Jenny Nemesis Reviews

Gladiator (2000)

Standard Action Film meets Costume Drama

[8 September 2003]

A truly APPALLING lack of male nudity for a film about ancient Rome. Really. Why else does one rent gladiator movies but for to get lots of good gore & sinewy doomed slaves oiling each other up while clad in naught but metal miniskirts? Resounding disappointment there, Ridley.

Even the gore itself was disappointing, although there were some rather good mid-air splatters. The editing during the fights was very odd-- the blood looked stroboscopic, fast-motion, as though someone were rushing to get through the fight without focusing on any scary bits. It is possible to have a really good unflinching bloody fight without pandering to the goremongers, but that line isn't reached here.

I quite liked Joaquin Phoenix as the screwed-up little emperor... His eerily pathetic performance was the only one that stood out. Phoenix's costume was nice. The scenery was nice. That exquisite bald Nubian, first appearing naked in the slave-market, was a definite mitigating factor. The historical accuracy was questionable but not atrocious.

But overall, this flick struck me as "Lethal Weapon" without explosions. Upstanding white man with super fighting powers; works for corrupt governmental body; wife & child killed; This Time It's Personal; etc. Just substitute the LAPD for the Tribunal, and you've got this movie, already made.

Grace Under Fire (1993–1998)

Grace is my co-pilot.

[23 September 2001]

I don't understand these complaints about "cliched strong women" and "yet another brassy know-it-all female"-- all TV ever gives us is bimbos as role-models, and you complain about a rare jewel like Grace? Just goes to show how fragile men and their little egos can be. This show was the best of the best. I'm sad the Big Recession had to end and all these Strong Women shows are over, and the Man Shows are back... because we NEED more brassy know-it-all women like Grace. We need an alternative to show our daughters on TV, to keep them from developing bulimia and learning phrases like "Math is hard! Let's go shopping!"

If you had a hideous screeching racist mother-in-law, delinquent kids, a retarded deadbeat ex-husband, and a bunch of goober co-workers at the oil refinery, what would stop YOU from getting loaded? The fact that Grace stays sober under all this is as perfect a role model as you could wish for. The character doesn't (because she's a TV character), and I frankly don't care what the actress does. Grace is brilliant, incisive, witty, vulnerable, and after all, human.

Where else can you hear lines like: "When we're married, we treat our men like vegetables; when we're divorced, we treat our vegetables like men"? All hail.