Sheltering_Sky Reviews

Hitched (2001 TV Movie)

The way I see it is this:

[24 June 2003]

Of course "Hitched" is a bad movie. It was brought to us by the same box that gave us "Baby Monitor: The Sound Of Fear." I have learned not to expect great things from my television, so instead of critiquing, which only stands to leave me empty-handed, with neither an opinion nor an excuse, I do my best to interpret. What the hell does it all mean?

For my part, I am an active disliker of men and women and the way they bonelessly coalesce into their respective roles as charlatan and virago as soon as they enter a marriage. What's funny about "Hitched" is I couldn't figure out whether this movie hated women, was merely poking fun at them, or saying, "Hey, girls, this is a viable option you may have overlooked." In all honesty, any of these options is a viable as the next, and all of them are okay with me.

It's not fair to the film to try to criticize the way it was directed, the production design, or even the acting, which, for a movie about a woman who chains men in her basement, was pretty nuanced. That's not why people watch TV, and it's certainly not why people would tune in specially to watch a movie that promises the plot of "Hitched." It's all about settling in for shock and schlock, then a quick "what do you think, honey?" before brushing the teeth and going to bed.

The Score (2001)

Intriguing, but not thrilling

[31 January 2002]

This is not to say that I was unimpressed by the performances (especially the triumphant Edward Norton once again showing off his dual-role skills), nor to say that the film lacked anything at all. No, The Score had all it needed to have: An all-star cast; a solid plot line; some suspenseful "man-versus-his-own-decision" conflict scenes; shiny things; a lot of cursing (which this reviewer sheepishly admits she is a sucker for); and a few punchy one-liners thrown into the mix for good measure. It was beefcake solid, but at the expense of being completely transparent. It was predictable, but comfortable.

Perhaps I got in a bit late on the trend, having just seen it this afternoon, sitting on my couch with some salsa con queso and a bag of tortilla chips. Perhaps I should have seen it when the hype was still high and the screens were still big. But I think that if it were nearly as "exciting!" and "riveting!" as it was purported to be, that would have carried over even into the smallest of screens.

Moulin Rouge! (2001)

What cinema is truly supposed to be

[18 January 2002]

These days, the cinema is filled with so much garbage, that it was was intensely refreshing to experience this masterpiece. It was, in my very humble opinion, not only the best film of the year (apart from, perhaps, Lord of the Rings), it is one of the finest, most dazzling films ever made.

I have heard some people say that they didn't like Moulin Rouge because it was "full of itself." I say it had every reason to be.