bigben5 Reviews

Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde (1995)

Potential comedy falls flat

[1/10 · 25 October 2013]

I remember watching the trailer of this movie when I was 12 and remember how scared I felt at the thought of not only changing into another person but changing into one's antagonist who wanted eliminate the hero from existence. Since then I have watched many adaptations of Robert Stevenson's classic novel Dr. Jekyll and Ms Hyde , and after comparing it to this I see I wasn't missing much.

The premise of this story is so obvious you could write in your sleep: A dumb scientist (Daly) decides to test a potion on himself and turns himself into an evil woman (Young). The transformation scenes are somewhat erotic and kind of kinky but that's all the excitement we get. As soon as Hyde emerges, she declares Jacks to be the enemy, acts like she's always been a girl, and goes on a big shopping spree without a care in world, not even bothering to find out what happened to her and why. This pales in comparison to other films like Switch, where main character at least makes a half-decent attempt to find out what's going on and must deal with the glass ceiling, gender stereotypes, and other societal challenges.

Of course, the main character, Jacks, isn't that likable either. Not only is he dumb enough to test the potion on myself, but he easily allows Helen to conquer him at every turn. All he does is whine and complain that nobody will believe him. And if it wasn't for the help of his girlfriend, Sarah, he'd be stuck as a woman forever! Oh no!

Then there are the plot holes that need to be dealt with. Why is the potion so unstable that Helen and Jacks keep changing into each other? And why was Helen stupid enough to burn her grandfather's formula when it could've made her a millionaire?

The rest of the cast in this movie are also as flat as cardboard and rely a lot of stereotypes to get their point across, except for maybe Lysette Anthony's character, who questions whether her boyfriend is actually insane. It'd be nice if the hero and antagonist offered some insight behind their motives, but apparently that was too much to ask.

Coraline (2009)

Surprisingly one dimensional...

[6/10 · 7 February 2009]

Let me frank here: I love Neil Gaiman (his work, that is), I love Henry Selick, and I love animation. Coraline was the first Gaiman novel I ever read, and when I found out they were making a movie, I literally leaped for joy!

Then I saw the clip online and thought it was weird for Coraline to have blue hair -- okay, not bad. Then I heard she was going to be voiced by Dakota Fanning (Ew), that they rewrote the story so that some kid named Wybie would be in it, and that They Might Be Giants would supply the soundtrack. My hopes were fading...

I'll sum it up for you right now: this movie has the BEST animation Henry Selick has ever done -- bar none! The visuals are breathtaking--no, spectacular! The music was catchy, the jokes were good, and the acting first class. The problem is that the pace of the story moves too quickly and none of the characters, except for Coraline, are given any kind of development.

Coraline obviously proves to the most engaging character throughout the story, but everyone else feels sorely misplaced. Her parents are mean to her one minute, then nice to her the next; Wybie is zero one minute, a hero the next; and the cat goes from being a sarcastic freak of nature to being Coraline's best friend. What happened here? There is virtually no character development.

And what about the plot holes? Yes, I'm sorry to say that even in a film as beautiful as this there are plot holes. Such as, why on earth did Wybie give Coraline the doll in the first place? Why didn't the Other Mother just give it to Coraline herself? Why isn't Coraline the least bit scared when she sees the Other Mother for the first time? Would she really be courageous enough to eat there after just having eaten in the real world? How come Coraline's parents can't remember what happened after they've been released from the snow globe? And why does Coraline act like nothing is wrong when the cat suddenly begins talking to her in the tunnel. Obviously, I'm over-analyzing things here, but many of the film's faults are glaringly on the surface.

Overall, I have to say that The Nightmare Before Christmas still remains my favorite Selick film. Coraline is GOOD, but at least ALL the characters in Nightmare were one- dimensional, whereas Coraline is the only three-dimensional thing going.

The Dark Knight (2008)

This movie was a joke...

[1/10 · 28 July 2008]

C'mon folks, you call this movie a masterpiece? The greatest movie of all-time? Sheesh, I thought people had higher standards than this.

The only reason why people went to see this movie is because it was Heath Ledger's last performance. And boy, does he deliver! But is it really worthy of an Oscar? Well, that depends on how you interpret The Joker.

To be fair, there is no right way to interpret The Joker. His past is just as mysterious as his motivation. But how can you create a character with absolutely no history and expect him to be believable? In the comics, his name was Jack Napier, a thug/ comedian who fell into a bath of chemicals that bleached his skin as white as snow. He had only one motivation for all the mayham he caused -- to amuse himself. This back story, that I've just given you, makes the villain far more credible than he was in the film. Even Charles Manson, one of the greatest killers of all- time, had a motivation for killing that made sense to him, but in this film we are never given any insight as to what this might be.

Okay, so I have no problem with Heath Ledger winning an Oscar here. Then why did this movie suck? Because it was created for shock value instead of for entertainment.

This movie has no plot. "The Joker wrecks havoc on Gotham," is pretty much the only storyline you get. There are cars blowing up, people blowing up, people screaming blue murder and other bits of mayhem that make as much a sense as people screaming for mercy in a Godzilla film. Did Batman really have to fly all the way to Hong Kong to capture a corrupt banker or was that a ploy from the Chinese government to showcase the area for the 2008 Olympics? Why can't Christian Bale fight after all this time? Do you think those people on the boat would have talked things out in a "civilized" manner with the bombs about to explode? Me thinks pandemonium would have ensued, and that in the real world they would have dead in 10 seconds flat. Can you really set 30 million cell phones off to find one person? I think the writers wrote themselves into a corner on that one.

Another thing that bugs me about this film is Two-face. The movie doesn't give lip-service to his love for duality at all. He just wakes up and goes "Gee, I have a burnt face. May as well use it for scaring kids," and runs off plugging people, serving up his own brand of justice. To say that he was a hero was laughable, as people serve up their own brand of justice all the time. All you need to do is walk down the wrong alley at the wrong time to see what I mean.

Overall, this film was terrible. Christian Nolan's vision of creating a modern Batman kills the whimsical charm and poetic lyricism established in the earlier movies directed by Tim Burton. Besides, Danny Elfman's theme will always be the defining music of the Dark Knight.

By the way, what ever happened to the Bat Cave? They should never have taken that out.

Juno (2007)

Like a breath of fresh air....sort of

[6/10 · 3 February 2008]

I saw this movie last week and thought it was excellent. Now I'm starting to wonder why I liked it so much.

The premise of the story (as we all know) is this: 16-year-old Juno McGuff gets pregnant and gives the baby away. There really isn't that much plot to it. In fact, your average Spot book has more plot than there is to be found in this movie. What really makes Juno unique however, is the approach with which they deal with the subject matter.

In the real world Juno would probably have been disowned, had an abortion, or committed suicide. But instead she is portrayed as a brash, disgusting, overconfident tomboy, with a Gung-ho attitude about everything. Her parents are surprisingly supportive and there are just a lot of cultural issues (such as abortion clinics, condoms, and drugs) to poke fun at.

Here's what I didn't like about the movie:

• The joke with the boys in their short shorts got lame pretty quickly.

• The Paulie Bleaker character doesn't do anything to own up for what he did to Juno. Sure, I know he doesn't have much confidence to begin with, but it sure makes for a weak and unlikeable character. Juno ends up having to do everything.

• And that love song at the end destroyed my suspension of disbelief. In what was already a whimsical and zany world, I find it difficult to find two lovers (er, kids) singing love songs simultaneously to one another. Did we really have to sit through the full two minutes of it?

Bottom line: This is probably the most original movie I have seen in a long while, offering one of the most memorable characters in ages. It's freshness is akin to eating a piece of moldy bread and liking it because of the flavor.

Mr. Bean's Holiday (2007)

Mr. Bean goes to Hell

[1/10 · 27 August 2007]

If you want to know what Mr. Bean 2 is about, all you have to do is watch the first movie twice.

This movie was essentially a silent film, with a lot of recycled Mr. Bean gags and footage from a very shaky camcorder. Here are some samples of recycled gags:

• Mr. Bean locks himself in an outhouse. Sound familiar?

• Mr. Bean tries to get rid of some slimy oysters (that look like snot) by dumping them in a woman's purse.

• Mr. Bean tries to cheer up a depressed little boy- and fails.

• Mr. Bean chases a bus ticket across the countryside like he did in the episode with the golf ball

• Mr. Bean, on the site of a film set, unplugs a very important electrical outlet which results in an explosion just to recharge his camcorder.

I'm not saying that this movie didn't have it's genuine funny moments, but they were few and far between. You should probably spend your time watching the "Best of Mr. Bean" instead. The ending was also truly horrible and unbelievable, as all of a sudden every single person on the beach breaks character and sings along with Mr. Bean like they are on Broadway, making everything feel fake and pointless. Also, wouldn't the girl picking up a hitchhiker like Bean, be scared out of her mind? I know I would.

Transformers (2007)

American Pie meets Transformers.

[1/10 · 14 July 2007]

This was one crappy movie and a pain to watch. Just hearing Optimus Prime utter "Oops my bad", made me want to bolt for the door. Anyway, here is just a brief summary of all the good and bad this movie has to offer.

The Good:

• The transformations- I'm surprised at how well they made the transformations work. Optimus Prime, Bumblebee and Megatron don't look half as bad as I thought they would. It's nice to see the parts warp and change instead of watching these big blocky characters that were in the cartoon.

The Bad:

On my, where do I start...

• The jokes were awful. For some reason they decided to make this movie as a crossover between American Pie and Transformers. Bumblee "lubricating" the man and Sam masturbating, just wasn't funny. The only people who were laughing in the audience were little kids.

• The humans stole the show. I thought Transformers was supposed to be about the Transformers themselves, who each had unique personalities with a little human action thrown in the background. Instead the tables are reversed, where we are FORCED to spend lengthy amounts of time with characters the audience truly doesn't give a rat's ass about. Who cares about Sam Whitwickey? Or that smart programming chick? Or that fat donut eater? Who honestly gives? This is a Transformers movie folks, not a love story with some dumb robots thrown in for kicks. Oh and Sam himself, was super, duper irritating and annoying.

• The choreography was terrible. Some fight scenes were cool enough but the shaky camera movements and extreme closeups made it difficult to tell what was going on. The fight between Megatron and Optimus proved to be extremely disappointing, as we are only given a few shots of Optimus punching and tripping Megatron, while the army tries to destroy Blackout.

-They completely destroyed the Transformers back story. Those even remotely interested in the Transformers will know that they came from Cybertron and that their ship crashed on Earth only to be revived centuries later. But here Cybertron is destroyed to pieces with no chance of it ever being revived. Well, I guess the Transformers are screwed folks ... but they already were when Michael Bay decided to direct.

In short, if you were expecting to see a movie about the Transformers, you were sadly mistaken. Be prepared to spend hours focusing on Sam and his loser girlfriend instead. Also, why the hell did it take an hour and a half for Optimus Prime to show up in the first place- that to me, is a disgrace.

Spider-Man 3 (2007)

And I thought Catwoman was bad!!

[1/10 · 5 May 2007]

Catwoman may be a terrible movie ,but it is God compared to this load of crap...

Let's get this straight, there are two things fundamentally wrong with this film: A shallow plot that is devoid of all logic and the fact that they tried to cram about two hundred comic books into one movie.

For those of you who haven't seen Spiderman 3, it would be a good idea to park your brain at the door before stepping inside the theater. A lot of things simply make no sense and feel forced in order to get their point across. For example, I thought that Peter Parker and Mary Jane had already tied the knot given the way Spiderman 2 ended- at least it was implied that way. MJ leaves Harry standing at the altar in order to be with the man she truly loved - Peter- the dweeb she kept putting down until she realized it was him who was her Knight in Shining Armor all this time. But no, one innocent kiss on stage to another woman, causes MJ to throw a fit and suddenly they no longer love each other. Hello? Does that sound credible folks? Apparently Mary Jane feels very insecure, as him saving her LIFE twice in the previous films doesn't count as being loyal. Other examples of things not making sense, include Harry choosing to help Spiderman defeat Venom and Sandman after Peter nearly beat him to the brink of death. He threw a grenade at him that exploded one inch away from his face, permanently scarring him. Now for some reason he is still alive and easily forgives Pete, after his butler tells him that his father died by his own hand. Really? How did he figure that out? And if the old man figured it out then, why is he telling Harry now? Why wait until he starts killing people? Some people have tried to explain that the serum that Harry drank kept him alive, but if his father could easily die with two blades piercing his stomach, don't you think a grenade would have blown Harry's head to bits?

The second problem, as I mentioned before is the problem of cramming too many comic books into one movie. A lot of things simply feel under developed and rushed. In the comic book, Peter Parker gets under Eddie Brock's skin a number of times, breaking him to a point where he can't take it anymore, forcing him to seek revenge with the aid of the suit. In this movie all Peter has to do is prove that Eddie's photograph if Spiderman is a fake and apparently Eddie was dumb enough to bring the evidence along with him and lay it out on the table for Peter to find. Eddie loses his job and loses everything in a minute. They also tried with little success to make the Sandman a very tragic character, almost every time you seem him he is looking at a picture of his daughter and shedding tears. But it is never explained what his daughter is sick from nor why it costs all millions of dollars to cure her. Perhaps, it would be better to force a surgeon to perform surgery on her instead.

Finally, there is a lot of cheesy romance in this film that forces Peter and everyone else to cry every 10 minutes. The scene with Peter and Mary Jane crying at the bridge sent everyone in the theater roaring with laughter. It's so bad and felt so rushed that you have to see it to believe it.

So was there anything good about this film? Well, sure, the cameo by Bruce Campbell. He was hilarious. Then again, they had to write a good part for him, otherwise he'd probably sue.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Barely made sense

[6/10 · 13 July 2006]

Honestly, it feels like watching King Kong all over again. In King Kong it took about an hour and a half for Kong himself to finally show up, here it was about the same, needing a full hour before the villain Davy Jones shows his big tentacled face.

I won't repeat what other reviewers have said other than the fact that this movie could have been reduced by an hour and not have lost any of the drama and excitement it contained. Remember Hollywood: Less is more. Did we really need to have the whole cannibal tribe thing when it wasn't even part of the storyline? How about the whole Liar's dice scene which served absolutely no purpose at all. Is it so much to write a scene that has meaning to it?

Finally, I didn't really like how this movie was a melting pot for combining all different sea legends together into one big conglomerate mess. But then again Disney never comes up with anything original anymore, does it?

Corpse Bride (2005)

Great animation, razor thin plot

[7/10 · 8 October 2005]

Tim Burton has to be one of my favorite directors of all time. It's not just his talent but his sick and twisted imagination that makes things interesting to watch. Things don't just come to life , they are elaborate and pop out at you, dragging you into the world he creates. Such is the case with Corpse Bride. It's a delight to watch but unfortunately, is only able to hold itself together with a razor thin plot that keeps the mess from falling apart - just like a real corpse.

The plot holes in the movie are many and its only fair to list a few. For one, all the characters in the film are one-dimensional and its very difficult to sympathize or know any of them. Why is Emily so desperate to wed? Why is Victor such a wimp? What is his background? The characters might as well have been labeled character A and B, for the film never bothers to answer them. Then again, the film was too short anyway.

Another big plot point that ruins the film is the love between Victor and Victoria. Funny how their names are similar isn't it? Both characters suffer from what I call the Titanic syndrome. I remember when the Titanic first came out in theaters, everyone cried when Leonardo Dicaprio's character died. I thought it was stupid because the two hadn't met for more than 3 days and nobody in the real world ever falls in love that quickly. It's the same thing with Victor and Victoria, both characters have NEVER met and yet in their first encounter they swear eternal love for each other. I don't know about you but I don't find prearranged marriages very romantic, nor can I understand why Victor falls for Victoria when he spends all of his screen time with Emily, the Corpse Bride.

Still another point to be considered is the world of the dead which Emily comes from. For one, how is it that Victor is able to live for several days down there without food and water? I also don't get how Emily knows everyone down there, when she says she spent all of her time lying under a dead tree, waiting for her love to free her. So which is it? Is it her spirit that inhabits the underworld or her actual physical body? She can't be in two places at the same time!

Now for some good points.

The animation itself is probably the best I've seen for a stop-motion picture to date. It flows much more fluidly and natural than anything I've ever seen before. Even the colors are good. There are also a lot of heart-warming and funny moments, all carefully crafted, which make it an enjoyable movie. Even the musical scores by Danny Elfman are good (well, not all of them). For the most part it seemed like a convenient way to explain things that should have been part of the plot. "So why are you dead Emily?", "Good question Victor, let's sing about it!"

All in all, I do recommend this movie and DID enjoy it despite it's flaw. It makes for a great flick for kids and adults for all ages. Just make sure to park your brain at the door when you watch it.

B

Bean (1997)

The lovable mime

[7/10 · 22 July 2005]

This is a rather interesting movie, in which Mr. Bean is forced to become a hero to save others of his own blundering mess. And it works well.

Although he doesn't say much (if anything at all) you can't help but feel for this guy. Here's a guy who is a total loser in real life, who has no friends, is very stupid and screws up even the simplest of tasks, ruining the lives of countless others for our own amusement- but he does have a good heart, which is his number one redeeming quality and makes him so lovable. He won't let others suffer from his mistakes. The performances by the other actors are also quite well done and the musical score by Howard Goodall (Mad Pianos) makes this movie very enjoyable.

Sure, the plot itself is a bit predictable and simplistic at best. But it's very well executed and makes it worth the $5 you would pay to rent it at a video store. Not an Oscar winner by any means but definitely better than most crappy movies you see on cable television.

Batman Begins (2005)

This movie ruined Batman for me

[1/10 · 19 June 2005]

Whether you like this version of Batman or not ultimately depends on how faithful you are to the classics. I am a huge fan of Batman the Animated series created by Bruce Timm and Paul Dini, as well as Tim Burton's Gothic interpretations, not to mention the Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller.

Batman to me has always been a tale of how good people fall into sin and how everyone has a dark side. The star of the show isn't Batman himself, but the supporting cast of villains, each committing acts of crime out of revenge or redemption. All of them had a heart and were once human, now trapped in a shell of a monster. The profound thing about it all, was that Batman himself was just as insane as the people he brought in, only he believed he was fighting on the right side of the law. You get none that here. All villains commit random acts of terror, determined to destroy Gotham because they think its a cesspool.

But I think the thing that bugged me the most was how they fundamentally changed Bruce Wayne's character in this movie. In the animated series, he is indeed portrayed as tortured soul but he also comes across as being a highly intelligent and sophisticated man. He was able to take down guys like Superman in Dark Night Returns, simply because he was able to outsmart him and was very resourceful. A key point that they missed in this movie was the inner struggle Bruce Wayne has to want to give it all up and settle down with someone he loves. One of my favorite moments for example, is in Mask of the Phantasam where Bruce Wayne is at his parents grave in a thunder storm, begging them to release him of his vow. He is in love with Andrea and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He cries and begs for a sign, in which Andrea then shows up and two begin crying in each others arms. Bruce was actually happy. It wasn't until Andrea left him that he accepted his fate as Batman.

This Batman has none of the human qualities from above. He can't laugh at himself and is full of pure anger and rage. He's almost like Spawn. In fact, the parallels are dead similar with him scaring the crap out of his villains before taking them down. Spawn of course is cooler given that he actually gives the bad guys what they deserve by decapitating them limb by limb.

Okay, so let's not compare animation and comics, let's just focus on the film instead. Does it surpass in Tim Burton's movies? Hell no. Sure, Tim Burton didn't have all of the special effects technology that we have today but his twisted imagination allowed him to create a world that was totally Gothic and true to me. I liked the idea of smiling clowns blowing fire from their mouths and monkeys armed with machine guns. The Batman of the past was actually fun to watch as he'd stuff the fiery baton down the jesters throat and pick up two mimes and knock them out by bashing their heads together. It was always the cutest of things doing the evilest of deeds, like the marching penguins in Batman Returns.

Burton was also faithful to the love interests of Bruce Wayne as well. It was always set up like a Greek tragedy with the love of his life being the villain he tried to stop. I also like the old Batman costume, the old batmobile and the old batwing. Michael Keaton also played a much better Batman than Christian Bale in that he always looked cool and in control. In this movie, Bale sounds like he has a frog stuck in his throat whenever he tries to speak and the mask he wears makes his head look a bit too big.

But I think the crushing blow came at the end, when they tried to reintroduce the Joker. I loved Tim Burton's version because the Joker's whole purpose in that movie was to harass Batman, being that he killed his parents and was the one villain who could outsmart him. I hated how they changed that because Batman in reality is just as responsible for putting villains in his own life as they are for fueling his drive for vengeance.

Overall, I have to say that this movie was bad. The fights scenes made no sense whatsoever and were put together by a bunch of stunt men, made up of 60 different takes. It totally blew up everything I came to love and respect about the dark knight and lacked the emotion and humanity of the original series. We didn't need another movie explaining his past, Mask of the Phantasam did a much better job with a lower budget too.

I understand that they want to remake Batman for the new generation of fans but if this is the best they can do, then I'm hopping of this train right now. In the meantime, I'll just stick to the classics to remember Batman in his glory days.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Even Lawrence Kasdan and Leigh Brackett couldn't save this one...

[5/10 · 26 May 2005]

For those Star Wars fans who don't know who Lawrence Kasdan and Leigh Brackett are, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Lawrence Kasdan was the screenplay writer who helped edit out most of Lucas's God awful dialog and Leigh Brackett, was the one who wrote the original screenplay Empire Strikes Back. Maybe they deserve more credit for making Star Wars the success that it is because, without them the franchise just sucks.

Okay, so how about this movie? Well it had it's moments, especially when it came to the fight scenes. Yoda vs. Sith. Good. Obi-Wan vs Anakin. Good. How about General Greivous and Obi-Wan? Also good. The fight scenes are very well choreographed and saved the movie from being a terrible mess.

If it's one thing that really ruined the whole movie it was the non-existent character development of Anakin Skywalker. It is here that Geroge Lucas tries to transform the pansy into the dark lord that we should all be afraid of. Lucas throws around plenty of "motivation". His wife is going to die; he is denied the rank of master; he must spy on his beloved mentor Palpatine and so forth. It just feels so rushed and delivered with no emotion whatsoever.

"How dare they deny me the rank of master!" shouts Anakin. Apparently this is enough to become evil and suspicious of the Jedi. "The Jedi are power hungry" says Palpatine. Then "I must destroy them". Then he lops of Mace Windu's arm and cries "Oh no, what have I done?" He is traumatized for about...3 seconds and then vows eternal loyalty to Lord Sith. And all to save his wife. Apparently they are the perfect couple because they both deliver the same cheesy unemotional lines to each other. As one reviewer put it, they lust for each other, there is no genuine love.

Also, it's hard to feel sympathy for Anakin who doesn't exhaust all his options before turning to the dark side. How about taking her to a doctor and watch every attempt to save her life fail before seeking the dark master. No! How about showing a little emotion after killing 50 kids with your light saber? No! All the Jedi's seem to be little pansies after being wiped out so easily.

And the worst of all is having Padme die at the end of the movie. Despite being 100% healthy. She just lost the will to live because good IL' George just needed to get rid of her before the story ended. And what about the stupid idiotic lines of Anakin as the modern Dath Vader. It looked like it was ripped from Frankenstein.

Overall, the action scenes and the special effects made this movie watchable. I wouldn't mind seeing more of them so long as the characters don't say anything.

Sin City (2005)

Best comic book movie ever!

[10/10 · 3 April 2005]

I am new to the world of Frank Miller and his work but I did read his Dark Night Return's book which I thought was extremely well written at the time. This movie literally blows away any comic book movie I've seen before both plot wise and artistically. Personally I'm sick of superheros that wear masks and fight some retard bad guy that also has some corny super power.

Sin City is much more satisfying for me due to the fact that its based on a story of vengeance and payback where the enemy deserves to die and the audience roots when justice is delivered. There is a lot of violence and gore to this movie but the good thing is that it all fits in with the storyline and you don't get a feel that its overdone. The acting was great and the movie was ten times better than that of Sky Captain.

So if you want to see a great action/ thriller than this is a must. But be sure to leave the kids at home. Never mind, I saw them in the audience anyway.

Million Dollar Baby (2004)

Well I saw it...

[30 January 2005]

If you want to see heart wrenching emotion, please tune into CNN sometime to check out the latest Tsunami disaster updates. There you can hear stories that really will break your heart. Maybe it's just all the emotion of the new year ( along with the fact that someone so gladly spoiled the movie for me before I saw it) but I personally found this movie to be dull, manipulative and uninvolving.

It reminds me of the time when I saw the Titanic and saw people around me crying, while I was glad that Leonard DiCaprio Died. I did cry when I saw Forrest Gump, but this, well it didn't leave me feeling anything, simply because there are too many plot holes.

I can't review this fairly, without going into some of the SPOILERS so here's A WARNING NOW

First off the acting was great, what more can you expect from Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood and Hiliary Swank.

But there are a lot of things that just don't make sense.

One. Frankie (Clint Eastwood) is having bad troubled relations with his daughter who never opens any of the letters he sends. AND YET the cause of the bad relationship is never explained. IT JUST IS. I thought that they might go into his psyche as to why he feels the way he does but the movie never really develops this.

Second. AFTER the bell rings, Maggie goes back into her corner and then gets decked in the neck, paralyzing her from the neck down. Now, the problem was is that the dirty fighter was declared the winner! WTF. In real life, she would have been disqualified because the bell ALREADY RANG before the punch was thrown. Maggie would be declared the champ, even though, she could never defend it. But instead she loses.

Third. Maggie decides she wants to die by way of Euthanasia. It is to be a "peaceful death". Okay, so first Frankie takes off her mask. She can't even breath without it, wouldn't it cause her to sputter, choke and die first. But instead she is happy. So he then pulls the plug, which would have caused all her body organs to die. And then, sticks the needle in her arm killing her. Seems like they should've got it the other way around. They should have stuck the needle in her and let her die, before unplugging the machine and pulling off the mask.

Oh and Morgan Freeman is a dummy in this movie. He doesn't do much in the way of plot. He explains to the audience in these fancy montages that Maggie just keeps getting better. It would be nice to actually SEE her getting better instead of this quick change from waitress to champion.

And then we're supposed to cry when she dies. I'm sorry, I'd rather watch Forrest Gump all over again.

Seed of Chucky (2004)

Not as bad as they say it is (mild spoilers)

[6/10 · 13 November 2004]

Being that this was a chucky movie, I didn't really set my expectations too high. I guess I was just looking to have a little fun. Granted it wasn't the most brilliant movies in terms of plot, but I went to see Chucky and have a good laugh- and that's where it delivered.

I guess the plot is the only thing that good be improved on. The movie felt a bit rushed for one, and therefore where some continuing scenes put together which didn't make a whole lot of sense. There also weren't that many horror elements to it, and compared to the Bride it was even less scary. Chucky doesn't kill that many people and the whole kung fu scene in the end was a little lame, as was some of the CG animation.

Overall, I realize this wasn't a movie for everyone, but overall it was enjoyable and worth seeing at least once .

Spider-Man 2 (2004)

Best comic book movie ever! - (SLIGHT SPOILERS)

[12 July 2004]

When I first heard this movie was coming up, I thought: "Why Bother? It's just going to be the same thing over and over again". Good guy goes insane, captures Mary Jane and Spider-man saves the day. But boy was I in for a surprise.

Probably the most surprising thing about this movie is how all the characters have matured into real people. Before they were all cardboard, now you get a feel of what they are like inside. Tobey Maguire gives an excellent performance of Spiderman who has to work extra hard to pretend that he doesn't love Mary Jane (Kristen Dunst) and it's touching. However, I think the whole thing of creating sympathy for Parker was a bit over done. It's not bad enough that he loses the girl of his dreams, but he loses his health, his job, his home, etc. It almost becomes a comical joke and it's because they didn't have anything to build on from the first movie.

The script was also far superior as well. They managed to raise the stakes emotionally, as well as the danger. Dr. Octopus was also a much freakier and stronger villain than the Green Goblin ever was because you knew he was mentally ill, insane and a powerful freak. I also liked how they adapted his arms to each have a mind of a own and to be able to see - which I think is really cool. Even better was the fight scenes and the webslinging was even better!.

Now here's the spoiler!. Some people felt disappointed with the ending because they felt all the loose ends were tied up when Peter Parker and Mary Jane chose to be with one another. Well it's not and here's why. In the comic book itself much of the story is dealt with Mary Jane being Spiderman's sidekick. Though she has absolutely no powers at all, they make a great team couple and are supposed to throughout their lives. They're young, funny and go through a lot of mischief and adventure. It's also interesting because you get to see what it's like to be the wife of a super hero.

The second dumb part is when the trains people see Spiderman with his mask off. One of them says, "Don't worry Spiderman, we won't tell". Yeah right, how can you ever trust a 7 year old kid.

Last but not least, I thought it was STUPID to have the Green Goblin come back. Harry will now mostly become the new Green Goblin. That sucks because I want to see a new villain and not see them reuse the same ones over an over. Of course, there's no final word on whether or not Doc Oc is dead - for I certainly like to see him back once again to fight Spidey.

Despite it's flaws and the fact that it may have been a little too long. It's a worthy movie.

9/10

Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)

Made total sense... and I didn't even see the first Kill Bill (slight spoiler)

[9/10 · 8 May 2004]

I heard this movie was really good, but was skeptical from the start because I hadn't seen he very first movie. Not to worry, the plot makes total sense and this movie fills in all the details you need to know. Further still, the acting was really good and so was the script. Probably the most disturbing thing about this film, I found, was the way Beatrice finishes off Ellen. It just looked so realisitc, painful and way too gory. Very realistic indeed. I think the star of this film however, is Bill, the actor did a great job of portraying a villain with a sense of humor so well that it helped carry the movie when Uma Thurman's acting looked awkward. Speaking of Uma Thurman you can tell that she's not at all a very good fighter - she looks too awkward at moments and you cant tell some of the work has been done by a stunt double.

I was also surprised at how graphic this movie is when you factor in the horror of Beatrice being buried alive. One minor gripe however is the way they show which chapter of the novel is playing, as well as that stupid actor that plays Pai Mei. I know him well. He stars in a lot of crappy chinese soap operas. Not only was it clear to me that he couldn't act at all but that they got the translations done all wrong. I understand Chinese perfectly and it only makes Uma Thurman sound stupid by giving simple answers to complex questions. Nonetheless, this movie is noteworthy.

A

Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)

It sucked... (SPOILERS)

[10/10 · 11 April 2004]

I don't know what came over me thinking that this movie would be fun to watch and might actually be better than the original. I was wrong.

To be fair I didn't enter this movie, expecting it to be bad, all I wanted was to unwind and have some fun but all of the jokes are trite lame and stupid. The acting seems mediocre to me in this film and the CGI Scooby Doo looks faker than ever. The movie starts off on a promising note but it all goes down hill right after the masked mans first appearance. Honestly, I don't know how you can not figure out the identity of the villain behind it, and they had to throw in an extra twist in the end which only made it worse in my estimation.

Sarah Michelle Gellar seems out of place and so does Freddy Prize Jr along with Alicia Silverstone. Let's just put it this way, I actually feel SORRY for these guys having wasted their talent on this junk.

SPOILER

I thought it was friggin stupid to have Heather actually be Dr. Jacobo in disguise, who was also the masked man. That was the dumbest ending I have seen. To me, it would have been so much cooler if Heather was Jacobo's girlfriend instead or had some other vendetta against Mystery Inc. Scooby and Shaggy do save the day but there is also a little too much mush and gush about it. The clapping at the end was gay.

Scooby-Doo (2002)

What were they thinking...

[2 April 2004]

By cutting out all of the extra scenes, they excluded what would have been great adult humor for fans of the show that have already grown up. If you ever get to rent the DVD, take a look and you'll see, that the movie makes much more sense and is a lot funnier with the added scenes included.

Besides the fact that the plot is virtually non-existent in this story, there are some good points to point out. For one, Matthew Lillard creates a fabulous performance at portraying the loveable Shaggy from the cartoons. And Rowan Atkinson's mere presence helps to give it a boost.

Sarah Michelle Gellar, seems out of place in this movie. Try as hard as she might, I don't think she will ever escape the image of being the rip-your-throat-out-and-feed-it-to-the-dogs Buffy that we have all come to love and know. Besides, she looks better as a blond too. It just seems completely unbelievable for her to play the damsel in distress and it kind of makes it look silly for her character to go hand-to-hand combat with her foes. I predict that from now on, all her future movies will have her doing some kung fu fighting in order to live up to that image, and if it doesn't it'll be a flop (maybe) ;)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997–2003)

No, I didn't like it.

[2 April 2004]

I tried to like this show. I honestly did.

I'd watch it at my cousins place and would for his sake watch whatever he liked. There are a few good things about it though, for one the acting was extremely well done and the storylines were mature and gory enough to keep ones interest. It's probably the darkest, funniest and wittiest I have seen from any other show to date, with the exception of Spawn.

But the rest of the stuff seemed like a bore.

Maybe it's because vampires and werewolves aren't my thing. Oooooo... I've got play-doh plastered on my face and now I'm a vampire. Better watch out. Or, 'Oh no, I'm turning into a werewolf, please someone save me'. It also seemed ridiculous for a 5'3" girl to be throwing vampires over her shoulder like she's in some WWF tournament cause that's what it looked like to me. In the end Buffy always saves the day (of course, or there'd be no show) but the formula is trite.

Think what you will, but to me this show has the word 'lame' written all over it.

My Life as a Teenage Robot (2002–2023)

astro boy meet astro girl for the new generation

[1 February 2004]

This show is weird. In case you haven't read, it's about a super high tech fighting machine called XJ9 who is given a human personality and wants to live as a human teenager for a change. It's kind of a mix between Astro Boy and Pinnochio for the new generation. Jenny (or XJ9 as her mother calls her) is kind of a cute, fun loving character in that she has a heart of a teenager but is trapped inside a robot shell.

Still, I can't quite say that I like the classic animation style and the world that Jenny lives in, with aliens and robots trying to take over the world everyday is just too strange for me. In the end, I guess this series is okay... the teenage popularity and social stuff can always be used as fun but grows tiring very quickly.

Captain Planet and the Planeteers (1990–1996)

propaganda at it's worst

[1 February 2004]

I don't know what the producers were thinking when they made this show. Apparently they thought that this type of show would influence kids to take better care of the environment- wrong. Good guys pick up garbage and bad guys create it, so I guess we're all evil to some extent. I remember it had the reverse effect as everyone of my classmates hated the show and deliberately created more garbage on the playground more, had more fights and loved singing anti-captain planet songs. It has a great voice cast though, and that's the only good there was of it.

What's New, Scooby-Doo? (2002–2006)

Like it but the plot is wearing thin. (light spoiler)

[30 December 2003]

I'll be honest, I actually like this show. I like the fact that Scooby Doo and gang have finally returned to form. I also like the bright and cheery atmosphere as well as the mystery of figuring out the identity of the culprit. The monsters are well designed for once and the masks are now capable of showing emotion and making monster noises. What I don't like however, is the fact that the formula hasn't changed one bit for the new age and that all episodes start and end in a very predictable fashion.

This is how it goes EXACTLY:

In the beginning, there is always some monster that is terrorizing some place and Scooby and the gang just happen to show up to help solve the case. It's usually always one of the first three sub characters introduced that is the culprit, usually the opposite of what the monster itself is like. If the monster is super strong, then the culprit is in fact really weak. If it is tall, then the culprit is short. You get the idea. Anyway, Scooby and Shaggy always split up from the gang and get the c**p scared out of them when the monster shows up. Meanwhile the gang manages to find clues because the culprit actually helps give them some. The monster then shows up for a chase scene. More clues are then found, Velma then says: " I have a pretty good idea who's behind this". They then capture the monster and unmask it to reveal his or her's true identity. And of course the villains always deliver the classic line: " And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!".

The reason for the crime is even worse. It's never because "I was a sadistic little bitch with nothing else to do " but some dumb pathetic reason like, "she stole my underwear and so I vowed revenge". Apparently that's a good enough reason to run down Wal-Mart and buy a $2 costume, so you can run around scaring the c**p out of people again and again until someone throws your ass in jail. Don't these people know that there are other methods for violence and mayhem that are much more subtle and effective? Why not just kill the person? Or just sabotage the deal using your own two hands. Instead of running away from the monster, kick'em in the nuts. Take out a weapon and fight him off. There are tons of possibilities here...

All I'm really saying is that the Scooby audience is now all grown up and as such it would be nice to see some new concepts that help fit with that audience.

All Grown Up! (2003–2008)

Lame

[26 December 2003]

Wow, so they're all grown up and in their preteens. Hmm... for some reason this show lacks the innocence that the old shows had. In the old days shows would always start with things being seen through the eyes of a kid, in fact that was pretty much the whole premise of the show - kids trying to figure out and understand the world around them. The adventures they had then weren't really special but the perspective was interesting.Not so with this show, everybody's been a preteen at some point in their life and so there really is nothing out of the ordinary to expect. It's all been done before through other shows like Recess, Doug and so forth. Just name a theme and it's already been done, if not better by other shows.

Speaking of the characters, they really haven't changed at all, instead they've evolved into the more stereotypical characters you'd expect at that age. There's more bitching, moaning and squealing over the dumbest things in life and the parents are dumber than ever. The storylines are predictable at best but one thing does remain is that the acting talent is still there.

In conclusion this show is crap, so don't bother seeing it. You're better off doing something else

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)

Very profound, strong ending and quite funny... (SPOILERS)

[27 November 2003]

I can totally understand why Ken Kesley was so angry for changing the movie from Chief Brodman's perspective to McMurphy's. To me it was really the Chief who learned to change but the audience related more to McMurphy, as he was such a dynamic character.

To me this movie is extremely profound, in that the men in the mental institute constituted a reflection of society which was being contolled by the beliefs fed by them by Nurse Rachett. She was trying to help them with her therapy but it only made things worse as they became more weak and needy as a result. The truth was that there was nothing at all wrong with any of them, some of them just didn't have the courage to live in the harsh reality called the world and some were just convinced that they couldn't do anything and so did't. McMurphy cures them by helping them to be free, by having fun and enjoying the wonders of life. In the end they become so much more better off from his treatment than from hers.

I guess in real life we do the same don't we?. We listen to pop psychologist and gurus talk, while letting counselors and suppossed experts make all of our decisions for us. We then become dependent on their advice and lose confidence in our abilities. Not to say that all of them don't have anything useful to offer but when you start to rely on them and instead stop relying on yourself then you're in trouble.

There were some sucky things about this movie that I noticed.

SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

I have very little sympathy for McMurphy for not escaping when he had the chance. The window of opportunity was wide open and yet he overslept but then again this is part of his character.

I did have a lot of sympathy however, when McMurphy got the lobtomy at the very end. It turns out that society won and that his reward for making life in the institute better for others, was to be degraded into being less than human when compared to the other patients.

Finally, you realize that the it's Chief's story and that he learned from McMurphy's example. He then breaks loose from the chains of inferority and powerlessness and escapes. That was beautiful.

All in all.

A+