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The Hollow (2015)
Cheap cast and storyline
Never met characters more obnoxious than these three fools. The stupidest characters I've ever seen and I'm tired of stupid characters. Stupid characters are due to lazy screenwriting and lack of talent. We've been complaining about stupid characters for years yet you guys continue to make them stars of your movie. The younger sister was trying hard to squeeze a tear out of her eye. The little tear that could not. Boring with poor talent. You will not make me believe that stupid characters survive. I refuse to accept it. I really can't drive this home enough. Not worth a watch unless you want to get upset.
The Fearway (2023)
Cheap Jeepers Creepers
I had a feeling this was going to be a poor mans Jeepers Creepers and within the first 5 minutes my assumption was a bit stronger but the further I got I realized I was 100% right. I made it maybe 20 minutes in. I honestly have no idea since I stopped the movie and deleted it from my Prime watch history. I don't even want a reminder that I saw any part of this movie.
The Ferry Man looked very low budget and tacky. They couldn't even afford FX. I truly can't believe friends told them that this was a good idea to make, then patted them on the back after making it. Laughable attempt at a horror movie. Truly, what was the idea?
Could've had a V8!
Something in the Dirt (2022)
A conspiracy theory bore
I have no idea who these guys are so there's no bias on my behalf. I'm 15 minutes in and this movie is dull. The score is louder than the cast members. Was there no money for better sound quality? They are trying to set a vibe but the only thing it gives is me turning up the volume even more and taking me out of the element. The volume on my tv is at the halfway point and it's a struggle to hear when the score is playing. Very echoey. Had I known it was almost two hours I would've definitely skipped this. Sometimes I wonder what do people watch to actually enjoy something of this caliber. This movie is extremely boring. I'm attempting to keep my eyes open by writing this review.
Malum (2023)
They are mad because it's a remake
It was a pretty good movie with great graphics. Money doesn't solve everything but it solved the FX budget. I enjoyed that a lot. I do agree that the main character made idiotic decisions but ummm what main in a horror doesn't? The number one complaint about horror scripts is stupid decisions. She's not as insufferable as some other characters I've had the displeasure of seeing across my screen. Malum kept me engaged and excited for the next twists. There's definitely jump scares to be aware of. One thing I seemed to have missed was the timeline of her dad's incident. I'm assuming a year due to a particular point of the story where the mom keys the daughter in. Normally you'll get a flash across the screen saying how many days, months, years later.
Dashcam (2021)
Obnoxious Right Wing Garbage
15 minutes in and lots of Covid conspiracy theories, lies, propaganda, the infamous red hat worn by those who should be extras in The Hills Have Eyes. I really can't believe I paid for this. I don't watch horror to be bombarded with your opinions and views on politics and health. I can see those horrible things in real life. The lead is obnoxious and insufferable. I was tricked into an angry right wing experience I never signed up for. They intentionally leave out the anti vax & vote Dump Truck spiels from the trailer for a reason. The lead actress is literally playing herself. I also abhor people who fly to someone else's homeland to impose their views on locals. Stay your closed minded self at home!
Wounds (2019)
Such potential wasted
The movie was very unpolished. It felt unfinished with massive plot holes in the story. What was the purpose of the rash? What was the reason behind the girlfriend zoning out staring at a tunnel on the laptop night after night? Nothing transpired behind that. Who was taking pictures on her phone and sending them to him? Why was the minors phone stolen then returned? Who stole the phone?? What exactly is this entity?? There was no explanation and the story wasn't cohesive. It started out about this entity and ended on Armie's humanity and the screen just went dark like they ran out of money or film. I also was annoyed at the millennials comment towards the teens when there's not a teenager on earth a millennial. Not now and surely not in 2019. Armie is a millennial. His character and in real life. Those children are not millennials. Every millennial can legally drink at a bar even back in 2019. Those underage kids were Gen Z. I understand millennials roll off the tongue a bit better but who cares about that if you're wrong?
Slash/Back (2022)
Inuk Attack the Block
I enjoy horror movies from different cultures around the world. You get a little story on their history and get to dive into their culture at the same time. It's very refreshing seeing horror from around the world. One of my gripes is the font size of the subtitles. The other is it reminded me a bit too much of Attack the Block. Way too much. Even when Uki gave a little speech in the trailer it reminded me of when Moses gave a speech about why the aliens was in the ends. I wish it was a bit more creative but nonetheless I still enjoyed the movie. The CGI was giving cheap at that polar bear scene. I think a nice panned out shot would've sufficed for that moment. I enjoyed the look of the meat skin humans.
Re/Member (2022)
This movie stinks
It really had potential and I thought it would've been executed well but I have two pet peeves that really irritated me and threw the vibe of the movie off. The first is the score. Whose bright idea was it to have this music playing? It was tones of sappiness, tones of drama and I'm really not a fan of genre bending for horror movies. My second pet peeve is to stop introducing idiot characters especially leads. One of the lead actresses was scrambling around on the floor instead of standing and running to help out her fellow friend. Not sure why standing wasn't an idea. She ended up getting her friend gobbled by the doll monster. This same actress went on to stand around as the love of her life is chewed up by the doll monster when he explicitly stated to put the head in the coffin and if she would've done so she wouldn't have sentenced him to a death sentence of being chewed up. At this point I really wanted the doll to chew her up as well. The music is still sad as she proceeds to fight the doll monster. This one is for my friends that I allowed to be chewed alive because I'm an airhead. I wish people stop padding movies with these types of characters/scenes instead of just ending the movie or finding better material to fluff the movie.
The Chosen One (2022)
Never seen anything this bad before in my life
This is so bad. I've never seen a movie this bad. I was using it as background noise as I use my phone because I knew it was going to be bad. I didn't expect this though. I was shocked to see it was released this year. It gives 2010 vibes. Like it was filmed on a phone at the turn of technological advances for phones. The lighting was horrible. It was a scene where every single person in this film was standing outside and there was a flashlight on one persons face and everyone else was pitch black. They could've held up a flashlight in the air to light everyone since a porch light wasn't available. They also did not remove mistakes from the film. There were at least two times in the same scene where someone forgot their line and there was a brief pause as we waited for them to find the line or move on. They could've cut 1.5 hours off this 2.5 hour movie to at least bring this movie up to a current decade. The actors/actresses must've came from Wish. That's crazy that they really thought we wanted to be tortured for 2 hours.