mwold Reviews

Sombre (1998)

Pointless and artistic exercise in pretentiousness

[2/10 · 24 December 2010]

Nearly pointless but artistic exercise in bad filmmaking. Little character development, little plot, little dialog, and little suspense make for a boring movie. Though some of the ideas behind the story hold much potential, and some of the visuals are quite stunning in a freshmen experimental kind of way, the execution is amateurish and artistically over indulgent. Additionally, as incoherent as the plot is, it's also highly unrealistic (not in a good way) and fairly stupid. What's worse, you know how clever and arty the director thought he was being when he orchestrated this mess, even having the audacity to use 'Bela Lugosi's Dead' in one scene. Totally pretentious, totally ridiculous. Not recommended.

3 Extremes II (2002)

Extreme...ly boring

[3/10 · 23 July 2009]

I'm nearly 100% sure that these were submissions for the first film that didn't make the cut. 'Memories' by acclaimed director Jee-Woon is oddly both totally predictable and yet full of interesting ideas that never come to fruition. This however is by far the most palatable of the bunch with some nice artistic touches here and there. The second feature 'The Wheel' is truly an exercise in tedium. Made on the cheap and a non-existent hackneyed plot, the word "unbearable" springs to mind. The last feature 'Going Home' starts out with promise but quickly fizzles out. What little story there is is ridiculous and paper thin. Above all, there is absolutely nothing extreme about these movies aside from a minute or two of totally out-of-place gore that seems to have been edited into 'Memories' though the scene serves no purpose, and the chills are virtually non-existent. It would be an enormous challenge to find much to recommend here.

Transsiberian (2008)

Problem riddled but entertaining thriller

[5/10 · 20 December 2008]

There's a reason that this film didn't get a wide release in America. On the upside the film is well shot offering gorgeous locales, a wonderful old-fashioned premise, and a line-up of terrific talent. On the downside, the film never lives up to it's potential. The story has certainly been seen before; a young American couple in a foreign land get tangled in a very nasty web of intrigue and danger. The extremely talented though limited Emily Mortimer, and Woody Harrelson are wildly miscast as the couple in dire straights. Their characters are wholly irritating and not remotely believable. Asking an audience to imagine these two as a couple is asking a lot. However, the ever-consistent Ben Kingsley is unsurprisingly effective hamming it up as the Russian heavy, as are the young Kate Mara and the always interesting Spanish actor Eduardo Noriega. Fortunately, when the film focuses on the action, there's plenty of fun to be had and the thrills fly fast and furiously. The last quarter of the films builds momentum nicely and wraps everything up in an exciting climax that certainly makes up for

holes in logic and a laundry list of other flaws. Keep your expectations to a minimum, grab a bag of popcorn, and enjoy a pretty fun ride. Grade: C+

The X Files: I Want to Believe (2008)

Surprisingly effective sci-fi thriller

[6/10 · 17 December 2008]

Although rabid X-file fans may walk away disappointed, thrill seekers should walk away pleased from this thoroughly engaging although flawed chiller. Doing away with the big cinematic feel of the first X-files film, the approach here is straightforward and nearly episodic. Nonetheless, many of the franchises characteristic themes are firmly intact. Fox & Mulder must find their place in the world, embrace their destinies, and come to terms with their faith in science, and the unknown. All of this unfolds in a tidy story involving a possible psychic who while seeking redemption, brings our central characters out of retirement in search of a killer who's captured an FBI agent. The death toll begins to rise quickly and an interesting if not entirely implausible story-line begins to reveal itself. There are more than a few surprises, and enough human development and physical action to keep one's interest. A little tighter editing could have been used, especially in the third quarter when there's unnecessary lag, but all in all this is a highly enjoyable thriller that stands entirely on it's own helped by a slam-dunk ending that will have you on the edge of your seat. It's also held nicely together by terrific performances from both Anderson & Duchovny.

Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)

Terrible but I've seen worse. Far worse.

[3/10 · 14 December 2008]

A terrible movie on many levels. The plot is absolutely ridiculous and outlandish. The acting mediocre at best. The premise involves people that dawn Santa costumes during the holidays being unceremoniously killed one by one. Therein lies the problem; lack of ceremony. A slasher movie without ceremony is like a romance film without a kiss. Santa after Santa is killed. However, we don't know who they are, we don't care, and suspense doesn't fit anywhere is this poorly constructed equation. The murders themselves are not doted on and lack any imagination whatsoever. Going back to the story line, logic is totally thrown out the window at every misstep. With an entire city under a terrifying siege, why on earth do people continuing to put on these ridiculous costumes, only to seemingly wander right into the hands of the killer? Had this been handled by a competent writer and director, not to mention the addition of a budget, any budget, there's actually potential to this very anemic holiday horror.

Prime Time (1977)

Pretty awful spoof in the tradition of Kentucky Fried Movie...

[2/10 · 13 December 2008]

Sadly the laughs are seldom and few in this uninspired coming-to-a-drive-in-near-you pile of trash. It's not the micro-budget. It's not the insipid acting. The problem here is that the majority of the skits don't work, and simply aren't funny. Sure, there are a few "I know him" cameos. Sure there's a deserved chuckle here and there. Certainly this is a terrific example of low-budget movie making and an interesting snapshot of the era. However, I would recommend other options. "The Groove Tube", "Kentucky Fried Movie", or even "Amazon Women on the Moon" are all pretty hilarious. These are similar in set-up and shtick. Otherwise be warned: 10 minutes in will have you reaching for the remote.

Spiral (I) (2007)

Decent independent psychodrama

[4/10 · 24 November 2008]

Decent but overrated dramatic thriller, film attempts to depict the spiraling out-of-control inner demons of a tormented artist. The problem is, not a single relationship illustrated on screen is believable, and plausibility appears to have been thrown out the window. The title character is so difficult to relate to making it's rather impossible to imagine any of the on- screen characters emotionally invested in him either. The conclusion is also fairly predictable; there are certainly enough clues provided from the get go to indicate exactly where the story is headed. Choosing to entirely suspend one's belief in the situations or the relationships, the film itself is well acted (especially by the leads) and manages to create some nice tension as the story unfolds. As a metaphorical feature there is some food for thought, and had the script been stronger, there's certainly potential here that could have been put to better use.

Autopsy (1975)

Not very good giallo

[3/10 · 14 April 2007]

Though there are some sporadically nicely shot scenes and of course an interesting score by Ennio Morricone, this movie doesn't offer anything new or interesting to the genre. The story is all over the map, too much so. You also get the impression it was written while the film was rolling; it's too fragmented and there isn't any character to identify with. There is also a blatant lack of suspense and there's nothing really thrilling or frightening occurring on screen. Essentially though watchable, there's nothing really compelling to follow. The "explanation" thrown in at the 11th hour is slightly ridiculous and too complicated and nonsensical for it's own good. I guess the best that I can say is that it's certainly an interesting mess but by no means compulsory viewing.

Bloody Birthday (1981)

Interesting oddity

[5/10 · 5 April 2007]

This is an interesting and fun little horror movie from the early 80's that probably had a brief run in the drive-ins I would imagine. I won't break down by ridiculous "categories" such as "suspense" or "gore" which I personally find quite hilarious, but in sum, if you like grind-house films of the era, you might enjoy this. It seesaws between very dumb and quite entertaining with a few genuine scares (such as the opening sequence) and a little splash of suspense. It has that cheap, raw 70's feel that try as they might, horror movie makers just can't correctly emulate, and scenes of such utter nonsense that would never slip by editors these days; which is a good thing. Performances are pretty good. For instance, the updated Omen suffered severely by the less than convincing devil-child performance. However, the kids here are totally fine. This is a kooky little movie and I enjoyed every minute of it.

The Roost (2005)

Surprisingly watchable chiller

[6/10 · 30 November 2006]

Earnest acting, a few good scares, sufficient amounts of gore, and some really creative low budget flare help this little movie rise above the fold. The movie obviously doesn't take itself too seriously which in this case works in it's favor. It's also pretty apparent that the movie makers had a ball doing this film, there are plenty of touches here and there that added some flavuh in what otherwise might be construed as a hackneyed affair. Admittedly I generally avoid low budget cheapies, but considering the constraints involved, I found it entirely compelling. Highlights include a totally over the top score which is entirely suitable, and great font! Low points - it looked as if the ending was tacked on or something.

Suspended Animation (2001)

Nice surprise

[8/10 · 5 November 2006]

With little knowledge or context, I was happily surprised by this film! It's thoroughly engaging, and I would agree with some other reviewers in that this film is fairly effective exceeding expectation and throwing in a good handful of unexpected twists & turns. Some of the negative reviews are surprising and seem quite ridiculous as this is flagrantly far from being the worst film ever made. Obviously it's not high high art, but that clearly isn't the intention. If ultimately you want something that entertains and engages, which seems to my problem as of late (in that entertainment isn't that entertaining these days)! This is a well done thriller. Enjoy!

The Omen (1976)

Brilliant film

[9/10 · 18 August 2006]

Brilliant score, tight direction, dead on performances, and a genius script keeps this horror thriller in the highest echelons in the history of cinema. Adapted from David Seltzer's novel, Richard Donner went first class with this timeless production. The pacing is breathless, and the suspense keeps viewers riveted through out. So many films have borrowed so much from this movie, it's almost absurd. One comment mentioned this as being SCHLOCK? Um - firstly, it's important to know what schlock means. Secondly, kind of important you know who um, Gregory peck is? Who Lee Remick is? Um, who Jerry Goldsmith is? This film still holds up - dim the lights and lock the doors.

The Final Terror (1983)

Chilling above par slasher flick

[10/10 · 13 April 2006]

I'm slightly exaggerating the merits of this film only because I'm surprised by some of the reviews. The acting is not so bad, and the raw (that's a euphemism for cheap) look add to the sense of dread and isolation. This felt a bit, or I should say has some of the same "feel" as Deliverance with a twist of macabre. There's something to be said for the simple story line, and a lot of the moments feel quite real. I also think that though the story itself in essence is entirely hackneyed, after seeing the entire movie, I was totally surprised by a couple of the twists (which I won't mention). I think this is a creepy movie and definitely worth a look by horror/slasher aficionados. Not a classic by any means, but a definite winner.

The Visitation (2006)

not so good

[3/10 · 17 March 2006]

You can see that quite a lot of passion and thought, but not a lot of money, went into this film. There's much creativity, but the film just doesn't gel, and the quick wrap up at the end with the flashback explanation isn't very effective. A desperate but talented cast do their best to act through an incoherent storyline and a bunch of psychobabble and religious silliness. Imagine if the Church of Latter Day Saints made a horror movie and you get the picture....watered down chills, a corny Jesus loving theme song, subliminal messaging etc. I can only imagine churchgoers deeming this the most "terrifying and yet important" film made in ages...

Fear of Clowns (2004 Video)

A solid 3 out of 10 stars

[3/10 · 22 December 2005]

The entire storyline is entirely ridiculous. BUT, if one must make a serious horror movie out of such a dumb premise, well, I tip my hat. My problem with this movie is many. First of all, the script is just plain bad, everyone sounds quasi retarded. Secondly, the acting is very very poor on almost all counts. The detective is pretty good, and there are a few hammy performances, but the leads are just plain wooden and boring, there's no one of interest here, even the killer clown is bland. Having said all of these nasty things, there are some redeeming points to be made, the screenplay isn't awful, some good camera work for digital, and the overall production doesn't feel completely cheap. Still, this felt an awful lot like amateur hour at the carnival.

Malevolence (2003)

Entertaining

[4/10 · 9 April 2005]

I just enjoyed this flick. However, having read the other reviews, I'm seriously wondering if viewers may have been on crack or are close friends with the director? Are they serious? No, seriously? I think that the best aspect of the movie is the fact that the director imbued it with so many MAJOR components of 80's B slasher flicks - the really bad synth music, the twisted ankle, the incessant screaming, the double twist ending - but without a hint of irony, which is rather difficult to do I would imagine! The tone is extremely deadpan. If someone had told me I was watching a horror movie made in 1988, I would have completely believed it - and is a very significant statement coming from someone like me by the way. Whether intentional or unintended, the movie works for both thrills and chills. Fun stuff - no second coming like a few other critics declare. An addendum to this story. My good friend left several messages recently for me indicating that she wanted to go to "Male Violence" - yes, several times she told me that we simply must see "Male Violence"? I asked her to spell it for me..."M- A-L-E-V-O-L-E-N-C-E"...."you haven't heard about Male Violence"? So in thanks to this movie I learned that my friend can't spell or really speak...wow.

The Runestone (1991)

Fun stuff

[8/10 · 17 November 2004]

OK - I had to throw in my two cents after I read a reviewer professing The Relic to be a BETTER film?! What! Firstly - The Relic sucked. Period. No scares, no thrills, no suspense, totally ridiculous, horrible direction. It was one of the horror movies you go to opening night amongst a packed theater and afterwards everyone just kinds of sighs "man that was anti-climatic". The Relic on the other hand is a good little monster movie, and it's certainly compelling and hold's interest. It had a nice thick atmosphere and a good build - some good scares and laughs. This is a good Saturday night at home w/popcorn, soda, and wine, kind of movie.

Check it out!

Eyeball (1975)

ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD STUFF

[5/10 · 8 March 2004]

I had low expectations going into this one-which often helps. However, I thought that this movie was kind of fun; the 30 or so flagrantly dropped red herrings, the lesbian couple thrown in "just for kicks", the ridiculous premise, very over the top. I have a low "boredom" threshold and I didn' find this tedious, and you're definitely guessing up until the very end "who the mysterious killer is". Yes, this isn't in the same class as say a few of the Bava or Argento giallo's, but if you're a die hard giallo fan, then this is a must see (at least once!). There's some nice editing and a few surprises and nice shots here and there. I loved the whole "red raincoat" thing, yes, hackeyed and done as nauseum in the past, but it was nice regardless. Some good touches, I'm giving this a sold 5 star!

In the Cut (2003)

GOOD RENTAL!

[10/10 · 29 January 2004]

This was torn to shreds by critics, though Ryan's performance was almost universally praised. In the spirit of rooting for the underdog I'm giving this movie a ridiculously exaggerated appraisal. It probably wasn't a 10 ok! However, it's entertaining, atmospheric, and a potboiler of sorts, a great rental and has the audacity to takes itself seriously! Turn down the lights, grab some popcorn and enjoy this underrated whodunit!

The Child (1977)

This is pretty unbearable

[1/10 · 22 July 2003]

And that comes from someone that will withstand almost ANY viewing. The acting and sound is awful. This might qualify for a "so bad it's good" point of merit,,,for some. However I take my horror movies seriously and this is just crap-it's just soooo cheap, I think that's my major complaint. The dialogue is often hilarious-attention to how many times "you startled me" is used. The "child" actress is seriously god awful-I pray her acting career ended here..her line "DONUTS! I HATE DONUTS" is worth repeated viewing however.