Skeletors_Hood Reviews

Margaret Cho: Assassin (2005 TV Special)

She used to be funny...what happened?

[1/10 · 8 August 2006]

Okay, I will officially say that in the legal sense, to be called a comedian you HAVE to be FUNNY!!!! Bottom line! And this was not funny at all, but rather sad.

I have seen Cho's previous films, and I always enjoyed her comedy. Somewhere along the line, she took a huge wrong turn. This film contained no jokes at all, just crude and crass political observations. Cho has stepped up so high on her soapbox that she has forgotten how to tell a joke. Even her impression of her mom was sad and lagging, like even she knew she was beating a dead horse by this time in the show.

Perhaps she should lend her ear to Dennis Miller or Bill Maher, if she is serious about being a political comic, because they know how to be political, and keep it humorous.

Ms. Cho, I will never waste my money on your stuff again.

The Batman vs. Dracula (2005 Video)

Elseworlds animated! And it is good....

[9/10 · 22 October 2005]

Okay folks. Here is my two (or more) cents regarding this film. Let me first start by saying that when I heard that there was an animated film of Batman vs Dracula coming to DVD, I was excited, as this is based from an Elseworlds comic that DC produced many years ago, and I must say that it's one of my favorites. I was also let down when I discovered that this tale would inhabit the world of The Batman. I was so hoping for another animated tale from Batman the Animated Series.

However, my curiosity (and very strong nerd instinct) took over, and I borrowed my friend's DVD to watch, just so that I could scrutinize and criticize this movie. Now, I am not a nit-picker by nature, but The Batman series just never impressed me. The stories had a small spark of originality to them, but the animation was lacking, and there was just nothing there to grab my interest, and I'm a Batman fanatic.

But upon watching this film, I must say that I was very pleased with it. It actually had an exciting feel throughout the film, and the animation was very smooth. The story stayed true to both icons, as Dracula was actually creepy in this film, and seeing the army of the Undead (or Lost Ones, as they are called) brought up memories of seeing them in Batman Dracula; Red Rain, as the artists had to have read this book to make this film.

I do think that Vicky Vale was a bit much for an addition to the film, but I easily overlook it as a Dracula film (or vampire film period) has to have the love interest that needs to be rescued from the clutches of the beast. And of course, I thought that the plot point of finding a cure for vampirism was probably the only point where things get campy, but since this is marketed to a family audience, I can understand that WB doesn't want Batman staking a hundred vampires to death.

Overall, very good film. Give it a shot at least, whether you're a fan of this cartoon series or not. It has earned a place among my Batman DVD collection. Maybe it'll do the same for you.

Robot Chicken (2001–2022)

Oh yes, I have seen the Robot Chicken, and it is good.

[21 February 2005]

If you are a die-hard toy collector....then maybe you shouldn't watch, as toys get mutilated and destroyed. Other than that, this show is hilarious. I urge you to watch, and enjoy the madness. Don't look for a plot, as this kind of show won't really have one, as it's sketch comedy, much like Monty Python, or SNL.

Watching Transformers deal with the problems of prostate cancer is pure madness, and proof that this show will have it's place as a regular in the Cartoon Network Adult Swim pantheon for many months, even years to come. If Toyfare magazine makes it work so good, Seth Green should have just as much luck.

Family Guy (1999– )

Trash in its purist form. Also known as pure crap.

[1 December 2004]

The reason that this show is so popular can be summed up in one sentence; People are dumb.

This show is written by people who are racist, cheauvenist, and immature, but smart enough to realize how many men have low intellects, and how to aim this show right at them. It's psychologically similar to showing videos of bananas to chimps. You get a positive reaction.

Now, I say this is aimed at men because I have yet to meet any woman who likes this show. They may tolerate it for their husbands' sake, maybe even crack a smile or two. Read the comments list....I found only one comment that was apparently written by a woman, and her attitude was not in favor of the show. It's like that other garbage called "The Man Show," it's written for dumb men to enjoy.

First off, the father is not someone who could function in everyday life without several medications and constant supervision (and I must note that I am very tired of any sitcom that dummies down all the men to babbling idiots, though I am sure that some exist, but leave them off the television.) Peter treats his wife like crap. He talks down to her, treats her like a slave, cares little or nothing about how she feels, or her opinions. He has views on women that were common in the 1930's. I've seen him beating her up, ordering her to fix him something to eat, telling her that she can't drive a car because it's illegal for women to drive. He watches Lifetime television, lovingly called "Television for idiots." The writers cleverly pointed out there that women were idiots. He is also racist, but it's OK, because he needs a Jew for only for financial gain. Oh boy, that's funny. Ha ha ha. Now I understand about his singing for "those good old fashioned values." Old fashioned as in decades ago.

Lois is not any better. True, she has some intelligence, but not enough to leave the jerk. But she loves him for who he is. Ahhh, sigh. Get real. She's the dream girl for every dumb man in America; she cooks, cleans, puts out, and puts up with your stupid ass mistakes. The children don't hold any better, as the oldest boy is a clone of his father, and the daughter is self pre-occupied (ok, most teen girls are, I'll give you that). The baby is just a rip off of another big-headed character. I won't say who, but Stewie should have a twin that says "Narf!"

The show is pure garbage. Unlike dysfunctional family shows like The Simpsons and Married with Children, this show lacks any real charm. It's aimed at the lowest common denominator amongst TV viewers, and has no redeeming values at all. Fox made a great move in canceling this show, but because idiots also have a voice, it's making a comeback. I'm half convinced that every guy that likes this show lives in a trailer park, but there aren't that many trailer parks in existence to warrant all of the votes received to bring back the show. That is a truly scary thought.

Criticize my thoughts if you like. But if you really like this show, you probably didn't understand half of what I said, did you?

Mulan (1998)

Why Mulan sticks out as a great Disney film.

[29 October 2004]

I was impressed by this Disney film for so many reasons, too many to list here, but I will go on the record as saying that Mulan has got to be one of the best Disney female characters that ever saw production, in the midst of a colorful and artistic film, that will resonate in your memory.

Mulan sticks out in my mind for this reason. For once, we have a strong female lead, or at the least, stronger than most of them. She isn't counted among the Disney "princesses" line-up. She doesn't want for herself, and she seeks to look deeper within herself to discover her inner being. She isn't like Ariel, who wants to be someone else. She isn't like Jasmine, who sits in luxury, waiting to be swept off her feet by Prince Charming, just like Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and almost any female character that Disney brings to life. And while she does share some traits among this list, she stands out because she does something that these do not. She uses her mind.

Mulan, in fact, has more in common with male Disney leads than the female Disney leads. Mulan is a thinker, and a do-er. She's resourceful, like Aladdin. She is quick to act, like Eric (mermaid.) And she sacrifices herself for the sake of others, like Hercules. She also speaks her mind, even in a culture that does not allow such a thing. She doesn't waste time pining about "will I ever find true love?" Indeed, we see that she has an attraction to Shang (as he was her husband in the legends,) but we see her uncomfortable and unsure of meeting the Match-maker. She begs for her father's life when Chi-Fu came to the village. When you see her make her decision to take her father's place in the army, she does so out of her love for him, valuing his life above hers. She doesn't wish to become a man to see what it is like or for a change. Only to save his life. She later doubts herself and her reasons for going, but she did so because of her inner strengths, something other female Disney leads too often lack. (And it is these strengths that Shang is attracted to at the end.)

This movie also has a simple, but very effective villain, Shan Yu. Though not as memorable as Jafar or Ursula, he is more effective and more menacing because he is not fantastic. By that, I mean that he is not magical, he holds no special power. He is portrayed as a man, and as a man that could have truly existed, performing vicious acts that men do. We see the destruction that his army lays to a village, and when Mulan finds the doll, it shows that Shan Yu left no one living, man, woman or child. This is what makes him so effective as a villain, showing how truly human he indeed is. Granted, the producers did not develop him in any great depth, but they showed enough of him to remind us of his threat to China. Besides, sometimes the better villains are the ones you don't know too much about, or see a lot of.

Of the rest of the supporting cast, I will only mention four of them as being memorable in any real way. Chi-Fu, the emperor's consultant, was a reminder of the way many men looked at women in this culture. He thrusts his head up when Mulan begs for her father's life, and when she is discovered to be a woman, though she is a hero, he is quick to insult her, and to order her execution, simply because she impersonated a man. The other three were, of course, her comrades, Ling, Yao, and Chian Po. Though they were mainly comic relief (almost like a 3 stooges set,) they remained loyal to Mulan and trusted her fully, even after she was discovered. I like them, because they were not discriminatory to her in any way, even trying to stop her execution. When Mulan told them she had an idea to help the emperor faster, they were the first to her side, even when Shang was still reluctant to do so.

Overall, a wonderful movie to the Disney list. If you haven't seen it, then do so, you won't regret it.

And yes, Mushu was a cool character as well.

**** In Response to an earlier post by Phoenix-1 **** To expect any movie to accurately portray history in any way is lunacy. Even those movies that come close to historical accuracy are flawed in many ways. This was a way of telling a story, as any movie is. It can be argued that it tries to provoke curiosity in another culture, but it is also meant to entertain. I would also like to point out that Mulan is really not "historical," like Joan of Arc, but rather she is a legend, much like Hercules and Aladdin, who also come from the realm of myth, stories and legends. And while there is some difference between the original legend and this movie, your examples of how Disney would butcher tales of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln do not compare to this story in any way. Your arguments for comparison should be better applied to Pocahontas, as she was an actual historical figure.

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)

Please, Dear God, someone stop Tarantino before he wastes another two hours of my life!

[7 August 2004]

Whoever told Tarantino that he was a movie director is the same person who told Ms. Cleo that she was a psychic. I'm firmly convinced that the man can't make a movie worth the film it's printed on.

His latest outing is Kill Bill, an homage (cough cough) to old Kung Fu movies of the seventies, but this movie lacks the simplistic charm that old martial arts movies had, insofar that Kill Bill is a poor bastardization of seventies films.

Now, while this film is 200 times better than the sewer slime known as Pulp Fiction, I feel that I must confess that I do like the action and the conflict in the film, however the script was not driven by the actors in the film, and character development was poor. There were many times that I felt that the violence was being gratuitous, and the lawn sprinkler effects of the gushing blood was very laughable, at best.

Uma Thurman gave a very shallow performance in this movie as well, and maybe that helped her character a bit, but it didn't make the bride compelling. And i find it very hard to believe that Thurman could take out the entire Yakuza in a restaurant, when she couldn't take out Alicia Silverstone in Batman & Robin (which is also better than Pulp Fiction). Not to mention that she has very ugly feet (ugghhh!!).

All in all, about 50/50, in my book. I will say that it may be worth a watch, and eventually, when the DVD is in the $5.50 bin at Wal-Mart, maybe even worth a purchase. If you like Tarantino films, you may like this film, otherwise approach with caution.

5/10 stars

X-Men: Evolution (2000–2003)

The best X-men cartoon ever!! Claws down!!

[2 July 2004]

For those that despise this cartoon because it takes liberties, then change the freaking channel, bub, and shut the hell up.

For those who remember the early early days of X-men, they were all teenagers in a school, learning to use their powers to benefit mankind. Well, in comic book continuity, these characters have all grown up, married, divorced, died, betrayed their friends, etc etc etc.

This cartoon went back to the basic principle that Stan Lee and Jack Kirby started out with back in the 60's. And it's revamped itself to fit today's standards and cultural influences. I like to see it as an animated version of the "Ultimate X-Men" title that marvel is producing, which does the same thing of reformatting the story to today's timeline.

And each character in this show is well written to the point that I like them even better than some of their comic book counterparts.

Scott -- we're seeing a leader developing here, but he's still a kid learning to deal with who he is and his place in the world.

Logan -- granted, he's toned down a bit, but he's just as gruff as he is in the comics, and has a better voice than he did in the 90's cartoon.

Kurt -- great interpretation. I always thought Nightcrawler was a little stiff for my liking (given his background), so I love to see him be a party animal, and to be one caught goofing off.

Rogue -- BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG IMPROVEMENT!! I'm sorry purists, but the little Southern belle thing annoyed me to no end! Someone commented that they didn't like this version of Rogue because she doesn't say "Suga." It's called good writing. I like Rogue better as a Goth girl, for one basic reason. Given her power, it would seem to me that she would keep herself isolated and sullen, to ward off anyone trying to get close to her, and the dark depressed goth girl would pull that off, not the friendly southern belle. Plus, it makes her an interesting contrast to Jean and Kitty, who are upbeat popular girls.

Toad -- they took one of the worst characters of comicdom, and made him likable. He works better as a lovable loser, who just can't get a break.

I will also give honorable mention to a couple other characters, like Magneto, who is actually a threatening presence in this cartoon, and Beast, whose transformation in this cartoon makes more sense than in the comics.

The best animated X-Men yet, and it will be very hard to top.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)

BETTER than the comic!!!

[12 January 2004]

Whereas the comic will leave a dry feeling in your throat by how flat its writing is, the movie breathes fresh life into the idea set forth by Alan Moore, and makes it live.

Yes folks, I am a fellow comic book nerd, I love Alan Moore's stuff, but this time, the movie outdid him.

Why am I saying this? I stopped reading the comic some time ago, not because I didn't understand it, or anything like that. It was just very dry. Granted, its supposed to feel like Victorian literature, so it succeeds by being dry and unmoving in the style of said era, but makes a laborious read. I love all the characters Moore pulled into his amalgamation, and his idea works to a point. However, the way he writes the characters, it's hard to relate to them. I never once felt any emotional attachment to any of them, and could care less what happens to them. I just stopped putting money on the book out of boredom. I like to engage what I am reading.

This is why the movie succeeds. The characters are fleshed out, and are not stiff. You can believe that they actually existed, and not as just figures of literature. Skinner is more likable than his comic book counterpart, and shown to be more useful; Quartermain is a hero figure as he always was, not a pathetic junkie rescued from a slow death by Mina. The characters were preserved as literature wrote them, not how Moore used them to his liking. Maybe that's why I like the movie more than the book.

In any case, definately worth a watch. Trash the comic.

A Christmas Story (1983)

If you hate it, then you are a Grinchy Scrooge!

[2 December 2003]

After reading the comments posted for this movie, a vast majority of people really love this movie. And the majority rules! For those that hate it, their hearts may be two sizes too small.

This movie is a classic due to its ability to hold through the test of time. It captures an innocence that is no longer portrayed in family Christmas movies (some dumb cluck listed that Die Hard is a Christmas movie, showing how rednecks regard the holiday joy).

For the ones who hate it, they mostly hate it because they don't know the point of the movie, showing that they won't allow their inner child to enjoy it. The movie stands out from other Christmas films, because it shows Christmas through the eyes of a child, rather that an adult character, a family struggle or third person. Granted, the narrator is the child grown up, and remembering that year in his life, but he remembers his thoughts about his struggle to achieve that one present that meant more to him than anything else. Think to when you were a child, and there was one Christmas that you wanted something more than anything else in the world, so much so that you bribed your parents, cleaned your room, wrote letters to Santa, hit up your grandparents, and any other angle that you could think of to get that gift! If you can remember that Christmas, and what that gift was, then that is why you would love this movie, because you can identify with Ralphie, and his quest, you can remember your own childhood longings at Christmas, and that will bring you into the movie, and bring the movie into your collection.

I give it a 12 out of 10! You should as well.

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

House of Rip Offs...

[2/10 · 20 September 2003]

This impotent romp through the mind of Rob Zombie is dull, unimaginative, unintelligent, unoriginal, and just plain dull.

Rob didn't create this...he took the script of Texas CHainsaw Masacre part 2, stamped a new title on it, ditched the chainsaw, and presented the movie. The characters are slightly altered, but still apparent. And it doesn't help matters any when you're using one of the same actors from TCM 2. When you create a movie that is supposed to be an homage, you don't take from one film alone and hope no one will notice. I had to fight to stay awake through this one.

And to those who found this movie funny -- well, I find nothing funny about sadistic torture at the hands of a crazy family, or a foul mouthed chicken cook who dresses like a clown. If you do find that funny, you need to be watched....very closely.

Given more creativity, this might have been a decent "B" type horror movie, but I'm afraid that CHUD 2 was better thought out than this garbage.

Hulk (2003)

The closest to the comic that you can get....

[22 June 2003]

For those who complain about the movie being slow, and as one review put it, "talky," then you never read the book. Hulk comics aren't about Hulk smashing stuff on every panel. It's about a man on the run, hunted and hounded by those who fear and despise him, in both of his guises.

I love how Ang Lee brought this movie to life. Lee is an obvious fan of the Hulk, and his love of the character is apparent in the film. There wasn't a single moment that I thought to myself "that's not what Hulk is about." The initial tweaking to the origin of the Hulk is fine by me, since all movies seem to do that nowadays with comics. But it made more sense in this form than the original, bringing it to the genetic level, than just a simple bomb going off (though I do like that the bomb is still present.)

The action was awesome, but the story was even better, showing a classic Frankenstein story about the outcome of experimenting with forces out of our control. If you are one who was bored with the movie, then I recommend Van Damme movies that are all action and no story. Hulk moves at the same pace as the comic book does, with the same balance of drama and action.

Eric Bana was a great choice for Banner, and I loved the cgi on Hulk. It was realistic enough to fit into the film, and it stayed consistent in its style and how well it was integrated in with the actors and environment.

Worth a watch, and even more. This will be a DVD purchase.

And the best Stan Lee cameo yet...

Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

Awesome film!

[1 June 2003]

Okay folks, let me state one thing first...I side with the Next Generation series over the older one. The older series has a sterility and/or blandness that prevents it from being totally engrossing. I liked the old show, but TNG is so much better, and its movies follow par in that suit.

Generations was a great film that handed the movie reins to TNG, and First Contact shows how well they can pilot the movies. Wonderful action mixed with drama in a well paced movie. This is one that I can watch over and over again.

You don't have to be a fan of the series to enjoy this one. Among all the movies, it can stand on its own two feet, without any support from the others.

Escape from New York (1981)

Great film!

[20 March 2003]

A fun little film that you can sit and enjoy for the simple pleasure of it, and not be overwhelmed by overhyped special effects that distract from the story or look of the film. Kurt Russell was awesome in this film, proving thathe is one of Hollywood's leading action men.

Snake rules!

Daredevil (2003)

A great movie for comic book fans, and anyone who loved the first "Batman" film.

[20 February 2003]

First came the X-Men movie. Then a spectacle called Spider-Man. And now Daredevil joins his companions on the big screen. Proof positive that Marvel is now making awesome movies, after so many failed attempts.

Like with Spider-Man, this movie keeps the essence of the character intact, including his origin. The movie was also a nice blend of action and drama, a true nod to Marvel comics, who provided comic books with a soap opera approach, making characters struggle with morality, everyday life, failures and victories. For those who claimed there wasn't enough action, then they never read Marvel comics, since the comics tried to tell as much story (if not more) as it did with fights between its characters. I like a story that helps the action along, not not a story that is overshadowed by the action. If that's what you like, most Van Damme movies are going for less than $6.

And I must confess that I was sceptical about Michael Clark Duncan and Ben Affleck. I have never really seen Ben as an action star, but he did great as Daredevil. I always thought of him as a pretty boy actor cast in heart-throb roles. But this proves he has the goods. And Michael Duncan I had doubts about being Kingpin, but he was just as great. I only wish he had more character development on screen, as well as more screen time.

I feel that this movie is well worth the price of admission, and even the purchase of the DVD release. CHeck it out, especially if you loved the early Batman films.

An Extremely Goofy Movie (2000 Video)

Good fun.

[10 February 2003]

First off, ignore the comment made by wileyjp, just a couple down from me. Obviously, though he claims to be a "true Goofy fan," he is quite the opposite. True fans of Goofy will love Goofy in any form, and in any age. He praises the animated shorts that Goofy starred in since the 30's, and hates the idea that Goofy had a girlfriend and a son. Then he never saw the animated shorts where Goofy was married and had a son in the 50's shorts.

Knowing that, the idea of Goofy being a father isn't far fetched. At least he had "a son" instead of nephews, which always puzzled me whenever cartoons were afraid to link any character to a jr version. Instead, we have Huey, Dewey and Louie with Uncle Donald, when it would have made more sense, (and may have been funnier), if he was their dad. I love that Goofy is a father, because he does have a strong sense of family about him, and you can see that Max is his whole world.

The Goofy movies are a great modern story with the timeless Goofy. Though this movie isn't a great as the first, it has the same charm, and the same family connection that the first one conveyed. Anyone can enjoy this movie just as much as the first, and i recommend it to the True Goofy Fans out there.

The Master of Disguise (2002)

It has its moments....

[4 February 2003]

Okay, not the best movie on the face of the planet. Being a Dana Carvey fan helps when viewing this movie. The characters he portrays are very creative and serve the purpose they are created for - to showcase Carvey's ability to impersonate and personify other people and characters. The best one is of course the Turtle Man, who for those renting the DVD, is used more in order to introduce the deleted scenes.

The script itself, well, even the talent of Carvey couldn't disguise how lame it was for the most part. There seems to be little connections between scenes, and they waited too long into the movie before Dana's character started with disguising himself, which slowed everything down right from the start.

If you like Carvey, at least give it a watch, because it is entertaining if you let it be.

Last Action Hero (1993)

Great movie! Those who hate it just don't understand the joke.

[10/10 · 31 January 2003]

Okay folks, this movie is what's called a spoof, send-up, parody, satire, or all of the above. If you were expecting a serious action movie, well DUHHHH!! No wonder you hated it!

I happen to think that it is real clever that Arnold was willing to spoof the genre that he had been trapped in for most of his life. So few actors are willing to do that, even in a bit of fun. Acting is a job, but it's supposed to be fun as well. Not every movie we see is meant to win an oscar. They are just entertainment. Take it for what it's intended.

This movie is on my top five of my favorite Arnold films, because of it's boldness, and the fact that Arnold can be really funny when he wants to be. It's on my top twenty favorite comedy movies, and it's also in my DVD collection. Don't worry Arnold. Your true fans love this movie.

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2000)

a boring waste.....I was unimpressed.

[30 January 2003]

For those with insomnia, this movie would be a great cure. I should know, I nearly fell asleep several times while struggling not to turn off the DVD player. D is just as boring and uninteresting as he was in the previous movie. Great anime does not a good movie make. THe entire movie was arranged so that the producers would hope that the fantastic animation (or lack thereof) would distract from the lame storyline, and overused plot of a vampire falling in love with a human (like Dracula, for instance). And an extreme disappointment that Lefthand, the only interesting character from the first movie, is now as dull as the person he is attached to.

The only good thing about this movie is that I borrowed this movie from a friend of mine...I didn't waste a single dime. I urge others to do the same.

Ice Age (2002)

If you hate it, then chill out!

[23 January 2003]

I loved this movie! The humor was wonderful, I laughed myself silly! Scrat was the best! Definitely better than Monsters Inc in my opinion.

For the person who noted earlier that this movie was not scientifically accurate, I can only say get a life! It's a movie meant for entertainment, not a documentary! Maybe they thought it would be a sequel to "Walking with Prehistoric Beasts."

If you love cartoons, especially computer-toons, this should be on your to-get list. The animation is wonderful, and if your a fan of Denis Leary, Ray Romano or Jon Leguizamo, you'll definitely enjoy their antics.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)

If you only heard cursing, then you weren't paying attention.

[23 January 2003]

After reading through about 8-9 pages of reviews for this movie, the majority of people seem to love it, and only a bare few hate it because of the "mindless" "overdone" "unnecessary" profanity in the movie. And it's these people who should pay the most attention, because they are the types that Parker and Stone are aiming at.

To answer those who ask "How in the world did this movie get nominated for an Oscar?" the answer is simple - it managed to grab the attention of the movie public, and it dared to make a statement in and of itself. The Academy likes movies like that. The cursing was a tool to make a statement, nothing more. The creators of South Park are all for the 1st amendment, but the point they were trying to show is that there are worse things in this world than bad language - violence, war, racism, and Wynona Rider. What would you rather have your own kids caught up in?

The movie also makes a great case for anti-censorship. We live in a country that provides us with the right to choose to see what we want at the movies, read what we want in a bookstore, etc. However, when one parent (like Kyle's mom) decides that something isn't fit for her son, which is HER right to monitor her son's activities, said parent will spread opinion to others and try to ban the movie or book in question. Thus, they take away the rights of others to see or read whatever is being banned without being given he choice. And so toes are getting stepped on, and bad things happen. As in this movie, an all out war breaks out.

So to those with sensitive ears, look a little closer, and see what's happening behind the foul language. You'll see why this movie stands out in its politics. Besides, you might even laugh a little as well. It is a comedy after all.

Toy Story (1995)

Overhyped, over praised, and just plain dull....

[23 January 2003]

Yes people, I will dare to come out as the perhaps only person to truly hate this film. While the animation is groundbreaking to say the least, it doesn't mean that it has a story to back it up. I for one love cartoon movies, but this left a sour taste in my mouth. Maybe it's because in what is supposed to be a kids' movie, we see one character trying to "off" another character, out of pure jealousy. The other toys were just annoying as the chorus, as they, like the leads, had a total lack of any real character. There were some bad attempts at humor that didn't even win a giggle out of me or my family.

Skip it and see Shrek or Ice Age. Better stories to balance the animation.

Cutthroat Island (1995)

Great escapism.

[23 January 2003]

Okay people, lighten up. Yes it has problems, but I defy anyone to find a truly flawless movie. It can't be done.

This movie had great action going for it, as well a a great lead in Geena Davis, who pulls off action movies surprisingly well. A story with a treasure map, betrayal, swordfighting, adventure, comedy, and one kick ass villain to boot. If anything else, it will entertain you, and that is what a movie should do.

And to the person who made comments about the swordfighting...there's a difference between fencing and swordfighting, I'm afraid. Fencing is ballet with swords, with rules and points involved, as well as grace and form. Swordfighting is the complete opposite. See "Die another day" for an example. I have done acting and have worked in plays involving swordplay, and taken classes on fencing. There is a big difference between the two, so to criticize a film because the swordfighting doesn't use real fencing moves is, well, silly.

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Total crap! A complete waste of film.

[23 January 2003]

Why this movie is so popular escapes me. I watched this movie at the recommendation of my friends, who all thought it was hilarious. I found no humor anywhere, only lame philosophy wrapped up in glorified criminal activities. I for one am glad that Forrest Gump won the Oscar over this load of bull. I have never been able to watch anything with John Travolta or Bruce Willis since this came out, and it took me awhile to forgive Samuel Jackson for this movie as well. Tarantino should never have been allowed to direct again.

Skip this crap and rent something else, or you might lose respect for the actors involved. I sure did.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Someone did their Hitchcock homework....

[20 January 2003]

Why do people find this movie scary and others do not? Having spent many of my years watching all sorts of horror movies, I can say that this movie is very eerie and scary, even more so than most of the movies from the last two decades.

First off, the propaganda around the movie sets up that these events really happened, so people see the movie the way many would have watched the OJ trial or the JFK assassination...they weren't there for a movie, they went to see a documentary, so they were a bit freaked to begin with. It also helped the realism along that it was filmed by the actors on video cameras.

Plus, they never show you the Blair Witch, and folks, that's spook genius right there. Rent any number of Alfred Hitchcock's films, and you may see a parallel. What you don't see will scare you more than what you do see. When we watch a Jason or Freddy movie, we are relieved when they come on screen, because we can stay in that "it's a movie mindset." But by not seeing the witch, you mind can't find that mindset as easily, leaving it to your imagination, which can raise your pulse just a little more than normal.

And yes, the movie is slow, but that's part of the whole point. It builds to the climax we see at the end, taking us on a ramp of anxiety, rather than the up and down formula of a slasher movie. Boring? At first, yes. Dull? Only if you aren't paying attention...

Take it for what you will, I see a great addition to the horror genre. And whether you love this movie or hate it, you must admit that there are certainly fewer people going camping nowadays.

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Total crap!

[20 January 2003]

How this movie even got filmed is beyond me. It is nothing but glorified crime wrapped in a lame attempt at philosophy. I watched this at the recommendation of my friends, who both said that it was a brilliant film, and that it had very hilarious scenes. I found no humor, no plot, and no point to this trash. Shame on Sam Jackson for starring in this piece of trash, as well as everyone else who appeared in this film. Tarantino should never be allowed behind a camera again!

Avoid at all costs....you may lose respect for the actors involved. I sure did.