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Reviews
Cherrybomb (2009)
A dull, contrived and hackneyed concept, cheaply realised and sluggishly performed
If you're looking for a truly forgettable film to fall asleep to, then you'd be hard pushed to beat this slow, soporific piece of celluloid...
The plot plods painfully and predictably along at a pace more suited to a party political broadcast than what is laughably described as a thriller.
The acting wouldn't seem out of place on a TV shopping channel or an ultra-low budget kids TV show. Admittedly, the cast didn't exactly have a whole bunch to work with: the dialogue is nothing short of dismal and the characters are so two dimensional and clichéd that it renders any empathy towards the protagonists nigh on impossible.
Rupert Grint, who gives what is probably the best performance in the film, is about as convincing as a pound-shop wig and James Nesbitt must have either taken on the responsibility of supporting a whole troupe of licentious, crack smoking, compulsive gamblers or be so utterly desperate to escape being forever typecast as a "Cheeky Chappy" that he will LITERALLY accept any other role that he's offered... and if this isn't the case then I shudder to think how god awful the scripts he's turning down must be!
I gave it a generous 2/10
Transformers (2007)
it's fake
where to begin?
this was without doubt the grainiest film i've seen in a cinema. seriously, i've watched pirated films that had better picture quality.
the robots were cool as (expletive deleted) but the cgi was overdone.
...and the script, well...
that was nothing short of appalling.
michael bay has demonstrated once more that he cannot be trusted to make films.
the only plus point i can think of is the "dogging" reference bay managed to slip past the censors.
Fifty Pills (2006)
almost "laugh-out-loud-funny"
Having seen "Fifty Pills" last night and subsequently discovered it's score of 3/10 on IMDb, I feel the need to redress the situation.
OK, so it's not the greatest of films ever made in the already massively over subscribed college-comedy genre but it is by no means the worst. "Fifty Pills" is relatively well scripted, and, with one or two exceptions the actors play their parts well; making a good job of portraying believable characters.
Some of the jokes are obvious and predictable, but there was more than one moment when the humour leapt at us with the unexpected voracity of a demonically possessed ferret.
Most importantly, the film flowed well and there were no moments when my concentration wandered towards the events outside of Theo Avgerinos' creation. At just over 75 minutes, the movie was exactly the right length.
The aspects of "Fifty Pills" that let it down for me were the poor dialogue in scenes involving Darren's parents, and the over use of one or two running jokes.
I give this film 6 out of 10.