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Dark Shadows (2012)
Not terrible... not all that great either
Just got back from seeing this film and was highly disappointed. As an avid fan of Burton, Depp and Bonham Carter, I had high expectations for this film. Despite the unfavourable reviews, I refused to believe that Dark Shadows would be a bad film... while I wasn't entirely wrong, I wasn't completely right.
I haven't seen any of the original series, so I don't know how faithful it is (although the general consensus is that it's a rough re-imagining rather than a new adaptation), but I was unimpressed with what I saw.
The movie had a weak opening, crammed with confusing history and topped with a dull, unimaginative opening title sequence. I kept expecting and hoping it to pick up pace and for the quality to improve, but sadly, it just didn't. The bulk of the film is a boring look at a dysfunctional family with a Gothic twist, and the whole fish-out-of-water premise quickly runs thin. The family in question is full of quirky, Burton- esque characters, but none are particularly engaging enough to make you care about what happens to them. The film's third act is a considerable step-up in the excitement levels, yet some unnecessary plot twists leave a foul taste, failing to save the film from ending up a muddled mess. There are a few genuinely creepy moments, and there's no doubt that several scenes will garner a laugh or two, but there's nothing wholly original or inspired on show here. The movie doesn't quite know what to do with itself; it's not quite a comedy, not quite a horror, not quite enough to be a horror-comedy. A lot of the story lines could and should have been left out, while most of the cast have little to do; there are far too many characters that are there purely for show. On top of this, a lot of the movie is just so weird and confusing that it is difficult to see why Burton made the choices he did - for people who are unfamiliar with the original series (probably most of modern audiences) a lot of the film would seem pointless and out of place.
Johnny Depp has his moments as the dark hero (in fact, hero seems the wrong word; his character spends a vast majority of the movie slaughtering innocents. Yes, he is a vampire, and it's in his nature, but true vampires are not screen heroes, despite what modern society has spoon-fed us), but his performance is nothing we haven't seen from him before. There are some silver lining performances from the always- excellent Chloe Moretz, Jackie Earle Haley and HBC, but the majority of the cast (namely Michelle Pfeiffer, Johnny Lee Miller and co) seem to be on autopilot. Eva Green is beautiful and serviceable as the film's villain, while Bella Heathcote is awful and grossly miscast in her large role. There are also some awesome cameos from Alice Cooper and Christopher Lee. Aside from the huge amount of focus on Depp's Barnabus Collins and Green's Angelique Bouchard, the characterisation isn't great (although the pair share decent on-screen chemistry).
The direction is off-kilter, and I expected a lot more from Burton - it doesn't seem as if Tim Burton is directing as much as it seemed like it was another director trying to be Tim Burton. Danny Elfman's score is good, but takes a back seat to the great 70s soundtrack. A huge redeeming quality of the picture is that it looks gorgeous, thanks to great set production, costume design and cinematography. Lastly, the film's marketing campaign does it no favours - advertised as a family movie, the finished picture is surprisingly adult, crammed with a lot of innuendos, shocking jokes about teenage masturbation, a rampant love scene between Depp and Green, a lot of implied fellatio and surprisingly graphic violence. This is not one for the little ones.
All in all, I give the film 4/10. Dark Shadows is a perfectly serviceable flick, but gets weighed down by a lengthy running time, not enough action, horror or comedy to be classed as any genre, and an overall sense of mediocrity. It has its moments, but I'd expect a lot more from everybody involved. Watching this movie begs the question: "what the hell was Burton thinking?". It's not bad by any means, but by realistic standards, it is nothing more than a geek-out from Burton and Depp that leaves little to be enjoyed by the general movie-going audience. A damn shame.
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune (2007)
Unoriginal, but fun nonetheless
When I bought Uncharted: Drake's Fortune, I was really expecting a male Lara Croft adventure, a colossal rip-off of those swashbuckling adventure movies that we all grew up watching, and on many levels I was correct, but without sounding too sentimental, Drake's Fortune had that something special (cringe).
The player is put in the shoes of Nathan Drake, descendant of legendary historian Sir Francis Drake. Nate is the hero of the story, and, for use of a better word, a bit of a sh!t. I found it hard to warm to Drake as he really has nothing heroic about him other than his dashing good looks, and is really just incredibly lucky. We are expected to be fond of his 'boyish charm' and find his arrogance and cockiness amusing. We don't.
Drake is an All-American hero, an adventurer on the search for buried treasure left behind by his ancestor. Joining him on his anti-epic quest are a slutty blonde reporter who's name is irrelevant and an ageing friend named Sully, who frankly comes across as a character from a Michael Bay disaster movie who should be played by Steve Buscemi. Of course, things don't go according to plan, and Drake finds himself going against British baddies who seem to have a better reason to get the treasure than the lead character. Sooner rather than later, Drake finds himself hugging walls and shooting mercenaries and stealing their sexy weapons, leaving you with a guilty felling of 'Did they really deserve that?'.
The best word to describe this game is fun. It's thin on plot, not too good with character development and makes you loathe the title character and hate the awful historical inaccuracy of the game. In fact, this game is so silly, I was contemplating throwing the controller at the screen within the first five minutes of play, but in the long run, I'm glad I didn't, as I grew to love this action-packed bullet fest. Yes, it's more far-fetched than a bucket of excrement from China, but you'll forgive it for providing you with hours of senseless, mindless violence that you can't help but love. Check your brains at the door for this game, otherwise it will seriously anger, and enjoy the cliché ridden plot, attempting to gravely injure the titular character, as I spent the majority of game-play trying to throw Nathan off the highest cliff or get a Brit to shoot him in the testes. Prick.
(500) Days of Summer (2009)
Depressing, but uplifting...
(500) Days is a rom-com disguised as a heartfelt drama. Or vice versa. It's one of the few films I have seen which has made me laugh to stitches and nearly made me cry. In short, it's good.
Joseph Gordon Levitt oozes class in this anti-love story, fitting solidly into the role of bored greetings card writer Tom. Zooey Deschanel is also terrific as Tom's object of affection, looking beautiful and acting well. The two leads are fantastic, even if some may think the film is not worth-while, and with skilled direction from Marc Webb, this film succeeds where so many others have failed; it's funny, sad, gripping, heartfelt and extremely enjoyable.
A top music score helps this film a lot, setting the mood perfectly. True film and music fans will appreciate the quirky, artistic (if slightly pretentious) style, and will excuse the fact that it is a run-of-the-mill indie flick at heart. At times it may seem a bit too art-house, but you'll end up forgiving the film in the long run for generally putting you in a feel-good mood.
Definitely one to watch.