ta-60644 Reviews

Metal Lords (2022)

A likeable underdog movie without a likeable underdog

[2/10 · 15 April 2024]

I gave up after about 30 minutes. Who was I supposed to be rooting for? I know metal is supposed to be angry, but he lashed out at people that treated him well.

I couldn't figure out if he was that way because his dad drank or if his dad drank because he was that way.

None of them were likeable and it is hard to feel for him as an underdog when he can buy multi-thousand dollar drum sets with his daddy's card and drives an expensive car.

You can get away with a lot of things once your audience gets invested in the characters but you need good characters for that.

It is difficult to write a driven, self centered character that is also likeable but if you can't do that then don't write a movie with one in it.

And, what school has a battle of the bands without any signs up about it? School events aren't usually secrets.

Resident Alien: Girls' Night (2022) Season 2, Episode 3

One of the weakest episodes

[4/10 · 31 March 2024]

The sheriff and the deputy investigating Harry was really getting interesting. Both of their characters were getting a lot more depth. And then they just gave harry a new power to deal with it. A power that would have come in handy several times before. It was a real letdown; not only to have the story line end so soon but to have it just brushed off.

Darcy is usually fun and has more depth than you'd expect but took over being annoying in this episode. And enough about the mayor and his wife.

In a clearly modern theme Harry gets scolded by the kids for not warning them that the orb that Max stole from him would be bad for him. How about you stop stealing stuff?

The Cave (2005)

Starts off with a lot of promise

[5/10 · 30 March 2024]

It starts off with a lot of promise as they introduce the characters and then the cave, but it just doesn't last.

The opening scenes are quite good, they build some tension and made me think this might be good. I think there was a better movie in the first group that went into the cave.

There weren't any jump scares like I'd expect in a movie like this and I only remember one "oh, no" moment. How do you have a horror, creature movie without a few times of building up and finding it is nothing. That is how you set it up to be a surprise when the creature appears.

A big problem is all the characters are one dimensional, most are action hero types and once in matching wet suits, in the dark, many of them look very similar. They really don't have personalities. It is very difficult to care when someone is in danger, if you don't know anything about that person and aren't even sure which one it is.

I get it, caves are dark and the shooting style was done to convey the claustrophobic feel at times and the chaotic at others. It was probably also to keep the production costs down by showing you less.

It wasn't actually bad, but it was also never actually good.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

enough fan service to remind you what is missing

[5/10 · 27 March 2024]

The soundtrack is there. You feel the excitement build with that familiar theme.

Some of the old characters are there, for a second.

There is action, but lacking any worry of how they will get out and at times looking a bit too digital.

There is a sidekick, that is supposed to be likeable and entertaining but is just annoying. Most of the time

There is a bad guy, that is quite good, but he is surrounded by goons that look a little more like they are out of a 90's Bond movie.

When you have the bad guys kill everyone they encounter then it makes no sense when they keep the stars alive when they don't need them.

And finally, we get it, the movie takes place in 1969 but enough with the sepia tones.

Firequake (2014 TV Movie)

So bad that it is.... just bad

[3/10 · 16 March 2024]

Cheap, click and add special effects have made disaster movies super cheap to make, so we get a lot of them now. And that really isn't a good thing. Too often they aren't entertainingly bad they are just bad. As Huey Lewis once said "sometimes bad is bad" and this is one of those times.

There really isn't anything likeable about this movie or the characters in it. Their actions make very little sense and the twenty-something that is trying to play an angry/bratty teen doesn't pull off anything other than being annoying. They needed to back the bratty off a lot earlier for her 'turn around'.

Her blog has 6 followers and yet she acts like the entire world is reading it. The only good people in this are the ones that own (or is it just take care of?) the house but you know how being good in a movie like this will end.

The technicians that you are supposed to root for surviving are literally the ones that turned on the doomed system. The main bad guy couldn't have done it on his own so they are just as guilty.

And then come the Whys?

Why have your daughter show up 3 days before a huge event? Have her stay with a friend in the US for another week or two.

Why not explain to her how crucial this is and tell her after Monday you will spend time with her to get everything settled?

Why kill the people at the house just because the lady told them she was innocent? Guilty people say that all the time.

Why kill the lady behind the project at all? He had all the money and the media behind him, he already won the 'who was wrong' battle.

And the final why.... Why did I watch this all the way through????

Password (2022– )

First season was fun, the second is too much

[6/10 · 14 March 2024]

I liked the first season. It was fun and while they'd occasionally push the limits of the rules by adding sounds and small movements to their one word clues it was still quite challenging.

The start of the second season is just silly. All through the episode they allow the contestants to add movement and sound effects to their clues. The clue for "Buzz" was "Beezzzzzzzzz" with a distinct buzzing sound? The clue for "Flex" was "Muscles" and the guy literally flexed his muscles as he said it.

At that point they've removed the challenge of how do you get someone to guess a word with only a single word clue. Then they should just call it celebrities being silly. And ironically, Joe Manganiello was great at regular clues so he didn't need to add the rest in.

I realize the show is designed to be goofy but they had basic rules the first season that worked so why not stick with them on the second season?

Password: Joe Manganiello & Jimmy Fallon (2024) Season 2, Episode 1

It is now Password with Charades

[6/10 · 14 March 2024]

I was so looking forward to the new season, however it has lost a bit of the challenge with them letting the contestants act along with the one word clue.

In the first season, from time to time, Jimmy and the guests would push the limits of what they could get away with but nothing like this episode. And they were always pushed back by the judges.

What makes the concept of Password so good is trying to think of one word that would make someone guess the password. But all that goes out the window when they can just act out flexing their muscles to get the contestant to guess "flexing".

They don't need to be completely obsessed with the rules; but just go back to the way they did it in the first season where they'd stop them from going over the top with the motions and sound effects.

Teen Witch (1989)

Who knew an hour and a half movie could have so much filler

[4/10 · 9 March 2024]

It is like they made an hour long movie then went back and filled in a half hour with little impromptu music videos that had nothing to do with the plot.

There is a reason nobody saw this in 1989 because it wasn't a good 80's movie then and it still isn't. It plays like a spoof of 80's movies and I guess if you watch it as a spoof it may not be bad. But as an actual movie it is pretty bad.

If you want an 80's movie with music montages then there are far better examples from Breakfast Club to Night of the Comet. Can't buy me love, Adventures on babysitting, Don't tell mom the babysitter's dead are all in a different league from tis movie.

Megalodon: The Frenzy (2023)

Talk Is Cheap

[3/10 · 20 February 2024]

Talk is cheap; so we get lots and lots of talk.

I'm a big fan of over-the-top sci-fi movies with ridiculous plots, bad acting and entertaining special effects. The mismatched military branch being represented, the rusted, mothballed, tourist ship that is clearly docked somewhere just adds to the entertainment factor.

The problem is they used to actually try to make a good movie and just didn't have the budget to pull it off. They couldn't reshoot scenes until they looked good so we got an early take. Now, they don't care, they know enough of us will watch whatever they produce, hoping for a low budget gem; so they pump them out as fast as they can.

These are the ugly Christmas sweaters of the movie world. Ugly Christmas sweaters were fun when they were inadvertently ugly and given as actual gifts that the giver thought was nice. When they are manufactured to be ugly it takes away a lot of the fun. These movies are manufactured to be bad and that also takes away a lot of the fun.

One key thing the companies behind these realized is few things are cheaper to shoot than people sitting in a dimly lit room talking about what is going on. So, we now get most of the movie taking place in what is supposed to be some sort of control room. With just 2 or 3 main characters and talking, lots and lots of talking.

I had some hope for this one early on with the sharks eating entire boats in one bite, only seeing 3 people on the entire ship and what even appeared to be people running through a brewery shown as people escaping a laboratory. But after so much talking, I literally fell asleep.

Cyclone (1987)

Want to feel like you are 12 and it is 1987 again?

[6/10 · 12 February 2024]

Cyclone feels more like a pilot for a TV show than a movie. It is in the popular mid-80's genre of people with super vehicles. They even threw in a cute blond that kicked butt, years before Buffy hit the screens. But even for low budget 80's movies it does move slowly. I found it was best to have something else to do while watching it, to carry the time between the action scenes.

Even then, if you weren't a teen in the 80s and never had a crush on Heather Thomas in The Fall Guy, then this may not be for you. The nostalgia factor is a lot of what makes it fun. You have to let the 80's action music and outfits take you back to your childhood.

If, as a kid, you ever pretended your bicycle was KITT, Blue Thunder, Airwolf or from Automan then this movie might be for you.

Breaking In (2011–2012)

take a good show, mess with it, then cancel it

[6/10 · 26 January 2024]

The first season was fun. Christian Slater's over the top style was entertaining and the other characters were fun. It was just light hearted entertainment. Even Michael Rosenbaum's 'Dutch' wasn't too annoying and even funny at times.

Then like so many good shows the network decided to rework it rather than give it some time to develop a following or advertise it. It had a good group of people and fun adventures.

For some unknown reason, they replaced Odette Annable's Melanie. Why replace a character they had built a good backstory on and had chemistry with Cameron, with Erin Richards. WHY? Nothing against Erin Richards but still WHY???

And who on earth looked at the first season and thought "what this show needs is Megan Mullally? Christian Slater may have just one acting style; but his one liners and attitude fit with the show. He was the cool leader of a bunch of slightly damaged misfits. And instead for season two they focus on Mullally's one acting style which is a whiney voice and cartoonish acting? It made the show nearly unwatchable, If not for the skip button it would have been.

The Wheel of Time: The Eye of the World (2021) Season 1, Episode 8

So much great build up and then... fizzle.

[4/10 · 21 January 2024]

There was so much buildup to what the Dragon Reborn would be capable of, what the eye of the world would be and the final battle to keep the dark one imprisoned. And none of it was realized in this episode.

We've all seen movies and shows where you could tell that they just didn't have the budget to carry out the ending that you knew they wanted and that is what this felt like. I can't imagine that being the case, but it did feel like a rushed attempt to wrap things up and move on to the next story.

The characters didn't really look nervous, excited or frightened about what was going on; they mostly looked bored.

The journey through the horrible blight ended up being an uneventful walk. Even 'don't touch anything' became 'lets lean on the blight and take a nap' with nothing bad happening.

The dark one ended up being surprisingly easy to stop, just hold this little carving and poof, he's gone. There was so much talk for so long on what the Dragon Reborn would be able to do and yet it was the least impressive fight of the season. All that had to be realized was that being a wife and mother is a terrible fate.

They talk a lot about people training to channel the one power but the main characters just automatically know how to use it when they need it.

I'm not sure how the planning session went when when they came up with the idea that all the men would line up to be killed fighting the trollocs and then the women would stay back and use their lightening magic to wipe them out once they got past the men. It seems someone would have thought about changing that order. I know, it was probably some statement about the patriarchy but in a world where everyone knows the magic is controlled by women you think there would be some realization of using it in battle. (note the invaders at the end)

I'm not a fan of shows killing off big characters for the shock value but bringing them back from the dead really takes the fear of what might happen to anyone fade.

And finally, seeing that the seal is broken and knowing the fight against the dark one is clearly not over Moiraine still lets Rand leave without any mention of danger to come and how he might still be needed. Basically the ending is "Yep, you held a small carving, the dark on melted and now you will kill the people you love. So you should go"

Planet of the Sharks (2016 TV Movie)

Classic low budget shark movie

[5/10 · 11 January 2024]

It is in the style of the classic low budget shark movies. Sure, you can see things in the background that shouldn't be there, the sharks don't look at all real, they growl, etc. All of that is what makes these movies fun.

The Joanne D'amato character is very annoying and seems to have been directed by someone that thought they were doing a really over-the-top movie.

That aside, it moves pretty fast and that is a big plus. It starts quickly and keeps having action happen. A lot of these type of movies try to go artsy anymore and it just makes them move slowly as the characters stand around not saying anything.

Everyone else plays it pretty serious and that helps because just when you start thinking it is a serious movie a shark growls again :)

Holiday in Handcuffs (2006 TV Movie)

So much better than I thought it would be

[8/10 · 6 January 2024]

It seemed like an impossible premise but I get the feeling that Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez could make any movie work. Add in some Kyle Howard and just a bit of Gabrielle Miller and it was just a fun movie.

It has heart, character growth and really likeable people. This is what Christmas movies are supposed to be. Mostly just fun, with a bit of watching the people learn and grow.

And that's my review but they want more words so here are a few more words about the movie which was definitely a movie with people in it and a script and a story. It had snow and a cabin and handcuffs........

EXmas (2023)

Save the receipt

[3/10 · 6 January 2024]

Why doesn't Robbie Arnell get some better movies? He's funny and can act, this should have been so much better.

I'm a fan of low budget Christmas movies so I figured you put Arnell in one it would be fun. Instead you get the worst family ever. Nobody was likeable. Everyone was oblivious to other people's feelings.

If you want 90 minutes of parents treating their son really really badly. Or if you enjoy an Ex that won't tell him why she broke it off and won't give back the ring then it might be worth a shot. It was actually hard to watch, but maybe today this is what passes for a family Christmas movie.

If you want a fun Christmas movie with some likeable characters, a bit of romance and maybe a lesson learned, then look elsewhere.

Meg 2: The Trench (2023)

Meg 2: Now with less Meg

[3/10 · 1 January 2024]

Most of the movie doesn't have much Meg in it.

But it does have forgettable characters, bland writing and quite a few "China good" moments to remind us who funded it .

It doesn't even rate as a good, bad shark movie; which I enjoy. Even with questionable CGI and Statham action scenes that look like they were lifted out of Crank with the slightly oddly paced movement when he is running or on a jetski. It just seemed disjointed and odd.

I couldn't manage to make myself care who was in danger, who was killed and who was surviving; largely because everyone was so bland. The one guy seemed to be channeling Jackie Chan a couple times, which was entertaining but it didn't fit with his character at all.

X (II) (2022)

Tries to be too many things ends up being not much

[4/10 · 31 December 2023]

The early scenes with the fixed long shot look perfectly 70's horror. That got my hopes up. Add in the creepy farmhouse and some decent moments of building tension along with a couple jump scares and I was thinking it was going to be quite good.

The sex scenes are a bit more involved than the early horror, Friday the 13th, type movies; but it still follows the formula.

Then about halfway through, it switches to the gross/icky type of horror movie. And around then it also becomes the very predictable horror movie.

The main cast was actually really good. That gave me a lot of hope for the movie early on. The old couple was not good, especially the 'old' lady and their story line was also pretty bad.

A key to good horror movies is wanting to yell at the main characters to not do something or to get out of there. But no matter how much I liked the main characters their deaths were so predictable and the old couple was so distracting that it ruined the shock.

Family Switch (2023)

Very enjoyable for what it is

[9/10 · 23 December 2023]

It is a fun, light hearted movie with a bit of Christmas to it.

I'm not sure where so much anger in so many of the reviews comes from and I'm not sure what they are expecting from a movie like this. If you are looking for cutting edge or a hyper realistic story, then you should probably skip the body switching, Christmas family comedy movies.

The first 20 minutes or so are a bit slow because they have to go through and setup the daily lives of all 4 characters but most movies take a bit in the setup. Fortunately, everyone is likeable and everyone is fun in their own way.

Sure, it is basically predictable but, in reality, what movie isn't? It usually isn't about the end, it is about getting there and this one has fun with it.

Candy Cane Lane (I) (2023)

Lots of possibility but Eddie Murphy needs a better movie

[4/10 · 22 December 2023]

The idea had real possibility but it just never really pulled me in. It didn't ever get bad enough that I wanted to turn it off but there are so many better movies to watch. Which is really sad because Eddie Murphy, as usual, was awesome.

Can anyone explain how during the track meet the other people there didn't freak out when the lords a leaping ran onto the field and then turned into wood versions of themselves? Wouldn't they stop the meet? At first I thought maybe they couldn't see them but everywhere else in the movie they could see and interact with them. And if they couldn't see them then the things Chris and Joy were doing would have drawn even more attention.

Also, did they completely run out of money and have to get David Alan Grier's beard at a 99 cent store? It looked ridiculous.

Christmas in Evergreen: Letters to Santa (2018 TV Movie)

Not great

[5/10 · 11 December 2023]

One of the weaker Christmas movies. I like Jill Wagner but her performance in this wasn't very good. She has done much better before. It was just a bit overdone at most times.

There was a lack of chemistry and the love interest was one of the quickest ever to give up at the slightest hint of things not working out.

I will give them credit for not doing the standard "will she pick the city guy or the country guy" story line. But them fixing up the store to try to sell it made no sense, nobody stages store spaces when they want to sell them. It was also very predictable even for a Christmas movie.

The kid with the key made Wagner's acting look Oscar level. And it was obvious what the key would be for for a long time and I'm not sure how other characters missed the spot where it would go.

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Nobody does what people would do

[4/10 · 10 December 2023]

I get so annoyed by movies where the entire premise requires people to repeatedly do things that normal people wouldn't do. They ignore things normal people wouldn't ignore. And they don't react pretty much ever the way normal people would act. Hours pass and they don't discuss things that they should be talking about. I can give that a pass here or there in a movie, but when the entire story has that happen over and over to move forward it just gets silly.

While most of the main characters move along in happy ignorance the background music cranks the creepy up to 11 for us.

What you do get a lot of is people talking in hushed voices, while vary rarely actually saying anything important.

Squid Game: The Challenge: One Step Closer (2023) Season 1, Episode 8

278 is worse than people think

[3/10 · 5 December 2023]

It was one thing for 278 to chicken out on the deal they all agreed to so that Trey had to make 3 jumps but much worse when in the next game she got indignant when Mai singled her out.

In the dice game 278 acted like it was a shock that someone would go against the plan and that she had been completely wronged by Mai.

Even some of the other contestants acted like Mai was the untrustworthy one after that. How short of memories do they have?

Interestingly, nobody else from the group moved up past 278 when she just stopped and refused to go past Trey. Perhaps that is why they all chose to quickly forget her actions and actually cheered when she landed on a solid panel.

When Trey decided to keep moving he really should have called out 278 and the group with a simple "Really? We aren't doing the agreement anymore? 278 isn't moving up? Nobody else is moving forward?" And Mai should have spoke out against the agreement on the dice rolling before it started with a simple "We had a agreement last time and 278 broke it when it was her turn. How can we trust her now?"

Kevin Can Wait (2016–2018)

A bit too much Kevin

[4/10 · 5 December 2023]

What the first season had that the second was lacking was other characters that were allowed to be entertaining. Erinn's character was a bit of sanity to offset Kevin's childish choices. Ryan and Erinn were very funny in their scenes together. There were so many times in the first season where Ryan and Erinn were so funny together that I immediately figured that was why she was replaced on Kevin's show.

Season 2 became all Kevin all the time and, even for a fan of his, it proved to be too much. He needs a mix of good characters around him. It just can't be 20 minutes of him making sounds and faces.

Since he largely played the same character in this and King of Queens comparisons are unavoidable. As a 20-30 something in King of Queens his childish behavior fit more than it did here with a nearly 50 year old with kids. Especially in season 2 when they apparently told him to amp up the Kevin to 11. The Deacon character in King of Queens was the adult in the room that continually pointed out how childish his responses were. And even Remini's character would shut him down. But in Kevin can Wait she was just along for the ride. Her character rarely really called him out on his antics. That left us with nobody sane to say the things the audience was thinking.

I don't know if the writers weren't allowed to have anyone really point out that his character was often an a-hole or if they thought that was the best route to go. But in season 2 it often felt like the script just said "Everyone sit there and watch Kevin act like a really big toddler. Then move to another room and repeat".

Season one had some charm and a variety of laughs. Season two had a few laughs, no charm and quite a few long drawn out parts that were worthy of the skip button.

Squid Game: The Challenge (2023– )

Easy to see where the budget went

[4/10 · 5 December 2023]

It starts off fairly impressively. There is the huge gym type sleeping area just like the show and the maze stairs leading to the challenges and the giant red light green light doll. Everything you need to have a squid games competition.

But then it appears that they largely blue the budget on those settings and the prize money; because much of the show after that is just people talking quietly to each other about alliances. Or interviews with people where they get to tell us either how amazing they are or how difficult their life has been up to this point.

And many of the eliminations are not much more than 'pick a number' or 'name someone to be eliminated'. I wanted challenges with physical and mental tests. Instead we get so very much of people talking to the camera about why they deserve the prize or why they are so smart.

The Misfits (2021)

I fell for it because of Pierce Brosnan and Tim Roth

[3/10 · 25 November 2023]

I clicked on the movie because it said it starred Brosnan and Roth, but I ended up listening to Nick Cannon go on and on and on like he was introducing guests on a TV show. Brosnan seemed to think he was in a comedy and Roth was barely in it.

If you've ever seen later episodes of Leverage this is just a longer, bigger budget version of that; but with characters that are less likeable. It even includes the "oh, so you thought this was the plan but it wasn't" moments. It is so goofy that there are no times where you worry about any character not making it. Sometimes movies can work with narration to speed through parts of movies but as much as I enjoy Nick Cannon when he is hosting shows, every time he starts the voice over it just takes you completely out of the movie. And even with so much narration to fill in the story the movie still seemed to drag.