IdaSlapter Reviews

Betty's Bad Luck in Love (2024 TV Movie)

The problem with this movie...

[7/10 · 26 January 2024]

...was they didn't set up the main character's history where they SHOWED some of her former boyfriend's mishaps. They showed one, which wasn't funny or dangerous, and that was it.

Cut to her talking and talking and talking endlessly about the problem, instead of showing WHY she freaks out so easily.

The rest of the script could've used some more structure, and that nerd potential 'boyfriend' subplot was a cliche 40 years ago.

This is unfortunate because it wasted an overall good cast. The leads, especially Marco Grazzini is so effortlessly charming, he -- and Lacey J. Mailey deserved much better.

The Music Man (1962)

Robert Preston, Robert Preston, Robert Preston...and...

[3/10 · 31 December 2023]

If you love Robert Preston, you'll LOVE this film.

He consumes every scene he's in, and he's in probably 80% of them. That equates to about 125 minutes of the overlong 151 minute production.

Nothing wrong with Preston as an actor, he had a long, well-deserved career. The problem with this film is it was directed by Morton (who?) DeCosta, the man who directed and produced the play, and it shows.

Preston's just exhausting. He literally shouts most of his lines to the back row, chews up every bit of scenery possible, and jumps around like he just had a dozen triple-lattes. (He doesn't dance, unless you call basic tap steps for five year olds, dancing.)

The other problem is that DeCosta, being the producer, insisted that the play be translated to the film exactly as it was on stage. That means including musical numbers that were forgotten 10 minutes after people left the theater back in '62.

Come on. How many of you remember, "Iowa Stubborn", "Sincere", "Piano Lesson", "Being in Love", or "The Sadder but Wiser Girl"? None of these songs are/were memorable, and should've been cut. The film is overlong as it is.

It's nice seeing some of the classic character actors in this, but some are horribly wasted, like the great Mary Wickes. She should've been given a bit of business that was uniquely hers.

If you have it on DVD, it's worth it for 'Till There was You"*, both versions of "Lyda Rose" and "Goodnight My Someone", and little Ronnie Howard's clumsy but cute reprise of "Gary Indiana".

Either that or take a half-dozen valium, and enjoy the show!

*Although, if you want to hear a better version, check out Kristen Chenoweth's on youtube. She hits the HIGH note Jones was perhaps told not to? I don't know why, but anyway, Kristen's version is far superior.

The Lucy Show: Lucy Is a Chaperone (1963) Season 1, Episode 27

PAINFUL Mugging...

[3/10 · 7 December 2023]

Well, I obviously disagree with the other reviewer.

This episode -- and many of the early 'Lucy Show' episodes -- are so painful to watch because for some odd reason Lucille Ball felt compelled to have the cast almost YELL their lines. As if there weren't such things as microphones in the 60's.

It's not so noticeable with Ball herself, but more so with VIvian Vance, and especially Gale Gordon.

But the kids who played her kids -- they're tortuous to listen to, nearly yelling each line to the back row. It comes off as so fake, so unnatural -- and just bad acting.

Anyway, this episode is filled with schtick -- pointless gags to fill the time, that really don't make any sense. Like the BAT that shows up in the cabin and swings around on a cheesy string for a couple minutes. Not funny, but most importantly, not relevant, but just clearly added because they couldn't think of any other gags and needed to fill a couple minutes.

The only reason this might be worth watching is for the early appearance of Don Grady, who of course went on to a decade of success with 'My Three Sons', and ironically, is the only one in this episode who doesn't yell out his lines.

Okay, I'll shut up. :)

The Twilight Zone: Mute (1963) Season 4, Episode 5

Not bad, but...

[5/10 · 5 November 2023]

...it could've been so much better.

The problems with this episode are mainly due to a huge plot hole in the storyline, and the casting. Or better, the miscasting.

Plot holes: We're told and shown that Ilsa can't tolerate human voices. This is demonstrated by tweaking the voices around her to sound garbled along with adding some screeching noises in an early scene. Poor Ilsa covers her ears because she's so tormented by this noise.

But then that problem disappears! For 90% of the rest of the episode, she stops covering her ears. That is until those evil children in her class start repeating her name: Ilsa, Ilsa, ILSA, ILSA, LWSAH, ILLSSHAH, and then worse, when her fellow clairvoyants come from Germany to pick her up and start conveying their THOUGHTS to her -- their thoughts become garbled as well.

Also, Ilsa's apparent telepathy -- and some occasional clairvoyance -- come and go. If she knows what's going to happen, why doesn't she stop her new "mother" from burning the letters that are being sent from Germany? Yes, she can't speak or write, but she could certainly express her anger via a tantrum, or tears.

And while most of the cast is good, including Barbara Baxley, Ms. Baxley is just too old to play the grieving mother. With all the heavy eye shadow and thick lashes, she looks like she'd be more at home playing some washed up lounge singer. Especially when she yells at the teacher in a critical scene near the end. Her voice is so gravelly, she almost sounds like Bette Davis, not some 40-something mother.

Same for Frank Overton. While he was only 46 when this was made, he looks a good 10 years older, even with the heavy 'tan' makeup. He seems very uncomfortable and not because of the storyline. Perhaps he wasn't in good health as he died only 3 years later at the young age of 49. A good actor, just miscast.

I agree with the others though, than Ann Jillian does a great job as the telepathic child. Especially in the last 15 minutes or so when she's required to show and FEEL the emotions she's experiencing.

But the best actor of all in this episode is the young boy who's asked to recite from a book about sailing ships. He's 100% natural, with none of the often grating "I'm a child actor" overacting that comes with some young performers. The episode is worth it for his 15 seconds alone.

The Twilight Zone: A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain (1963) Season 5, Episode 11

Decent acting ruined by TWO GAPING PLOT HOLES...

[5/10 · 15 October 2023]

As others have pointed out, this is an interesting premise with some decent performances, especially Patrick O'Neal's. He manages to be quite believable as the older man, changing his voice ever so slightly, instead of using some exaggerated hokey-creaky type of voice.

Ruta Lee, more famous for her game-show and humanitarian roles, is also quite good here, especially considering what she's given to work with. Walter Brooke, as O'Neal's doctor/brother doesn't come off as well, but that's probably due more to the bitchy lines he had to deliver. Some have called Lee's character a 'harpy', when it's actually Brooke who's doing most of the harping.

But what ruins the episode are the two GLARING plot holes at the climax of the story.

SPOILER ALERT:

O'Neal begs his brother the doctor, to let him try the youth formula he created. One that he's only tried on rats, mice, etc.. He absolutely refuses, until O'Neal not so subtly threatens to commit suicide unless he lets him try it. So he gives in, gives him the shot, and the next morning O'Neal is 30 years younger.

The problem is, he very quickly keeps getting younger. The doc sends him to bed, and before you can sneeze, he's a toddler. Ruta Lee freaks, and the doc then proceeds to lecture her about how now she'll have to take care of her "younger" husband, and in the process, she'll grow old as the baby grows up. She'll be the old one now! Ha-ha.

Except, she WON'T. Why would the baby stop getting younger and start growing older? There's absolutely no explanation at all, and no rationale for him to not continue getting younger. And if that's the case, he'd eventually turn into a...single cell!

Which brings us to the 2nd plot hole: The doctor, who's used this formula on small animals WOULD KNOW THIS. He wouldn't be surprised about anything that's happening to his brother or about to happen!

Twilight Zone was a GREAT show, but Rod must've been on a coffee and ciggie bender to let this one make it to the air without a better ending. Still, worth a watch mainly for O'Neal's performance.

A Brush of Violence (2023)

Could've been great...

[7/10 · 21 September 2023]

Overall, the film was incredibly well done. Quite amazing.

But whenever that's the case, it's frustrating when key parts of it fall short.

First, the positives:

The cinematography by Darren Streibig is Oscar-caliber work. He could, if he chooses to, become one of the premiere DPs in cinema. He has an inventive eye that is so critical to the 'showing, not telling' of what's happening in the story. The director should be credited along w/Streibig in that regard, as apparently they've worked together for years and no doubt share a similar vision.

The editing is incredibly top-notch as well, although a little over-the-top after the lead takes 'the' picture that is supposedly sends her into never-ending guilt and shame for doing what she was hired to do when she chose to take the job in the first place. The editor shouldn't be faulted for that however, as they were no doubt following the director's instructions.

Now, the not-so-positive comments.

This is one of those films that could've been SO much better if only the writer-director had intro'd the main character -- and her nemesis -- with more care. This backstory could've been handled in 30 seconds to a minute, so time constraints are no excuse.

We know nothing about her, and despite a darkroom montage and scribbling on a napkin, don't know why she's supposedly such a great photographer. And we're given no explanation as to why she's chosen by this artist named 'Vio'. She asks "Why would he want me...?" Cop-out answer: "Why wouldn't he?"

Plus, we're not given any reason or backstory why 'Vio' is such a famous artist. Nothing. If the writer had just fixed those two things in the first couple pages -- which could've made us care about the two main characters -- the film could've been so much better.

The actress playing her is SO devoid of any emotion, so bored and aloof, so disinterested in her 'call to action', that it makes it very difficult to care what happens to her. Seriously, if she doesn't care, why should we?

Anyway, she accepts the assignment, arrives at his house (wearing boots we can hear a block away) and once she's inside, for no logical reason, it's dark and creepy. What? No electricity? No light switches? A surprisingly tiresome horror cliché in a film that seems to be and often succeeds in trying to be different.

As she's setting up, we see him coming down the staircase, accompanied by the low, but intrusive hum of 'ominous' music. Too intrusive. We don't need to be cued by the score telling us Something Bad's Gonna Happen. Yes, it's effective at times, but would've been SO much better without that constant funereal beat. In fact, the score ironically exaggerates the LACK of reaction/emotion from the lead actress.

Again, her face is the epitome of indifference. She's detached and unconcerned, with a robotic, monotone delivery that just screams - "meh". When a gun is pointed at her, she's completely unfazed, yet when he slashes his throat, she suddenly freaks out. And during that key sequence, she's completely unable to shed any tears.

The actor who plays the 'artist' is better, and despite his character's abhorrence of light bulbs, at least he has his own reasons to be so morose. The supporting cast does what they can with what they've been given.

My last negative is perhaps my own problem. But I don't understand why this was thought to be so profound. Yes, we're surrounded by violence and violent images. Every kid over the age of four plays violent video games. School shootings have become a regular occurrence. Definitely a problem.

But in this story, the photographer was offered a job, she accepted it. Never second guessed her decision or wanted to pull out. And despite the horrific circumstances, she chose to keep her word and finish the job she was hired to do. She freaks out - who wouldn't? - but later blows up at her agent for telling her she now has the fame she's always wanted, and blames the Vio's partner for everything, instead of accepting responsibility for her choices.

And while it seems like I'm the only person with anything negative to say about the film, director Wilson has stated that he entered 'Violence' in 30 film festivals and was accepted in only one. So perhaps there were others who had similar disappointments? Who knows...

Anyway, despite my silly opinions, the writer-director Wilson is to be commended for working his ass off on this - putting this all together on such a low budget and getting such (overall) amazing results. He knocked it more than halfway out of the park. I'm confident next time it'll go over way over that fence and blow everyone away with the end result.

The Golden Girls: Once in St. Olaf (1990) Season 6, Episode 2

Funny as always, but miscast...

[6/10 · 21 August 2023]

Like 95% of the Golden Girls episodes, this one is full of funny lines, wisecracks and great interactions amongst the characters, but there's one glaring problem with this one: the casting of the great Don Ameche.

He not only looks younger than Betty White, he SOUNDS younger. I'm not sure why they didn't ask him to say, either let his hair go grey, or just make it grey for the episode. But no, it's tinted brown, and that, along with his healthy tan, makes him look like more like a potential suitor for Blanche, but not at all like Rose's FATHER.

The subplot where Sophia gets lost in the hospital is funny though, so the episode is still worthwhile. Just very strange casting...

Carrie (1976)

HILARIOUS...

[3/10 · 21 May 2023]

But not in a good way.

Sorry, but as popular as this was back in 1976, doesn't mean it deserves kudos and praise today. I've seen it a few times, but not for about 30 years.

Watching it now, it's just so horribly dated. The acting is so ham fisted (Laurie) it's hilarious. And it's not just Piper Laurie. Betty Buckley is shrill in every scene she's in, and definitely isn't helped by the implausible dialogue and situations she's put in.

Yes, it was De Palma's breakthrough, but again, it doesn't hold up well at all. The scene between Travolta and Nancy Allen in his car on the way to a party is just a mess. She teases him, he laughs, then out of the blue, he fake (really fake) slaps her, which pisses her off, until it doesn't. Just a mess.

And as others have pointed out, the actors playing the high school students were around 23-26 -- and they look it. With the exception of course for Edie McClurg(!), who was THIRTY-ONE years old when she played 'the fat girl'.

Seriously? They couldn't find ANY OTHER ACTRESS besides Edie McClurg to play that part? It's laughable, seriously hilarious, because she's so miscast.

Yes, the first minute or two is a good setup, and the climax at the prom is the well-remembered horror classic, but the rest?

Hilarious.

A Stolen Life (1946)

OOPS...

[5/10 · 25 April 2023]

Although it takes quite awhile to get going, this film is indeed entertaining, and as others have mentioned, the special effects where Davis is interacting with her "twin" are quite well done.

Having said that, there is a "not so special effect" that occurs right at the worst point in the film -- literally 30 seconds or so before the sailboat they're in crashes against the rocks.

I suppose I wouldn't have noticed it if it hadn't been repeated twice, but just before the boat comes near the rocky shore, there's a shot of it riding a "wave" -- yet it isn't a wave. It looks more like a huge roll of dark rubber linoleum, with the boat glued to it to keep from tipping.

REALLY tacky and, even for 1946, rather embarrassing. After all, the artists at MGM put together a very realistic tornado for the Wizard of Oz seven years earlier. One would think they could've camouflaged this rubber tubing a little better so it wasn't so glaringly obvious.

Don't hate me because I noticed this. Check it out for yourselves and you'll see what I mean. Haha...

It (I) (2017)

Just because it was a huge hit...

[3/10 · 23 April 2023]

...doesn't mean it was a great film.

Just some confounding examples where it could've been so much better:

Aside from the kids who played George, Ben, and especially Beverly (who was great), the rest of the kids weren't very good. But that's NOT THEIR FAULT.

The director, Andy Muschietti, should've worked with them so that they didn't rush their lines, and most importantly, didn't DROP their lines. Especially the important ones.

Instead, some of the KEY lines should've been slowed down a bit, and emphasized. Like when one of them says:

"Or maybe it knows what scares us most, and that's what we see."

That line is delivered as a throwaway remark, when it should've been given some emphasis, and then a few seconds to sink in afterwards. Instead it's just tossed out there and almost covered up by the next line.

So much of the initial dialogue between the friends is SO RUSHED and mumbled so quietly that we had to replay it a few times to get what they were saying. Someone -- especially the director -- but even the sound man and editor -- should've corrected this, especially since it set up their characters and their relationships. This setup was so bad, the lines so rushed, it made us not give a crap about the characters as they all came off like really bad child actors (with a couple exceptions) -- and not REAL characters we should care about.

Also, the "witty" lines they gave Finn Wolfhard (who played Richie), were just SO overwritten, and delivered waaaay too quickly. A 15-year old doesn't talk like that in the spur of the moment.

Then there were huge logic issues. If 'it knows what scares us most, and that's what we see', then why did all of the kids see the BLOOD that the girl saw, and then help her clean up this IMAGINARY BLOOD? Doesn't make sense. Also doesn't make sense that none of that blood hadn't started to dry up by the time they did.

If this clown went after kids every 27 years, why were there only 8 or 9 of them that 'saw' him and were spooked by him?

The only good thing about this film was the performance of Sophia Lillis, who will have a long, long career. Yes, she looked too old for her part, but that wasn't her fault. She's the same age -- or a year older -- than her fellow actors, but a very good one, who knows when to pause, to listen, and to react.

Riverdale (2017–2023)

WHAT THE...HECK?

[2/10 · 20 April 2023]

WOW.

First time -- and last time -- watcher.

We tuned in, figuring that if this show has been on for six years now, there must be something to it.

We were wrong.

It was painful to watch from practically the first MINUTE.

For several reasons, like:

Since when do redheads like Archie have JET BLACK EYEBROWS? Was the budget so low, they couldn't afford to dye his brows to match his head? Seriously, that glaring error was SO distracting.

And why the he...ck, are all the sets so FREAKIN' DARK? Especially everyone's home, but also the diner(!), and almost every indoor set. Again, is the budget so low they can't afford LIGHT BULBS? Or are they trying desperately to hide the obvious -- that the actors are all about seven or eight years too old for their parts?

And is this supposed to be completely serious, or more of a dark comedy? Either one seems eons away from the original comic's intentions, but tonight's episode was so uneven, we couldn't tell. Every time we thought it was supposed to be a serious drama, Cole Sprouse shows up with the Jughead character's stupid CROWN, and again, it just distracts so much from the overall tone.

We give up. You should too.

P.s. We're also miffed that sex-on-a-stick Charles Melton wasn't in tonight's episode, but can't imagine tuning in again if we have to sit through 50+ minutes of darkness, and those black eyebrows with that rusty red hair.

Edit: Okay, we caved and tuned in again, because Charles Melton was on the show. He's easy-on-the-eyes, but tends to mumble his lines, so could only add one star.

Christmas Wishes and Mistletoe Kisses (2019 TV Movie)

Not much chemistry...

[4/10 · 27 December 2022]

As others have said, Jill Wagner is very good. Her actions and reactions are very believable and natural.

Unfortunately the same can't be said for the leading man, played by the charisma-free Matthew Davis. The guy has maybe two or maybe three expressions during the entire movie, and they all lean towards "constipated". He came off like he didn't want to be there, very scrooge-like. I think he smiled twice.

It was indeed nice to see that Hallmark didn't go overboard with Christmas decorations like they usually do. Everything wasn't covered in garlands or wreaths. There were no Christmas trees every three feet in every scene. There was the cliched 'gazebo' ending, but by that time my eyes were practically closed.

And speaking of eyes, while Donna Mills looks great, someone needs to tell her to reel in the jet-black, inch-thick mascara. She's an old trouper, a good actress who's had an incredibly long career -- but those dark-ish eyes seemed more appropriate for a vampire flick. :)

Pal Joey (1957)

The Star of this movie...

[6/10 · 19 December 2022]

...is not Frank Sinatra, and it's not Kim Novak either.

It's Rita Hayworth. Poor, forlorn Rita Hayworth.

She's not given anywhere the credit she deserves for her valiant efforts in this film. Of course she couldn't have played Novak's part, but she looks so world-weary in her role -- even in the scenes where she's supposed to be happy.

There are some beautiful shots of her, where the lighting, the color, etc., is just right -- so she looks the part, even though she was only 39 at the time. But in other shots, even with many layers of makeup, one can still see the dark circles under her eyes, the ravages of trying to be 'Rita Hayworth', hounded by the press, the gossip magazines, and her own life-long insecurities.

The fact that she holds her head up high and gives this as much as she's got is a testament to her need to prove herself -- even if it's only one more time.

And she does. During the closing sequence, despite her 'advanced' age (kidding), she's a far, far better dancer and just as sexy and alluring -- if not more so -- than the beautiful but hollow Kim Novak.

Sinatra? Meh...

The Jinkx and DeLa Holiday Special (2020)

Drag is SO last century...

[3/10 · 18 December 2022]

I wish the gay community would join the 21st century and move on from these stereotypical backward-looking cliches.

Drag is basically blackface for Gays. Yeah, I know...I'll get downvoted for that, but only because it's true. Dressing up in Gramma's rags doesn't do ANYTHING to help bigots accept gay people as people just like them. It just reinforces the stereotype that gay people really want to play with dolls and put on mommy's makeup.

Move on kids. It's not the 1980's-1990's anymore. These shows -- including and especially RuPaul's show (talk about stuck in a rut!) are embarrassing cliches that are relics of the past.

Three Wise Men and a Baby (2022 TV Movie)

Very funny, well written...

[8/10 · 11 December 2022]

Why does this have such glowing reviews?

Three reasons:

It's very, very funny. It's well written. And the cast, for the most part, are all equally superb.

Paul Campbell and Kimberly Sustad have hopefully already signed long-term contracts w/Hallmark as they clearly know what they're doing. They're both not only excellent actors with great comic timing, but they KNOW HOW TO WRITE comedy -- and drama as well.

They create empathetic characters with believable relationships right from the start. No line is wasted, no line is unnecessary. A few reviewers have mentioned how horrible and unfunny it is that someone left a baby alone right before Christmas, but IMO these people must've gotten up on the wrong side of the bed and are really angry about something else in their lives.

It's a MOVIE, not a documentary, and again, the way it's set up is credible, as is the resolution.

And while all three leads are great -- both funny and at times very touching -- special kudos go out to Tyler Hynes, who's dry, sarcastic delivery is spot-on, and to Margaret Collins, who matches him line for line. She's completely believable as the mother of these three misfits.

Bravo Hallmark. (Something I never thought I'd say.)

A Fabled Holiday (2022 TV Movie)

Why oh why...

[5/10 · 7 December 2022]

...does Hallmark break up their movies by just fading out to the commercials?

There's never any 'cliffhanger', never any suspense to get one to wait through the commercial to find out what happens. The story just kind of stops, and the camera fades to black.

This was especially evident -- and unnecessarily annoying -- in 'A Fabled Holiday', a decent attempt at creating a story framed around chapters in a Fairy tale. But instead of ending each segment with a page from the book, which asked a question (that may have been answered after the commercial), we see a page -- 'Chapter Four' -- with a storyteller's voiceover that barely gets started, before it just fades to black.

No other channel has their writers write like this -- and sometimes it's so distracting, it RUINS A GOOD STORY.

On all the major networks they get you hooked BEFORE the commercial break, so that you want to keep watching past those ads you see every single day. But not Hallmark. Just let the story kind of fizzle out because hey -- it's time for a commercial.

BIZARRE.

In Merry Measure (2022 TV Movie)

So much potential...

[3/10 · 24 November 2022]

...all ruined by a single actor. (Proof below)

This movie had a lot going for it. Especially the young singers in the school choir. Some beautiful, natural voices -- all without any auto-tuning going on to make their voices sound better than they are.

But all of that was ruined by the irritating, manic performance of Patty Murin. One of the reviewers stated "Patty Murin was adorable in this." Hmm. I'm curious if we watched the same movie.

Ms. Murin mugs mercilessly in almost EVERY single scene she's in, save for maybe three or four where she actually reels it in. Makes one wonder how many dozen triple lattes she has before each scene. Her fake smile was SOO forced, like the late, great Doris Day's genuine smile on steroids. It destroys any chemistry she may have had with poor Brendan Penny, among others.

Don't believe me? Just watch THE LAST MINUTE OF THE FILM, where she and her character's mother and daughter are taking selfies. Murin doesn't just smile. She contorts her face, stretches that forced GRIN, and hams it up for attention.

And again, ruins the entire film in the process. Unfortunately...

The Nine Lives of Christmas (2014 TV Movie)

Suprisingly good!

[7/10 · 24 November 2022]

It took a little while to get going, but I was pleasantly surprised to find out good it was. A large part of that is due to the self-deprecating comedic timing of Kimberly Sustad.

She turns what could've been a cheesy meet-cute into a believably genuine encounter. Because of this key scene, I kept watching and am glad I did.

Brandon Routh was good too. And special kudos go out to 'Ambrose' the lovey-dovey cat who steals every scene he's in.

Lastly, it's refreshing to watch a Hallmark Christmas movie that isn't overloaded with Christmas trees, garlands, gazebos, gingerbread cookie festivals, etc., etc.

This movie proves those 'extra's aren't necessary.

A Clüsterfünke Christmas (2021 TV Movie)

Wow, that was bad...

[3/10 · 19 November 2022]

Not sure what others watched, but this wasn't "absolutely hysterical" with "solid comedy writing" with "fantastic performances" on any level.

This was hyped as an 'Airplane-style' spoof of Hallmark movies, but it wasn't. The 1980 movie 'Airplane' worked because it featured actors known for their work in serious dramas, and had them playing it straight, as they parodied the 'Airport' movies of the 1970's.

This 'clusterfunke' didn't do that. They played almost every scene for laughs, and mugged mercilessly doing so. It was clearly more of a vehicle for Gastmeyer and Dratch, instead of a true parody or satire.

Yes, there were a few big laughs, but that means maybe three or four. Overall, a huge, missed opportunity.

A Cozy Christmas Inn (2022 TV Movie)

Lighten up people...

[3/10 · 15 November 2022]

Okay, bear with me...

At one point in this story, Jody Sweetin's character says, "Did anyone ever tell you, you take this Christmas thing too far?"

The same could be said about some of the fans of these movies. The majority of the reviews for this focus on an earlier version w/Candace Cameron Bure as if it's some Oscar-winning film with Meryl Streep.

Others complain that this movie destroyed their 'happily ever after', because it implies that 'Andy' and 'Lauren' broke up. OMG, two fictional characters in a movie from 2014 broke up, and that means...really, nothing.

It's a MOVIE kids. The characters aren't real, okay? That may sound harsh, but seriously -- many of the reviewers write as if they believed the characters are real. These fictional characters won't affect YOUR 'happily ever after' -- the only person who can do that, is YOU.

Okay, deep breath. :)

Aside from that, this movie was just too dull. I'm not really a fan of the bigoted Bure, but Sweetin doesn't seem to have that leading lady charisma that's needed. Neither did her co-star O'Donnell for that matter. Sweetin seemed irritated and O'Donnell bored out of his mind.

And as usual, the sets were cheap, the budget almost non-existent (Sweeten walks around in a pink coat for the first half of the film) and since when does a hotel room have a Christmas tree in it?

Time to let it go, and move on.

Nantucket Noel (2021 TV Movie)

So many problems...

[3/10 · 14 November 2022]

It wasn't ALL bad, hence the three stars, but this one was one of their worst.

Aside from the tired, recycled plot, this is one of those movies that had so many GLARING issues:

The small town seems to have maybe a dozen residents.

No snow in "Nantucket", despite it being set at Christmas.

About a dozen too many speeches about 'memories', followed by a dozen too many speeches filled with 'old chestnuts' of advice.

Trevor Donovan, you're not 20 anymore. Time to rinse that 'Barbie Doll' yellow out of your hair.

Payton Lepinski, a.k.a. 'Wink', acted like she came from the stage. Highly recommend she watch some old Leave it to Beaver episodes and learn about natural acting/reacting from the underrated performances of Jerry Mathers.

The side characters -- the three-person Christmas theatrical troupe marching around an EMPTY neighborhood -- sorry, that was just painful.

And then the end. While others have complained that the resolution was too pat, and it was -- I thought the explanation as to why the father changed his mind was quite reasonable: He'd been holding on to memories of his wife for too long, just as the Christina character had done so with her mother.

Having said that, her resolution was just dumb. Earlier in the story Donovan pointed out another building that she could move her toy store to, and she rejected it. But at the end, she sees another building up for rent and decides she could move it there, with no issues, no worries about the memory of the mother.

Can anyone spell "convenient"? :)

Best actor: Sarah Power Worst, but with potential: Payton Lepinski.

Jacob's Ladder (I) (1990)

It's funny...

[1/10 · 11 November 2022]

...to see all the glowing reviews for this movie. "Glowing", meaning anything over 3 stars. Because you're in the minority.

In fact, the movie was a HUGE BOMB at the box office -- making less than $100,000 on a $25,000,000 budget. It got an incredibly low C-minus rating from audiences polled on Cinemascore.

At least 'Ghost', which was written by the same writer, Bruce Joel Rubin, was at times entertaining. But even that one, while popular, descended into extreme silliness, with cartoonish 'ghosts' from 'hell' arising from the sewers to come after the bad guy.

Jacob's Ladder would've been a lot better had Rubin written it as the nightmare that inspired him -- of being trapped in a subway with no way to get out. Instead, he wrote this pretentious turkey.

The Twilight Zone: The Hitch-Hiker (1960) Season 1, Episode 16

Unfortunately...overrated.

[5/10 · 10 November 2022]

I found this episode listed on 'The Best of' the Twilight Zone lists, and have to say I'm not sure how it ended up there.

As a few others have pointed out, the idea itself is very compelling. The two issues I had with it were the excessive narration by Inger Stevens -- a lot of what she said could've easily been conveyed with her facial expressions.

And secondly, the fact that her character, who is DEAD, has conversations with people who are ALIVE.

At first, it seemed to work because I assumed this was all a part of her after-death 'dream' or imagination. But right at the climax, she makes a call to her mother, who she learns from a caretaker isn't available, because she's had a nervous breakdown after Steven's died six days earlier in an auto accident.

So...again, if she's dead, how could she be heard and have conversations with anyone who's alive.

Doesn't. Make. Sense. At least in the way it was presented.

Our Christmas Love Song (2019 TV Movie)

Too many old chestnuts...

[3/10 · 31 October 2022]

OMG.

Almost every other line in this movie was an old chestnut like, "Well, as Grandma used to say, it's not the gift that matters, it's the thought that counts." Maybe not every other line, but at least once every five minutes. And that gets tired pretty quickly.

Also, it helps greatly if a movie starts out on the right foot. ANY movie. This one doesn't.

First of all Alica Witt's character plays a famous country star. Her character is seen walking into the Grand Ol' Opry in the middle of the day, completely undisturbed by any fans. In fact, the place is a ghost town. That's not realistic on any level.

Secondly, the big song she introduces during her appearance there is one step above 'Chopsticks', a song with basically two chords, and worse, no feelings. There's no way that song would get anywhere in the competitive music business. Compare this to the opening number in 'Nashville Christmas', and you'll see what I mean. Night and day.

There's another scene where Witt approaches Hine's bar at night. She goes in, and all of a sudden it's DAYTIME. Bright light shines in from every window. O-kay.

On a positive note, the performances overall were good, especially those of the leads, especially Brendan Hines, who plays it all appropriately tongue and cheek. It would just be nice if Hallmark would reel in the stale cliches and do something a little less hokey.

Christmas in Montana (2019 TV Movie)

More like, Christmas at the Morgue...

[3/10 · 30 October 2022]

I know that right away you'll want to down vote this just for that headline, but bear with me for a minute.

There are some good things about this movie. For one, it's not drenched in Christmas decorations like most Hallmark productions. Overall, it has a more subdued, more 'normal' feel than the other movies. Also the actress that plays Martin's daughter is very good, very natural as is the girl who plays her new friend.

But when it comes to the main actors -- and it's really the director's fault -- both leads are TOO subdued, and seem almost annoyed they're taking part in this.

Kelly Martin spends the first half of the movie, if not longer, staring at her costar with a blank, expressionless look -- devoid of feeling or emotion. Like she doesn't care what happens. And if she doesn't care, why should the audience?

And Colin Ferguson is just all wrong for the part. And I can PROVE IT. If you have the DVD of the movie, skip to the scene where he introduces Martin's character to one of his horses -- freeze the frame -- and it's really almost chilling. He looks disgusted by her, almost like a serial killer. Seriously...he shows absolutely no interest in what she thinks, no hint of any charm or kindness. Instead, he has this look on his face like he's telling himself "She doesn't like me, but she'll pay for it soon!"

I know, sounds CRAZY. Yes, there are moments where he smiles and laughs, but for most of the movie, he's very glum, very pale and drawn looking, like he'd rather be down in the basement, sharpening his KNIVES. :)

They're both good actors, just not in this. And again, that's mainly the director's fault.