burninatable Reviews

Gen V (2023– )

Weird choice, but ok

[6/10 · 20 May 2024]

We're in a strange era of TV/streaming when something can be simultaneously R-rated and so clearly aimed at teenagers. Not YA - teenagers. Teenagers always watched horror movies, obviously, but I'm not sure I've ever seen anything so boldly acknowledging, embracing and steering into that before. Maybe American Horror Stories.

It uses that old trope of having college aged kids behave like highschoolers to tell teenage stories in a way that actual teenagers can look up to. Angst and drama abound. I'm surprised at the creators tbh, The Boys seemed quite self-aware about the use of tropes - this not so much.

That said it's alright. The acting isn't awful. It adds more world building to The Boys' universe and some extra context to what Vought is up to in the wider world. It's pretty consistent with The Boys in it's criticism of corporate, marketing, social media, propaganda etc. I'm not mad that I watched it once, but I probably won't bother again.

The Great North (2021– )

Gets better as it goes on

[7/10 · 17 May 2024]

Being a fan of Bob's Burgers, I gave this a try. It doesn't really compare. It's not really funny for starters, it's more just light-hearted family drama. My immediate reaction was not favourable tbh, I think my expectations were just too anchored in Bob to give it a fair shot in its own right.

I later decided to give it another chance, knowing in advance what I was getting into, and it's grown on me. I think so long as you're not expecting more BB it's decent.

The characters are all pretty likeable and they just get better / more developed as it goes on. The first couple of episodes focus quite heavily on Judy but it opens out into more of an ensemble pretty fast, definitely for the better imo. Most of the scenarios are in the sweet spot between wacky and grounded, like surreal but irl. I can get on board with it.

It's not groundbreaking at all, would never even suggest it, but I'm pretty sure that's intentional tbf. It has a vibe like it's trying to be safe / comforting / chill over anything else. I can totally see it being boring if you're not in the mood for it. If you are though, yeah it's nice. Not amazing but good enough. Unchallenging but in a relaxing way. I'm not complaining.

Private Practice (2007–2013)

"It's not about surgeries, it's about connecting. I told you this."

[6/10 · 17 April 2024]

First episode says it outright: "We do things differently here...It's not about surgeries, it's about connecting. I told you this." - Naomi to Addison.

Of course in the context of the show this is Naomi stressing to Addie that the latter knew what she was getting into when she moved to LA to work in an holistic private practice, i.e. The entire premise of the show. If she'd wanted to keep all the resources of a state of the art OR in a world class teaching hospital then she could have kept her old job in Seattle but she chose not to. This is what she wanted.

Nonetheless, it feels very directed at the viewer too. This is also what you're signing up for here. It's not so "dark and twisty." It's all gossip and no guts. The most graphic thing you're going to get is a C-section or two. Extremely mild. What's left is mostly pretty blue skies and interpersonal drama. It's not exciting and unpredictable like Grey's or S19 - it's more like a soap.

And that's fine if that's what you want. Fine. Not bad, not groundbreaking. Hence my solid 6. I'd hazard a guess that was exactly the audience it was looking for tbh - people turned off Grey's by the gore who still wanted a hospital drama. Negativity is likely coming from people who wanted more Grey's and didn't get it. They're different shows. Go in with this in mind. Throw it on in the background while you're doing something else. It sits very comfortably in this niche.

Only Murders in the Building (2021– )

Mixed bag

[7/10 · 16 February 2024]

This show is pretty good...but honestly it peaked in it's first season imo, which is a shame.

Season 1 was quite outlandish but in a controlled way. Like fireworks. Whoever decided putting coloured gunpowder in a pipe and setting it on fire - crazy. Whoever decided to shoot a bunch of them up in the air and make a display - genius. Season 1 is twisty and dramatic, a little bit hammy, a little bit cliché and very self aware. The acting is solid, the mystery is entertaining and engaging, the resolution is great fun. It just works.

Season 2 is...fine. That's not fair, it's actually pretty good too, but it's essentially a rehash of Season 1 so meh.

Season 3 sucks. It couldn't hold my attention at all. The dynamic changed far too much, far too dramatically. The situation doesn't work, the character balance is off and the chemistry is dead. I'm content to pretend in my own little head that it didn't exist and the show ended at the end of Season 2.

Grey's Anatomy: Can't Fight This Feeling (2013) Season 9, Episode 19

No

[1/10 · 8 February 2024]

This episode is appalling. I know the supermom narrative is popular (because of course it is, everyone likes complements) but it has no place in a medical setting, and I understand that this is just a drama but it still supports this poor behaviour irl. Being a mother might give you instincts but it does not give you a medical degree. It's absolutely valid to consult a professional when your alarms start going off but don't then go and scream at them and throw away their advice because it's not what you want to hear. They know more than you, no discussion. The resolution of this plotline makes it seem like doctors are wrong and mommies know best every time which is just an absolute nonsense and encourages more harm than good.

Grey's Anatomy: Sanctuary (2010) Season 6, Episode 23

I Am Very Edgy™

[10/10 · 5 February 2024]

I heard this episode was intense, but I am like a boss so it didn't phase me at all. Soaps are for girly girls and lame-o's but I generally give this show a pass because it also has lots of cutting and guts. I am Super Hardcore so I enjoy guts. I watch, like, all the horrors, so yah. I'm very cool. I'm rlly mad though cuz this episode wanted me to care about more things than the guts, like people and junk, ew. I could watch 90210 if that was what I wanted. I mostly just tune that stuff out and wait for the surgery scenes but this episode just would not let me. It was WAY too fixated on characters reactions and feeling their feelings to focus on enough of the action, and sorry that just does not hold my Very Important attention. How dare these lazy creators not cater to me personally, you know? That's just poor quality writing. More than that, how could an entire genre that does not exactly match my specific interests even be allowed to exist? What's even the point in that? So stupid.

Don't even start on how inaccurate the firearm stuff was. Like I said, I'm cool, too cool for soaps really, so that was what I noticed first. Maybe people who watch lots of soaps didn't notice, but I did because yeah. I mean, imagine being the kind of person who thinks that's not even the point of a show like this. Lol. Just so lame. Tragic.

Jk 10/10. Excellent all round.

My Wife and Kids: Calvin Comes to Stay (2004) Season 4, Episode 22

Beware: Mouth sounds

[1/10 · 28 January 2024]

You know how certain shows and movies have epilepsy warnings for strobe lighting etc? I dead seriously think there should be something similar for sounds for the neurodiverse and sensory processing disorders, including misophonia. People seriously underestimate what a significant impact these disorders can have, or worse act like they're a joke. Well they're not, they can be seriously painful and even debilitating.

This episode should have such a warning. There have been several instances throughout this whole show that have featured prominent mouth sounds and given me a nasty jolt to the brain, but this episode is especially bad. It's LOUD and continuous throughout. It reached a point where I wanted to punch through my own skull just to make it stop - I had to skip to the next episode about halfway through, I genuinely just could not take the sounds anymore. Do not watch if you are likewise afflicted.

American Horror Story: Something's Coming (2022) Season 11, Episode 1

Anthology series doing what they do

[10/10 · 27 January 2024]

There's clearly a split here on loving or hating this season, and I think it probably has to do with one thing: Coven. Bear with me here.

The series on the whole nosedived *hard* into YA with Coven. Like it or hate it, I'm not judging, but it did. Murder House had a little bit of it with Violet and Tate, but that was shared with key older characters as well, it was a true ensemble. Then you've got Asylum and Freak Show which both had significant historical plot points and more mature characters overall.

Then you have Coven. There are three regular older characters in Coven - one is corrupt, self centred, a hindrance to the youth and can only be redeemed by death and passing the torch (I wonder what that could be an analogue for), another is kept supernaturally youthful so almost doesn't count, and the last is an undead racist Disney villain. The protagonists are our cool girl witches and their slightly older big sis teacher who definitely aren't a cross between Harry Potter and Mean Girls at all, honest.

Coven was extremely popular, and unsurprisingly brought in a wave of younger viewers. It is also (as season 4 of...by the time of this episode 11 seasons) old enough to be considered "old" AHS to a lot of people.

AHS maintained that YA thing that came with Coven for a long time after Coven. It even did a direct sequel with Apocalypse. The cast kept getting younger and younger, the dialogue less mature, the stories leaning more towards young people's issues and overall seeming like the tone had made a permanent shift from the first two, maybe three seasons.

This then did an abrupt about turn, first with Red Tide (the first half of Double Feature), then with NY - this season. They're dark, they're moody, they're quiet, they're much more cerebral, and the aesthetic is more distressed artistic than polished designer. Red Tide very obviously "borrows" some vibes from Stephen King. NY's whole setting, story and characters are gritty, raw, sometimes devastating real things that people around in the 80s remember happening firsthand. Both these seasons bring about...I don't know if there's a word for something between triggering and "painful nostalgia," but that's what it is. Like a trauma that you can't stop revisiting. A pain that you've become so accustomed to that it feels comfortable even though you know it shouldn't. They are absolutely horror, they're just more slow burn, less Glee plus gore. They are not for the same audience as Coven.

This, I strongly believe, is why you've got a mixture of people here saying it's lost it's way and strayed from "old" AHS (by which they mean Coven onwards), and others calling it a return to form (by which they mean they are more understated and there are older characters and more mature/historical references again, as per S1-3).

Personally, I was very happy with this season. It was definitely melancholy but I challenge anyone to tell me with a straight face that Murder House wasn't. There's no "unlike old AHS" here. It's just a season that wasn't for everyone - just like all the others. The people making this complaint just happen to be experiencing this issue for the first time now instead of at season 4. It's an anthology series, it's to be expected. My best advice is to watch it and decide for yourself.

The Expendables (2010)

Dumb fun

[8/10 · 26 January 2024]

This is better than a lot of these reviews suggest tbh. It is what it is - a silly action movie. It dragged all the big 80s and 90s stars together and slapped on something like a plot as a stage for them to do their thing. That was the point and it achieved it just fine. Punches were thrown, things exploded, all was well.

I feel like a lot of the negativity *has* to be down to either people not getting their expectations in check or some kind of agenda based review bombing that I don't understand. It happens I guess, but it's still worth noting because this movie definitely deserves a better average rating than it has here. It's not Othello. It's big dudes with guns. What did you think you were getting going in?

Embrace the stupid fun or don't feel like you need to get involved. Not everything is for everyone and that's ok.

My Wife and Kids: Thru Thick and Thin (2001) Season 2, Episode 5

Ew

[1/10 · 26 January 2024]

When anyone asks why anyone who grew up in the 90s/00s came out with disordered eating and body image issues this should be held up as a PSA.

That whole time was relentless about coding bigger people as stupid, bad, gross, unworthy etc next to the good, smart, desirable skinny people but it wasn't usually as blatant about it as this. This consolidates that whole hostile landscape and puts it into 20 minutes of pure overt, unadulterated contempt.

When you've spent 20 years trying to deprogram from this way of thinking and then come across it again...idk, it's almost vindicating in a way, like in a "I knew I wasn't crazy, it really was everyone else" kinda way. That's the only redeeming thing I can say about this episode and it's hardly glowing praise.

Whole thing is better off forgotten.

Once Upon a Time (2011–2018)

Trails off in quality

[7/10 · 15 December 2023]

I really liked the first season. I would honestly recommend it to anyone; I really didn't think I'd like it but finally caved after years of various algorithms telling me I should haha. I feared something very cutesy, sanitised fairy tales and John Hughes "romance" for tweens. It's not that. It's a genuinely original twist on these stories, and pretty well written albeit in an obviously YA-friendly kinda way.

Unfortunately it was not able to sustain this. The quality started to drop right from the end of Season 1 (which was more or less a self-contained story). 2 & 3 were still enjoyable enough, but after that I just felt myself consistently drifting, unable to focus. It became extremely repetitive and predictable with uninspired dialogue and even the cast seemed bored at times. I'm not one to abandon a show once I've started watching, but I just couldn't keep going with this one. It's a shame as i would've considered myself a convert to it based off the first few seasons alone. It just went on waaay too long.

Hollyoaks (1995– )

Lower your expectations

[6/10 · 14 December 2023]

Some of these reviews are too harsh. They've forgotten to account that you should review something relative to what it is - not against all media ever - e.g. If I was reviewing a romcom or a kids movie I would not be grading them on the same scale as the adaptation of a quality science fiction novel or a Hollywood epic. They would not compare. Trying to do so would be ridiculous. That does not mean that the romcom or kids movie was "bad," just that the criteria for quality was completely different.

That's where I circle back to Hollyoaks. Getting upset about simplistic writing or casting models instead of actors is pointless. Hollyoaks is and always has been indulgent, gossipy, trashy drama and eye candy aimed at teens and young adults. This is reflected in the storylines, the writing and the casting. I don't know if they still sell the smutty calendars like they used to, but the fact they ever did should give you an idea of what to expect. It's not War and Peace. It is what it is.

It's a niche show and shouldn't be expected to be to everyone's tastes, but if you *are* into this kind of guilty pleasure it's actually alright. It's even had a few storylines over the years that have tackled some pretty heavy personal and/or social issues in an accessible but thoughtful and respectful way. It's had other arcs that have been absolute stinkers, but that's just the nature of long running soaps I guess. After watching it on and off for over 20 years I can honestly rate it fair to decent, based on reliability, average quality, casting, and commitment to its vision/target audience.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

Sorely underrated

[9/10 · 8 November 2023]

The rating on here for this movie is devastatingly unfair. A lot of the more negative entries dragging down the average seem to boil down to "I don't like Mel Brooks, I know I don't like Mel Brooks, I chose to watch a Mel Brooks movie anyway just so that I could complain about it."

You *know* you're getting unadulterated stupidity from Mel Brooks, that's the point. It's funny if you loosen up a bit, but you certainly shouldn't be expecting a sensitive high brow cinema experience. You don't leave a negative review for a car because it isn't a very good aeroplane. Don't leave a negative review for a Mel Brooks parody movie because it's not Gone With the Wind.

For what it is this movie is near perfect. It isn't all that edgy compared to some of his other offerings. It was clearly intended as a family film and relies quite heavily on winks, nods and double entendre to get around that, but it does it very well. The cast are all excellent and appear to have really had fun with the roles (and if they didn't then they did an even better job than I thought). I don't really know what else you can ask of a film like this tbh. Dare to be silly.