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lnlypoet
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The Requin (2022)
What did I watch!?
I was so excited about this movie. Over the moon to see it, actually. Sharks are my favorite animal and ANY movie with sharks, especially movies with actors like Alicia Silverstone and James Tupper ... sounded right up my alley. I even like Sharknado, for goodness sake. So, clearly movies that misrepresent sharks are a-okay with me.
But this? I want to bleach my eyeballs. The special effects? Horrendous. I've literally never seen worse special effects in a movie. Sharknado has better effects than this awful movie. The acting? Probably the worst thing that has ever been filmed before. Ever. EVER. Ever. Alicia was horrible. James was horrible. The shark was horrible. Heck, their burning house out-acted them hands down. The house deserves an Oscar for finally dying and stranding them in open water to end this hot mess.
Avoid this. Avoid it. Unless you are heavily medicated or imbibe a ton of alcohol ... you'll just want to cry that you wasted time. At least disoriented ... you can laugh.
Maneater (2022)
Just so bad. SO bad.
As a woman in my forties like the lead actress was in this movie ... WHY would you portray her as a recent med school grad who is repeatedly called 'kid' by the main actor? She's not a kid. That's demeaning as heck. She is not a kid. I feel like the character was meant to be in her mid twenties but they cast someone who looks every year of their age and it was impossible to suspend belief that she was a jilted ingenue on what should have been her honeymoon with characters (her pals) who seemed MUCH younger. She took me out of every single scene. Especially the 'kid' nonsense.
Next, she's a med school grad but she doesn't even TRY to do any CPR at all when her friend washes up on shore after being hit by a shark tail. He's not bloody. Why wouldn't she do CPR? Then another friend comes with no leg and instead of using his belt as a tourniquet ... she leaves him to bleed out while she runs to get a first aid kit that she doesn't use at all ... and THEN uses his belt as a tourniquet. What. On. Earth!? Why did she go get that kit when his belt was RIGHT THERE!?
The only thing worse than the special effects was the acting. Just horrible. Right up there with The Requin as worst shark movie ever. Just. HORRIBLE.
Dirty Dancing (2017)
I watch all of Abigail Breslin's movies.
I think Abigail Breslin is insanely talented. As an actor. I've loved her since I first saw her in 'Signs' as a little girl.
But everything about this remake, including Abigail, was awful. She can't dance. Not even at the end where she's supposed to be awesome. I'm pretty sure I saw wires holding her up in the lift, too. Everything from her line delivery, to the lack of chemistry with ANYONE she shared a scene with, to her god awful and unflattering wardrobe made me wonder why someone so immensely skilled at acting would touch a disaster like this movie. It was just wrong on every level.
I also usually like Sarah Hyland, too. Not here. Not at all.
The script, the directing, the musical aspect, and the ending just ruined everything about it. And I do mean everything.
I feel like the actors must have given up on day one but had to stick around since they signed a contract. No one put any heart into it. There was no soul. No magic. No chemistry. Nothing profound. The characters were flat, unlikeable, and relentlessly cheesy.
Skip this, folks. Skip the heck out of it.