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Reviews
Bones: The Monster in the Closet (2016)
Excellent
This episode is indicative of this season as a whole as compared to the last few seasons. The directing and writing are above average. They are also doing something atypical of this procedural and using music and camera angles to create mood and atmosphere. While I know who the killer is (I read spoilers in Entertainment Weekly, whose print form seems to have taken on a new mission statement to spoil every major movie and TV series plot line, from Game of Thrones to Walking Dead and everything in between, without a warning--even printing them on the cover. but I digress...) But I really like how they are dealing with it. Instead of being cheesy or rushing into things they are taking their time and really creating a sense of a movie (as the other reviewer stated). Love the title of the episode, too. I would say this was one of the series best (if atypical).
Pacific Heat (2016)
Why don't people like this??? It's great!
I have no idea why people are hating on this show. I love it's dark humor (Monkey Dust is a personal favorite of mine), the rapid fire delivery (so you never know when a joke is coming (just like Harvey Birman, Attorney at Law). Yes, a lot of the jokes are dumb, but so are they in most comedies. The animation style is rough, true, but who cares? If you are watching a show for beautiful animation ... what show ARE you satisfied with? And the animation is rough in other shows, too, like The Life and Times and Tim and South Park, etc. That doesn't make them bad shows. And if you can't understand what they are saying that is your problem. True, the fast line delivery and the fact the characters talk over each other does make some of the dialogue difficult to make it, but that is its comedy style and I love it. It is one of those shows that will pay off on multiple viewings where you will catch things you missed on the first viewing. If you love twisted, dumb, dry humor you should like this a lot. Thank you Netflix for bringing the show to my attention.
Day of the Woman (1978)
Bad
I'm surprised (well, maybe not), but all the people who like this movie. I get the revenge angle, which is the only thing that saves it from being straight-up porn. But the rape scenes are very violent and features TONS of nudity. That makes it an exploitation film. A film that exploits women. Maybe it could have risen above that by not showing so much nudity or by showing male nudity, also (thus making the movie "raw" and "real", rather than just sleazy.) if they can edit the men's privates out than why not the woman's? Because they are catering to men who are either into the rape fantasy thing or are too dumb to realize it is NOT a feminist picture. Calling it Day of the Woman or having the woman get revenge does not save it from being exploitative. It just means they are trying to make excuses for what they are trying to get away with. It's very cheaply and poorly made and really isn't worth your time. Unless you're a wanna-be rapist.
Pet Sematary (1989)
Awful, but fun
I don't see how anyone can actually think this is a GOOD movie; it is not. The acting is atrocious, except for Fred Gwynne who manages to recite his corny lines with sincerity but without overacting. Everyone else, Dale, Denise and especially the little girl are absolutely atrocious, as is the actor playing the dead guy (he overacts; he seems to think he's in a Gothic ghost story). I think this may very well be the worst acted Hollywood movie I have ever seen.
Mary Lambert, best known as the director behind Madonna's Like a Prayer and Like a Virgin videos (among others), doesn't seem to understand how humans act or speak. Stephen King novels and scripts are very hard to adapt because his words and description that work on the page are ridiculous when spoken or acted out. A director needs to know when to be literal and when to apply use of "director's license" to make gibberish and nonsense seem believable. There are some fun scenes ("Now I want to play with you!) and, again, Fred Gwynne (Mr. Herman Munster and Francis Muldoon), is actually good. But someone better needs to take a run at this book and make into something as wonderful as the story deserves.
The Alfred Hitchcock Hour: The Lonely Hours (1963)
Mid-30s??
Solid episode in the style of Hand That Rocks the Cradle, with a cameo by Juanita Moore (when I suppose shows started having black actors who weren't maids or shoeshine boys, this being the second episode this season with a black actor, following the anthrax episode. And this episode had 2 black actors, counting the maid). Plenty of creepy suspense that could have easily been a movie. But, to me, the thing that stands out the most is that (**spoilers**) we are supposed to believe that not only did that woman just have a baby (that died), but that she is supposed to be or look like she is in her mid-30s?? She is 50 if she is a day and looks it. I like her voice, though, but really, mid-30s? Uh uh.
American Dad!: Mine Struggle (2016)
Great Episode
Why is this ep only a 7.3?? This ep was great. A return to the tone and pacing of classic episodes of the past. The plot was weird and random, the jokes free-flowing, and the "tangent" jokes that focus on minor and odd things (like when Stan compassionately talked about Snot not treating the mineral rights contract with "the right way to do things" in the middle of the intense fight with Steve.) There was nothing bad about this ep. Plus, the past few episodes have brought up characters and character traits previously mentioned in earlier episodes, which is always fun to try and spot.
A 10 is probably a bit much, but I wanted to off-set the low rating.
The Alfred Hitchcock Hour: The Long Silence (1963)
Excellent episode
I don't know why this episode isn't better known. It has an excellent set up, is well-directed and extremely suspenseful. This could have been made into a very good movie. I won't go into details, except to say that it is a woman who has been become completely paralyzed and has lost her memory trying to remember why she is afraid of her husband, and letting others, except her husband, know. Excellent.
Perhaps, because it is part of the lesser-known and lesser-aired hour-long shows, but this has all of the elements of a terrific story and it is a shame this isn't included in the best-of lists that pop up now and again for this show.
Dead Within (2014)
It's not bad, it just isn't very good, either
Very vague, minor spoilers. First, there are zombies in this movie. Only 2 (well, 3, maybe 4), and they are only on screen mainly for a very brief flashback, but they are there. But beyond that I think this could have been a decent little movie. The acting isn't great, but it serves its purpose. The problem is not much happens to string the movie along to its conclusion. I think, perhaps, if they made the subplot with the baby even slighter bigger (or even slightly less implied and more direct) it would have given the movie more depth. And if there had been a bigger "to-do" outside at the end, where they actually could have had a full action/dramatic scene rather than a quick jolt. The movie wasn't about scares, anyway. So why end that way and take away one of the few opportunities to show something happening (other than her opening the front door)?
I Married Joan (1952)
classic comedy!
while the show certainly has a dated feel (it does have an annoying laugh track), the jokes were often clever and Joan Davis was brilliant. no, she was not stealing her schtick from Lucille ball (who i also love). Joan was a ditsy, goofy character long before she made it to television. i believe her physical comedy was actually better and more natural (see the movie HOLD THAT GHOST for a brilliant example.) did they steal plot lines from Lucy? well, having not seen this show in a while (i don't believe this show was ever on nick at nite. it was on cbn, of all places.) but i will say that Lucy's plots were not exactly original either, and being that both shows were on at the same time, it's difficult to say who came first (if it even matters). the thing is everyone has seen Lucy for years and just assumes she did it all first.
Joan Davis deserves her place in entertainment history along side Lucy, gale storm, Imogene coca and Gracie Allen.
The Burning Bed (1984)
Critique the movie, not the events.
Some people seem to be judging this movie based on what happened more so than the quality of the movie. The movie, we must remember, is based on a true story (that took place in a completely different time and place than we know now). The events in the film are real, though certainly dramatized. So, the fact that the police don't help the woman and her family does not support her and how unrealistic it all seems only adds to the impact of the story since it is true. I won't say this is a perfect movie, and certainly it is skewed to make the wife seem completely right and the husband completely wrong (because it plays better for a TV audience to not have ambiguities); but, I don't think it's fair to judge the film based on things that really happened. To look at the events in this movie and not believe they happened is to miss the entire point of the movie. The people in this woman's life pretended not to see things and chose not to believe her. But these things do happen, whether we chose to acknowledge them or not.
Suspect (1987)
pleasantly surprised
i came upon this flick on TV a few years back. having never heard of it, i just figured it was one of cher's missteps to further establish a "serious" movie career. cher as a lawyer? please. but, i decided to give it a try.
i must say it was a pleasant surprise. there are a few subplots that intertwine each other and the main plot, the acting was good and there were enough twists to keep in interesting, without too many to make it difficult to follow. it could have used some touches to fix the pacing and the court case from the 60s that links everything together could have been fleshed out a bit more and a bit sooner. but, in all, the movie offers plenty of suspense and a very interesting story.
honestly, this movie has become one of my personal favs. give it a look.
Cruel Intentions (1999)
Guilty pleasure
This movie is so cheesy, so ridiculous, so over-the-top, I don't know how it ever got made (of course, I don't understand how most movies get the greenlight.) The acting is horrible, the dialogue is unreal and the plot is unbelievable. This movie is terrible ... and I love it. I can't explain it. If this movie were food, it would be a twinkie. Empty calories with nothing natural in it, but you've got to have it anyway. I guess I like to watch the pretty people say and do stupid things. And, I'm not one for girl-on-girl action, but the Sarah and Selma kiss was pretty intense. Of course, if it had been Ryan and, say, Eric, I might have given the movie a ten. It's the teen version of "Melrose Place". It's a lot of fun. Just let your brain take a nap while you watch it.
Magnolia (1999)
Words can not do justice
A long, detailed, epic film, filled with some truly moving performances, though certainly not for everyone. From start to finish you do not know whether to laugh or cry, whether to believe or disbelieve, or even who to like and who to hate. This film made up of a collage of stories that look into just one day in the lives of a group of people who have put off some long-needed soul-searching, and the events that force them to face their painful pasts. Everyone has something to hide and miles of roads of healing they need to walk before they can live their lives in peace; but, on this day, nothing, it seems, is impossible and no secret is too sacred to be unearthed. Or, to put it as the movie often does (in what seems to be a reinterpretation of a passage from the Bible), "We may be through with the past; but, the past ain't through with us." I implore you to see "Magnolia", even if you wind up not liking it. It is truly a unique experience.