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The Marvels (2023)
The most boring Marvel movie of all time
This movie features the most bland and uninteresting hero of all time. There is nothing to her character and the deadpan emotion of Brie Larson doesn't help the movie at all. Its just an overall snooze fest. Even looking for something to pass the time there are things more interesting than this movie like watching paint dry, seeing how fast grass can actually grow.
The plot is nonsensical when you have someone that should know... do NOT TOUCH something actually touches it and the other person should know better and touches and now those two and a third are all entangled with their powers and now they need to learn how to work together to defeat the bad woman who is bad because she wants to save her planet that was destroyed by the "hero."
Do yourself a favor... watch anything else.
Infinity Pool (2023)
High Schoolers as adults
That is essentially what the movie is. It is a bunch of adults that act like spoiled rich high schoolers in a foreign country. They do what they want and act however immature or stupid they want and then they just throw money at the problem and poof... everything is fixed. And there is the problem right there. That's pretty much the story plus with each group of rich high schoolers there comes the new kid that gets "initiated" and has to do stuff to be considered "cool" for the cool kids and join in their crew.
But the thing is the movie starts off interesting. The concept of the movie actually was interesting but the execution was so bad. It was so poor. It was so stupidly done that it was a waste of time. This would have been the second movie I would have walked out of ever. Save the time. Save the money. Watch literally anything else. I have no idea how this movie got a favorable rating. Its not worth it. At all.
The Menu (2022)
Missing Key Ingredients
The Menu is a unique story in itself which is good but that is where it ends. It just lacks in those certain things that makes a movie not only good but something that you would want to watch again. Instead this movie provides the bare minimum on all fronts and it is because of that it just isn't worth it. Its like you see a tasty plate in front of you but you have no idea what is in it but it looks good. But after you try it you're like... yeah no not again. Not ever again. This is that movie.
On the outside it looks like it will be something worth watching. It will be something worth rewatching and something that you might even want to invite others to try. But then after you try it for yourself you are disappointed in the overall blandness of the story, the blandness of all the characters involved and their lack of wanting to really do anything. Its like they would much rather sit through everything and just collect.
If you're looking for something to pass the time then this is the one to do it. If you're looking for an actual good time... send this one back to the chef and demand a refund.
The Invitation (2022)
The most cliched movie to ever be cliched
It was a cliche from beginning to end. The movie should have been renamed The Cliche. You knew from the very beginning what was going to happen. But then you see how dumb the main character actually is and overly naive. And then after that you know what's going to happen at the end and who is going to survive.
There is nothing about it that is remotely interesting. Nothing about it remotely creative. Nothing about it that says... hey lets watch this movie again. Instead is a movie that exists for the sake of existing. Wasting time watching paint dry while seeing how much grass grows in an hour would be more interesting than this movie.
Do yourself a favor... skip it. You may be tempted to walk out due to boredom.
Dual (2022)
To Dual or ...
I went to the movie with little to no expectation as I had no idea of the movie's existence until yesterday and thought it would be a good movie to pass the time. I watched it and initially it started interesting. It kept me intrigued and I was like well this is going to be something to watch. Towards the end it was like welll not sure what to think about this. The ending just left unanswered questions and that does take points off because I doubt there will be a sequel to this so to leave so many unanswered questions just takes away from the overall enjoyment. It is definitely watchable but not one that you'll be looking to again.
Malignant (2021)
Hallmark on an inflated budget
This movie is the equivalent of what a Hallmark movie would be. It had every cheesy moment. The bad acting. The very predictable stuff. And then when you see the twist its like... are you serious? And then the extremely cheesy ending. Be sure to avoid being constipated by all the cheese. The saving grace is the over abundance of violence towards the end. Like Friday the 13th meets Nightmare on Elm Street amount of violence. Definitely worth a pass.
Candyman (2021)
Don't say his name.
Do not say his name that way you don't have to see this crap. The original was so much better. Told a better story. This one was rushed, slapped together with scotch tape, and then put the name Candyman on it to sell it. It did its purpose in selling but it could have been so much better. The killings in it were lackluster in that over half of them you didn't see and for an R rated movie that was very surprising. Why would you give the movie an R rating when half of the killings aren't even shown. And the story of this Candyman was lackluster. It was a good tie in from the first one but that was it. You might as well call this movie Bee Man to be honest. And the ending of the movie was so lackluster you could hear the air come out of the theater as they were so disappointed. Anticlimatic is putting it lightly when it comes to the ending. Its almost a regret seeing this movie. You could see what they were trying to do with some of the things in it but it felt like a political stance at first, racial stance, and then oh yea we have a movie about an iconic character so let's shoehorn him into this.
Bee Man should be skipped. Watch the original. You'll be glad.
F9 (2021)
F9 gets an F for the series
The movie is terrible. Its nothing like any of the previous Fast and Furious movies... at all. Even if it was a standalone it would suck. Dominic is a straight I don't even know anymore. He's not human. He's superman. Its like he became Super Hobbs. Superman without the special abilities but definitely invincible, can't die, nothing can happen to this guy. So its like why would you care if he gets in a wreck? If he has to fight 50 soldiers, if a building collapses underneath him? You know he's going to wind up walking away from it without even a scratch. I mean even just a scratch would be like whoa... he can get hurt. And that's not even mentioning the fact... they went in space. They go to space. A car is driving in space because some guys are now rocket scientists... and "numbers don't lie." Its a ridiculous entry. And that's not even touching on the super heavy duty magnets INSIDE the car but doesn't effect the car that it is inside but instead effects cars at certain times, or cell phones, or light posts or a big ... tank thing? I don't know.
Point is if this seems confusing... welcome to F9 The Fast Saga. If anything this will come off more coherent and make more sense than the movie. And also how can the guy that is all about family never once mention his brother until now? That's just messed up. Nothing about this movie is worth a thing. Skip this one.
The Unholy (2021)
The Unwatchable
This movie was such a slow moving snail that I walked out before it ended. First time ever I walked out on a movie and I've seen some bad movies but this one was so full of religious clichés and horror clichés it was like some high schooler looked at a "how to write a horror religious movie" and just did it word for word. I mean the big character is supposed to bet he girl that is supposed to be deaf and mute but within five minutes of the movie she is already talking so you can't even get invested in her. Then she just talks so much. Then you have the main guy that was supposed to be disgraced for writing some fake story that you never find out what its about and now he's this hot shot. I don't know maybe something happened at the end.
I mean there is nothing about the characters that make you want to root for them, see them succeed, see them do anything. And the jump scares are all there. Every single one. I did rate it 2 stars though because there was one jump that made me jump. So there is at least that but other than that you'd be better off skipping this for anything else. I had low expectations but it even fell way below those expectations. If you need a reason to sleep then this might be good enough but other than that... no.
Honest Thief (2020)
Its a Liam Neeson movie
If you've seen one of his movies then you've seen them all and this one falls right into that same tired plot that is in EVERY one of his movies. There really isn't anything to add to it. It follows the same thing all his other movies do. Pretty decent action, drab story, and predictable actions. Predictable dialogue. Very predictable movie.
The New Mutants (2020)
New? New script please.
The New Mutants I will say firstly focused on the wrong person. The person they did choose to focus on was stale, boring, bland, and just will put you to sleep. But that is part of her powers. Pretty much you'll figure out her powers in the first half hour or so even though its supposed to be some big reveal. It will fall completely flat. This movie is something that should not ever be included in the series. Its an abomination. It was a waste of time. Thinking about it now just about puts me to sleep. If you need sleep then check it out. If you don't... skip this snoozefest.
Come Play (2020)
Expectations were exceeded. Needed that friend.
I went into this movie with low expectations. I walked out enjoying it and wouldn't mind watching it again. The story is rather predictable at points but the story is still pretty fun. I will say if you go in with expectations you could be disappointed but if you go in not expecting anything you can be entertained. Just sit back, relax, have some popcorn and enjoy.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Its a wonder how boring it was
Two hours I won't be getting back. The story is so bland it makes white bread look interesting. And it doesn't help that the actress playing Wonder Woman can't emote and is average at best. The story drags on and on and the action is minimal at best. Some of the scenes are cringeworthy like this is 2020 and it looks like it was shot in the 1990s behind a green screen using Windows 98. It rivals Tom Cruise riding down the "storm" bad. If you're bored... skip it. If you have anything to do? Skip it. If you're very very bored? Skip it. The drive to the theater will be more exciting than this movie. Flipping through HBO Max to find this movie will bring more entertainment than actually watching it. I saw a free screening and still felt wasted.
The Invisible Man (2020)
The Invisible Plot
When you first watch the movie you're thinking okay this is pretty good. Interesting. Starts slow but it builds up and the ending is nice. She gets away with killing the abusive ex boyfriend and lives happily ever after.
But after thinking about things for a minute you realize... other than her saying it you don't see any real indication that he did much to her. You are pretty much taking her word for everything. And then when it comes to the boyfriend... what is it about him? You see yeah he can be manipulative but you barely see that. But then you see the main thing the movie is about... the invisible suit and what are they really made for? Who were they made for and how many of those suits did he really have?
Then on top of that when you're learning about the boyfriend you learn that he is supposed to be on top of everything. Very observant . And knows what is going on in his place. And especially when it comes to those suits he would know how many he has and what's going on with them. YET when she hides one of those suits that doesn't register in his mind. Like she took the suit off of the dummy, didn't replace it on the dummy in the place... and in fact was attacked moments later. So it should've been known that the suit was missing AND that it would be in the closet or somewhere leading towards the closet since that where she went and yet... nothing.
Then there is the scene where her sister gets her throat cut in the middle of a fancy restaurant. And the thing about any eating establishment... there are cameras everywhere. The fancier it is the more cameras there would be. So how is it that they were so sure she killed her sister and didn't spend a single second looking at any of the video footage? Because if they would have spent any time they would have seen a floating knife to notice... something isn't right. But nope somehow all of that was ignored and she was just immediately guilty.
And there was the when the daughter got hit while the main girl was down on the ground. Like she's starting to get back up to her feet and is a little distance away. The daughter gets hit and doesn't register that there is no way she could have hit me. Something had to have hit me. Nope. Like if you're on your hands and knees there is no way you're generating enough force to knock someone to the ground and that didn't register with the girl.
But yeah its like if you watch the movie and remove your mind from it then its pretty good. But if you start thinking about it you notice things that should've been thought through differently and at least fleshed out a lot more. So that's why the rating went from a near 8 down to a 4. Its just not as good as initially and originally thought.
Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (2020)
Birds of a Feather does stuff
The movie starts here then goes there then back here then goes there then back to there before going over there then back to here. After that its okay. The rating was unnecessary because other than some curse words and a little violence it was just an average movie. Very average. If you're bored and have nothing to do then check around and make sure you absolutely have nothing to do and then if its still nothing then it'll be okay to spend that hour and 46 minutes. It'll pass the time. You'll get a couple of chuckles but not seeing it you miss absolutely nothing.
Pure time passer.
The Grudge (2019)
The Revenge of The Grudge of The Flashback begrudgingly
This movie was something else. If you saw The Grudge movies from the early 2000s or whenever they one this one surpassed those but that's about as good as it gets. If you compare it to anything else then well... you'll be better off watching the other movies. It had the typical jump scares. It also had a ton of flashbacks. Like you jump from 2004 to 2006 to 2005 back to 06. I was getting confused which year I was in then you see the cars they are driving and you're like... this can't be the right year. So if you're looking to watch something to pass the time then by all means... watch something else. If you're just bored and have nothing to do and time to blow then maybe catch this. But if you miss this movie you haven't missed anything.
Knives Out (2019)
Knives in, Knives out, sit in, and enjoy
I went into the theater not sure what to expect. It looked interesting. I was thinking maybe something like Clue. It wasn't like Clue. But it was definitely something that keeps your interest, peaks it, and gets you guessing and when you think you have it you don't. You pay attention and you hear something and you're wondering if this is where it connects or where does it all connect... Fill your donut hole.
Joker (2019)
Joker delivered
Origin stories vary from either good to very bad and should be burned in fire. This one delivered on all fronts. It showed the progression that he went through from where he was to what he would become. It touched on his childhood and how that helped shape who he would be. Everything connected. It clicked as it should. It told a gritty and dark story. There were moments you're thinking why is this happening... just give it a couple of minutes and that reason is told. This Joker is one you want to watch. You almost want to root for him but then you remember he is the bad guy so while you don't root for him you understand him a lot better. Take a couple hours out of your day and enjoy this one. May even enjoy it a second time.
It Chapter Two (2019)
It Came, It sought, It fought, and It is ok
The movie is long. Be prepared to get comfortable for the nearly 3 hour movie but despite the long run time it was pretty good. It draws quite a few bit of shots from the first movie. Its almost like a movie and a half in one.
I will say as far as horror movies go this one ranks at the top this year. You have some typical horror scares but you also have some that are out of the blue. Some that are rather creepy and that helps give it its own feel. Its not the typical music shrieks and then music pause before scare kind of horror so if you want a couple of decent scares then this is one to catch.
BUT then the problem comes. A movie has three phases. The beginning, the middle, and the end. Beginning and middle were pretty good. The ending... where they defeat It is so weak it hurts the movie. How do you stop a murderous, demented, psychotic, supernatural clown? You call him names. That's it. You call him names and that makes him so weak that he shrivels up into almost nothing. That ending truly hurt the movie and the irony is that in the movie one of the characters is a movie screen writer and that's one of the main criticisms of his writing is he is good but his endings aren't. This movie ended with a wet fart.
So its enjoyable but the ending you'll wish you can skip. Might still be worth watching.
Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
Annabelle Crawls Home
Annabelle Comes Home was so slow. Snails move at a faster pace than this movie. It has the typical jump scares, music cues to lead you to the jump scares, and the typical dumb moves made in every horror movie. Plus they seem to love to walk right by light switches in the pitch dark while searching for a flashlight. Like the switch is right next to them and they don't try it. The flashlight goes out and its dark and no switches are even flipped . The story itself is Annabelle gets let out of her case by the typical curious teen wondering around. And what didn't make sense there was she grabs the keys and somehow all those keys on the keychain she picks the right key on the first try every time. But that's just nit picking.
The movie if it was shorter or had a faster pace could have been better or at least smarter characters. None of the characters have any sort of redeeming qualities that make you want to root for them. You're just really watching for the scares and that's it. There isn't anything to keep you invested. And nothing that makes you say if they made another you would want to see it. Annabelle has been done to death and this adds nothing that isn't already known and understood about Annabelle. Its time to leave Annabelle at home and let her stay home for good.
Crawl (2019)
Poor Jaws reboot
Its Jaws but modernized and more alligators. Other than that its absolutely nothing special at all. It hits the typical spots. Character has specific skill unique for the movie, they excel at said skill. There is issues within the family. The parents are separated. Its very average with a happy ending where they are able to escape in the end and be safe.
Its a movie that you would watch once but beyond that there would be little to no interest because there is nothing redeeming about it. The gators are okay. They bite a few people. The dad gets the worst of it so you do get some graphic visuals. Which actually is the best part of the movie. Other than that you'll question moves made during the movie. But it wouldn't be a "horror" movie without questionably dumb things being done.
You have time to pass with nothing to do it'll be okay. If you're looking for a good time then this will not be the one to see.
Doragon Bôru Sûpâ Burorî (2018)
Broly is back and he actually makes sense
Broly has returned and this movie delivers on all fronts. It has the humor that you would expect from the series. Goku has his moments when he shows he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. The story is actually engaging and the fight sequence is amazing.
In the first Broly movie that turned into a trilogy it was said that Broly didn't like Kakarot because as a baby he was crying. That was the extent and it made Broly look like a mindless brute. This time he has a real story that makes sense. A story, a background that is actually pretty sad. And it went in a bit more depth about Goku's history and even Vegeta.
The animation is gorgeous. Especially during the fight. It will keep you on the edge of your seat as you're wondering how each are going to overcome what's going to happen next. Frieza is just a classic villain. Just funny. Feels natural.
I will say the movie isn't perfect because it isn't... but it is as good as any other animated movie I've seen in years. And this movie definitely tops all Dragon Ball movies made. Definitely worth the watch.
White Boy Rick (2018)
Ricklantis Mishap
The movie isn't bad. It isn't mouth dropping awesome but it is highly intriguing. Its a movie that starts off a little slow but the speed starts to pick up and it stays steady. Its not the most ideal story but its one that when you watch it you start to question why things happen the way they do. Why pick from the lower level families but then that's typical. The trailer tells enough of the story that you get the gist of it.
The FBI essentially picks up and recruits the kid that turns to be the youngest informant. They get what they need and then done. But then it is Detroit back then and it hasn't been painted in a nice picture. Now is it worth watching a second time? That's most likely a no unless you have nothing else to do. Its good for that first viewing but beyond that you'll be better off spending your money on something else.
Unfriended: Dark Web (2018)
Better than the first. Friend the movie
While it holds the same sort of premise as the first with the whole computer screen view it is not like the first movie. The first one kind of sucked with all the super natural stuff going on in it. This one was more grounded in realism which helps it a lot and distinguishes it from the first one.
Don't expect a magical experience that you'll walk away from thinking you have to see this again but you can expect to go away from it with a thought that this movie was not that bad at all. Kind of interesting and it might be worth watching a second time just to try to catch any minor small details you might have missed watching it the first time. Ir sort of creates that affirmation that the dark web is rather dark and not something to tread lightly in.
So if you're looking for a movie that's not exactly horror but more thriller with some dark overtones and can spare about an hour and a half then this is the one to catch.