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Reviews
Mail Order Bride (2003)
Head's Up To Stern Fans
A completely original premise - Italian mobsters who curse and, are you sitting down, live in NEW JERSEY; remind you of anything? Not horrible, but a very straight-to-video production. There are a few laughs and only one embarrassingly unfunny scene (the "number one doctor in Russia" played by the late Frank "I should have sued my agent" Gorshin, who I MET, best known as the Riddler from '60s Batman). Wesley Willis fans will LOVE the romantic ballad "Stay Here In My Heart." Seriously though, the only real reason to check this movie out (which is the only reason I checked it out) is to the see the historic cast that includes both Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling AND Artie Lange (Artie replaced Jackie on The Howard Stern Show, for the four of you who didn't know that). Artie is (I'm sad to say) disappointing, but Martling undergoes a transformation from "Jackie, The Joke Man" to *gasp* "Jackie, THE VIKING;" I hope he got paid in jokes. I did a search but couldn't find whether it was produced before or after Artie officially replaced Jackie on the show. Anywho, a warning to all curious Stern fans - ARTIE AND JACKIE DON'T HAVE ANY SCENES TOGETHER! That is all.
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
Beautiful!
Earlier this evening, I ventured to the Cinema with the intentions of seeing the twentieth anniversary re-release of E.T. Although I had seen the film several times throughout my childhood on video (though never in theaters due to the fact that I was born five months after its initial release), went on the "E.T. Adventure" ride in Universal Studios, and even watched it a few years ago on cable, I was not prepared for what I was about to experience.
E.T. is a masterpiece. Few films even come close to being this beautiful without bordering on corniness. However, I can hardly put into words what Steven Spielberg has accomplished. I cannot think of a more touching movie, or even one that can come close (I'm not saying that it's impossible, I'm just saying that no other films of this caliber come to mind).
The characters are real, including E.T., and the dialogue is real. Unlike so many other films or sitcoms which feature children, the children of E.T. speak and react like all kids do when they are that age. This gives it universal appeal. Kids like it because it is about kids, and adult viewers like it because they can relate to it, unlike the bulls*** child characters of the brady bunch and full house who speak almost entirely in catchphrases and never have any real emotions or friends.
Like Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo, and Tim Burton's Edward Scissorhands this film is regarded as Spielberg's most personal project. And also like these films, it is probably his best, which, in Spielberg's case (I know it's kind of a cliché, but still), is really saying something. His genius is prevalent throughout it, and would be crap in the hands of probably any other director.
I didn't much like the added special effects for the twentieth anniversary special edition, but I didn't feel that they cheapened the film, like in the special edition of Return Of The Jedi. I think that the special edition is just as beautiful as the original version of the film, and that those who see it for the first time will love it just as much, but they were unnecessary, and the film did look better without them. For example, the suspense is completely removed from, although it is probably the most famous scene in the movie and was not a surprise to people seeing it for the first time, when E.T. saves Elliot and himself by making the bicycle fly above the ditch. This scene in the original edition had much more suspense in it and made the audience believe, even if only for a split second, that something horrible was going to happen to E.T. and Elliot. However, the suspense is completely removed from the special edition where they essentially just fly off the cliff, and noone in the audience is scared at all. Maybe its just me, but I liked that scene better without the added effects.
But, the real beauty in E.T. stems from its view of love and friendship. The love shown in this film is that of friendship, and, to me at least, it is more believable, and more beautiful than any other kind of love shown in any other film, including those considered to be "Love Stories" and "Romances". However, if I knew anything about romance at all, then I probably wouldn't be writing seven paragraph articles about movies for fun at one o'clock in the morning, so I might not be the best source of information in that department.
In conclusion, I personally know people, though not many, who have never seen any of the Star Wars movies before. Therefore, it is reasonable to assume that there are still a few people left who have yet to see E.T. To them, I say see it. Regardless of who you are, how old you are, and where you're from, you will enjoy it. It is quite possibly the most universally relevant, beautiful films that has ever been made, and should be seen by everyone.