jimmiemanning Reviews

ABC Afterschool Specials: The Almost Royal Family (1984) Season 13, Episode 3

Not sure what the moral of the story was supposed to be -- but what fun!

[9/10 · 4 January 2008]

This was one of our favorite ABC After School Specials growing up. Like the other comment says, a family inherits an island that is not claimed by either the US or Canada -- and when they put a clothing item up on a flag pole so someone can find the island they are on, this is mistaken for a symbol that they are starting their own country.

I can't remember much else, but I do remember that Sarah Jessica Parker's character idolizes Princess Di; and that she learns being a princess is not as much fun as it appears to be from reading magazines. If I remember correctly, though, a hot prince comes to hang with her and she is smitten.

I'm not sure what the moral of the story was supposed to be -- most of the ABC After School Specials carried messages -- but maybe it was to show that being famous and important is not all it looks like it may be. Whatever the case, when my brothers and sisters and I saw this on, we cheered and were glued to the television set.

Manna from Heaven (2002)

I was begging someone to jab me to death with a spoon

[2/10 · 15 September 2002]

We were waiting in line to see The Good Girl, an excellent movie starring Jennifer Aniston, when some lady came up with this cheapo mock twenty dollar bill advertising MANNA FROM HEAVEN. "Come see this movie!" she said. "You'll love it!"

She then introduced us to the director of the film. Now, this should have been our first clue. I mean, in how many cinematic situations do you have the director of the film standing out in the lobby begging people to see it? "Is this a Christian film?" I asked, not really caring one way or the other. I love Jesus. No shame in that. "No!" she said defensively. What a load of crap.

This movie is BAD. So bad. And it's not only because of the obvious Christian agenda, but because of the terrible dialogue, acting that alternates between wooden and overexaggerated, and the obvious lack of an editor. The film is way too long. Had it been an hour and a half, then maybe (just maybe) I wouldn't have had to visit the suicide prevention center after seeing the movie.

Actually, I lie. See, after an hour of this garbage we snuck into SWIMFAN. At least with SWIMFAN we know it's garbage before going in to see the movie. We know to brace ourselves. And SWIMFAN has hot half-naked people. The only thing half-naked in this film is the desperation of the stars involved whose obvious lack of script offers is anything but hidden. And the actress who plaid the nun? It's called a personality. Get one.

The people shamelessly begging for ticket sales in the lobby told me that if I liked MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING, then I would *love* (their emphasis, not mine) MANNA FROM HEAVEN. Right. More like, "If you like GLITTER, you'll love MANNA FROM HEAVEN." And Mariah could actually outperform any of the clowns from this flick. If that's not an insult, then I don't know what is.

I've railed enough. Go see indie films, but don't see the bad ones. This is definitely one of the bad ones. MANNA FROM HEAVEN is in need of some divine intervention.