Dreamer241 Reviews

Beastly (2011)

Nothing Says "I Love You" Like A Locked Door

[8/10 · 20 April 2011]

If we have learnt anything about love from Beauty and the Beast (Disney) it is that if you truly love someone you must lock them away. Shove that person in a room against their will, bolt the door and never listen to their nonsense about 'wanting to be free,' what is this freedom they speak of? In time they will begin to realise that beneath your abusive, threatening and ugly-in-certain-lights exterior lies a kind, gentle creature. A creature who likes to feed birdies, reveal libraries and much more-leave it.

Beastly is based on the fairy tale of the beautiful girl who falls in love with a monster and breaks a curse meaning instead of a minging hairy beast, she gets to live forever in a palace with a hottie who's rich. Beauty is a lucky cow. The modern message should be, love them now while their gruesome looking, later a bit of plastic surgery and a makeover and you'll get your fairytale. Just look at Colleen Rooney, she stuck around and she has a millionaire footballer who's really…good looking. Better example, as someone said on Youtube, "the future nerds and fatties of today, billionaires and hotties of tomorrow."

Beauty and the Beast is all about looking past the outward appearance of someone and discovering their personality and desiring them because of who they are. It is interesting to get the story from the Beast/Kyle's perspective of losing your adorable good looks for tattoos…and scars… because those aren't attractive at all! In this superficial world we live in it's easy to see why this loss grieved him. (Read Face-Benjamin Zephaniah) There's a scary moment when you're a kid and you realise you preferred Beast to Adam. Why is that? I imagine that it's because you get to know him as a character and see Belle's love for him grow. Through her eyes we see that he is beautiful and that Adam is…well we all remember the revelation.

I did feel that in the beginning the script was a little too clunky and didn't fit. Oddly enough Vanessa Hudgens managed not to ruin the film by being…Vanessa Hudgens. Of course Alex Pettyfer stole the show with his… everything. You want to believe that he is meant to be ugly but he just isn't. Mary Kate Olsen as Kendra/Witch was also amazing I wanted to see more of her. Hollywood just freaks me out with its weird 'be yourself but only if you're hot' message. In the film Kyle isn't ugly, he's just different which must be frowned upon! You could tell they wanted to take him all the way into emodom but there would have been an uproar- especially from me-about what they were trying to portray. I won't spoil the ending but I think you can guess what happens. (What would an emo Alex Pettyfer look like?)

The sad thing is that Vannessa Hudgens and Kristen Stewart-queens of the frozen face-will still get acting roles. Although I guess my face would be frozen if I was working with The Lautner and Alex (yes we are on first name terms.) So should you watch this film? There is a hot guy in it, it's summer do you want to overheat? It is very sweet in parts though…*sigh*

Tagline: Love is never ugly....unless you're an ugly girl

The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (2004)

Princess gets everything she wants-as usual.

[3/10 · 1 August 2010]

I quite enjoyed the first Princess Diaries until I read the book. The original Mia is a passionate, thoughtful and interesting character. She is nowhere near similar to the candy floss airhead shown in the movies. I often enjoy rom-coms but this was never meant to be one. This was a story about a girl who is invisible because she is smart and cares about things other then hair and makeup. She wants to save the world and if she can't do that she can at least contribute to society.(I was not pleased with the last book, but let's look at the film.) This was a highly disappointing film which just repeated the same mistakes all 'girly' films do. The central message is supposed to be 'You can be anything you want to be, regardless of how pretty and attractive you are.' Yet it is contradicted by everything else. There was nothing funny or even original about it. I suppose if the film is aimed at a younger audience then it is understandable but even so there was no reason Mia couldn't have fallen in love with Prince Andrew. Why did she have to go for the typical bad boy figure. A lot of things weren't explained, where was Michel her boyfriend from the first film. Are we supposed to believe after all that crushing, he would just fade into the background. Overall, very poor.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

Oh My Eclipse

[2/10 · 5 July 2010]

To think I defended this film to people. For them to churn out this absolute piece of rubbish left me paralysed with rage by the middle of the film. Firstly I want to call the main actors, actors. Except what they did on screen was simply read out the lines given to them. It seemed they'd woken up the night before and thought, "hmmm maybe I should actually read the script." Robert Pattison shows very little passion when delivering any of his lines. Except the one which goes something like "It no longer bothers me" Says it all really. Kristen Stewart must realise by now that stuttering your way through lines does not count as acting. Just because you can pause in the right places just means your good at breathing. Any human can breathe. What are we paying you for? Taylor Launter and Xavier Samuel actors who showed any heart but they were stunted by a useless plot and lack of air time since Bella as a character needs constant attention. Yes she is telling the story, I just find it hard to believe that Vampires and Werewolves would all stop to help Bella through her time of PMSing and generally being a dry individual. A lot of it didn't make any sense. Finding out the director didn't care for the movie made sense. The actors lack of effort shows from the fact they couldn't be bothered to turn up to the London premiere, then they have the nerve to wonder why so many people just download the film. The film gets two points from me, those are for a shirtless Jacob. Other then that, it was poor. Now I'm off to give the script to a year ten class. Their portrayal would probably put these so called 'professional' actors to shame. Do they not realise they could and should be easily replaced. There is plenty of young and attractive talent roaming away just waiting to steal their parts. Sort it owt!!!