patw-73839 Reviews

3 Body Problem (2024– )

Unsolved Mysteries: The Three Body Edition

[7/10 · 25 April 2024]

The 3 Body Problem earns 7 bags of popcorn and you should probably eat that pop soon before the Ashantis arrive to take all our popcorn.

I think the acting was phenomenal, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The story began kind of like Hmmmmm then the story was like Huhhhhh and then I was Oh My Gosh this is so stupid but in the end the story was like Alright Alright.

That being said, I got some questions, okay. First of all, they established that this alien civilization is located on a planet that is part of a three star system. They also establish that humans advanced at a faster rate because we didn't have the issue of having to start over. This is why they need to occupy Earth.

This is all very confusing. These aliens are so advanced yet the only planet they could find to support their life is Earth? And that was only after receiving our radio signals. We've identified multiple planets that are "earth" like and could probably support life but this advanced civilization was sitting waiting for a solution to fall in their laps.

My other struggle I have with this whole story line is how this civilization advanced as much as they did. When they said humans advanced faster than them because their civilization essentially keeps getting reset or halted because of the chaotic and destructive nature of being in a three star system. However, they make it sound like humans advanced so fast but last time I checked, earth is over 4 billion years old. To say we arrived where we are because of hundreds of thousands of years of humanity is kinds of ignoring the billions of years that came before us.

So going off of that line of thinking, how the heck did this civilization not only advance to where life can flourish and develop into an intelligent species but also advance to the point where they can travel through space and also do the other shenanigans they do in the show? Shouldn't their planet have been flung into a sun or ejected into empty space? Makes no sense to me that they can assert that they developed slower than humans because of the chaotic nature of their home environment yet survived long enough to develop their advance civilization that apparently is also helpless in locating other planets unless that planet says hello first.

Also young people don't smoke cigarettes anymore. Why aren't these characters vaping? Cause it looks stupid? I don't know. Also they murdered a bunch of crazy religious people on a cruise for no reason. Straight up cut them to shreds, kids and all. That's messed up, and don't tell me that's the point of the scene. Absolutely ridiculous.

Anyways, I did enjoy the show, except for the middle episodes, but I thought it ended strong. So go watch it. And enjoy!

Road House (2024)

Dalton Moves to Florida

[8/10 · 31 March 2024]

Road House earns 8 bags of popcorn and maybe a watered down margarita. Jake Gillenhall delivers as Dalton. Wow!! What a performance!

From his first fight scene where he slaps the heck out of some Florida fellas, I was hooked. Like going to the grocery store on a hot summer day cause you ain't got no ac, this movie rocks.

The acting is phenomenal. The girl who works as a book store cashier and the lady who owns the road house and the one henchman guy who is always polite to Dalton and the rich guy's dad who is in jail.

Now as with any classic movie remakes, everyone has their opinion and loves to compare the new one to the original. I can definitively say, this is definitely a remake but with its own take on the original source.

Jack Gyllenhawl gives a unique take on the character Dalton. His portrayal of the classic character is like a ghost of the original; almost as if one too many people tried to put him in the corner and ain't no one put baby in the corner. He has the edgyness and moodyness of a teenager with divorced parents. He's got the physique of fight club Bread Pitt and the smile of a demonical cat.

Go see it for yourself. Then go watch the original. Then get two monitors and play them both at the same time. You won't regret it.

X (II) (2022)

You Can't Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

[7/10 · 31 March 2024]

X (2022) earns 7 bags of popcorn. Like many movies of its kind, X offers some gore, some plot twists, some nudity, and an eerie, rural Texas setting.

Imagine a cast of characters, some young folks looking for stardom through the adult film industry. Now imagine an old couple going through some marital struggles. Oh and imagine a crocodile. And you got yourself the movie X.

The film utilizes our fascination with nostalgia as it recreates the vibes from an older time of movies like the Texas chainsaw massacre and other slashers. Is it as successful as those movies? Well, maybe, but it's gets tiresome always comparing new movies to past ones.

There are some issues I had with the film. I didn't care for the motivation behind the killings and it was also odd to me that most of the characters were never scared or frightened because they had no idea anything bad was happening to the others. This caused the movie to lose a lot of it's potential tension since the characters aren't under any stress.

If you're looking for a slasher flick and you don't mind sex, nudity and gore, then give this one a shot.

M3GAN (2022)

Jaws Meets Snakes on a Plane

[7/10 · 25 November 2023]

M3GAN earns an extremely entertaining 7 bags of popcorn for this modern take on a classic.

This epic thriller builds on the stories of old like Chuckie and infuses it with technology. Imagine a doll and imagine all the people living in peace. It's easy if you try.

And I hope some day you'll join them, not the toy doll of course, don't join her, she's as evil as she is technologically advanced. But maybe in a few years she'll be outdated and we'll have our own m3gans running around with Bender and Fry.

Anyways this movie is an instant classic so if you haven't seen it yet then get going. Go on...go

Why are you still here? Stop reading this totally on topic review and get to watching the movie or I swear I'll...Oh you've seen it already? Alright cool. Then you can keep reading...but I'm kind of out of things to say though...so yeah how've you been?...okay this is awkward so I'm just gonna go.

The Killer (2023)

Professional Until Tomorrow Before Now

[6/10 · 25 November 2023]

The Killer earns 6 bags of popcorn for a fun, thrilling take on the assassin story.

Our main protagonist played by the magnetic actor Mr. Fassbender, plays the role of a killer who doesn't talk much. And he plays this role perfectly. It's as if you're watching the movie and your ol pal Michael is sitting right next to you, telling you all his thoughts on going slow and measuring twice.

This modern movie is set in present time or at least what was the present at the time because of course as I write this and you, later, are reading this, time has passed. And time passes as you watch the movie, unlike some other movies, if you know what I mean *wink wink*

So if you enjoy movies about professionals, then I highly recommend this professional film where patience is key and that may involve sitting there quietly as nothing happens in the movie. This could go on for some time, as I mentioned earlier, time passes in this film. And you, the professional movie watcher, must be patient and quiet. Don't look at your phone. Don't talk to anyone. Don't yell at your cat. Just sit and be patient because eventually the movie will end.

The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)

Does Poe Exist?

[5/10 · 23 November 2023]

The Fall of the House of Ushers earns 5 bags of popcorn.

I realize that this show has high ratings and plenty of people have left very positive reviews that compliment every aspect of the show and if that's your opinion as well then that's fine.

Maybe I'm just a Debbie Downer or a hater but you know, I really did try to give this show a fair chance but I got to say... it's really bad. I will do my best to hold back my sarcastic and rude comments and just stick to the main reasons why this show didn't work for me. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my, hopefully not petty, review.

I have three main issues with this show. First two are the story and characters. They both fall flat for me because there's nothing at stake. We're told in the very beginning that all the kids are going to die. Alright so if we know what's going to happen to them then there's nothing to root for. There's no reason to be invested in these characters since I know they're just gonna die. I suppose there is the mystery of why they are dying which isn't revealed til the end of the series but it doesn't really matter. If I thought there's a chance some of them could survive then maybe I would care why these deaths are happening but that's not the case.

Well that's not what the show is about you might say. The show is not a murder mystery or horror tale, but instead is a story about greed and corruption that lasts through generations of a family. Okay, well, what's the point? So this family is powerful, wealthy and they're dying off one by one. Is the show making a statement about society? Probably. But does any of it matter? I felt not connection to the story or the characters.

Speaking of characters... they are terrible. I mean they're terrible people. And because they're terrible, I don't care about them. Most of the time I was just hoping the scene would end cause I was getting annoyed with the characters. You can have a great story that revolves around characters who are terrible people. Plenty of stories have done it, but these characters just had nothing to cling to, nothing that makes me want to learn more about them. Roderick is essentially two different people. In present time, he's an evil corrupt businessman who only cares about money and power but in his early years he's a family guy who cares about doing the right thing. I guess they kind of showed how he went through such a dramatic change but it's still such a drastic difference whereas his sister's character seems pretty consistent from her early years to her in the end.

The only other critique I have for the show that I want to talk about is Edgar Alan Poe. Does he exist in this universe? I'm assuming he doesn't otherwise the whole story would just be so bizarre. Yeah there are lots of references with names which is meaningless and there's certain plot points that mirror stories from Poe. But does that make the show Gothic? Does it make the show a modern representation of Poe's work? I guess so, but I certainly don't think it does Poe justice. Also it bothers me when he keeps saying the Annabel Lee poem because again I am assuming Poe doesn't exist so that means he wrote that poem for his wife? Which is really weird...that's a weird thing to do since the poem is about a guy laying next to a dead woman he loves. Also, that poem is amazing and incredible and there's no way that character would be remotely capable of writing a poem like that so yeah it just bothers me. Then he's quoting the Raven but he's not quoting I guess since there is no Poe so again he just wrote this and came up with that poem too? That's fine if you want to include imagery from Poe and base your story off of Poe and have every stupid character have a name from Poe. That's fine. But it's weird when the characters are just straight up saying lines from Poe. I don't like it and it feels very undeserved.

The Menu (2022)

A Satirical Anti-Satirical Satireless Lampoon

[8/10 · 12 November 2023]

The Menu earns an impressive 8 bags of popcorn paired with a fancy glass of wine. The film delivers with laughs, surprises, and twists at every turn.

Not sure why every review I looked at had to focus on the fact that this movie is a satire or that the only purpose is to make a statement about the rich, or foodies, or fine dining. I mean it's just a fun movie.

The acting is great and the premise is pretty interesting. Ending falls a bit flat but they kind of put themselves in a corner when they made it clear that everyone is going to die. And you never want to put baby in the corner.

I loved the different cast of characters and I also greatly appreciated that they didn't use any stupid flashbacks to give unnecessary back stories to the characters. They told a story from start to finish. Kept it simple.

My only complaint is that the dishes weren't that interesting. I mean the first two courses were presented in a pretty interesting way but then they lean into all these other shenanigans that take away from the dining experience... I mean movie watching experience.

The menu is a fun film that I'll definitely rewatch at some point. So if you enjoy good food, bad people, and an insane chef then this is the movie for you.

Barbarian (2022)

Who's the Real Babrbarian?

[7/10 · 11 November 2023]

Barbarian earns 7 spooky bags of popcorn. There's thrills, there's frights, and a naked lady who desperately wants to be a mother.

It's a classic story, one that's been told time and time again. Protagonist has to share air bnb with a stranger and they of course find a secret tunnel/torture room/more tunnels and demonish lady.

The movie does a fantastic job at building suspense and cutting that with intermittent moments of comic relief. Justin Long's character may feel out of place, may feel unnecessary, but I argue that change of pace in the mid section of the movie helps redirect the movie and gives it room to play around a bit. Otherwise we would just be stuck with Tess in the tunnel seeing her feed on milk bottles with the lady for an hour or so.

Is the ending good? Probably not, but hey, it ended and the story was resolved. If graphic nudity doesn't bother you and you enjoy a movie that, uh, well... doesn't care about following a coherent story structure, then I highly recommend this very enjoyable horror flick.

Do Revenge (2022)

Revenge Done

[7/10 · 29 June 2023]

Do Revenge earns 7 bags of popcorn for this fun modern take on a typical teen high school revenge story.

Immediately, I'm taken back to my high school days, where every weekend we went to this one guys mansion and partied like it was the 1920s. Those were the wildest parties I've ever seen I'll tel you what. Most people who attended the parties didn't even know him, but I did. In fact I lived right next door and boy could I tell you some stories old sport.

Speaking of crazy stories, Do Revenge really captures the anxiety and social stresses felt by teens in America. There's high fashion, an incredible school campus, fancy cars, and even an all exclusive tennis club where rich people use $20 kid tennis racquets. Incredible.

What makes this movie stand apart from other classics like Mean Girls, is the inspiration driving the story. Instead of a stupid Shakespearean story line, we get a modern take on Hitchcock's strangers on a train. An unforgettable movie where a man meets a stranger on a train and plot to take out the popular kid at their high school by exposing him on prom night for actually being a caveman and not a transfer student.

So find a comfy spot on your silk couch on your gold yacht and open up that fine bottle of bubbly and enjoy one of the most relatable teen movies ever.

The Ultimatum: Queer Love (2023– )

Stainless Steel Love

[8/10 · 7 June 2023]

The Ultimatum earns 8 bags of popcorn. Absolutely gripping and worth binge watching.

There's highs, there's lows, there's a Vanessa and stainless steel cups. If you love reality tv and couples drama then you'll love this show.

I wasn't expecting to get so caught up in these individuals' lives, but by the end of episode 1 I knew all their names and already had my opinions about who should be with who and who should leave who.

The structure of the show is great. You get a good introduction to the couples but then are quickly thrown into their new relationships. By the time they go back to their original partner, it feels like they've each gone through a genuine experience and there's this incredible tension that you can't wait to see resolved.

Grab your favorite stainless steel cup and enjoy these relationships develop and break and stengthen over the course of The Ultimatum.

Cruella (2021)

Edgy Fashion with Stunning Visuals

[8/10 · 14 April 2023]

Cruella earns 8 bags of popcorn and a tub of soda with a little ice.

Cruella stars a star studded cast with Emma and Emma, both in a constant battle for the spotlight in the movie. The movie moves at a fast pace similar to the fast and the furious franchise with many twists and turns along the way.

In true villain fashion, Cruella delivers with her evil wits and schemes to be the most fashionable of all. Emma's split performance of Estella and Cruella reminds me of when you take off in the morning a hit some light traffic but then drop your chapstick, so now you gotta bend over and reach in between the car seats and the car in front of you breaks suddenly.

Cruella is a heart warming origin story of the beloved character. Fans have been asking for a long time to know how Cruella was raised and if there were any Dalmatians in her childhood who perhaps did something traumatic like push her mom over a cliff.

So pack your parachute skirt and get out the hair dye cause it's gonna be a fun ride of a movie.

The Haunting of Hill House (2018– )

Marvelously Clever

[6/10 · 3 April 2023]

The Haunting of Hill House earns 6 bags of popcorn. Scary, dramatic, and a thrilling story telling are features you would find in other shows.

This show keeps you on the edge of your seat like waiting for a pop tart to pop out of a toaster. The characters are incredible in this series.

Just when you think a character is horrible and one dimensional, the show gives you a flash back to when they were a kid and kind of explains why they are the way they are now but not really. And that's how you write well developed characters.

The show Lost also did this. And I did enjoy the first 3 seasons of that show. Never watched any more episodes though, I felt pretty satisfied after the first 3 seasons.

The Haunting of Hill House has a great mix of ghosts, family drama, flashbacks, and then I'm sitting in the dark watching the show with my girlfriend when I realize she's gone. I look around and see that the tv has shut off, so I reach for my phone for some light but I can't find it. Desperately, I scan the living room for something. Then, I see her. She's by the stair case with her head tilted down and her long black hair covering her face.

I call her name, but she doesn't respond. I feel oddly cold on this warm summer evening. Then she's gone. I search the room again, frozen on the couch but frantically scanning the darkness for anything.

The show delivers on the drama element but falls short for me in the horror department. The show falls into the American Horror Story trap with the whole die in the house and your ghost gets to live there thing. Other than that it's a cool show that feels like a mental work out trying to keep up with the times lines, so if you're looking for a brain game as you watch, I highly recommend this sitcom.

Resident Evil (2022)

RE: New Origin Story With Antsy Teens

[7/10 · 3 April 2023]

This Resident Evil series earns a 7 bags of popcorn.

I went into this with low expectations since I had read some of the reviews before hand, however, I was pleasantly surprised with the story and the acting. Before I get to what I liked and what I think works for the show, I will address the shortcomings and what I believe to be the reasons so many people hated this series.

I absolutely hate the switching between story lines and time lines but since that's such a common technique now and formula in modern storytelling in shows it's hard to hold it against this series. The main issue that I've seen with the show is the complaints about the annoying teen protagonist. During the first couple episodes, young Jade is about as awful a character can be, but she does get better. I've also sat through way too many teen tv shows than I would like to admit and the teen characters in this series are no where near as bad as some of those other shows. Maybe I just have a high tolerance for teen nonsense, either way the young version of the protagonist slowly grew on me and didn't annoy me enough to hate the show.

Here's what I think works for the show: there's a good mix of action, backstory, and some family drama. I think most of it is okay paced. Definitely plenty of parts that moved a bit slow for me and some other parts that weren't well flushed out but perhaps would have been if there were more seasons.

If seeing characters you're familiar with from the series change race and personality then you might not like this take on Resident Evil, but none of that bothered me. That might have been due to the fact that I went in with low expectations and didn't expect the show to stay true to the series.

I think people are way too harsh on this show for what it is. It's a somewhat entertaining teen drama set within the Resident Evil universe. I know these type of shows can be upsetting to the fan base. I'm still upset over the cowboy bebop live adaption, but I don't think this show deserves the hate it's received.

If you go in with an open mind and get through some of the annoying teen drama in the beginning then this is definitely an enjoyable watch.

Creed (II) (2015)

A Yo, It's a movie you might not very much mind

[7/10 · 17 February 2023]

So, hey, yo, you knows this movie is like a 7 bags of that popped corn you know. Like when I go to the theatre and say Hey Yo, what kind of corn should get a bucket of and this guy is like go for the popcorn

There are punches and more punches with this thriller. I love that the son of Apollo creed has a story of his own that we get to see it unfold.

Donnie has unresolved feelings towards his dad that died before he was born and has been drawn to the same career and lifestyle that awarded his dad fame and glory, but at the same time lead to his death.

The acting was phenomenal by the whole cast. I also enjoyed that we still got a rocky fight, but instead of a human opponent, we get to see the Philly south paw go against death itself.

I would have loved to have seen the great Carl Weathers, the original creed, get a chance to come back to the big screen. Maybe in creed 2 they can time travel back to when Apollo fought drago and then Donnie gets to train with his dad or something.

The Ring (2002)

Be careful if you get a VHS copy

[8/10 · 23 January 2023]

The Ring earns 8 bags of popcorn. A classic horror movie that haunted me as a child.

This movie has cemented itself into my childhood as one of the scariest movies I saw. It scared me so much that even seeing the parody version of the girl in scary movie 3 still gave me nightmares. And to this day, I still get scared when I wake up in the middle of the night and my girlfriend is standing in the dim light of the tv, facing me with her long, dark hair covering her face.

The Ring tells the story of Samara and how her cursed tape murders people who watch it. The protagonist, a journalist who seeks out answers to a mysterious death, finds herself racing against time for not just herself but for her son's as well since they both watched the tape.

As much as I still enjoy this movie, I think the original Japanese version has the better ending with the entire second half of the movie being stronger than the English counterpart.

As someone who grew up falling asleep watching VHS's of either rugrats or dragon ball z, nothing was more terrifying than waking up to a static screen. Those days are far gone now, yet the fear invoked by seeing that ghostly static girl is still as powerful as it was when I was a child.

If you haven't seen it then go see it. I have a an extra VHS copy if you need it, just make sure you watch it within a week of me giving it to you, cause I, uh, need it back soon.

The Sandman (2022– )

It's Sleepy Time

[6/10 · 21 January 2023]

Sandman earns 6 bags of popcorn. You may want to sprinkle some sand and butter on that pop.

Like T. S. Eliot said, "I will show you fear in a handful of dust" to illustrate the broken state of the world post WWI. The sandman carries on that modernist mentality of fragmentation with this broken story.

The main character, sandman guy, reminds of what William Blake said: "To see a world in a grain of sand/ And a heaven in a wildflower/ Hold infinity in the palm of your hand/ And eternity in an hour" This show mirrored that classic romantic imagery of seeing the beauty and the sublime in the world by making every moment of every episode feel like an eternity.

Sandman is an imaginative show with fantastic characters like Constantine. And to quote Killah Priest, "I'm having constant dreams of Constantine/ Wake up guarded by angles with arms and wings". Truly a modern take on a classic character.

Sandman is a must see if you have a few hours and want to start a show that you probably won't finish.

Bullet Train (2022)

Brutal, Viscous, and Delicious on a Train

[7/10 · 21 January 2023]

Bullet Train earns 7 bags of popcorn. It's an instant classic!

I love Mr. Pitt so I am biased, but this movie is two hours of nonstop fun. Trains are exciting already so add the element of a train that's called a bullet and you got yourself a story.

The plot was very convincing. I thought they portrayed a scenario where many assassins find themselves on the same train very realistically. I don't think this is based on a true story but they could've easily added that in the opening credits and I would have believed it.

The title is also very clever because bullet trains are fast and also deadly just like the story in the film. You have punching, kicking, wrestling, poison, guns, swords, trains. If you take all the fighting scenes in this movie and put them together.

To quote the Tom Cruise movie, "you had me at bullet train". I highly recommend this movie if you're looking to enjoy a Friday night. Maybe you're by yourself, you're a little tired and you don't feel like trying to hang out with friends. Put on this movie and you'll feel like you're with friends.

Nope (2022)

To Nope or not to Nope

[6/10 · 11 January 2023]

Nope earns 6 bags of popcorn. It is a scary thriller set in sunny California.

I did really enjoys the visuals in the movie and the performances of the actors. The movie I thought was pretty well paced and had many tense moments with some humor along the way.

I'm not one to get behind a movie because of the message it sends so I'm not going to comment on the social issues this movie hits on. Some of them are very clear in the film and that's fine but it doesn't excuse some of the major issues it had in the story telling of the movie.

The scariest and and most skin crawling scene of this movie is absolutely the chimpanzee attacking the set and actors. It is difficult to watch and makes you uncomfortable as you anxiously watch to see what happens. My issue with this is that this scene has nothing to do with the main characters. Sure, it's backstory on the man who owns the ranch nearby that has attractions for tourists. And yes, I understand it has to do with the one of the themes of the movie and ties into how the monster or alien behaves as well, but it could be removed completely and wouldn't make the slightest difference in the story.

At the end of the day, it's back story on a side character and does not drive the story forward for the main characters. I'm sure many people would disagree and argue that the scene is relevant to the tone and theme in the story and therefore has its purpose, but it just bothers me that the most tense, on the edge of your seat scene of the movie, in no way involves the main characters or is directly involved in the main story.

That disconnect put me off and contributed to the final act falling a bit flat since it was in no way as tense or memorable as the chimpanzee scene. Again, visuals are great, score and acting are fantastic. My main issue is the unbalanced weight that scene has in comparison to the rest of the film.

The Invitation (II) (2022)

It's not about Zombies

[6/10 · 8 January 2023]

The Invitation earns 6 bags of popcorn. This film is quick to get to the point. The protagonist receives "the invitation" very early on in the story.

The setting is a beautiful British manor in the woods and the house itself is gothic and giant, mesmerizing with so many different rooms. The main character does a great job at playing a person who receives an invitation to a wedding for people she's never met and is in another country.

It's a clever take on a classic love story. I didn't really care for the one British guy who owned the house. The film also missed an opportunity to remake the scene from ghost where they're doing the ceramics. That would have been cool to see that on the big screen again.

Although both movies involve ceramics, this film has almost nothing in common with Ghost. For one there's no ghosts, and two there's no one pretending to be a psychic. I also like the scene where Patrick Swayze lifts the penny through the door.

Overall The Invitation has little in common with Ghost, but is still worth watching if you like British accents.

Love Actually (2003)

It's Love, Actually.

[6/10 · 8 January 2023]

6 bags of popcorn for Love Actually. It's in fact love, actually, actually love.

What a roller coaster of a film. I watched it for the first time this year and wow, what a classic. There are many characters and many of them are in love, actually.

They are not only in love, actually, but are actually pretty cool people too. There's the writer guy, and the British guy, and those models or something and I think there's a kid too and all of them are, yep you guessed it, in love, actually.

I did actually love the movie Love Actually. My brother in law says it's him and his dad's favorite holiday movie. I'm more of an Elf person myself. When buddy eats the spaghetti with syrup, oh boy, it's a riot, actually.

Highly recommend this as a yearly must watch. And if possible, sit down with someone who hasn't see it yet. I think they're gonna love it, actually.

The Pale Blue Eye (2022)

Certainly Intriguing

[6/10 · 8 January 2023]

The Pale Blue Eye earns 6 bags of popcorn. The story unfolds a mystery layer by layer until all is clear and pale-eye blue

Tension is important. Tension builds the suspense and keeps the audience on edge as they anxiously wait to see how the characters will prevail, but this story seems to lack this, at least it did for me.

As they find more pieces of evidence and the case gets closer and closer to being solved, I never felt concerned or worried for our protagonist. That made the final reveal fall completely flat.

I would have preferred to see Bale's character commit the murder right from the start. That would've provided more tension in the story because then I know he's guilty of these murders he's being asked to solve and that he needs to somehow solve these without exposing himself as the culprit. And the story would still have the mystery of who stole the heart.

I think that would have made the story better but I understand this is from a book. I did enjoy the characters and the plot, but overall the story just fell flat for me.

White Noise (I) (2022)

Confusing like the Speed of Light

[3/10 · 6 January 2023]

White Noise earns 3 bags of popcorn. What to say about this film...

It's odd and yeah just odd. There's a train and cloud and smart kids and dad that is in denial but is a Hitler expert and smoke and now the dad is gonna die but probably not for a while and there's pills and more hitler and also Elvis and what are these pills and oh okay now she's cheating and a gun and pills and German nun place and I don't know.

Imagine you're going the speed of light and you're on the freeway. To the side of the road there's a flamingo stranded in a lone puddle. To you the flamingo is motionless but to the flamingo looks up at the stars in the sky and realizes that those aren't even stars, they're little fire flies lighting the way for a better tomorrow. In that instant, you roll down the window. How fast does the window roll down?

Then the movie ends and I'm left wondering what was the point of it all? I guess if anything it's meant to be a character driven film about the dad but the beats of the movie just seem to go no where after building up and then it moves on to something else with the dad being in the center of it all. Those can be interesting films but I don't feel like this one pulled it off.

House of Gucci (2021)

Gucci Movie is Pretty Good

[7/10 · 5 January 2023]

Gucci with Lady Gaga and Adam Drivers earns a 7 bags of popcorn.

I didn't know anything about the Gucci family going into this but I was very shocked to learn what happened with these characters. From the opening scene where Drivers is riding a bicycle to the last scene where we see him again on a bicycle, I was hooked.

Their family history is no longer history. The acting was great. I fully believed they were genuine members of the Gucci family. Lady Gaga's character is a tragic hero with her Achilles heal being money and power while Drivers didn't care about wealth but then he started buying expensive stuff like couches that looked like lips.

I don't own any Gucci except for some cologne that was gifted to me and now sits in my car for in case I fart while driving. The movie still resonated with me despite me not being an active Gucci shopper.

If you like fashion or Italy or family drama then I highly recommend this film.

Holidate (2020)

I thought it was Good

[6/10 · 5 January 2023]

I give this 6 bags of popcorn. Holidate is true to its title and includes many dates on many different holidays.

The actors did a great job at portraying people who need a date on Holidays. The directing was also very good. Their portrayal of the different holidays like Halloween, Christmas, and 4th of July were pretty accurate.

I can't say I ever felt sad about not having a date on a holiday so it was hard to relate to that aspect of the film. But the rest of the story was very relatable. I also missed the beginning so I'm not sure how they came upon this agreement to go on dates every holiday. I thought they were just friends hanging out and for some reason we only see them together on the holidays.

Holidays can be a special time, especially if you're spending it with someone you only see on holidays. Holidate is a fun movie that can be watched anytime of the year. Don't wait for a holiday to enjoy this classic.

Wednesday (2022– )

Wednesday is Great

[8/10 · 5 January 2023]

Wednesday scores 8 bags of popcorn.

I went in with high expectations. I always like watching one of these crazy shows like Riverdale once every year. Unlike Riverdale, this show was actually very enjoyable.

The show has many twist and turns that will keep you guessing. It's a great "whodunnit" and in the end you find out who done it. If you're like me then you will be surprised.

Wednesday is a great character. Her look matched her attitude and her roommate is a good complement. The show balances the dark themes and teen drama with humor and mystery.

I watched nick at nite and tv land growing up but I don't think I really watched the Addams Family. I did go back and watch the movies from the 90's and they are just delightful. I also asked my mom if she liked the Addams Family when she was a kid and she said "yeah". I also asked my dad the same question and he said "yeah" too. They're not together anymore but they share the same opinion on this one.

Wednesday is a fun show and I'll probably watch a second season if it comes out.