DorianWynHowells Reviews

Collateral Damage (2002)

Many will disagree, but I think this is one of Arnie's better films to come along in a long while!

[8/10 · 17 April 2002]

Okay, so he's an 80's action throwback is he? How many people in Hollywood are doing what Arnie does now? He's got loyal fans the world over, and I happen to be one of them and I'm proud to be one!!!

HE dominated the 80's and early 90's, then he began to lose the plot - basically 'cause the films he made didn't have one!!

So now, in the wake of Sep 11th, Collateral Damage is finally released due to the nature and content of the plot.

It starts off brilliantly, establishing Arnie as a 'normal' human being. Then he loses his wife and son in a devastating explosion! I was truly moved! Then of course, he wants justice, and the only way for him to get it, is assuming the role of avenger.

It has all the trademark Arnie dialogue, which I must admit, does mae me cringe sometimes, but hey, that's all part of the package!

The twist, which I worked out (hehehehehe!!) is a nice one. Of course, you know how the film's gonna end even before you've bought the ticket, but that's the fun of an Arnie movie, he never really loses, and we just go there for the corny dialogue and great stunts!!!! so on this biased basis, I'm giving this film an 8/10! Go on, take the mickey, but I can't get enough of the guy.....bugger it I think I'll marry him!!! hehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy!

Proof of Life (2000)

I liked this film. Others hated it...that's the way life goes I suppose...

[7/10 · 17 April 2002]

This is not Russell Crowe's best film by far, but he does well in what is a by the numbers film. Meg Ryan...can this woman get any wetter? she's just impossibly crap all the way through!! Her transition from loving wife to slight two-timer is just not believable...don't know if it's the script or just her acting!

The real good reason to watch this film is Peter Bowman. He has the confidence in all his scenes that people would sell their soul for. He commands attention, and as the film progresses, he does actually strike a chord of sympathy with me, 'cause I know that Crowe is snogging his wife!!

The pace is all over the place, and when Crowe and his army buds go to get Bowman, well, that's the only real decent part, and of course the ending is one hell of an anti-climax!

I'm not gonna bitch and moan, but even though it doesn't read like a supportive review, trust me, I do like this film, I just wanted to highlight the many cons - Meg 'wet' Ryan.

Crowe, Bowman, and the rescue operation sequence are the only things this film has to really keep it two notches above average - therefore, a 7/10 for this film.

Enjoy!

Ali (2001)

What a load of rubbish! I hated 95% of this film!!!

[3/10 · 26 February 2002]

The only good thing about this film is the few boxing matches that are included, the rest is complete crap!

I'm sorry, I know I'll upset a LOT of people by voicing my opinion, but hey, it's MY review, I can say what I want.

Will Smith, at times great, at other times absolute crap. He can't do drama at all, and neither can Michael Mann direct it. The hand-held camera technique, to lend the film a kind of 'documentary' feel was really making me dizzy and I almost walked out 5 times. I think the only reason I sat through the entire film was so I could see the final fight, the infamous 'Rumble in the Jungle'.

I'm sorry, I just didn't like this film. It felt like a very very loooooooong film, and all the pointless music and cabaret scenes were truly irritating. I wasn't even moved emotionally when Malcolm X was murdered, when I felt I SHOULD have been crying my eyes out!! Alas, the director and the cast and the hype amounted to nothing in my eyes.

I hope Smith DOESN'T get the Oscar, he doesn't deserve it. Yes he may have trained for months on end, and got Ali's mannerisms, but he didn't do anything for me.

But hey, that's MY review, and don't be foolish enough to trust my word, go and make up your own mind. And another thing, I went into this film with almost no expectations, and I have to say, I felt awful coming out of the cinema, I was robbed of my money! Oh well...

3/10 - and that's only for the glimmer of potential from Smith, and the opening/final boxing matches.

Erm...Enjoy!

Don't Say a Word (2001)

It'll do, I enjoyed it.

[7/10 · 25 February 2002]

Well, to be honest, it takes a good thriller nowadays to make me happy - Memento anyone?! A good thriller this is not, it's just your average run-of-the-mill film. There are some good parts to be had, but the plot seems overly contrived.

Douglas does well with what is a pretty awful script, he can do this in his sleep, and it's thanks to his grounding of the central role, that anyone will care for the events that occur in this film. Famke Janssen? Just eye candy really, and I'm not kidding, she has no real depth of character in this film, she is a waste. Shame.

Sean Bean? Well, I must say, I was kinda rooting for him in a way, I wanted him to get away with it, but alas, as Michael Douglas got top billing, there was no way that was gonna happen was there?! Is Bean the new Alan Rickman-esque 'Brit Baddie'? Hmmmm, seems to be heading down that road doesn't he? Mind you, if it pays the bills, it'll do eh?

Brittany Murphy? Hard one to comment on, she was either very convincing, or absolutely trite. She hovered in 'I'm PLAYING mad now' mode, and I hate it when actors do that! Having to SHOW us that they're mad, we KNOW she's not all there, get on with the story!

The opening is good, and sets the ball rolling, but when we get to know Douglas and his loving ordinary American family (well, we HAVE to, or we won't really care about Douglas' character, and his feelings and the race to save his little girl!), the pace drops to around...zero. It then builds back up, and up, and up, until it finally gets a little bit silly. But hey, this is a film, and if you look past the obvious plot details and the way things will turn out, you'll enjoy it, mind you, it's one of those films that you will more or less forget about 10 minutes after you leave the cinema.

Soooooooo, if you've seen all the Oscar contending films like Ali, Beautiful Mind etc and are in the mood for a lazy thriller, watch this, it's not all bad, and there are some genuinely good moments. Just felt that it could have been better. Without Douglas though, this film would get a low rating, but I give it...

7/10.

Enjoy!

The Thing (1982)

Carpenter at his very best!

[10/10 · 25 February 2002]

This film is great! It has everything you'd need from a sci-fi/action/horror/thriller. It has great direction, the SFX are outstanding and highly credible, the acting is all top notch, with a cast that obviously cared for this film, the location is terribly atmospheric and the music sets the mood for the entire film.

I will sing this film's praises forever more.

When I first saw this, I think I was 8/9 years old, and I was terrified, absolutely terrified. I now watch it as a 20 year old, and though I have a very strong stomach for gore/horror/blood etc, this film still manages to make me react with disgust and fear. God, it scares me, and the premise? "Who can you trust?" well, that just makes it even more chilling.

The SFX have stood the test of time, and it all looks real. The first time we see the thing try to duplicate the dogs is truly captivating, it is a pivotal scene, and is great to watch, even though my stomach turns!

Kurt Russell. What a guy, as solid as a rock in this film. He is a human being, he has his own personal flaws, and strengths, and he, along with the other great cast anchor this film as far as acting goes.

And what about the ending? Is it just a continuity error, or is Childs the thing? Great way to end it if you ask me, both of them just sitting there in the snow.

If you're a fan of John Carpenter, Kurt Russell and the horror genre, then this film is a MUST SEE!!!

A perfect 10.

Enjoy!

Mission: Impossible II (2000)

A great action flick - no brain needed here, just popcorn!

[8/10 · 21 February 2002]

After audience's complained about the complexity of the first film, they made this film so easy to follow, (to the point of being contrived!) that a three year old child could have understood it, such is the plot outline and structure of this film!

O.k. We have Tom Cruise, sending out 'I am God' signals throughout the film. I can take it. Then we have John Woo's trademark slo-mo sequences, amazing stunts, and of course white doves! I can take it. We have a gorgeous leading lady - Thandie Newton, who captures Ethan Hunt's (Cruise) heart. I can take it. And not forgetting the wonderful Dougray Scott as the villain of the piece. I can take it.

I can take it all. But the plot man, the plot is soooooooo pathetically doctored, it's a kind of a slap in the face. It's insulting! At least the first film made it's audience's think throughout. Who really suspected Jon Voight would be involved in the original? You can figure out the ending to this film in the opening 10 minutes!

Mind you, after saying that, this film is VERY entertaining! (provided you leave approximately 90% of your brain outside as you watch it!) This is first and above all, a popcorn film. That's the simple solution. It's a summer blockbuster, and what better way to get bums on seats than to combine the star appeal of Cruise and the explosive set pieces and direction of Woo?! You have to admit, the combo worked!

Watching this film though, I can't help but think about what Dougray Scott did to his career - he turned down the part of Wolverine in X-Men to do this film. Just makes you wonder, but that's a different story isn't it...?

The final climactic scrap between the hero and the villain is well choreographed and for a minute, I thought that Scott's villain could win, but hey, ain't no-one gonna beat Cruise is there? Nope. Predictable? Yep!

I give this film a 8/10 - I've been generous, I know, but the script, and the plot could have been refined somewhat, but hey, that's Hollywood for you eh?!

Enjoy!

Ocean's Eleven (2001)

An entertaining film

[8/10 · 20 February 2002]

I haven't seen the original 'Rat Pack' version, and to be honest, from what I've heard, I don't want to. So instead, when I heard good word of mouth and read some good reviews, and was aware of the cast, I had to see this!

This film is very slick. Very cool. And very laid back. Perhaps a little too laid back. Nevertheless, this film offers it's audience an entertaining time.

Pitt, Clooney, Roberts, Garcia, Damon, Cheadle. Mouth-watering? Yep! Good old Steve has rounded up a top notch cast here, and the results are very good. Clooney and Pitt work well off each other, and they ground the film.

The locations are beautiful, with Vegas actually looking great - well it is! Andy Garcia puts in a performance worthy of his talents, he is truly menacing without resorting to Al Pacino screams! He projects a quiet menace.

The actual robbery is very good, the build up is great, and the way they do it, is just pure audacity and sure planning.

This film oozes cool. Clooney does well in his role, and is as charming as ever. And when you see Brad Pitt in a hair-piece that looks like a dead cat, I guarantee you'll laugh! That was one of the best moments of the film for me - a 2 second shot! Priceless.

If you've got nothing to do on a Friday night, and you and your mates are restless, go and see this film, you'll come out with a smile on your face I'm sure. And Girls? You should go to see it for Clooney, Pitt, and Damon...and of course the plot, the locations etc etc!

Doesn't deserve a perfect 10, but it did make an entertaining night out!

8/10

Enjoy!

Human Traffic (1999)

Watching this film just makes you want to go out clubbing!!

[8/10 · 18 February 2002]

Every time I watch this film, it just really makes me wanna go out and have a good night! My mate uses "the weekend has landed" speech to psyche himself up before going out! and so do I...sometimes.

This film is a great debut for the writer/director - well done mate!

The acting is great, all the characters are believable and are larger than life! The 'weird' scenes are a joy to watch, Jip's running Mr floppy flashbacks/explanations/visualizations are all great! The scene in the huuuuuuuge pub when everyone stands up and starts singing the mock national anthem is a laugh too. There's loads of comedy here - Howard Marks' 'spliff politics' speech is hilarious!

Oh god, you just need to see this. Mind you, I felt the film did somewhat glorify the use of ecstacy, but hey, that's the truth of the matter eh? At least the film doesn't shy away from this fact. I suppose the film does carry a decent message to it as well - don't take life TOO seriously, you have to let you hair down sometime. And of course the chat in the pub when Moff tries to explain to his mates that he's coming off the drugs is a sure reminder that when the come down's out-way the good times, you know the party's over!

This is at times a very clever film in it's use of the camera, lighting, etc. It was a realised piece of cinema, and a great feel-good tale of mates, love, clubs, and drugs.

Get outta the 'rat race' people!!!

8/10

Enjoy!

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

It passes the time well enough...oh, and it's a good film!

[7/10 · 18 February 2002]

I haven't seen the original b/w, and I haven't seen the stage version either! - I haven't lived - but this film is a good musical.

This film is a fun musical that passes the time easily enough. Rick Moranis (surely that poor guy is stereotyped) and Ellen Greene both do very well in their roles, and they carry the film well. But to me, there are only two stars in this film...

The brilliantly OTT Steve Martin as the Dentist and Bill Murray as Arthur Denton. God! and these two share a scene?! Oh yes, and it's as madcap as hell! I was crying with laughter. Martin's song about being a dentist is spot on, with the guy just personifying comic timing, and what lyrics!!

Audrey II looks cool, and the voice? Wow - "FEED ME!!".

Yep, this film is good, not amazing, but as I said, it does it's job. It entertains and passes the time.

7/10

Enjoy!

Shallow Hal (2001)

A funny film, with a touching message.

[6/10 · 12 February 2002]

The Farrelly Brothers aren't exactly renowned for their sensitivity, but here they begin to show signs of some maturity.

The premise is already cringe-worthy material. Hal, on choosing his girl's, places the bar a bit too high, and to be honest, he's no Johnny Depp. So after a chance meeting with a hypnotist who thinks that Hal is too shallow, he will from then on only be able to see the inner beauty of women, even if they are very large, or extremely thin! I liked this message, but at times during the film, I lost sight of the message, and fell completely in love with Gwyneth Paltrow.

Now this is at both the right and the wrong thing to do. Hal only sees Rosemary as a slim young woman, who is very, very attractive. But if he saw the real Rosemary, he would run a mile! Yes, Rosemary is funny and witty, and that's what her inner beauty (Paltrow) reminds us of, BUT, if we keep seeing the Paltrow side of Rosemary, the actual 'real' her is just a shadow. It's a complex thing to put down on paper, but you'll understand when you see the film.

Jack Black? This is his first major role, and to be honest, he carries it well. Although we know that Hal has a heart of gold, he's still shallow. And to me personally, he does annoy me on times. It's just...sometimes he's too much like Stiffler from the American Pie films, and those Jim Carrey impersonations? Perlease!!! Mind you, it is a Farrelly bros film!

There are some great gags to be had, some really beautiful babes, mind you when Hal is under the 'spell', the really good looking ones are all very, very ugly!!! ugh!

I have to say, what the film tries to say is embraced, as I do warm to it's message. There are two scenes to be had when I was truly moved, if you see the film, you'll understand where - toward the end! It was handled very well, and it immediately hit home the overall message.

So, if you're out for some fun, it's worth a look. Paltrow is gorgeous to look at as always, and there are some genuinely funny moments and there is one plot revelation that will have you 'rolling over' in laughter!!! 'Here boy!'. Hehehe!!!

Not amazing, and not awful, an above average effort - 6/10.

Enjoy!

Pitch Black (2000)

"One rule - stay in the light!" a great sci-fi/horror!

[10/10 · 12 February 2002]

Now this is more like it!! Who needs a ludicrously high budget to get the desired effect eh? This film has everything you'd want from a sci-fi. And everything you'd want from a horror. And there's more besides great SFX and scary moments, there are great three dimensional performances from every cast member, amazing cinematography, and a cracking score which sets the mood of the film! Oh yeah, and of course there's Vin Diesel...

He's tipped to be the new Bruce Willis? Yep, I can see where that comes from. He prefers a black vest though instead of Brucie's trademark white! Anyway, judging by this film alone, Vin Diesel should be going on to bigger and better things, mind you, it's hard to see how he can better this film - he's electrifying in it!! (Fast and the Furious? o.k. I just made myself look stupid! He'll be BIG sometime soon. Is that better?)

This film is a must see for anyone who likes suspense, shocks, great SFX, superb and controlled performances, and a good plot scenario. If that's not your kinda thing, then why are you on this page?!

The usual plot - spaceship crash lands on alien planet, and survivors try to find a way off the planet. But, they encounter aliens which try to kill every single one of them! So, we're on familiar territory. This film gives the sci-fi horror a new lease of life though, and it's mainly due to the new alien species that are in the film. They are really scary!

You know what, I cannot be bothered to write a long review on this film, so what I suggest you do is go and see this film. That's it. That's my advice to you. It's as simple as the plot - GO. AND. SEE. THIS. FILM. There!

Perfect 10!

Enjoy!

From Hell (2001)

A great adaptation/depiction of events, which needs to be seen more than once!

[7/10 · 12 February 2002]

I have to admit, from the outset, I found it very hard to adjust to this film's rhythm and style, but after a good half hour I was settled and in for a great ride. The Hughes brothers have created a very dark, bleak, infested London here. It is shockingly realistic.

Almost immediately, the film offers many suspects as to who the real Jack the Ripper might be. Not trying to sound clever here, but, I knew who the killer was very early on, as I also believe, after many conversations with people, that Jack the Ripper was indeed who this film makes him out to be! And the motive? Ah, the motive is pure gold! I hadn't thought of it like that before, but my God, it makes every bit of sense!

London looks like some kind of ghetto here, and the mood is set for a thriller that will indeed shock many of it's viewers. The brothers do very well not to completely step into the 'slasher' genre - thank God! But the murders, or what we see of them , are very realistic.

Johnny Depp, always a favourite actor of mine, does well in his role as a detective who is fighting, well not really, coming to terms with really, his addiction to opium. Poor sod. As far as performance goes, he is solid, but his accent does, at times, waver between cockney and Australian, but he stays with it, and we believe his performance. Heather Graham on the other hand, is slightly less convincing as Mary Kelly, one of the five prostitutes who have information that is worth their lives. Irish is she? Whatever you say guv'nor. Beautiful though!

The story, if your not concentrating, is kinda complex. You don't need a degree in Ripperology to 'get' this film though, it's a stand alone depiction of one of many theories that surround the Ripper murders. It's gruesome to think that this actually went on.

At one point though, I was so caught up in the film, that I forgot the theory that I had clutched to throughout and created a new one to coincide with the film's narrative...Johnny Depp's 'visions' might not have been visions, it could have been him that committed the murders, in an opium induced state. At the time it made sense, and it still does now, it was a 'Fight Club' type twist that I had conceived. Interesting though!

The supporting cast are great, Ian Holm and Robbie Coltrane do remarkably well in their roles respectively.

The ending is welcome. It makes a change from the Hollywood ending's that are churned out nowadays.

This film didn't live upto my expectations though, but it didn't dissapoint on the whole.

7/10

Enjoy!

Tremors (1990)

I really, really, DIG this film!!!

[9/10 · 8 February 2002]

Tremors. Great concept, great acting, amazing SFX and there's more to be had besides.

I saw this film years ago, oh god years ago, and I immediately went out and bought it. This is a horror/action flick which delivers.

The tremors of the title are these worms, or 'graboids' that live and hunt underneath the ground, and they are the villains of the film.

The action takes place in, and around Perfection, Nevada, where it's population is roughly 13. Of these are 'Handy Men' Val (Kevin Bacon) and Earl (Fred Ward). Ward and Bacon evoke a Butch and Sundance relationship here, and they work well off each other. I like the nice touches that run through the entire film - who has the cigarettes? Who has the lighter? Let's settle this with scissors, paper, rock. All nice little touches to an already great film.

The film also boasts a strong performance from Finn Carter as the beautiful Rhonda. She is intelligent enough to help get everyone to safety, and defeat the worms, and boy is she beautiful! A natural beauty!

People will lap this film up for it's amazing, and not forced, mixture of horror, comedy, and romance.

The first few scenes when the worms attack, are terrifying, as we don't know what's going on - it's far scarier when you can't see the killer! But even when they are in the open, we don't laugh, 'cause they look very real. Great SFX.

The shoot out in Burt's basement is also great - very loud though!!

Well, there's nothing more I want to say except for - WATCH THIS FILM!!!! It's pretty damn near 'PERFECTION'!!! (I should stop punning)

9/10

Enjoy!

The Others (2001)

Forget the Sixth Sense - this is better on all levels!!!

[10/10 · 7 February 2002]

Finally. A ghost story which is amazingly simple yet effective!

THERE WILL BE PLOT SPOILERS EVERYWHERE HERE, SO IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT AND DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANY MINOR/MAJOR PLOT DETAILS, DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW!!!! I'LL GIVE *** TO LET YOU KNOW WHEN IT'S SAFE TO READ.

First of all, let me say - I worked out the first twist. The servants being ghosts and all, but the second one sent my brain reeling in all directions!!! WOW!

***This film is a great film. It uses the simplest of techniques to achieve the highest desired effect - to scare us witless! Doors opening and closing on their own. The piano being played in a room with no-one there. This might all sound familiar to the avid horror/thriller/chiller fan, but it is dealt with very careful means. And anyone expecting a slasher film, go somewhere else.***

In hindsight, if you actually sit down and think about what you have just witnessed, the twist makes sooooooooooo much sense, AND it holds water, unlike the Sixth Sense.

Take the two worlds - the living and the dead. As Grace (Kidman), in the world of the dead, keeps closing the curtains during the day to keep her children safe from the sun, and closing every door behind her so none are open, to the living, it seems that they have ghosts. If the 'intruders' keep opening the curtains during the day and leaving doors open, then to Grace, SHE has ghosts. This is so clever and really plays on a person's perceptions of events. God, I can't even put into words what I'm trying to say. But you who have seen this will definitely understand!!!!

***No beating about the bush, Kidman SHOULD get the Oscar for this film. I havn't seen Spaceck's performance yet, but so far, Kidman deserves it. She nails the British accent, she gives a powerful performance, and she is believable.

The two children are also outstanding, the girl was genuinely creepy at some points - when she was doing the 'red-rum' style two voiced exclamations in the room with her brother.

I'm still in shock I think after seeing this film, it does make you think. Which is always welcome when I watch a film.

Great direction. Very controlled. He knows when to keep us on our toes, or scare us half to death with tension. And there is, to be honest, only one special effect in this film, and that's in the scene toward the end when Grace rips up the papers.

Go and see this film, you will not, I guarantee, NOT, be dissapointed!

A simple and perfect, just like the film, 10/10!!

Enjoy!***

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

A second look and you'll learn to accept it for what it is - a summer blockbuster.

[6/10 · 7 February 2002]

When me and my mates went to see this in the cinema, we weren't really expecting a plot. We just went to see Angelina Jolie's luscious form as she personified the legendary computer game character! Most probably 99% of the male audience went to see it for the same sole purpose, considering it's box office success!

I HATED this film when I first saw it, and thought it was a waste of time and money. But, I have to admit, on a second viewing, I learnt to accept it for what it was and sat back, and enjoyed.

Jolie is great as Lara Croft. She is sexy, witty, strong, and intelligent. Great to look at, and the film plays to that strength, she knows it, the director knows it. Sex appeal is the first thing they had to nail, and they did! The second thing they had to nail on the head were the SFX, and I must say, whether it's in the cinema or in your home, this film is loud and the SFX are great!

The set pieces are also well choreographed and they never really let up until we are completely safe and clear of danger. Mind you though, the film does drag a little bit when Lara 'mourns' for her lost father. But it doesn't really hurt the film.

This is Jolie's film, and everyone else is just background material. The SFX are the only things that pose a danger for the viewers eye to wander away from Lara's physique!

Iain Glen is o.k. as a one dimensional baddie, whereas Noah Taylor is just plain irritating!!! Chris Barrie? as a fan of Red Dwarf, he is welcome, and his few lines are delivered well.

So, all in all, after giving this film a second chance, I enjoyed. The plot is bordering on pathetic, but mind you, it is a summer blockbuster, plots go out the window, it's the visuals that matter the most! Just remember that this IS a film. So, just leave a portion of your brain at the door, and you too may enjoy an hour and a half worth of fun.

6/10

Enjoy!

Blade Runner (1982)

I personally HATED this film!!

[2/10 · 7 February 2002]

I saw this when I was very young, and couldn't really remember it. I'm 20 now, and decided to watch it, but there have been mixed reviews from both critics and fans as to how good it is. And to tell you the truth, I was a bit apprehensive about watching it, just in case I hated it. 'Cause I know there are millions of people out there who regard this as one of the greatest sci-fi films of all time!!!

My simple review is - I hate this film.

It has no pace, none. It just drags along.

It's funny, 'cause I like Ridley Scott. I like Harrison Ford. And I like sci-fi. So why didn't I like this?

It's a mystery, maybe it was hyped up too much, but my argument about the pacing of the film is my main complaint!

The futuristic visuals are great, don't get me wrong, and that's probably where my love for this film ends.

It was just too boring, the only decent part was the chase between Batty and Deckard towards the end of the film.

Maybe the film was too intelligent for me. I know there are all those insinuations that Deckard might well be a replicant, but to me, I couldn't really care less. The film has a message yes, I know, but it just didn't gel with expectations, perceptions etc.

I'm sorry, but this film just didn't do anything for me.

2/10. and that's just for the SFX and the final chase.

erm...Enjoy!

Basket Case (1982)

Oh, no - this film doesn't work, not as a camp comedy, or a horror.

[4/10 · 7 February 2002]

It's been done before. Camp OTT acting mixed in with, to be frank, trite SFX. This film attempts that, or at least for it's sake it tries to, and fails miserably.

I Watched the full uncut version on Film Four Extreme the other night, and had heard a lot about it, so expectations were high - and boy was I dissapointed!!

The actual basket case is the director for even attempting to do this film - they made 2 sequels???!!!!!

Hang on, I'm being unfair. To be honest, I jumped about 4 times in this film, which is good really, and I was repulsed on a few other occasions too, so, the director, or whoever, DID succeed in some of their prime objectives.

But the actual 'brother' that lives in the basket is a mixture of awful 'real time' make-up, and awful, AWFUL stop motion animation. It just looks fake.

'Bad Taste' this is not, as 'B.T.' proved that horror, and OTT camp acting and slightly silly plot CAN make a good film, this one, destroys that notion.

Sorry folks, I give this a 4/10. Which is o.k. I guess. But only decide to watch it under boredom-lite circumstances.

Enjoy!

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Pure poetry in motion!

[10/10 · 6 February 2002]

Oh yes! That's EXACTLY what this film is! Poetry.

The fight scene's are works of literature that no book could try to describe - I'm not even going to insult the film by trying to analyse and describe them!! (mind you - the film itself is based on a book, so maybe you can describe the fight sequence's!)

Some people have bashed this film because of the plot's impossibilities, and the impossibility of people flying, and jumping as high and as graceful as the characters in this film can.

GROW UP!!! Yeah, that's right - GROW. UP. For the two simple reasons

1) It's a bloody film!! 2) Ever heard of the expression 'suspension of disbelief'?!

Anyway, this film is beautiful to look at, and worthy of the Oscars that it won.

The love story is pure tragedy, and I cried like a fool at the end!!!

So, with great set pieces, great characters/acting, splendid direction, and graceful choreography this film is a delight to watch.

Do yourself a favour - WATCH this film!

PERFECT 10!

Enjoy!

Godzilla (I) (1998)

Size matters does it? Well the size of the budget didn't do this film any justice - AWFUL!!!!

[2/10 · 6 February 2002]

I'll try to be nice in my review here....oh why bother, I might as well get it all out eh?

TRITE. RUBBISH. INSULTING. HORRIBLE. SCARY (the fact that they WASTED all that money on THIS!!!!!)

Yeah....that just about sums up my feelings for this film.

This is one film that would have been the best blockbuster of recent years, but the directors and producers forgot one vital element - a plot! There is no plot. The acting is awful, and the SFX? O.k. their nice to look at, but they look really dated now. How did this ever get made? Oh yeah I remember, it was made AFTER 'Independance Day' wasn't it?! Well, that explains it then!!!

Save yourself the time, you could do far more constructive things for the 2 hours that this film takes to resolve itself!!!! And I can't believe they left it open for a sequel!!! Now THAT is insulting!!! not to mention up themselves!!! A good thing to do would be to watch a blank tv screen, your own imagination could come up with better things than this!!!

2/10 - and judging by other low scorers, I'm being NICE!!

Do not Enjoy!

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

You'll need a strong stomach for this one!!

[9/10 · 6 February 2002]

My opening comment is true for 95% of this film - You WILL need a strong stomach to sit through this film!

Made in '79, this film has been banned until now - apparently. A friend of mine saw it, and she commented on the fact that it's most likely the original inspiration for the Blair Witch Project, and a damn good film to boot. I sought out a copy and was not prepared for what I was subjected to....

A group of four filmmakers go into the 'Green Inferno' to make a documentary about cannabalism....they are never heard of again. BUT!!! Before they go, we are given some info on other groups who have tried the same.....THEY too, never came back. Gulp!

So, it's up to Prof. Harold Monroe (Kerman) to find them. He goes in search of the infamous tribe and does indeed find remains of the group. The tension building up to the actual discovery of the tribe itself and the remains of the four group members is good, and there are some great visuals.

The tribe are, and later understandably, scared of the new group, they don't trust them at all. But, after a lot of tense moments, and some brave decisions, the group is accepted, and are invited to dinner!!! Human flesh! Nice eh?! Anyway, this is just a way of getting to the core of the film, and it's many messages.

After establishing trust with the tribe, the group discover the film reels that the other group had used, and eventually the action moves back to New York, where the footage that was retrieved begins to be edited...

And this is when things get horrible. Viewing the documentary footage is very hard, as some things happen which will probably offend. (gee I wonder why it was banned!) The four members of the group are clearly not documenting their discoveries in a traditional way!! Instead they provoke reactions from the tribe - burn their huts, rape their women etc. This in itself is shocking, how could 'civilised' people like these Americans do such things?

This is the ultimate question that the film poses - "who are the cannibals?"

Sure, the tribe eat human flesh and other meat, but through the footage retrieved from the tribe which the group had filmed, the group are the real cannibals. Worse than that, they are the uncivilised ones.

There is one scene where 3 male memebers of the group rape a young girl from the tribe. The poor girl now has to face death, due to her rape, most likely as a sign of cleansing, and freedom from the harshness of her ordeal. But, it's the way that she dies that is at first shocking then hard to take in. We do not see her death, but we see the outcome of it... She is situated on a pole. The pole goes through her vagina/bottom and up through her mouth!! Believe me, it's harder to look at it - you'll need that strong stomach!

To make us as an audience more aware of the group's slow deterioration we see Alan Yates (Yorke) smile at first when he sees this awful and tragic sight, then as he is told the camera is rolling, he changes his tone and expression into mock disbelief!!! Now THAT really disturbed me and made me soooooooo angry!!!!

There is a sequence in this film which also made me slightly on edge - there is a horrific scene of decapitation, castration and further mutilation to be had, and accompanying these visuals is the haunting score, which sets a care-free, light hearted, floating kind of feel. The visuals and the music both clash, and create a very uneasy feeling for the viewer!

The trailer sold this film as a document of real events (Blair Witch?), and for the whole film, I didn't know if the people in the 'real' footage were real or not - it was THAT authentic. At the beginning of the film, a caption reads that most of the material was not edited for the sole reason that the director wished to capture the authenticity of the footage shown. I will not reveal whether the people in the group are actors or real people - it's up to you to discover, determine, decide etc.

This film is clever, horrific, and beautiful at the same time. The locations that the film is shot in are both treacherous and beautiful.

Some great performance's (or ARE they??!!), inspired directing, and a beautiful and evoking soundtrack, make this a must see for anyone. Mind you, after saying that, you should have a strong liking for the horror genre, must be able to think for yourself, and try to question your own reaction to the film's content, and as I have said, have a STRONG stomach!!

This film is NOT for the faint hearted, and it is NOT just another 'video nasty'. This one has a meaning. See it!

9/10

Enjoy!

Miss Congeniality (2000)

Nice. It'll do.

[8/10 · 5 February 2002]

This is an innocent film. It's fun, sexy, and light hearted - just what I need from a comedy.

Yep, I did like this film, I must admit. Bullock shows us that she can do comedy too. She is gorgeous to look at, and the film plays to this strength, but come on, she wasn't really ugly to start with was she! She just needed to brush her hair!

Michael Cane puts in a decent performance, and so do Benjamin Bratt and William Shatner.

The film also has a nice little plot as well, nothing too deep.

All in all, an easily enjoyable film, which gives Bullock a much needed boost to her recent films - Speed 2: Cruise Control? All is almost forgiven!

A sweet 8/10

Enjoy!

Training Day (2001)

This is not your average cop duo flick - this is better!

[9/10 · 5 February 2002]

I went into this film relatively cold and was really enticed to go and see Denzil Washington playing against type. What I was treated to was a very good film.

It wouldn't surprise me if Washington was nominated for an Oscar in his role here as Olonzo, a Narcotics cop who is just a little bent. What? A bent cop? Surely not! Oh yes. There are loads of them in this film, and Olonzo is the most cunning, ruthless and fast talking one to be had!

The film's events all take place on Jake's (Ethan Hawke) training day. He wants to be on the aforementioned Narcotics team. He is very naive though, Olonzo shows him what it's really like to be on the streets etc. and things get a little bit dodgy to say the least.

Good plot structure and two very confident performance's - especially Washington, he is ELECTRIC on screen - make this a great thriller to watch. Hawke puts in a great performance (not a big fan of him, but this film might just make me see his other films!). The film also boasts some nice performances from Dr Dre, Macy Gray, and Scott Glenn too.

So, go and watch this film, and be treated to something that although does follow the rule book as far as thriller's go, but also bends the rules to achieve a nice twist to the story.

9/10

Enjoy!

I Spit on Your Grave (1978)

This film is awful, but it has a scene that will give me nightmares for life!!!

[4/10 · 5 February 2002]

This film is absoluteley AWFUL. The acting is trite. The directing is so amateur that it makes Sesame St. look like a Hollywood Oscar winner!! The editing? don't even go there!

All in all, this film is soo bad that it's painful to watch. But it should be painful to watch because of the events that take place.....and out of them all, only one will stick in my mind for ever!!!!!!

Jennifer goes to a secluded house in the country and she gets raped on FOUR seperate occasions culminating in, what could have been, a disturbing sequence of events. Alas, this is not the case. The rape scene, to me, is mild. We don't really get to see much, and the editing and camera work in the initial rape is awful, and is unwatchable. But the scene SHOULD be unwatchable because of what is happening, not because the film is awful!!

If you want to make your audience's think, or be disturbed, then you should find a way to choreograph the scene (both acting and camera work) so it can achieve the desired reaction it deserves. The rape scenes in "A Clockwork Orange" and "Deliverance" are the most shocking I have ever seen, and this scene comes nowhere near as close as what they achieve.

The men are all stereotypical, and basically we WANT them to die. At least the director made us hate them, which is the desired effect!

The one scene which will forever live in my male memory is the castration scene. Now this IS effective. Why? basically, cos we don't see anything. All we see is the knife going into the bath and Jennifer biding her time as she slowly massages the man's genitals. I was screaming at the screen here, I couldn't wait another second, the tension was unbearable for me, and when the action is done......!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! And the BLOOD!!! OH MY GOD THE BLOOD!!!! What a way to die!! I wouldn't wish that on any of my enemies!!!!!

Anyway, you need to see the film if only for this part alone, this is why I ultimately gave the film a

4/10

It's up to you if you Enjoy!

The Ring Virus (1999)

A good chiller/horror.

[6/10 · 1 February 2002]

A nice idea, and good execution of that idea make this a foreign film to see. The film does have a few cliche moments, but don't let that distract you from the film itself. It's very clever, very scary in bits, and the final twist is worth waiting for.

It just goes to show that a decent horror film can be made without all the blood and guts. I don't think it was better than the Blair Witch Project, but you can see some similarities. It's worth a look, and you never know, you might be pleasantly surprised.

And if you really can't be bothered to watch it, watch out for the Hollywood remake which will either be a total load of rubbish, or a good adaptation - probably the former!!

6/10

Enjoy!

Vanilla Sky (2001)

Great plot, and great cast make this a must see film!

[9/10 · 1 February 2002]

I always thought that Tom Cruise was a pretty boy. I automatically hated him......then I saw his performance of Jerry Maguire, and he was exceptionally good. I then rented Magnolia, and he was good in that too, so since then I've began taking an interest in his films from MI:2 through to this film - VANILLA SKY.

I made sure I went into this film as cold as a turkey - I didn't want to see any trailers for the film, I hadn't read any reviews, so I didn't really hav a clue what to expect, and I'm soooooooo glad, because I think I appreciated the film far more.

This film, may I say is very, very good. It has a great script - even though it's a remake, don't hold that against it! The storyline is very cleverly wrapped around one single event in David Aames' life. Cruise shines in his role, giving a performance which ranges from - dashingly smug, depressed, in complete love, confusion, frustration, etc etc. Yep, it's all here (almost!). His character goes through so much that you MUST give him credit for it.

Cruz is actually very good in this film - I liked her in 'Blow' with Johnny Depp - she does well here, reprising her role from the original, and giving it a fresh new feel, and to top it all - I can UNDERSTAND what she is saying!!

Cameron Diaz is equally as good, if not better as the suicidal, and crazed Julie. Her role was quite a challenge I suspect, as she could have easily gone down the one dimensional 'unhinged stalker' path and given a crap performance, but she doesn't, she keeps it controlled, and unnerving. A career performance from her in which is a vital role to the film as a whole.

Kurt Russell? I've always liked Kurt, and he doesn't dissapoint here, he is strong in his role and come the end, I don't even think he knew what was happening, and to show that on screen, is truly something to behold.

And finally, Cameron Crowe. He has, with this film, proved himself to be more than a 'feel good' director. He has created a world which will captivate his audience. His opening of a completely deserted Times Square is unforgettable - David Aames is a character that fears being alone, and what sense of loneliness would you feel if everything in Times Square came to a stop? Phew! But, that's just the BEGINNING! When we are drawn in even deeper to Aames' world, we are as disillusioned and as confused as he is! I won't give plot details away here, but just don't try to think too much during this film - it'll all be explained to you come the end, and if you are NOT moved to shed at least one tear, then get yourself checked into the closest asylum!!!

****PLOT SPOILER - I THINK**** After Aames' tragic car crash, which some might say had it coming, we witness the 'Golden boy's' transformation, and by God is it very realistic. The make-up is great, and I never once questioned the fact that it WAS make-up. Cruise's performance and the way his 'new face' sits on him is shocking. Of course, the first initial shock of seeing him look the way he does after the accident does wear off eventually, but it does come back to haunt us as it does to David himself. Very clever.

So, to conclude - this film succeeds in all levels of genre that it undertakes - romance, thriller, comedy, and even sci-fi to a degree. It has a good, strong plot coupled with strong actors and characters. Mix all this up with a cracking soundtrack, and a director who knows what he wants and never insults his audience, and you have a film that will make you consider your everyday actions, value other people's feelings, and make one hell of a pub conversation or two.

This is the best film I have seen in a long long time!!

"Without the sour, the sweet ain't as sweet."

A good line, and one I can fully relate to!

9/10

Enjoy!