ziquemu Reviews

Arsène Lupin (2004)

Dude, WTF?

[4/10 · 28 March 2005]

... or whatever the French equivalent would be ("mec, que est-ce qu'ils ont pense quand ils ont cree cette film?"). I was actually in Paris when this premiered. It's like six stories in one, and every time you think it ends, it just keeps on going on. We even get Knights Templar thrown in at what we think is the end, but then we move on to historic events.

The idea is great -- the gentleman thief. It's just over-over-over explained. Cinematography is quite good -- nice look and feel for old Paris. However, editing leaves something to be desired. And yes, Kristen Scott Thomas speaks very good French (well, actually, I'm not one to really judge -- sounded good to me). A nice effort that could have been a truly entertaining film if not written by a team of seven writers not in communication with each other (or so it seemed).

And one last thing -- the thief thing is a little ridiculous. The guy goes into a room, women are wearing enormous ostentatious necklaces and earrings, and they never notice him basically ripping these off of them. I think there was some sort of sensory deprivation problem back then (perhaps "touch" hadn't yet been discovered), so that might have made it easier for our pal Arsene. Otherwise, I have no explanation.

So, if you want to see a recent French film with good production value and practice your French, enjoy. If you want to see a good French film, there are many many other films more worth your time.

Numb3rs (2005–2010)

Lots of good actors ...

[27 January 2005]

... Jewish or not. First off, thank goodness my make-pretend girlfriend Sabrina Lloyd has a job, though it's a little too supporting (note how she didn't stop the killer or solve the case -- she had the stereotypically "womanly" job of comforting the tied up victim). No combat for her. Too bad about the blond highlights, but you can't have everything ...

Anyway, show is decent, not great, but a lot of very good actors (Morrow, Hirsch, MacNichol, Lloyd, Krumholtz) who work well as an ensemble. Even Anthony Heald (the mean prison warden in "Silence of the Lambs") as the bad FBI bureaucrat. Overall pretty formulaic and predictable (even "Silence of the Lambs" had the "random -- too random" thing with the evenly spaced incidents), but good enough to stay on for a while and work on characters.

Really could use some subtlety -- such as when Morrow unnecessarily hustles to help the cutie unnamed grad student hang up charts because, well, she's hot. However, most of the show is very straightforward, which is a shame, because this is a cast that can handle subtlety and subplot. Otherwise we've just got CSI West, with more math and less evidence.

Betty Blue (1986)

This is one of the best ...

[10/10 · 28 February 2002]

... films (not just "foreign films" ) out there. I think the word "haunting" was invented just to describe it. It is poignant, moving, deep and more without being overly heavy. Betty Blue/37.2 is a very good example of directing mood without being stupid -- scenes do make sense, characters do get revealed. So it's not like one of those arty "ambience" films your friends drag you off to every so often.

First time viewers, don't be put off by the first scene -- I think they just did it to prove they could.

To explain how powerful it is, even now if I hear the stupid song Zorg plays on piano, I still feel the film. The book is great as well.

Delicatessen (1991)

LOVE this film ...

[10/10 · 8 February 2002]

... it's charming, screwy, futuristic, retro and entertaining all at once. I think it represents the Brazil factor -- if you liked that, you'll like this.

Really a lot of fun, and proof that the French CAN make good movies, with actual plots, interesting cinematography and a real sense of irreverence.

Cinema Paradiso (1988)

Just see it ...

[10/10 · 8 February 2002]

... it may start off a little slow, and be a little too "European" for some, but it is absolutely charming. I was bawling like a baby at the end, and I NEVER do that.

I think the themes in it are timeless. It represents in many ways the journeys we all take from home, and how a part of us never leaves, no matter how far we have gone.

Cube (1997)

Whatever your station in life, your time is way too valuable for this movie ...

[1/10 · 5 February 2002]

... you will never be able to get those ninety minutes back. Run. Walk. Play in a park. Do laundry. Hug somebody. Write a letter. Clean out that messy drawer. Do the crossword. Surf the internet. Just don't watch this movie. I'm serious.

Now, before the hordes of angry adolescents with Jessica Alba posters start coming after me (with the larger, more thoughtful general sci-fi set not far behind), let me say ... the IDEA of this movie is interesting.

Essentially a takeoff on the disaster/Poseidon Adventure setup, where a bunch of diverse people who wouldn't normally hang out together are forced to get along in order to solve a big problem -- e.g., their survival -- I thought it wouldn't be half bad. And it's not, initially. But as this thing plods on, with some really poor acting performances, it really vacillates between two poles: "Oh, yeah, we've been dropped in a cube ... a giant series of cubes, actually, and we're probably going to die ... hey, how do we open that door? Hmm, that's a nice shirt/pant combo he has ..." and "OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD we're going to die! Die! DIEDIEDIE!!!!"

I've never been trapped in a cube, so this may be normal behavior. But it's a little tired from an acting standpoint.

So ... acting fair to middlin', at best. But what really gets me is you watch this whole stupid affair, only to find out ... nothing. Zip, nada, nothing. It just ends.

Now perhaps I'm accustomed to films and not self-indulgent class projects. But a little more than "hey, the savant'll save 'em" might be nice. I'm not asking for the whole backstory -- I watch X-Files, etc., and understand the fun of keeping stuff from the audience. But this is the sci-fi equivalent of one of those French films, where she might date him, and might not, and we don't know, and there's a lot of talking, and ... hey, it just ended. For those not into this sort of thing, it will leave you very unsatisfied. Trust me.

However, kudos to the filmakers. This had to be the cheapest set in movie history -- two adjoining cubes that light up different colors.

Sports Night (1998–2000)

Love this show ...

[10/10 · 21 August 2001]

... it's an example of how you occasionally run into a show that's pretty well written, well-paced, well cast and more intelligent than the average sitcom. Needless to say, it didn't last all that long.

They run it on Comedy Channel now at 10:30 some nights. Watching it and then watching the REAL sports news show on ESPN right afterwards makes me wish the fictional/real roles were reversed. That's not a slight against ESPN so much as it is a testament to how much I enjoyed the characters on Sports Night.

Glad to see Casey is making a name for himself on Six Feet Under, though.