Change Your Image
s_a_n_d_w_i_c_h_e_s
Orange and bergamot blended with lavender and neroli give No.89 its classical cologne aspect. Warmed with a touch of spicy nutmeg, the floral heart is underscored by the dominant woody accord of sandalwood, cedarwood and vetiver in this quintessentially English gentleman’s fragrance.”
James Bond on No. 89: [to a rat] “One of us smells like a tart's handkerchief. . . I'm afraid it's me. Sorry about that, old boy.”
marybethtex:
1: The Visitor
2: The Savages
3: Hysterical Blindness
theladykay:
4: The Ghost and Mrs. Muir
5: The Red Violin
6: Truly Madly Deeply
G_a_l_i_n_a:
7: Straight Time
8: Waltz with Bashir * * * * *
peas-n-carrots:
11: The Two of Us
12: The Wrong Box
zoe_eclisse:
13: The Girls
zoe_eclisse:
15: Safe
16: In a Lonely Place
Reviews
Tomboy (2011)
Tomboy
This sweet, tender coming-of-age drama from Celine Sciamma is a real charmer.
Zoe Heran plays Laure, the ten-year-old tomboy of the title, who has moved with her parents and six-year-old sister to a new town. She'll be starting at the local school in a few weeks, but until then she spends the summer babysitting her sister for her very pregnant mother while dad's out at work and hanging out with the other children that live in the apartment complex. The only problem is Laure has told her new friends that she's a boy, and that his name is Mikael. Mikael becomes close to Lisa and a mutual crush develops. With the first day of school – and discovery of her secret – rapidly appraching, Laure becomes increasingly anxious to keep hold of the happiness she finds in being Mikael.
With the focus squarely on the children – a hugely endearing bunch of varying ages – a significant portion of the film simply shows them at play, and those scenes are the film's best with the actors delivering naturalistic and thoroughly genuine, authentic performances – it appears the director was simply content to just quietly and unobtrusively film from the background while they behaved like, well, children. The consequence is that it's a film full of laughter. That infectious laughter is so central to the film that it's still happily ringing in my ears hours after the credits rolled.
Heran is great; totally convincing in what is essentially both a male and female role. The most delightful moppet award goes to Malonn Levana as the sister. Wise beyond her years but a million miles away from all the Hollywood clichés that phrase brings to mind, her relationship with Laure is the film's most important and the chemistry between the two girls is magnificent. The tenderness and understanding present in that relationship extends throughout the family as well: the film is filled with quiet, intimate moments shared between them. They're not cartoon characters and they're not idealised, they're just a really nice little unit and it's a joy to spend 81 minutes in their company.
It's not all sweetness and roses though. Mikael's self-made predicament is as uncomfortable for the audience as it is for him. As he and Lisa fall for each other the unfairness of his lie starts to sting, and simple things like going to the toilet cause problems too. Obviously things won't end well, but when Mikael is finally discovered the fallout is refreshingly credible: people get very, very hurt, and it's heartbreaking to watch.
However Tomboy thankfully ends on a hopeful note. It's a rare trick to craft a film so uplifting, so powerful, yet remain completely committed to authentic human emotions and an admirable absence of audience manipulation.
And wait 'til you meet that baby! More reviews at http://flickfeast.co.uk/
Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)
This movie ROCKS
This is the funniest film ever made except for a few that will make you laugh more than this one will. This movie is so funny it might even pop you! LOL. But I mean it in a serious way.
I liked this film because a series of calamities happen to an old man who is trying to travel across America all the way from one side of it to the other side of it. There is even one part where he uses foul language in a place where you can actually rent cars LOL! Many other comedies have been made (there are thousands of them if you look) but this one is better because it has a big jolly fat man in it for you to laugh at. He is so funny! When you watch him try to move around you will laugh your crack off. It is shameful he's dead now.
No Country for Old Men (2007)
This movie SUCKED
This film is rubbish but before I start talking about how rubbish it is I have to tell you something which you must understand and be aware of. If you haven't seen this rubbish film then you shouldn't read what I am about to write because I have written some talking which have details all about almost all of the plot. I would suggest most pleasantly that you DO NOT READ THIS because it will be bad for you and will spoil things in this movie.
A lot of people have been tricked into liking this film because this is one of those films that tries to make you think it's better than it actually is, but if you think about it you will see it's rubbish. Everybody mumbles or wails like pigeons. I wish I could make sounds on this website to explain.
It's all about a man who finds some money and runs off. He's being chased by a man who wants to kill him and steal his money. This man has weird hair that hangs off his head like yesterday's tacos and he is annoying to look at. He mumbles so nobody knows what he is saying. He carries a silly little toy (that is actually massive) that kills people with little puffs of air (as if air could kill people LOL!). He is being chased by a crooked old man who is a sheriff who always looks like he's about to cry. The man with the money even has a wife (she's the one who sounds like a pigeon) who looks miserable and has a face like a wedge of cheese. There are WAY TOO MANY characters in this film.
What is also rubbish is that we never see what's happening because the camera is pointing in the wrong direction for all the exciting stuff like killings and explosions. It takes 10 boring minutes of planning an explosion and then when it happens it's in the background and we can't see it properly. When everyone gets killed at the end (which is rubbish) the camera is pointing at the sheriff driving a car, and WE DON'T EVEN SEE IT HAPPEN! LOL it's like a space movie where everyone sits in a room and then someone comes in and says we've just come back from space and we had a big fight with some aliens. That would be rubbish and this film is just like that.
The Shining (1980)
this movie SUCKED
These writings write about the end of the plot so don't read it if you haven't seen this rubbish.
I found this rubbish film in the horror section which made me think it would be a horror. If I owned a video store I'd put it in the BORING section. This film is so rubbish it will make you feel like you have lost your socks.
This film contains endless shots of people driving as if that was scary. Well I drive to work and back (and sometimes to the store or to visit my cats) almost every day and trust me it's not scary. It even starts with 20 minutes of some people driving. Even the little kid does it too. Round and round he goes and he never stops. What's so scary about watching a little kid riding a bicycle for an hour? I think NOTHING and if you watch it you will not think so too.
The family in the car arrive at a big castle and they are given a tour just walking around endlessly looking at kitchens. Then the man walks around a for an hour and tries to kill his family for no reason. That's all that happens and as you can see it's rubbish.
The Godfather (1972)
This movie SUCKED
The following writing which you are about to read has little bits of things in it that might spoil the movie if you haven't seen it (which I would not recommend). So please do not read this OR see the movie.
This movie sucks. This is one of those rubbish old mafia films from 30 years ago back when they still didn't know how to make them properly with lots of killings and foul language. It's just rubbish. If I wanted to watch fat old men sitting around a table and talking for three hours I'd go to some place where they do that and watch them instead.
It doesn't even have any plots to it. Everybody just speaks in a strange language like I'm supposed to understand that. This one guy in the movie is the worst heaving windbag I've ever seen in my life. He even kills himself with oranges which is so stupid because oranges aren't even poisonous.
Please do not watch this film. It is too rubbish for words (although I have used words in what I have just said). Watch a proper mafia film like Goodfellas or Corky Romano instead.
300 (2006)
This movie ROCKS
This movie is so great I can't believe my ears. You will enjoy it I promise. I was the only person who saw it at home in my house but if there had been other people with me they would have enjoyed it too. It is so great that even people in hospitals will like it.
The letter "E" is the most commonly-used letter in the English language (which many other countries have learned how to speak) and this movie is called 300. This title is a quite rubbish because if you think about it it's just a number and doesn't have any actual words in it but if you can look past that you will find this movie is awesome.
It is set millions of years ago (which is in the past) in a land called "Greece" where a mad racist king rules his little town called Sparta. He goes crazy one morning when a black man arrives in town and starts making trouble. He runs away with 300 of his soldiers and along the way he meets a big team of metal robots and starts a fight with them which goes on for hours. These robots have scary faces and they brought monsters with them too.
One thing that is rubbish in this film is that nobody says why the racists want to fight the robots. I think all the people who made this movie forgot to put that bit in, but it's okay because I made up my own story in my head to explain it and you can do that too.
The Big Sleep (1946)
This movie SUCKED
I have seen two old movies yesterday but this one was rubbish. It is so rubbish that you may find it impossible to concentrate. Movies shouldn't be like this. It doesn't even have a plot.
This movie is all about a man looking for a missing girl. He sweats a lot in a disgusting way. He speaks with a whiny voice too. I just hated him. Then all sorts of weird things start happening and I didn't know what was going on! It was like a calamity had occurred in my brain.
I just got a headache watching this film. It is so rubbish. If they had taken out all the weird stuff and had a different actor to play the so-called hero it would have been better.
Taxi Driver (1976)
This movie SUCKED
I can't believe I just saw a movie called The Big Sleep where way too much stuff happens, and the next day I watch this rubbish where NOTHING happens! They should have evened out the plots and maybe made two good films.
I thought I had seen Vertigo, which had all the driving I could stomach but this one holds the record. He never gets out of his little yellow car. Which means that nothing happens in the film. He just drives around talking to himself. I've never seen anything quite like it, and hope to never do again. Films like this should carry warnings about the levels of driving so people can avoid them.
The music is boring too. It's the same song played over and over and I just don't get it.
Please don't watch this rubbish. You'd have more fun sitting in your own car and driving around doing something productive with your life.
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
This movie SUCKED
This movie sucked. It is so rubbish not even your pets will be interested. If you want to see what the inside of a baby's mind looks like here is the film for you.
My first problem is that the people who made it didn't know if they wanted it in color or black and white, SO THEY USED BOTH! LOL as if we wouldn't notice! Well I noticed and I thought it was rubbish.
The little town with all those children was actually played by grown men. It's stupid to think we'll believe they're children. Another thing I hated was that it's telling a story about four people, and three of them aren't even real. One is a bear, one is a scarecrow and one is a robot. All they do is jump around and sing weird songs at each other like morons.
Not even a baby would enjoy this, so please don't try making one watch it, no matter who it belongs to.
M - Eine Stadt sucht einen Mörder (1931)
This movie ROCKS
Even though it was made in the 1930s this film is actually very good. It is very exciting and even though some parts look rubbish and it is spoken in FOREIGN you will ignore that and enjoy it.
I can say with conviction that this is a film all about the cops hunting for a child killer, which is where the film gets its short title. He is a man who kills children (which is horrible), not a killer who is a child. He is so mean that even the local criminals gang up on him and they want to catch him too. But you must feel no sadness for the man, even though he is hated by everyone. It's not that kind of film.
This movie has some really cool parts that I didn't even know they could do back in those old times, like nice camera moves and cursing. The killer even screams like a pig at the end! This film is very good and if you see it you will like it without any nefarious reservations.
Stir Crazy (1980)
This movie ROCKS
This movie ROCKS This movie is great. It is so funny that I couldn't believe it at all, not even a little bit.
If you watch this film you will discover it is all about two little men with curly hair who go off on an adventure. When they rob a bank they quite rightly get put in a prison, where all they can dream of is to escape to a life of luxury in some other small town. They are allowed out to join a horse-burgling competition and have lots of fun.
This movie is so funny, like killing a wasp right in the face, or when your chickens have gone walkabout. There is even a big fat man who sings beautifully LOL! My favourite part was when they escape from the prison BECAUSE THEY ARE DRESSED AS CLOWNS! The two men who play the two men are very funny. When they speak, amusing little speech comes out (so you can hear them). The one with orange hair looks like a cat LOL and he is the funniest little man since that other guy I like.
The Matrix (1999)
This movie ROCKS
This movie is so cool you will think you have just come back from a refreshing vacation in some place that you might like to go to (wherever that may be). The film is so cool it doesn't even matter where you have been on the vacation you will feel like you have just had.
This movie is all about the matrix, which I think is a place exactly like the planet earth but only it's completely different and is controlled by robots. I'm not sure exactly what it is. The movie did make me feel very discombobulated like an imbalance of apples and oranges, but that doesn't matter because it had explosions and fighting with punches and kicks LOL! This movie is so much fun to witness. It's just so great that I can't even begin to tell you (although I have already told you some things). If you like action that blows your smackers you will not be disappointed.
Dances with Wolves (1990)
This movie SUCKED
This movie is rubbish. It is so rubbish that not even the likes of James Earl Jones wanted any part of it. Other notable actors of the time that are not involved with this film because it was rubbish are Tom Cruise and Judge Reinhold.
This film is all about a man who travels on his horse all the way out to the western area of the United States of America (the USA). When he gets there he makes a little hut for himself and becomes friends with the locals! LOL. The rest of the film is just as boring as that, and there are too many campfires in this movie that are created by rubbing sticks together because this film is set in a time before anyone had even invented lighters! If you watch this film you will feel very miserable, like having too many peas with your steak. I have watched this film and I have come to the conclusion that it is rubbish. It doesn't even have any scenes where anyone dances with wolves, which is probably a good thing because everybody knows that wolves can't even stand up without falling over, let alone dance.
To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
This movie ROCKS
Oh boy this movie is so awesome you will find yourself flying among the Angels when you watch it, or roughly about as high as they fly. This movie is so great it's like finding out your brother is famous.
This film is based on a book, but that doesn't mean it's boring like all that other rubbish. In this case it means that the film is even better than possibly all other films based on books, but possibly in a different way to the way you might be expecting.
The movie is all about a raper who must face his crimes and stand trial (as was traditional in the time and place where the movie takes place, and in that time too). The man who defends him as his attorney is a man with three kids, only one of them lives next door.
The focus is on his kids as they fool around with rubber wheels and various other machinations. The film is told through their eyes, even though they are WAY TOO YOUNG to be attorneys.
I have found it possible to think that this film is one of the most beautiful films there has ever been in the world. Even though I cried during the duration of this film and I usually don't like that at all (in fact I hate it if a film makes me cry because I feel like a baby), in this case I can forgive it because when I cried I had a lot of joy in my heart that made it swell up and make me cry from my eyes. But I did have a big smile on my wet face when I was crying. You will feel the same too if you see it, like dancing with your Grandfather.
The Exorcist (1973)
This movie SUCKED
This movie was horrible to me. It made me so frightened. If you watch it you will be frightened too so you should probably not see it. I don't like it when something frightens me and this movie did that to me. That is something I can't forgive at all.
Even from the moment the film starts where a man is in some sand looking for some stuff he lost, there are big statues and scary music. Then he goes to America and it gets even scarier. There another man who is a priest and he has to investigate the mysterious exorcist of a little girl. This girl has a face that turns green and a voice like a box of smokers, and because she has an exorcist inside her it turns out she does horrible things to herself that make her mom angry. Those things are just horrible in ways you can't even imagine.
Even the music in this film is scary. There is lots of shouting and I just felt so sorry for that poor little girl. This film made me so miserable and frightened. Just thinking about it now and making a comment on it has made me scared all over again. I don't ever want to see it again.
The French Connection (1971)
This movie SUCKED
I have never been in my whole life so disappointed with any film and this one is no different. It is just so rubbish. I hated every minute except for one part that I'll tell you all about in a few sentences. You will not like this movie. Watching this movie is like being told all your tokens have expired.
This movie just happens to be about two cops on the trail of a vicious drug murderer, which coincidentally are the same events depicted in the film. There is one cool part where the cops yell at a man in an back alley strewn with all kinds of trash including discarded hot dogs, newspapers, soda pop cans, paper bags, gum, leaves, filthy bus tickets and cigarette butts. The rest of the movie is rubbish.
The two actors run and shout a lot while they're chasing the bad guy but that cannot save this film. They look miserable all the time, like two men who couldn't be trusted with electrical equipment of any kind. To make matters worse it was even made in the 1970s and has nothing to do with France.
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)
This movie ROCKS
This film is a very exciting film. It is so good that it makes me want to see it all over again, but I can't.
It is a film all about employees on a spaceship who have to find their friend called Spock. After they search the spaceship they start to look all over the universe for him. There is a lot of tension in this film that made me bite my nails off. Where is Spock? Where could he be? Sometimes they think they have found him but it turns out to be somebody else, which is very exciting.
This film is even more exciting than riding your bicycle at high speeds, and the space scenes and special effects are even better than what real space actually looks like. The director makes all kinds of nice camera moves and points right at the action so you know what's happening.
Goodfellas (1990)
This movie ROCKS
This is such a great film that you won't even believe it. It is more great and with more frequency than 12 rubbish films (that have little bits in them that are actually quite good) put together, and that is NO FACT! It's all about a little boy who starts a new job as a taxi driver in a parking area for cars. He buys new shoes, so his dad smacks him with a whip and out of anger he blows up the cars he used to drive around in his little parking area. Then before he knows it he is a fully grown man with a little friend called Tommy! It is a film about the mafia but it's not boring like the mafia films from 30 years ago. People actually get killed in this film in really fun ways like stabbings.
I thought it was so good when I saw it that I said to myself I had to tell the world how much it will like it, so here I am. Listen you, this film will make you so happy you'll want to adopt some kind of pet.
Blade Runner (1982)
This movie SUCKED
This stupid movie is so rubbish that it's been released in 15 different versions and they still haven't got it right. It is just so rubbish that no matter what version it is that you see you will find that version will be even more useless than the last.
The film is about a cop with scars on his chin. He also has cheap clothes and he looks like a man who had just had his marriage licenses revoked LOL! This man is told by his boss (who has a weird face and walks like he has peanuts in his shoes) that he must chase down nine robots that have escaped from a top secret military base, (which is why everyone eats noodles with either beef or chicken, or sometimes prawns in there).
The rest of the film is equally as rubbish. There are really bad special effects all over the place in this movie and none of them look like real things. I expected there to be more spaceships in a film of this type and one of the reasons the film is so boring is that there are none. They don't even have flying cars so this so-called future world is not very realistic.
Vertigo (1958)
This movie SUCKED
This is the most boring film I have ever seen and you will think the same if you see it. This movie goes on forever and never stops ever until it ends. I wish this film had stayed away from me.
It's all about an old guy in a car who is chasing a woman and that's it. There is more car driving in this film than in maybe a hundred other films all put together. He never even catches her! What a waste of time. I'm not allowed to tell you what happens later in the film but trust me you don't want to know. It's rubbish.
The film looks so fake like a cartoon and it was about to make me laugh until I remembered how bored I was. I'd rather tidy my bedroom than see another minute of that old guy driving. I don't want to see this film or anything like it ever again.
Shrek 2 (2004)
This movie SUCKED
This is a rubbish film. It's is crammed full of all the rubbish jokes you can imagine (and some you can't even imagine). You will not like it at all. Even though it is a short little film it wants to cause as much length as possible which can be an extremely dangerous thing. In this regard the film is a conflagration.
The biggest problem you will find is that it's full of lame cartoons of fairies, animals that talk, green goblins and even actual people. None of these creatures look even a little bit like they do in real life, and some of the characters even have disgusting things on their faces. The film keeps starting to sing as if that was realistic and it just adds to the whole rubbish feel that the film has.
The story is so boring that not even little babies will enjoy it, it is so rubbish. Many people have requested mediations after seeing this film and I am no different.
Zoolander (2001)
This movie SUCKED
This is such a weird movie I couldn't understand a word of it. It is too confusing and the plot makes no sense. All the actors keep saying all these different things to one another but it's too hard to make any sense of it. There's a lot of talking.
The film is all about two models (who are men) and that is all I understood. The rest was weird. The actors all looked unhappy as if they had been forced to be in the movie, and the main character looks like he has ants in his pants. At times I thought this movie was going to demand a revenge from me! LOL.
If you see this film it will be a mistake and a waste of time. You will not like it at all. The movie was so bad it made me want to run a brush across my knees.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
This movie ROCKS
This film is really good and you will really like it if you watch it. I think it's excellent. It's just so good. It has everything you can ask for in an action movie including two robots and explosions.
This film is all about a very bad race against the clock (which is on a countdown) and two robots and a boy and girl are trying to get to a mountain to stop a bomb going off. One of the robots is a woman (who becomes naked at the start LOL in a car) but she turns out to be a bad robot who is not on the good side.
Watching this film will make you feel so happy. This is like other robots films but it has better special effects made on computers which makes the film even better.
RoboCop (1987)
This movie SUCKED
Boy is this film rubbish. If you want a robots film you will not find one that is worse.It's just a piece of rubbish on the ground.
The story is so dumb and it goes on forever before it ends. It's a story about a cop who is shot all over the place but still doesn't die, and then he's turned into a robot. See what I mean? This is such a rubbish story. He goes after the man who killed him and tries to kill him back.
This will make you feel so miserable, like coming home to find your house burgled. All the actors look weird and they are too old. The cops in the movie look more like salesmen. The special effects are rubbish which means that when they happen in the movie it makes you point and laugh at how rubbish they are. If they had made more effort to make them look better the film would have been better.
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
This movie SUCKED
This film is so boring it's like watching your grandmother sleep. I thought it would be good and scary but it was boring. I remember that everyone in the whole world thought that the killer was the best ever but he was rubbish and not scary. He even gets caught before the film starts! LOL. How rubbish is that? I think it would have been better if he hadn't been in that prison for all that time and had got out and been killing people at the start. And also if they ditched the other killer because he distracts attention and looks weird..
The film is all about two serial killers being chased by a woman FBI woman and how she brings them to justice, but that idea falls apart under its own brevity because one of the killers is caught! That takes away 50% of the tension. The director did a very bad job and almost all of the camera movements are lame.
At times during it felt like rubbing mustard on my eyelids. and possibly more bad than that!