adxpitz Reviews

Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974)

Movie You'll Never Rewatch Again

[1/10 · 20 March 2024]

This has gotta be the worst movie in the history of Cartel genre and a disgrace to the Mexican nation as a whole. It's a collective of the worst 1:52 hours clips of film ever put together and I would do everything to wipe it off my memory bank.

Hell, I knew I was way more intellectual and has a thousand more braincells going in through this abomination than when I came out. It's gonna take years to scrub off the bad and regretful after taste it left in my mouth and throat.

In short, it a movie with all the unnecessary plots and dialogues glued together with the slowest cooking blend of bland spices that you could've experienced with.

You might be a bit riled up with the second final scene of how the story tied together but the director just can't let you have a meaningful experience and took the floor off yours with the most unnecessary ending.

I initially gave a generous 2/10 but after commenting the last paragraph, it is only fair to scroll up and demote the ratings to 1/10 since 0/10 ain't available.

This is the movie that will never be seen again by me, my bloodlines and any human I associated with. I beg you to spare the pain of the experience and never watch it beforehand.

The Sting (1973)

Potentially Flawed

[2/10 · 3 March 2024]

Here is an example of too much being too convoluted for an epic movie. This could've been one of the best con game flicks in the history of Hollywood but the plots had been layered to heavily and too overt that any glimpse of witty plot went old even turn of a scene.

When it took a whole village to con a depicted bone-head villain, there's no justification that the people working him could possibly be immaculate enough to carry out a job. It feels like the director tried putting in all the plots for ten movies into one and that doesn't remotely work well for the presentation of an epic flick. It started with 9/10 ratings and that number drastically went halfway down every scene and plot it got infused into throughout the movie. I'm in the last ten minutes and it already went down to 2/10, and I really hope it won't go down any further.

Legends of the Fall (1994)

2nd BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME

[8/10 · 14 October 2023]

It's baffles me that I got to find this movie out today after hitting the age of 34!! Such a good story telling, so much so that I'd consider it the second best movie Anthony Hopkins and Brad Pitt each ever did. And probably the best movie the rest of the cast ever did in their whole damn career.

Mind you, I can't give it 10/10 because of the following:

• Director Edward Zwick has a knack of bringing in tragedy to make a great film, which isn't always true. As we've seen in this movie, many unneeded death and despair we portrayed and it tends to stray away from the main storyline at times.

• The revolving reasons and plots could've been written better as seen in the director's later movie after this masterpiece.

• The rough and tough hero haven't been showcased enough to show what he actually got or capabled of.

• It would've been more enjoyable to close the movie on a lighter note after all the painful events we experienced and endured through. The end scene deserves an elated moment instead of closing with one sorrow after the other.

Emily the Criminal (2022)

Pretty Good & Unconventional

[7/10 · 14 September 2023]

Most movies are about something getting rich quickly and amassed a fortune but then someone waylaid them out of nowhere to bleed into the old boring theme of "CRIME DOESN'T PAY". Well, this isn't about that.

It's really refreshing to see a timid girl growing fast and getting start quick in the game without accepting any defeat whatsoever.

Even though the storyline is vague and isn't deep into the criminal acts, which is the most interesting part of any crime movie, the progress is paced well enough.

I was quite afraid that the movie would go the get rich quick to lose quick theme but then it went the other way which all movies should for a change, atleast for the next decade.

Against the Ice (2022)

BORINGGG..

[4/10 · 13 September 2023]

A long overdrawn expedition movies with boring plots. They cut off all the angles into a short second flicks and stayed on the most unprogressive parts to structure up the movie. There was a lot of stories in between how they got accidents, how the sledge dogs were killed one by one, how the polar bear attacked them within their journey, how they had to paved through hundreds of miles on foot after losing everything, how their teammates were fighting for their rescue back at home, the genesis of each of their backgrounds, what actually happened to their families and friends back home while they were away and how the rescue team finally came through glaciers to get them back and so on. Well, none of these were portrayed and a few that did got squash in just seconds as if they meant nothing for the movie. All in all, brilliant actors and decent budgets aside, it was a definite miss.

The Salesman (2016)

It's not a movie, it's an abomination

[2/10 · 20 August 2023]

Yeah, that's right. An abomination to all people who had to sit through and soldiered on watching it with subtitles, trying to get a nugget of worth in watching it. What a waste of time and energy to even opened the eyelids for this.

We got a bunch of third rated actors trying make a thespian masterpiece which they didn't have the talent pool nor tools and skills to execute one. The plot sucks, the storyline is horrendous, the pretence of seasoned acting is eminent and to top all those disasters, we have the most annoying lead actress for it.

The woman is like the stepchild out of Amy Schumer and Skyler White combined. Leaving off being the most unlikeable character so far, she can't act a lick. The only time she did a decent job is when she played unconscious and doesn't have to do anything.

Miracle in Cell No. 7 (2013)

Overrated and badly directed flick

[4/10 · 18 August 2023]

I dedicated 2 whole hours trying to find the 8/10 ratings in the movie and came out of it empty handed. This is a badly directed movie with stupid plots whose sole aim is to evoke emotions out of you in the name of a failed dark comedy.

It uses the same old technique of a victim with a tease of a false silver lining to shock the gullible viewers which doesn't work with 14 years and above.

For sure, it got talented actors where the supporting actors are that good, they covered the flaws of the director, the bad storyline plots and the annoying lead actor.

There are ways to cast a disabled character on screen but this lead character is just downright annoying and the overacting doesn't help the movie one bit. He threw me off since the first 10 minutes and by the mid section of the movie, I damn near grab him by the collar and slapped him around through the TV screen. And by the end of the movie, I was about to fling a bowling ball straight to the TV and throw it outta window just to be sure I will never see this pathetic movie ever again. All the tears and gloomy scenes doesn't move me one bit, nor did it gave the viewers to have a single compassion for the poorly written lead. This movie should never be rated above 4/10 and it makes the fanatic votes look so hokey to end it all.

Kandahar (2023)

Language Issue

[1/10 · 20 July 2023]

This movie reminds me of the alien movie District 9. I watched the whole movie not knowing a thing the alien critters were blabbing with and thought the movie could've been so much more. And then I came to find out that there's subtitles for the damn alien language but then the interest was gone and never got back to it.

Coming to Kandahar, majority of the main storyline was told in native languages. There's two sets of subtitles where one translates only the native languages and the other with English. Noone watch movies without subtitles nowadays even with English as it's always a better grasps when reading it 'cause noises can cut in between. It's really annoying that they just won't include the native subtitles embedded hard into the movie or combine both the languages. And it already losts me 15 mins into the movie.

For all those reasons alone, I ain't rating this movie with such an advanced language concept more that 1 star and I'm generous. You can't expect people to watch your movie without understanding a word the talibans are spitting off.

Slumberland (2022)

JASON SLUMBERER

[4/10 · 12 April 2023]

This had got to be one of the most ridiculous movie I've seen in a long time. And the problem is definitely not the script nor the production, it's not even the actors as a whole. It's a case where a certain single actor namely Jason Momoa screwed up the whole movie.

The guy doesn't have humor nor comedic bone in his body. He definitely have no training to atleast hold up the part or it would've showed.

It's such a shame that a highly potential movie with great supporting actors had to revolve around a 6.5 ft dork who tries to be a jester but ain't funny.

His mannerisms and flair doesn't matched up the role and anyway seeing otherwise must come out of the Jason SLUMBER Party immediately to save their braincells.

Snowfall (2017–2023)

BUDGET CUT PRODUCTIONS

[1/10 · 7 April 2023]

This series could've easily been the next WIRE, Breaking Bad or Narcos. I'd even say their current ratings of 8/10 is an understatement but they cut off the major game changers of the storyline and just hopped to the next scenes and casually talked about it as if the viewers saw everything. It's the case of either lazy storytelling or pure stupidity and ignorance. And worst of all, that's what they started since the pilot episode.

In the first few episodes they omitted a guy being shot with bullproof, a major drug robbery gone wrong and a plane accident which could've catapulted the show to a huge mainstream thing but they intentionally failed to do that to cut corners and it shows. You do not do that in season 1 especially the first episodes where you lay foundations to your story. Those are basically the pillars on which you built the series.

I'd gladly give it a 9/10 but because of those issues in relation to how great the show could've been, I'm rather giving it 1/10 or in actuality a 0/10. Ugh..

KSI: In Real Life (2023)

MOST PATHETIC DOCUMENTARY EVERRRR!!

[1/10 · 1 April 2023]

This film is just about the worst documentary ever made. Hell, Ed Woods might have directed it himself. It's basically a cheap attempt to do Dwayne THE ROCK Johnson's "Young Rock" but with a guy with zero talent who got lucky the current generation has no taste in celebrity nor idols.

I just can't figure out why an unfunny clown like KSI got such a fan following when sitting through the video is the worst punishment I've led myself into.

Leave off the torturous YouTube video library, we see the phoniest so called "boxer" who, like his butt buddy Pauls, get the opponents dive for 6 figures and equally has the worst music skills that I personally would never let nor allow an enemy's corpse listen.

I wish the current society do a 160 degree turn and get back to the old days when the likes of these Clownshoes never had a chance in the world's affairs or else take a huge jump into the future and get away from this culture for good.

Stardust Memories (1980)

Most Annoying Allen Ever

[1/10 · 5 September 2022]

This is, by far, the most overrated black&white movie ever made. It isn't even necessarily a movie as opposed to a collection of skits stitched together.

The focus is to display cinematic and acting skills through a colourless featured film but doesn't deliver it's dream.

Do not waste time on this garbage. It ain't worth the effort. Better pull up a drying paint video on YouTube or something.

I downloaded this by mistake of Aug 5 and it took around a month for me to finally get past the first five minutes and that costs me nearly an arm and a leg with the torture of expecting something worthwhile from it.

Little Giants (1994)

UNDISCOVERED GEM

[7/10 · 9 August 2022]

This movie would've been as popular as The Rascals, Ritchie Rich, Problem Child and Dennis The Menace franchises if it was promoted the same. Too bad I've to discover it after 28 long years of watching the best films.

The Chi (2018– )

THE VERY BEST OF CHICAGO

[8/10 · 8 August 2022]

This has got to be the most profound series in the past half decade. However, there's some unmistakable flaws as the season progresses and fell from my initial 10/10 ratings to 8/10.

Season 1 starts strong with the best casts and resembled The Wire in many aspects. I almost thought it's some kind of reboot. Probably 9/10 in my books.

Season 2 looks like some kind of Atlanta spin off and still decent which I'd give 8/10.

Season 3 really started getting on the nerves with Kiesha storyline which took a season too many and I'd give 7/10. But other than that, it morphed into Shameless series like and still entertaining as hell.

Season 4 headed for a nosedived and I personally felt it won't recover again. Too many dramas on couples cheating and the continuation of the hideous Kiesha pregnancy storyline which I just fast forwarded through. It isn't worth spending time with all the lame relationship angles and I do recommend the fast forward button. I'll be as generous as I can and give it a 5.5/10

Season 5: Haven't watched it as I'm not sure to even feel the worth based on the past season. I don't know whether there's change in the writing staffs that the series rapidly deteriorated between Season 1 to 4.

The Bold Type: No Feminism in the Champagne Room (2017) Season 1, Episode 5

Triumph finally

[8/10 · 4 August 2022]

They finally hit the jackpot with this episode. I wasn't sold before and was trying to end watching it. I now finally got the hang of it and most probably download the complete seasons. Congrats Bold Typers.

Swamp Thing (2019)

Roswell, New Mexico rip-off

[4/10 · 3 August 2022]

One of two sisters died, the other left the town for a decade before finally coming back and sleeps with an old flame instead of the hero whom she really loves. The hero being a mutant who tried everything he could to save the town from the evil Warlords running the town.. That's Roswell, New Mexico which this series plagiarised almost from cover to cover.

Frankly speaking, I'm glad they cancelled this. Bad storyline, bad reboot, bad acting and character developments.

There's so many plotholes about this series that you can easily filter through a large pile of rocks through it. And why would only a single guy survived a deadly mutation while it ravaged everyone else? Still thinking..

Neighbors (1981)

Rather 1/20 aka Encounter Of The Worst Kind

[1/10 · 3 August 2022]

This has got to be the most annoying, uneventful, clueless and unyielding movie that's ever made. Pot holes, bad plots and unnecessary suspense laden aside, the worse is that the director really thought good of himself and felt his ego could made something people would enjoy.

With the heavy productions and great actors coupled with age of the movie, generous IMDb users had given it a 5.5/10. I say it should be out of twenty, and the score being one or two at the utter most.

Mona Lisa (1986)

An absolute waste of time

[3/10 · 2 August 2022]

It's one of those Michael Cain's movie where the storyline cannot fort the suspense and pay off. I'm not necessarily gonna spoil it but there's lots of loopholes that was never answered as if the director is literally on a heavy kush or purple Haze.

Sisters (III) (2015)

JOHN CENA's best role ever!!

[9/10 · 2 August 2022]

First of all, Cena is not for acting and comedy. This guy single-handedly killed the wrestling industry with his untalented entertainment skills and even made worse Hollywood movie choices. It's surprising to see that he finally got the role best suited for him, ie. He don't have more than a paragraph of lines.

Secondly, the director is a talented one here. All the storylines and plots are nicely layered that not a sentence got unanswered from the start of the movie and played out brilliantly till the end.

A very heartwarming comedy and talented actors and definitely deserve atleast 8/10 as time goes on with the IMDb user ratings ascension.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

Saved by Guns & Roses

[3/10 · 28 July 2022]

This is the worst movie any big budgeted production could have ever made. It's sickening to see actors trying to be comedians on bad scripts, especially a movie that involves child trafficking. They kept talking about this Watiti fellow who watered down this sequel so bad that there might not be a franchise after this.

On the other hand, the only thing he did right about this movie is incorporating Guns & Roses songs, plugs, visuals and attires which atleast gave clout and legitimacy into it.

Roswell, New Mexico (2019–2022)

EPIC FAIL..

[4/10 · 28 July 2022]

It either takes guts or self entitlement to name a show after the most controversial phenomenon in the past century, and this one won the pony in the latter.

There are so many creative ways to go about a series like the X Files, Supernatural, Blacklist, etc theme but the director had to sell us a boring love story instead and made a mockery out of a great potential cult following.

The lead hero and heroine just can't to give each other a kiss but had to continuous breed with each of their side hustles and the story never seem to end. I'm stuck with half the first season and I will never download the next season.

Taps (I) (1981)

Lost Cause

[5/10 · 28 July 2022]

This is a movie that could've easily been Tom Cruise's breakout flick instead of Top Gun, if it wasn't for the director's lack of creativity and poor choice of lead actor.

90% of the actors are super fine, especially the youngest buddies played by Brendan Ward and his friends. Next will be Tom Cruise and then Sean Penn. The problem here lies with the lead actor who is a pencil neck geek and a pale pastey nerd but had been given a tough guy major title. He alone definitely brought down the movie atleast 3+ ratings lower.

And then the other leg of the issue is the director trying to make this a drama masterpiece and inturn creating the most lackluster film he could. The actions and more cautious angles are almost non-existent and mostly filled with unnecessary negotiations and tears.

And then they had to warped with the most idiotic ending sequence for a movie that should be 1hr15mins but dragged for another 50 mins too long.

The Man from Toronto (2022)

Decent Movie, Pooper Ending

[5/10 · 25 July 2022]

The movie was quite okay compared to the ratings as you watched, if it wasn't for two main reasons: the non sincerity and the bad ending.

Here is a movie which invested in one of the best stunts, fireworks, explosions, etc but doomed by a mouth that talks too much. Kevin is a funny dude but he does too much and retired the theme of the movie by a long mile.

Secondly, I don't share the humor in Bank heist, treasure hunt, lottery and reward movies where you got hooked in chasing the bounty the whole story and, wham, they either blew up, lock up or disintegrated it at the end...and this movie is one.

So, don't get your expectations high with this movie. Go heckle Kevin Hart after watching it.

The Blacklist: The Bear Mask (2022) Season 9, Episode 19

THE WORST EPISODE IN TV SERIES HISTORY

[1/10 · 19 July 2022]

I still can't believe Blacklist could stoop this low. I fastforward the brutal dream sequences and went straight to the end within 10 mins and it was such a relief.

It is one of those filler episodes where they kept on stitching the outtakes out of pure boredom, lack of commitment or the show makers venting out their stress and frustrations.

A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

Truly Annoying

[5/10 · 17 July 2022]

This is quite a cast we got and could have been a 8/10 but should be 5/10.

The stuttering scene are definitely not funny and overdone, Kevin Kline overacts much of the film and Jamie Lee Curtis (the Hermaphrodite) should never have been given a sexual scene 'cos she ain't sexy.

Moreover, there are many holes in the flowchart of the story, unnecessary nuances to fill time and putrid adult scenes that doesn't help the movie. I'm supposed to give a 4/10 but out of generosity I'm levying it 5.