Change Your Image
beezdotcom
Reviews
Home Team (1998)
Mighty Ducks? No, Mightily Sucks.
I can't believe I'm wasting my time with a comment - but this movie is weirdly bad. If 20 different directors were brought in to film different parts of the movie without having any idea of the storyline being filmed by the other directors, this is pretty much the result I would expect.
I also think some of the scenes were spliced out of order - things don't always seem to progress in order. The movie acts like we're already supposed to know about half the characters.
And Steve Guttenberg tries to do manic, a-la-Robin Williams comedy in this movie. Ewww. And the whole premise of putting an ex-con in charge of a bunch of kids just doesn't seem realistic in this day and age.
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Not a biography, "just" the ultimate Passion play
Many of the critics who have panned this movie seem unaware of the brutality of the original subject matter, and/or are unfamiliar with the very specific term "The Passion" as it pertains to the account of Christ's final hours.
If you come to this film expecting a full biography of Jesus, you will have come with false expectations. However, if you have never given much thought to the brutality of first-century executions, this film might give you a better perspective on what Jesus willingly endured.
For those who think the bloodiness of the film goes far beyond what is written in the Gospels, consider this: One reviewer correctly pointed out that in the earliest days of the church, no graphic depiction of a crucifixion was necessary - everyone had witnessed their share. In our antiseptic culture today, it is worth reminding everyone that such brutality really exist(ed)(s).
Joan of Arc (1999)
I don't get it...
This was a watchable enough movie, I guess, but Milla Jovovich looks NOTHING like Joan Van Ark. John Malkovich plays a lousy Gary Ewing, and I don't know what old France has to do with Knots Landing.
Before you attempt to correct me, and tell me that this movie was supposed to be about Joan OF ARC, stop and think, "whose life is represented more historically accurately by this movie?" - and then I think you'll arrive at the same conclusion that I did.
Special Report: Journey to Mars (1996)
nothing new to report...
plot: space mission gone awry. Many better ones out there. Small twist at the end doesn't make up for the time spent getting there.
vehicle: movie interspersed with "live" newscasts. Done much more believably elsewhere (in many nuke-attack TV specials, for example).
acting: none to speak of. A few decent character actors in this movie, all playing wooden characters.
special effects: think Atari 2600 and shadow puppets.