maximovlE Reviews

Clarkson's Farm (2021– )

Emotional!

[10/10 · 8 May 2023]

Top gear has never been the same since Clarkson and co left. It just hasn't. And since I didn't want to pay for Amazon I never got to see their new show. I didn't get to see this either.

However, peer pressure got to me as everyone I know was telling me about Clarkson's Farm, even those who are soft enough to dislike him (mostly the same sort that moan if coffee from a cafe is 0.1° out of their comfort range of if their fast food fries are missing a single grain of salt, so normally the type I would ignore.)

So, I took the opportunity and binge watched both series in one long weekend, and I'm so glad I did. Clarkson and co used to make me laugh on topgear, and I wondered what he would be like on something more serious and without his mates, and I wasn't disappointed. Hammond and May are replaced with a new crew of genuine and natural characters who very quickly become people you'd love to spend an evening with. But what's most important, is that no only can you find yourself laughing so hard your neighbours call round to check you're still breathing, but that you can literally be crying at exactly the same time.

There is a sad side to the show though, other than the naturally sad side of farming such as animals not making it, which is surprisingly harder than expected, even for a meat lover, but the messed up volume of red tape. I'm surprised anyone farms any more, and I'm surprised that council workers and nosy neighbours with more time than compassion can sleep at night. By the end of the show I just expected Clarkson to turn the farm into a playground for monster trucks just to say stuff you to the sad life busybodies.

Overall, well worth more than a score of 10, for the laughs, the tears, and the awakening of how hard the government and councils make it for real people to survive.

The Tomorrow War (2021)

You just can't please anyone any more!

[10/10 · 29 October 2022]

Blah blah blah, whine whine whine... It's unrealistic, there's plot holes, why would this or that happen?

Wake up people, it's a fantasy movie about aliens. If all these things that people are whining about happened, then the whole movie would be a bore fest of logic, and pointless. All fantasy would be pointless. So get a grip and lighten up...

Chris Pratt, just as he did as Star Lord, lights up the screen with corny action taking on a horde of aliens. There's a story, it's fairly unique, it moves well enough not to bore and the CGI is spot on. If you're the type of person who enjoys being entertained and you have the ability to enjoy yourself without picking holes in everything around you, you should enjoy this movie.

The Missing (2014–2016)

Horrible.

[1/10 · 13 September 2022]

I'm confused. In a world full of more than enough drama, why people feel the need to watch it for entertainment. I usually avoid such trash TV, but flicking through Netflix led me to this, and watching the first episode I was intrigued. I liked the cast, and there was something about the story that seemed interesting, so I gave it a go. By the end of season one I was watching it purely because I wanted to see the outcome, even though the journey was horrible.

For starters, the time flickering. It's not something that's for everyone and certainly not for me. It made keeping up with the overly complicated plot more difficult than it already was. Which leads me to the plot. In my opinion, a good writer can keep the story flowing without needing to complicate matters this much. Have we really become so hard to please that the plot twists need to be there every half hour? Why introduce so many characters who are, in the end, pointless? Why do we need corrupt coppers, a corrupt judge, so many paedophiles, and a father who becomes a murderer? How can I care about the main character when he's such a violent murdering idiot? By the end it was as realistic as a soap opera. Everyone in that small town is a villan! Oh, and artistic licencing... So many moments that just wouldn't happen. So many times I rolled my eyes while I watched the nonsense occuring purely to push this awful story along, destroying any hope of realism.

But I stayed until the end, preying for a half decent outcome. I was as disappointed with the conclusion as I was with game of thrones. What a waste of time. We get to see all the pain, but are denied any joy.

Is this what people want? Do my fellow viewers relish only the pain and anguish? Have happy endings gone forever? I think I'll skip season 2, and the other show with this detective guy and find something more satisfying to watch tomorrow night...

Bluey: Pass The Parcel (2021) Season 3, Episode 14

Best episode ever, not for snowflakes

[10/10 · 21 August 2022]

Pass the parcel, but thanks to the legend that is Lucky's dad (he has a name, Pat! Who knew?), everyone starts playing it the proper way, one prize in the middle and not the inclusive way of prizes under every layer. So funny and Pat is spot on!

I'm surprised Disney allowed this episode, they seem to ban them for anything these days. Watch it while you still can!!!

Black Mirror: Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too (2019) Season 5, Episode 3

Ahh chill!

[10/10 · 4 August 2022]

Don't skip it, (honestly, people say that as if they're the authority on what others should watch, so annoying!)

This episode isn't as detached from the usual black mirror as many seem to make out. It's still another take on the whole 'transfering the human mind to a computer' thing that pretty much every episode has been about, it's just done a little diffrently.

The episode includes someone being forced into a coma, and someone planning murder. Not really that light hearted. Black Mirror episodes have bounced from sci-fi to rom-com to horror to thriller... So why this one is recieving so much hate is beyond me. It is definitely not the worst episode.

Black Mirror: Smithereens (2019) Season 5, Episode 2

Perfection, flawed.

[8/10 · 3 August 2022]

I honestly believe there are many lessons to be learned from this episode. Reading these reviews will show that. I go with the theory about how we as people miss all the detail and substitute it for a glance at a phone. It's like online dating, you have no idea what this person is like, but you swipe based off an opinion you've built up in less than a second. It's portrayed here in the main characters dramatic story, which in front of our eyes is being spread around the virtual world in snippets of social media that people peek at and move on.

I love how black mirror has sucked us in with futuristic robots and virtual reality world's which engulf our lives and then POW, the sucker punch, the reality that we don't need the future, mobile phones have already consumed us here in the present.

I loved this episode, and Andrew Scott played his part wonderfully. However, I can't possibly give a score of 10 because the portrayal of the police was ridiculous. It's as if the only knowledge of our police force the writers had was from watching The Bill, or maybe the odd Sunday night police drama. No reality whatsoever, which for me at least, left me sighing at the cringeworthy lines they were throwing out so much I was distracted from the good bits. Not to mention the armed response that couldn't work out how to position themselves properly, or that awful sergeant with a complete lack of respect or charisma or skill or knowledge, or the officers who all had forced laandan accents and couldn't string a sentence without swearing...

Overall great, one of the best. But a shocking lack of research to get the majority of the cast to look believable.

Black Mirror: Metalhead (2017) Season 4, Episode 5

Shoulda skipped this one

[1/10 · 1 August 2022]

Like an annoying horror movie, you spend your time screaming at the screen wishing the stupid woman wouldn't be so dumb, annoying, pathetic...

She's a survivor, I presume, so should have, at this point, experienced a little death, and a few dogs. Yet she constantly acts like she's just been dropped in it, like we have, with no idea what's going on.

I can't talk, I'm being tracked... So she sits and drops her life story??? I wanted her to die and end it, I really did.

Just for context, I've loved every episode so far, all of them. I hate this one.

The Sea Beast (2022)

Can we go now?

[2/10 · 29 July 2022]

I believe the word is forced. The whole movie felt forced. Unrealistic in any sense of the word and forced. The animation, the sound, the acting, and definitely the story... All needed more work.

Someone needs to tell these people, movies should be fun, not political points of view. Wokism is destroying entertainment, and this straight to the bargain bucket movie is proof.

Stranger Things: Chapter Seven: The Massacre at Hawkins Lab (2022) Season 4, Episode 7

Just... Wow

[10/10 · 12 July 2022]

Stranger things went from excellent to epic in one episode. This episode. I'm so eager to watch the rest. This changes everything for the better.

Was this all planned? Are the writers making it up as they go? Either way it's brilliant. Just brilliant.

Thank you.

Zombex (2013)

Mixed bag

[4/10 · 7 July 2022]

For a few short moments, there were signs of promise. Some acting was good, John doe stole the show. But then others were so bad, like the overly cheesy DJ... I can't believe he's a real actor.

But it wasn't the actors that killed this, it was the director. If he couldn't realise how bad this would be, he shouldn't be in the business.

I give 4 stars to account for the actors that were at least trying.

Walkaway Joe (2020)

Zzzzz

[1/10 · 6 July 2022]

A movie needs to entertain. This didn't. So it's a fair 1 star.

So disappointed, after Negan I wanted to see more from Jeffrey Dean Morgan, but didn't. This movie is slow and boring and the acting is pants. It's not even a long movie, so why fill it with so many ambient scenery shots?

Oh, and the mumbling... The walkers on walking dead were easier to understand.

Chaos Walking (2021)

Didn't work

[1/10 · 30 May 2022]

The movie could have been good, but the visual thoughts were distracting and the constant audiable thoughts made the mumbled speech so difficult to hear that the narrative was virtually impossible to follow. A concept that should have been rejected, in my opinion.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: The Star-Spangled Man (2021) Season 1, Episode 2

Awful

[1/10 · 18 April 2022]

Boring and hard to watch. The lowest part of the whole of the MCU for SO many reasons. Doesn't even feel like the MCU. I'm way behind in the series because it's taking me so long to force myself to see this. I prey the rest of what's to come gets better or for me, it's over.

Non-Stop (2014)

Solid 8

[8/10 · 21 February 2022]

What's with all the hate on action movies these days? Tear yourself away from the drama the world is full of, put your feet up, take a big deep breath... and relax.

It's an action movie. It has action. It's not lifelike, it's not real, but it's fun. Neeson runs around a plane trying to catch the bad guy. Things get smashed, people get hurt, Neeson saves the day and the little girl gets saved. All together now... Ahhhh.

A solid 8 for being exactly what it's meant to be.

Animus (I) (2013)

Speechless

[1/10 · 20 February 2022]

I know it's old, but there were better movies made before colour was added.

In the story a teacher is telling his class to go film a movie, I think this was the result. All filmed in one afternoon with an old fashioned camcorder.

Nothing good to say about it.

Stillwater (II) (2018)

Wasted potential, I tried, honestly.

[3/10 · 4 February 2022]

This movie started well. I went in knowing nothing about it, and the opener left me feeling positive. It felt like huge names were going to pop up on the screen, but then when every name was unheard of, by me at least, I was surprised, because it felt too professional for unknowns. It's rare that a movie full of unknowns entertains me, but it does happen occasionally, and this looked promising. Right up until the morning after.

Ok, so up until the end of day one, there were a few moments here and there which made me wince, some of the acting, some of the script, some of the direction was... off, unnatural, amateurish. But a decent scene had been set, most of the actors seemed to have some skill in their craft, and I was looking forward to seeing where this will go.

But then the morning after happened. Only about two or three of the characters seemed anywhere near realistic. It felt like Hollywood had left the building and taken all their staff with them. It seemed that no one was directing anyone. It felt like day one rehearsals. It looked like actors had no idea where to go or what to do, other than throwing out their lines, which seemed like they were written by a ten year old, they just looked awkward.

Especially bad was the marine. He had one expression, and it never changed! He was a caricature marine with no realism whatsoever. I'm fairly sure that every line he threw out was taken directly from the directors collection of 80s war movies. It was like he had taken over the movie and every other actor was trying to work around him, and his one expression, and his arms that seem to have had a falling out with the rest of his body. Honestly, no marine or even body builder walks like that! I was so delighted when he jumped in the lake, and the movie genuinely improved after that!

It appears the marine is in fact the writer, director and producer. Wow, that explains a lot.

The Commuter (I) (2018)

Just enjoy it!

[9/10 · 4 February 2022]

Oscars? Nope. Huge groundbreaking drama? No.

So why a 9? Because it entertained. I'm not sure who first thought Liam Neeson could be a major action movie star, but it works, and here he is again doing his thing, along with a great supporting cast.

I don't care for what's popular, I care for entertainment. It's something different, it a bit of fun, so sit back and enjoy the ride.

Every Day (2018)

Not a teen, still liked it!

[10/10 · 9 January 2022]

Comments here always make me chuckle. One says only shallow teens would like this, another says it needs more drama... Yeah, wrong on both.

I'm not shallow, nor a teen, and definitely glad this wasn't riddled with the usual over dramatic trash that other movies are.

Every Day had an original concept which as far as I'm concerned was executed extremely well. I wouldn't nessessarily call this a romantic movie, it wasn't about that, I felt it was more about relationships in general. Either way, the character of 'A' was extremely well played out by a number of different actors/actresses that worked well together to keep a fluidity to the character.

Angourie Rice was a great casting, she seems to have a natural innocence which lent the character the ability to remain open to the situation. As someone who isn't an actor, I can only imagine the difficulty of acting alongside a character who is played by multiple actors/actresses, and in my opinion she, as well as they, managed this relationship beautifully.

Not my usual choice for a movie, but one I'm glad I discovered.

Oh, and as a fan of the MCU, I loved the 'James' day!

Don't Look Up (2021)

The truth hurts

[10/10 · 3 January 2022]

I can't remember ever seeing a movie quite like this. I've no idea where to start. I'd love to sit and talk with the creators and see if they were aiming for the responses they've received. Reading through these comments I see it really is a love it or despise it movie, very few in between.

The humor is very much satirical in an almost sarcastic manner, which for me works really well. There are parts of the movie that feel like your typical disaster movie and then parts that are sublimely ridiculous.

The scary element is that the ridiculous parts are the most believable. You need only look at Facebook and read the comments people willingly put up on any public post, particularly those relating to the current and ongoing global pandemic, and you'll instantly see a plethora of people just as stupid in their responses as those depicted in the movie. The way that the world is reacting to Covid is perfectly in sync with this movie.

There are far too many people in this 'developed' world who are blissfully happy in their ignorance. So engulfed in the nonsense that surrounds them, that they will, eventually, destroy this beautiful planet for the rest of us.

I guess they are the ones who dislike this movie. The truth hurts.

Out of the Furnace (2013)

Hollywood can't help themselves.

[4/10 · 3 November 2021]

I liked the beginning of this movie very much. I felt I was witnessing something I rarely see, great actors acting greatly. The scenes between Bale and Affleck felt completely natural, as if they were real brothers just hanging and chatting.

I felt the pace was too slow, however, which caused my attention to wander away. After reaching the end of the movie I realised they could have made it half an hour and still managed not to miss any element of the story. It really is disappointing that I'd spent so much time observing nothing!

What really disappointed me, however, was Hollywood doing it's thing. It felt to me as if Hollywood was sitting in the wings throughout the filming, probably as frustrated as me with the slow pace. Eventually, near the end, someone gave Hollywood the ok and they sprang into action. The hero of the movie who, up until this point had been calm and deliberate in everything he did, reverted to stereotypical Hollywood stupidity...

He was a hunter. A man who knows his guns and knows how to use them. He has a scoped rifle in his hands and he is only yards away from the guy who killed his brother. He is also out in the open... So instead of taking him down he chases him into the foundry and loses him. Hollywood gets it's way. Suspense for the sake of it while destroying the build up.

Short Term 12 (2013)

That hit hard!

[10/10 · 31 October 2021]

Went into this one with no preconceptions. I knew nothing about it, so I had no idea where it was going to go.

The shaky cam nearly killed it, but thankfully the acting was so good I couldn't even tell you if there was still shaky cam after the first quarter. Still, movie makers, stop the shaky cam crap already!

So what can I say without spoilers? I dunno. It was simple, engaging... I spend most movies on my phone, googling, imdbing... Didn't on this one .

I was very much aware of Brie as Captain Marvel, so to see here here doing something incredibly different was delightful. Her credibility as an actress in my opinion has risen enormously and I want to see more.

Not my usual sort of movie, and I really don't know how to talk about it without ruining the plot, but every now and then a movie like this comes along and grips me. So, no matter what your usual type of movie is, if you're contemplating this, just do it. It's good.

The Kid Who Would Be King (2019)

Embarrassing

[1/10 · 30 October 2021]

A sixty million budget? Really?

From the offset this thing had the feel of a CBBC kids series. Cheap, nasty.. you know, just like Dr Who.

The kid finds the sword in some broken building foundations. Yeah, because no one would have noticed that!

I tried, but even Patrick Stewart couldn't save this nonsense.

Sons of Anarchy: Faith and Despondency (2014) Season 7, Episode 10

Mouth wide open...

[10/10 · 28 October 2021]

I know I'm late to the party, but that was the best ending of an episode I've seen in a long, long time. I didn't cry, honest. And my jaw didn't hit the floor at the end. Honest....

Sons of Anarchy: Playing with Monsters (2014) Season 7, Episode 3

Decline of the sons

[6/10 · 27 October 2021]

I honestly had a feeling the sons would become a nice biker gang doing good things for the community. You know, the way they started to just before Tara died.

Now yes, I get it, Jax is p... um... (It's a show full of violence and bad language but we can't swear here, what a strange world!) Anyway, he's angry at losing Tara, even after what she did. But this rapid decline of his... He's a psyco, killing anyone and everyone. Even his crew seem to be happy to join in with the killing spree. It's totally out of character for most of them.

Again, I get it, they want to go out on a high. I just feel like 6 seasons of building Jax up as someone we can get behind only to turn him into someone we despise... The only ones I care for now are Juice, the junkie, and Unser... oh and the finger guy. I hope the rest are buried by the end of it... I guess I'll find out in a few more hours.

I know this review is a few years out of time, I just needed to vent!

Free Guy (2021)

Sublime

[10/10 · 16 October 2021]

Free Guy is complete nonsense. You don't need to be tech minded or computer savvy to work out how ridiculous it is. But if you're one of the many people complaining about that, then you should quit movies for life and read encyclopedias instead.

This movie is excellent. It's funny. It's silly. It's clever. And I can't believe I didn't recognise Dwayne Johnson or Hugh Jackman first time, they were both so obvious second time around!!

In a world where everyone is so serious, upset, angry, looking for a fight... This movie is exactly what you need!!!

Oh, and Ryan Reynolds is sublime. But isn't he always?