A Scanner Darkly Reviews

A Zed & Two Noughts (1985)

Pretentious: making claim to or creating an appearance of (often undeserved) importance or distinction

[1/10 · 24 October 2005]

I am normally a very open-minded film connoisseur as I see film as potentially the greatest art form since the 'invention' of music. Films like Russian Ark, Au hasard Balthazar, anything by Bergman, Irreversible, Fitzcarrldo, Izo, The Mirror, Naked, Hana-Bi, Fallen Angels, What Time is it There?, Weekend, Tokyo Drifter, The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, etc to name a few, are all films that can express & transcend the very medium of film to convey emotions, thoughts, moods, & ideas that cannot be expressed by any other means in art. Most importantly the works breathe in essence because behind every one of them is a director/artist that is creating the film. A real creator using the creative process to form something that is at heart, only a reel of film.

Now, with all that said, I must say that cinematic projection (I will not grace the words film with it) was by & large the absolute WORST thing i've ever had the misfortune to see in my life thus far. Nothing about this in any way is constructive/deconstructive to any end since it's so busying wanking off in order to make itself as worthless as possible. In all serious regards, i've never seen anything in my life that was as absolutely pretentious & just plain worthless as this. Nothing. This was so far abstracted that anything it bothered to try & 'say' is completely laughable. Nothing i've ever seen comes close to perfectly surmising the word pretentious as this.

Nothing in element of shot composition (haha), dialog, music, etc can rise this above being the most vacant excuse for pretentious ejaculation on screen. To compare, I for one enjoy Matthew Barney's Crewmaster works which many find completely pretentious/inaccessible. As inaccessible as Barney seems, one can see an artist creating something. Even with all his Vaseline melting, hardcore band dueling, naked women swimming, at heart is a creator who while oblique, creates something that can in the very least creating with regard. Here all we have is pure wankery that attempts simultaneously to pretend to say something, while meaning absolutely nothing at the same time. Anything, any 'scene' from this garbage is just completely utterly worthless; watching paint dry would be a more worthy use of 110 minutes since paint doesn't babble at you and at least lends itself to altering the reason why you are watching it in the first place.

In all seriously, use your 110 minutes elsewhere & thus benefit/impact your life in some way other than by simply wasting minutes and minutes of your life by watching this.

Absolute pretentious excrement.

Dragon Century (1985 Video)

One of the hidden gems of Anime...

[9/10 · 9 March 2004]

Dragon Century is one of the most decieving Animes ever made. Everything about it leads to the conclusion that it is yet another blood-drenched, anti-human endtimes Anime. e.g. - (Demon City Shinjuku)

From the Boxart, the description,everything points to such a work.

But yet, it isn't. And becuase it doesn't conform to any expectations one would expect of a stand alone 'Dragon' anime, it succeeds wonderfully. It does this through 3 ways.

1. The universe it creates is a believeable and almost allegorical one. The characters found therin are beleivably human and thus it works with the precision of a Swiss clock. So good, that it unbelievable and tragic that it is only a stand alone anime.

2. The artwork and anime itself. Simply incredible. Not at all the quality one would expect. No Akira here, but it definetly is worthy of standing next to Anime classics like Ghost in the Shell. And this from a stand alone Anime!

3. Humor. Since it is such a well-made universe the humor from the characters is made all the better. But yet, it isn't everywhere, and the Zen-like timing it has makes it all the more important.

You will remember "Booster Dragon!".

Overall, this is amazing gemstone of a Anime and worthy of the journey it will surley be to find it.

Super Hero (1979)

Bruce Le? Superhero? CRAP? YES!!!!

[1/10 · 15 August 2002]

Bruce Le looked like it might be another bad, but fun, Kung Fu flick. (That's why I bought it, because I'm a collector of them) However, it is not. Bruce Le (Not Bruce Lee) hardly appears at all, even though he is supposed to be the lead character! Even when he appears, one is struck by how hard he trys to immitate the real Bruce Lee. Some of the exact same outfits, yells, clenching of muscles, etc. The rest of the movie is as bad or worse. To credit the movie with dialogue seems like an insult. The action sequences stink bad, the usual fake sounds of fists, blows, kicks, etc seem even worse than normal.The stupidity of the characters is unbelievable. But the main problem is that the tone of the movie is wrong, and because of that it is Dreadfully Boring. The laughs that I get from crappy Kung Fu are very far in between, but one knows them if they watch. (Just wait for Peter Ze!) In short, if you pick it up, and want to see how bad it is, get some of your friends, some red bull and beer, and you just might be able to get some entertainment out of it...maybe...

The Delinquent (1973)

The Chinese version of Reefer Madness, without the laughs...

[7/10 · 14 August 2002]

Street Gangs of Hong Kong might be your typical Kung Fu Flick if it wasn't concerned with making a point. It has a point, and as such, deviates from the path a normal Kung Fu flick might of gone. It is indeed the Chinese Reefer Madness, except, it works. Unlike RM, where your laughs come a mile a minute, you would have to be very cold to find much of anything funny past the intro (Which by the end will make sense) Street Gangs gives us some great innovative camera work (Unusual for standard K.F.)a ordinary hero(?), some really moving orcheastral pieces, and a sense of the underside of Hong Kong. All together, it makes for one interesting trip to the Hong Kong of yesterday.

Underground (1995)

An ABSOLUTELY Brilliant Film...

[10/10 · 8 March 2002]

Underground is without a doubt, one of the very finest movies to emerge from Europe. After seeing Underground, one realizes that one has just witnessed cinema at one of it's highest levels. This movie is what "The Tin Drum" was supposed to be, and so much more. Absolutely Brilliant on all levels.

Man on the Roof (1976)

Cold Movie Leaves You Frozen and Mugged...

[1/10 · 23 February 2002]

Energizing? No. Good Tension/Resolution. NO. Good Storytelling? No.

So what's left that is redeeming? Only the icy cold way the film was shot. The film is a mystery film, the tension that sets itself up as one is fairly well done. However,after that the course the movie that the movie takes to resolve the who dunnit is VERY flat,boring, and overall cliche. It is very obvious to the viewer who the perpetrator is from very early on. And it is seems like a eternity of mind-numbing scenes for the hero to figure out who done it. And even the film's climax is very poorly done. The last ten minutes are very cliche and by the end one doesn't care about anybody. To add on top of this the last minute to 30 seconds is just plain STUPID. So to add it all up this is a bad film which looks good in style(The only reason I didn't give it a 3)but is ultimately shallow in everything else. Avoid it.