the life force of the evil Dark Lord Sauron. Seemingly by chance the ring comes to young hobbit Frodo Baggins who must destroy it by throwing it back into the fires from whence it was forged. In his quest he is joined by a wizard, two men, a dwarf, an elf and three hobbits - representatives of the free people of Middle-earth - whom together form the titular fellowship.

This film is monumental in scale, but it is director Peter Jackson's attention to detail and the all-important (and sadly oft-forgotten) humanity involved that really makes it a masterpiece. Although the black faceless ringwraiths, the orc and goblin hordes, and the claustrophobic darkness of the mines of Moria are certainly frightening, the moment when the viewer truly realises the insidious evil of the ring is when kindly bumbling Uncle Bilbo Baggins becomes (for a split second only) a raving demon in its presence.

The outstanding cast has made it easy to become involved with the characters and the computer graphics wizardry of Isengard and Rivendell, et. al., is astonishing and almost seamless. Ultimately, any film which, after almost three hours, can leave a viewer exclaiming "No! It can't end there! I want to see what happens next!" is well worth watching. Roll on the sequel!

The Full Monty (1997)

Star rating: 4 out of 5

[8/10 · 17 January 2003]

The Full Monty is a "right good laff" (to borrow the parlance of its protagonists). Although the dialect may occasionally bewilder viewers unused to north-England speech, the humour doesn't need any translation. Gaz is down on his luck and is possessed of an endless supply of far-fetched money-making schemes. Inspired with a visit by the renowned Chippendale male strip-show artists to his hometown of Sheffield, and impressed at the huge amounts of money they make by seemingly just taking off their clothes and prancing around a bit, Gaz decides this is his ticket to some fast cash.

Part of the reason this film is likeable is that humour and realism go hand in hand. From the depressing backdrop of an industrial town with high unemployment, Gaz manages to cobble together a troupe of six unlikely strippers, including a suicidal security worker, a man with a dodgy hip, and a well-endowed bathroom repairman. These guys aren't super-studs, they're just ordinary blokes who are willing to give it a shot, and maybe, just maybe, get rich.

The film begins with Gaz and his friend Dave becoming marooned on a partially submerged car in the middle of a canal (the unanticipated result of one Gaz's plans), and the originality of the comedy continues throughout. So fresh is the humour, that the occasional moments when it sinks to the level of slapstick and cliché, disrupt the natural feel of the movie. The funniest sequences involve the self-titled 'Hot Metal' strippers - who have trouble comprehending dance moves unless they're related to positioning on a soccer field - attempting to master the strip-tease bump and grind (accompanied by a fabulous soundtrack of retro tunes, including Donna Summer and Hot Chocolate).

Twister (I) (1996)

Star rating: 3 out of 5

[5/10 · 17 January 2003]

Twister has a worthy premise, some thrilling action sequences, and a great deal of potential, yet disappointingly is a film that adds up to less than the sum of its parts. Tornadoes cut swathes of devastation through mid-USA every year and television audiences the world over are shocked and yet strangely titillated by the resulting newsreel footage. So as a film following a group of (fictional) storm chasers as they attempt to scientifically measure a tornado from the inside (with a view to improving the warning systems), Twister has all the ingredients of an extraordinary viewing experience. It is certainly fast-paced and exciting, but also regrettably formulaic.

Cliches abound - cute dogs saved from imminent peril; chaser crews composed of stereotypical weirdo science nerds; a daring rescue from a destroyed house seconds before it collapses; some unexorcised trauma about a father's death-by-tornado; Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt cheating death innumerable times, even as the bad guys (rival tornado chasers) succumb. . . . . . . . ..

The special effects are what save this film from mediocrity. The tornadoes are frighteningly real and the debris showers (including a cow and a petrol tanker) will have audiences ducking for cover. And unlike many disaster films that seem to drag as they build to a climax, the tornadoes in Twister appear right from the word go. Bizarrely the soundtrack to the tornadoes was made by dubbing a camel's groan and slowing it down - resulting in some rather odd sounding twisters. By the time the camel is finally silenced and the story reaches its predictable conclusion, the cliches and improbabilities threaten to overwhelm, and the film ultimately fails to completely satisfy.

Thelma & Louise (1991)

Star rating: 5 out of 5

[10/10 · 17 January 2003]

Thelma & Louise is one of those unfortunately all too rare movie gems which really engages the viewer. Watch it with a good friend and you'll find yourselves energised by the zest for life displayed by Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon in their stand out performances. Like Thelma and Louise, you'll want to ditch your jobs for the weekend and beg, borrow or steal a classic convertible car, before setting off on a road trip adventure along the USA's dusty mid-western highways.

The premise of the film is simple - put two ordinary people in an extraordinary situation and watch what happens as events start to snowball. Davis's bored housewife and Sarandon's diner-waitress are typical of thousands of women the world over. A chance encounter on the way to a run-of-the-mill weekend holiday in the mountains starts a chain of happenstance that thrusts the two friends into a situation where there are no signposts and no rules.

Thelma & Louise is often classified as a 'chick flick', but this is perhaps somewhat misleading. Certainly it is true that this is a film about two women, and the men in the story are shown as ineffectual or lacking in understanding (although watch for an entertaining appearance by Brad Pitt which is regarded as his breakthrough role). However one of the main themes dealt with is the emotive and perennially grey area surrounding attempted rape and how the reporting of it is dealt with - this is clearly not the fluff and insubstantiality usually associated with chick flicks. However, despite this and despite the outcome of the film (which on one level could be viewed as tragic), the brilliant and insightful cinematography of Ridley Scott leaves the viewer upbeat and with a tremendous sense of freedom.