bjornrhein Reviews

Expend4bles (2023)

Again

[3/10 · 28 May 2024]

If you dont have the money to do cool effects dont do them atall , because it will look like a computer game

I would call this boring action , even when something is happenings its boring, its nothing new, shoot,, make funny oneliner, shoot , make funny oneliner ,, drive fast make funny oneliner

Im not a superfan of the other expendables either but this is the worst of them , story is in line with schooltheatre and so is acting , direction is from another dimension and not in a good way , the only good thing I might like in this mess is thin lizzy played in the end , Boys are back in town,,, its just, , they are not.

The Changeling (1980)

Back in the days,,,,

[6/10 · 26 May 2024]

This was of course cinema material, now its a tv show on sunday morning

Ive seen this movie a couple of times , so it would be more fair to judge it after the first watch , but anyway, this is a kind of movie you miss nowdays, a good written story, quality acting and a high creepy level ,,, not fast written mess with focus on cheap jumpscares

This is a classic ghost story , smart idea but yet I cant put higher rating than 6 ,, its just so outdated, even if I have grown up with this 80is horror and liked it , I cant see it anymore , its the direction, its just sloppy somehow

I think this could be a great remake actually.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005– )

Party at the trollfactory

[1/10 · 24 May 2024]

I refuse believe in people actually like this garbage, the reviews must be from internet goblins beeing paid for give this trash 10 points , I could not even smile at this , annoying characters , stupid, sloppy written and just so bad acting the clock stop

If you want good comedy, read the reviews about this and you will actually laugh alot, finally a good laugh then , some clown though this is better than Seinfeld, now thats funny , love it

No this is so bad its insane, I have nothing good to say about this, perhaps it was a good looking girl in the first episode, so lets give it 1 cause if that.

Elevator Game (2023)

It is what it is

[3/10 · 22 May 2024]

And what is it ,,, its a low budget second selection b clas movie , so just dont expect anything else than that, it will not blow you of the chair

This is not a good movie, and it cant be either with this budget, effects look like child paintings in the background, but acting is ok and story works , its not a complete disaster and in the beginning I almost had a good feeling for this movie, but it stumble pretty fast and then it was downhill

But yes , it work a rainy day when you just dont have anything to watch than babadook or this one,,, you chose this one of course

The story sounds perhaps not that good but actually it work.

Bodkin (2024– )

Move on , nothing to see here

[1/10 · 21 May 2024]

Absolute garbage, seem to be no story atall and simple out of ideas after first episode, strange written and most of all boring, if this would have been showing on an airplain people would walk out from the door

I think its so boring my clock just stoped , some clowns think this a dark comedy , well dark it might be but never a comedy, this is nothing more than a boring drama about a small town with strange people

Acting is good atleast but what good is that for when they all are annoying people

This serie are so overrated , no idea what people like in this, but perhaps it was the locals from bodkin , they were just strange.

Lucifer (2016–2021)

Satan is a spoiled little brat

[5/10 · 21 May 2024]

I tried to watch this when first season came out back in the days but failed in the middle of it and though I never try again, but many years later I gave it a new chance,,, and came all the way to season 5 actually but didnt like it more than the first time

No shadow falling over tom ellis doing this , he is excellent actor and do what he is told to do ,, but I just dont like the character lucifer,, this is an alcoholic sexaddicted dork running around shouting with a corky voice " detective detective "

No , satan is a much darker creature and he dont fall in love , also suppose to have much more powerful skills than this

I just see this as a lost oppurtunity, could have been so much better with some smart writing, now you cant do it again, and that so sad cause this is a good idea

Writing is sloppy as usual , loopholes are everywhere the CGI effects are so bad its insane, it look like they standing infront of a painting but then you discover it suppose to be an effect

But acting is good , and time to time its funny also, and you get little caught in the serie anyway, but just when you start to like it a bit - season 4 starts and turn everthing upside down , season 5 is terrible and what I understand the last season is a disaster so I quit here and have some good memories from it ,, this dont sparkle, its something could have been so much better.

Torment (2013)

Its ok

[5/10 · 12 May 2024]

Ive seen this before when it came out and remember I liked it , now when I saw it again I was not that sure

The acting is not on a oscar level , specially this katharina, look very good but did not play good, the boy is perhaps more annoying than the boy in babadook , also the direction is from another planet, love the father telling his child not to move, you must stay right here and absolute not move, and you must hide,,,,, CUT,,,

But this is not so bad as many says, if you like home invasion movies this is not on the 5 top list but it will be on top 10 I think, I think it deserve a sequel also.

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2007)

Pizza without cheese

[5/10 · 12 May 2024]

Its something missing, except money , but the material is little too thin for this movie, almost would have worked better as a episode in some anthology serie

Ive seen this a couple of times and I remember I liked it the first time, though it was a good comedy , but now when I watched it I must say its not that good actually and have a very weak link in the acting and dont let me even start with the direction, so not sure if Im just older now and see things Ive missed before or if the spirit is gone cause Ive seen it already

But its not garbage, its low budget with an ok story, and it has some funny moments.

Severance (2006)

It is what it is

[3/10 · 10 May 2024]

And what is it ? It is a low budget stupid b movie

Somehow I missed this movie, it is something I should like, brittish horror comedy is on my toplist, but this have passed me , and I wish so much it would have keep passing

Its pretty bad , direction is from another planet, the story is probably written in a cab on its way to the studio, the only thing that might work is the acting, its not sparkling but its ok atleast

And of course people love this garbage, not sure why actually, cause its not a good slasher or violent, and there were no jokes or any trace of comedy things, it was mostly annoying.

Crawl (2011)

A cowboy, a hooker and clown walks in to a bar

[2/10 · 5 May 2024]

I have seen this movie 10 years ago , had some false memory this was ok movie, its not,, its bad, so bad its insane

The acting is from hell , the direction is from another planet and dont get me start with the story, Ive seen schooltheatres doing better stories than this sloppy mess

Who actually like this ? Some joker said this was as good as cohen movies, what an insult to call this abomination cohen, this movie had material for 20 minutes, but to drag it out and expend it as long as possible they do everything in slow motion , If someone walk up in a stair, he take one step at the time and you need to watch it all the way up , and can someone please kill the guy with the cello playing 3 tones in the background

This is pure garbage, why do they even do trash like this, we have absolute nothing, no script, no money, no actors lets make a movie.

Shōgun (2024–2026)

Father please forgive them

[3/10 · 26 April 2024]

Cause they dont know what they are rating

Yes its a great story , we all think that - and I love the story , the book is amazing, the mini serie from the 80is is fabolous, but this,,,, abomination,,, is an insult , I looked forward to see a modern version, new thinking and todays effects , instead it came out a fast sloppy written low budget story with acting reminding schooltheatre

A guy at my work said to me " oh you should see this serie called shogun, they have swords and sht, its so good " so I said ok you should see the original from the 80is instead,, and he looked at me and said " öhh do they have swords also " so when you wonder who put 10 on this serie,,, guys like this

The story is great, but this version is garbage and just look on the original instead , I know I step on toes and swear in the church but I got so tired on people like this and dont know how much better this actually is.

The Girl with All the Gifts (2016)

A clever zombie movie

[6/10 · 26 April 2024]

This was the second time I saw this , and I think I would have rated it higher if it would have been the first time actually, because I remember I liked it alot , but now it went to be a 6 cause I could see little things I didnt liked and noticed the first time

But this is a good zombie movie, its different and well done , good acting and direction, effects are good aswell, most of all its a smart idea

The weak link is the story by it self , it contain parts with stupid moments, same problem with all zombie movies ,, kind of this " oh lets go out by my self in the middle of the night " and its annoying

But watch it , its a good movie.

Don't Blink (2014)

Its a typical 4-6 rated movie

[5/10 · 25 April 2024]

Its just an ok movie without sparkling, nothing special, its just ok

Some joker did a review about this movie and though it was so good it would be a tv serie instead , yeah right, it was hardly material for this 88 minutes, and it was about 10 people that disapeared,, think a serie with 100 people that pops out ,,, No I would say the other way instead , this would be much better as a episode in twillight zone or simular series

Its easy to write a movie when you dont need to explain anything, so this is an easy movie, sloppy acting, bad direction but sure it has some entertainment moments, its ok.

The Crazies (2010)

Starts so well

[5/10 · 24 April 2024]

Ive seen original movie many years ago aswell and though the same as now , its such an interesting idea, a groundstone to an awesome movie and most of all what a great start it is , I must say iI like movies who start in minute one

But after the great start it fading fast , romero likes to bring in military in his movies and it fails every time , this could have been so much better with people fighting in their little city only

So I think story is not so good, but this remake is better than the original and much better effects and direction, its an well done movie, acting also is good

But story could have been so much better.

Travelers (2016–2018)

Let me spoil the party

[4/10 · 23 April 2024]

Whats the hype with this serie? Its so high rated is amazing, it was not good , it was boring and a story reminding of a schoolplay

Some joker wrote a review and said this was a nailbiter, he was sitting on the edge of his sofa the whole serie, for real ? I was yawning through it from beginning to end

The acting is good , thats the only good thing I can say , but the story is just od , and full of shortcuts and holes , and its of course very cute, no blood or violence and death is only for the ones who already suppose to die, this could be for children, and perhaps it is , would explain all the good reviews.

Clueless (1995)

Wow what trash this is

[2/10 · 22 April 2024]

I can give it 2 stars cause mighty mighty bosstones are playing in this movie, and the father is pretty funny , but thats about it

So why is people like this ? Looks like the targetgroup are younger girls and I can respect that, but otherwise its amazing anyone rate this movie over 2 - this is stupid and the worst is the movie go nowhere, you think all the time its a point somewhere but its just a stupid movie about absolute nothing

Tried to understand the high rated reviews what they liked so much with this but its just didnt made sence , this is not funny, the spoiled bratgirl is just annoying.

Resurrection (2022)

Its just not that good

[4/10 · 21 April 2024]

Well it start well but losing speed in the middle and drop flat in the end , so no its not a good movie, its not even an ok movie its a pretty bad movie, but I give it 4 cause the acting is top clas and for a good start

So people in their reviews are putting knots on them self now to explain this movie, suddenly all are professors in psychologic behavour , they dont even guess what this movie is about, they say this is how it is ,,, some clown even though he was the only one understanding this trash

As soon movies like this comes out people want to rate it high cause its deep hardboiled psychologic trauma and cause of that they rate it high and explain it to the rest of us who dont get it, like babadook movie, same thing

Well I did get this movie, but its doesnt matters , it was not good done, script was not good enough and mostly it was boring and the end was a disaster.

Dark Windows (2023)

I loved it

[8/10 · 21 April 2024]

I actually think this is a great movie, I hesitated when I saw the low ratings here but there was something with it anyway that made me rent it , I like this kind of movies and I just had a good feeling, and I am so happy I followed that instinct, this was great

Sure you have earlier references to I know what you did last summer, but this was better and way out better story, creepy level is high and it start just as I like it, slow and small things in the background that telling you something is wrong

I really dont understand why people didnt like it , perhaps its the stoneage cave people that thought this was a slasher with violence and blood, not sure , cause this is a great movie and I am very sensitive with movies , not easy to satisfy.

Jackals (I) (2017)

The convention

[7/10 · 21 April 2024]

Based on true events,,, well atleast based on other movies, but its ok - so there is some stolen parts here and there but thats how it is of course with these movies, how to do a home invasion movie without take references from the ones already done

But how can this be so low rated? Im surpriced actually, is there a cult out there against me ? Who dislike everything I like perhaps, its so typical I like this and its rated below 5 - I think its unfair to rate a movie with a great story and high creepy level this low , tried to understand the bad reviews but they seemed not to explain either , kind of cave people who only could growl öhhh baad movie

Some clown said he thought this movie was like the void,, what a joker , did you even checked the plot on this one , and isnt funny how many people always start the review with What did I just watched ,,, well this was a very simple movie so if you were troubled follow it you must stick to Walt Disney instead

This is ,,, a good movie, good script, great story, nice effects, its scary but not violent but I must also complain on the acting, its the weak link here and direction failed a couple of times aswell but its ok , yet a good movie.

Annabelle Comes Home (2019)

Close to perfect

[7/10 · 19 April 2024]

I like this movie, its a very good classic horror movie, the jumpscares work, and they are not to many , its creepy and scary and you are caught in the movie pretty often, this is good horror

So why so many bad reviews? I dont know, went surpriced so many people disliked it , but I guess its the same clowns thats think babadook is the best horror ever

Is not that much to complain in this , but perhaps the youngest child was not so good in acting, and I must say the last 15 minutes was not the final I hoped for , not sure what I wanted but it was maybe a bit simple , kind of show a cross and evil disapeared,, well its not perfect but its a good movie.

The Ruins (2008)

Vines of evil

[3/10 · 16 April 2024]

I did see this back in the days when it came out on rental and remember how I had such a problem to decide what I thought about it , and I have avoided to see it again cause of it but now I did anyway

And it is up and down , perhaps not a disaster but its not a good movie, the material is to thin to just make a movie about 4 people on a ruin , and if you do it has to be good acting and even better dialogs

The biggest problem is the story, because it stumble on its own stupidity, if the locals dont want these people to spred the virus further ,, why dont just kill them instead

Im surpriced so many liked it , but think now when people can stream it the rating will fall.

Annabelle: Creation (2017)

So I kind of decided to

[7/10 · 12 April 2024]

Get all of these annabelle movies on bluray and even sinister, conjuring and insidious at the same time, since they kind of came from the same box

Of course seen them already once but now after buying I just had a marathon watching and must say, they all are little the same , horror in the middle,, but this one , annabelle creation stick out , I think its the best

I like this movie alot , good horror, creepy and its well done , story also is total ok

What was perhaps little on minus is the acting from the children,, could had been better time to time, and the same with the direction, took some stupid shortcuts here and there, but ok its not a disaster,, its a good horror movie,, perfect for dates if you want physical contact.

Annabelle (I) (2014)

It is this one scene

[5/10 · 7 April 2024]

That I must say is one of the best scenes in horror and thats when a little girl run through a door, if you seen it you know what scene it is

Otherwise its not that much this movie have to offer , its a bit boring and slow , but sure its not that big issue either, but effects the movie a bit cause its not the intention to be slow its cause they dont have the material

But ok , annabelle does annabelle things and this is an ok movie without sparkle, some joker wrote a review about this being a B horror movie, thats nonsens only, then you havnt seen a real B movie, this is quality done with good effects

Story is good, the jumpscares are easy to figure out , but thats in all of this conjuring insidious annabelle movies , you know when its coming, the only thing I dont like in this movie are the acting of the mother ,,,,she is so bad in this.

The Return (III) (2020)

Aim low shoot high

[3/10 · 2 April 2024]

Who are these people who like this,,, well, simply people who watch B movies alot , troma lovers , Indie movies and all kind of low quality with no budget movies, because in that world this is a crownjewel

I guess its the same guys who did the CGI in babadook that let them self lose in this one too. Because the effects is so bad its insane , they should have skipped it , rather do some cheap rubbermask instead

I didnt like it that much, Because I dont think you should do movies if you dont have the money for it , but I will say some good words also , the acting is well done and that helping alot also the story is pretty ok ,, but like I said if you are use to this low budget movies this is for you.

E.L.E (2018– )

Oh lord

[1/10 · 2 April 2024]

This is bad, its so bad its insane, I didnt know anything could be this bad , I compare this with a schooltheatre or something

Sure I go for the lowbudget movie, and how they tried to build a headquarter in a garage, and its not bad done either, but if you going to do this , you need some good direction and even better acting

And the level on reality feeling in this movie is on ground level , hardly this is how things would be done if it was for real

This reminds me of bad tv shows running on daytime in the 90is its just so bad all of it , I could find one good thing, one girl was good looking.