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Reviews
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
The buzz on this film totally misses the mark
First this film promised to be a radical interpretation of the source material. Outside of a few tweaks and twitches, like the squirrel scene which I loved (the moniker gives that much away), this is very similar to the original in many ways. I prefer the kids in this version, they're saucier and better cast but I'm not sold on Depp's Willy Wonka. He's not in the same league as Gene Wilder. Wilder's Wonka (say that three times fast) came off as smarter and his reason for being so reclusive and gradually more misanthropic were better. Sure he was warmer, I think Gene Wilder is incapable of not emanating warmth, but it makes his performance that much more striking when he does have an outburst or a callous moment. Depp's stunted development and dislike of p p p parents falls short of expectations and the opening sequence just comes off as disturbingly anti-union and paranoid. Wonka has little humanity in the remake and rather that being "eccentric" he just seems childish, simple and cold.
The American President (1995)
I'm a huge West Wing fan but...
This movie was a thundering disappointment. Everything that makes the West Wing great: snazzy dialogue, swift pacing, believable characters and actual political wrangling are all either MIA or severely diminished in The American President. Most of the women give dreadful performances, particularly Annette Benning who is more annoying than usual here. It's sad because the women on the WW, Sorkin's own show, are well-written, well-acted and more than just tacky window dressing or dinner companions. I get the distinct impression that Aaron Sorkin was asked to tone down the Beltway talk and idealogical debate; Politics is reduced to a hit and run here. There are seeds here of better things and it's apparent because many of the character types and backgrounds were raided and improved upon later. Martin Sheen is good but he can't match John Spencer's Leo McGarry. Michael J. Fox is under utilized and a mishmash of Josh Lyman and Toby Zeigler. He should have been more than just a liberal Alex P Keaton in the background. The press secretary who goes on to be Bartlett's National Security Adviser does a bang up job in both roles, I wish she was in more things. Michael Douglas is likable enough but, either by dearth of script or talent, can't pull off the fleshed out complexity that Sheen has in virtually the same role. Sorkin has something in common with Joss Whedon, they both made movies that didn't live up to their respective visions and rectified that by helming stellar TV shows with knock'em dead casts and gifted writing.
Mystic River (2003)
Spoilers for an over-hyped mediocre movie ahead
Your bitter reviewer walked into the theater with high expectations, I had to beg my fiancee to see this, promising her the masterpiece that the hype said it was. It was, to put it gently, not as good as an average episode of "Law and Order". The characters that weren't overdone or hopeless cliches (e.g. Celeste) were given no consistent motivations or satisfactory explanations for their actions (Jimmy, Sean). The movie waffles on the strength and extent of the boys friendship; Are they still friends? If so, do Dave and Sean know that Jimmy is a small time mafioso? Is all of Boston related to each other, at least six of the major and minor characters are cousins, including Jimmy and Dave (by marriage I assume) yet supposedly they barely know each other anymore. Celeste was a horrible character, first the whole film she looked like she'd scream and cry if her kid or anyone else sneezed. Then she sells out her husband to Jimmy, someone who will most likely at least beat him within an inch of his life if not kill him and then sells JIMMY out to Sean after the situation she brought about has climaxed. This is not a woman you want to go hunting with. And the murderers, where do I begin? Sean said they HAD NO MOTIVE. This is bad writing. They just wanted to play tough guys and the random passerby, the victim, just HAPPENS to be his brother's girlfriend and not only that, the daughter of the hood that his father ratted out when he was most likely two and sent up for a stretch. The kid had no way of knowing, and I give the movie credit for not suggesting it, that Jimmy murdered his father. To top it all off, if this was a random act and an accident that she died, why did they abuse the body? Like I said, bad writing. Kevin Bacon's last five minutes in the movie is on repeat somewhere in actors and filmmakers Hell. He goes from hearing about his friend's death, someone he obviously feels indebted to, to laughing and smiling on the phone to his creepy, stalking wife. He follows this gem with the "finger gun" during the parade with a bizarre smirk on his face. Methinks making movies like "Wild Things" has damaged the acting center of his brain. This movie is nothing what critics or the hype said it would be, there are better films by all these actors and this director, both in front of and behind the camera. Go rent those. Movies like this make orphans cry.
Traffic (2000)
Seriously Overrated
The worst thing about this movie being rated so highly is how badly cliched and overdone it is. We've seen it all before, it's a big budget afterschool special. We have hackneyed moralizing about racism, drug culture in America, corruption and denial. Not that a lot of it doesn't exist but that doesn't make this movie watchable or well-written.
Two characters were done well however, Benicio Del Toro and Don Cheadle. Unfortunately they were underused and in the case of Del Toro, poorly explained and the plot thread allowed to unravel and twist in the wind.
Not recommended, there are much better uses for 2+ hours.
3/10
Lilo & Stitch (2002)
Had me in 'Stitch'es
<rimshot> Sorry folks (minor spoilers)
Despite my bad puns, Disney has a hit on it's hands, a break the mold masterpiece. 'Lilo and Stitch' had lively, spunky characters, fresher, hipper, self-aware humor, and was a surprisingly touching story. I'm a 23 yr old man's man and I cried, don't judge me folks.
Lilo is a feisty, kickass little girl and the first scene at her dance class was terrific ("He controls the weather"). She's not as glossy and overdone as some of Disney's characters and heroines in particular. She really could be a kid, full of trouble, but you like her.
High praise for the animators, they did an awesome job conveying emotion, behavior and thoughts in Stitch's expressions and motion. Better than I've ever seen in an animated feature before. ('Stallion', eat your heart out!) He's also one of the best Disney characters ever, a rugged little rebel. He, Thumper and Tito are going to form a gang and terrorize Disney studios.
10/10 Here's hoping for 'Lilo and Stitch 2: Stitch Takes San Francisco'
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
Those Laughy Daffy Clones
First off, what kind of dreadful name is "Attack of the Clones"? They may as well have called it "Send in the Clones", complete with Streisand/John Williams opening theme.
The most upsetting thing about this installment was that if 20-25 minutes were rewritten it could've been great. (Nothing short of a total rewrite could've saved "Phantom Menace". George Lucas' mother kicked him for that one). He had the actors at his disposal and gave them bilge to work with. The man who will be Vader, one of Hollywood's most menacing, ice cold villains, is a brat who throws temper tantrums and nothing short of stalks his love interest. A shot of him sniffing stolen underthings was all that was missing.
The romance, when not eliciting snores was evoking laughter. Amidala out of nowhere decides she love a boy who was just past a toddler last time she saw him. And in love she falls after he a) starts from the very beginning with the creepy, I like to watch you sleep vibe. b)advocates a totalitarian dictatorship to a Senator in a republic c)admits to murdering women and children like animals without a shred of remorse. What hot-blooded girl could resist?
The Digital animation... it's nice to see the technology has evolved enough to rip off the 5th Element. And I can't be the only one who noticed the piece of fruit disappeared BEFORE it got to Amidala mouth! As for all the backdrops, some are surprisingly good, some look like they let a 10 yr old girl with Photoshop and posters of unicorns and pixies frolicking through misty mists of enchantment run wild. Or worse, the trial run for the video game (the conveyor belt? Please.)
Lucas has constructed a tightly woven storyline, if I'd just watched two hours of storyboards I might not want to kick him in the shins. He's left characters poorly developed, with little visible motivation so he can focus on his techy toys. What happened to Yoda? He was caustic, sassy and feisty in the original trilogy, now he's a fortune cookie. Two movies in and I still don't know what the heck Mace Windu is doing there. The hired Samuel L. Jackson (!) to be Yoda's yes man. He could be a great and heroic character given ANY motivation or backstory. Same with Jango Fett, fine he's behind the scenes somehow, aware of the droid army and the father of the clone army, great, why? What's he getting out of any of this, except nine inches shorter? Lucas could've shown some guts and made Boba a girl, it'd give him one decent female character in these prequels instead of the helpless window dressing they are.
But so much could be forgiven on the chance it will be explained later if it weren't for the clunky, wooden dialogue. George needs to hire a writer, did he let anyone read his script before they started filming? Enroll him in a night school creative writing class, maybe then he'd learn plausible character interaction and character development.
Way to trample an institution. 3/10 mostly because Yoda with a light saber was cool. 8 bucks for 30 seconds.