Can't seem to make up its mind whether it is a comedy or an action flick and fails at either. Sad to say the cliches are the best part of this trainwreck. The rest is comic book and gratuitous. Drive like a f&f, dress like porn star and shoot up streets and hotels like in a peckinpah or tarantino fest(but those are generally good). No cops anywhere to spoil the fun, with them wondering what all the fuss is about. Yep, that's how secret agents stay under the radar. Got a hernia trying to suspend my disbelief. Was costner having trouble making his alimony payments? He is so much better than this excrement. Oh well, at least i didn't have to pay to watch this. So, if you're really, REALLY bored and this is the only thing you can find, then ok, otherwise find a more entertaining test pattern or color bars. At least that won't insult your intelligence.
Reviews
23 Reviews
Twilight's Last Gleaming
(1977)
did they use girl scouts as tech advisors?
28 April 2024
Apologies to girl scouts. Exceptional cast handicapped by a very anemic plot. It is not so much dated as it is wrong. Many foolish and ignorant errors in plot as to silo processes, military prisons, military tactics, protocol and language. Obese airmen? The snipers woould have been drawn fron the marine corps or the army and would not have been sung m16s. That has never been a designated sniper weapon. Like it was written and directed as a high school melodrama over a weekend without even having a beer with the rotc students. No research, juvenile, cardboard characters with conflicts between the escapees that should have been resolved long before the breakout. Armored vehicles driving thru forest over trees (why? Except for the ooo, ah) when they can and do make their final approach by road? They let men abandon their vehicles when a tactical nuke is about to be detonated? With the silo doors open. A cuppluh granades would disable the missles. The nuke has a bubble level antitip detonator? Transported in a helicopter? Golly. Those would never tip. Sheesh. Take a cuppluh aspirin and that might mitigate the writers' fever delerium. Any high school rotc class in the day knew better.
by far the worst of the series
11 April 2024
Well so far that is, as i have read the worst episode is yet to come. It is contrived, poorly executed, characters behaving completely out of established character. The only shining light is captain fredrickson who sharpe uncharacteristically mistreats. Such a disappointment. Worth viewing if only to be done with this series. The dilemma is unbelievible. In inquiry process horrid, has no one ever heard of timelines? Sharpe's motive is based on a letter he cannot have received as it was intercepted and used as evidence the only suspense is how long can this go on. Many characters act contrary to their arc jane turns into an immature, weak-willed air head. Sorry, no, she is not become an air head. She has become a selfish tart. And lazy deus ex machina plot that wanders into trouble and out doesn't help this piece d easliy resisted merde. Coincidence should ask for a raise or at least overtime. Fredrickson even calvet and gaston outshown the rest of the usually reliable ensemble. The combat choreography was amaterish even ludicrous. March barely a platoon against a fortified position on the high ground massed like it was a regiment? Why sharpe did not simply shoot ducos when then men behind were later shown to be in accurate rifle shot? Even sharpe turns into a dislikable unable-to-keep-it-in-his-pants breaker-of-the-bro-code churl. Difficult to believe it was the same director hardly made it thru. Not sure it was worth it. Shame. Otherwise a purdy good series. Guess this is what comes of binge watching. It makes such poorly motivated character departures more visible. The deeper i get into this episode the higher my gorge rises. Who wrote this shite? The climax, if you can call it that, is equally contrived. While corwell's plots are on the whole simple and formulaic, they are at least entertaining. This is a fail, this is beneath even him.
Once Upon a Time in Venice
(2017)
terrible movie, tho hardly bruce' fault
3 April 2024
With so many name stars i expected better. Thought the fault can hardly be laid on bruce. He was well into his mental decline. His aphasia and frontotemporal dementia were already solidifying their grip on his brain and his skills and presence vanishing. He was literally disappearing before our eyes. I only hiope he has a kind and loving support network as he fades. In his prime he was a solid presence and produced a lot of solid entertainment and he continued to work as he faded, long after he should have retired. Perhaps he needed the money. But it was tragic that many were not aware of this and have critically savaged him. It is sad when the very essence of will and thought are lost and we are, by circumstance, forced to go more gently into that good night than we would have otherwise wished. God bless you bruce and ease you peacefully and gently home.
You Can't Win 'Em All
(1970)
so bad
4 November 2023
This movie cant seem to decide where it's going. Maybe that's the point(less). It meanders from opening to closing credits with really telling much of a story. Fitting in that meader come from the turkish river, menderes. Gratuitous, stereotypes abound. Ottoman decadence complete with a despotic provincial governor who when handed a thompson for the first time, proceeds to gleefully shoot up his own palace, destoying much of his own artwork. Curtis and bronsob must cringe even after death when this movie is mentioned or viewed. Worth watching only for the location. Some of the shots are magnificent. The only redeemin feature of this flick. Parts of turkey seldom seen or risked by tourists today.
Space Command
(2020– )
i wanted to like this
5 September 2023
I really did. It had several of my favorite actors from babylon 5 and robert picardo from stargate. I was glad to see them back as a group. They had worked so well together in the past. I really wanted to like this. I failed. The acting was wooden or overly melodramatic. How can it be both? Somehow they managed. Special effects outta the 60s. Many shots were visibly poorly blue-screened. And ethan macdowell as the wunderkind youngest captain in the fleet. He shore is a purdy boy. And his uniform(costume) with the pecs and sixpack? Sheeeesh. But looks can only carry a show so far, and in his case that is not far at all. Stereotropes galore.
Two words: not good. Make that three words: painfully not good. Avoid.
Two words: not good. Make that three words: painfully not good. Avoid.
bullies, not cops
5 June 2022
Outer Range
(2022– )
longmire meets dark
25 April 2022
And both lose. Preeminent descriptor, SLOW, but cowboys are spozed to be laconic, eh? I got a hernia trying to suspend my disbelief. I have to believe it is striving for some sort of slow reveal mystical/mythical quality and all it achieves is leaden confusion. To succeed in the slow reveal, it needs to engender in the viewer a desire to continue, by creating some suspense. Fail. Too bad. Brolin is better than this.
Murder by the Lake
(2014– )
multiple episode review
3 December 2021
Warning: Spoilers
As it unfolds, he is a jerk to his family and she is verging on autistic. (no offense to the truly special) The only thing to be thankful for, it's not tourettes. Howver maybe even a few ticks might make her stoneface easier to watch. How she got thru the police academy beggars belief, much less progressed to inspector. Have the same question about nico in soko stuttgart. Also, they dont seem to care about inter episode continuity; different personal vehicles, van, motorradl, even the sailboat her parents are supposed to have had their accident on. First a dinghy then a bost with a pedastal wheel. When ya dont care about the small stuff . . . .
Madam Secretary
(2014–2019)
started as a 9 or 10
5 June 2020
This was my covid19 binge show. it was engaging, funny, sometimes even syrupy sweet. the politics were center moderate which allowed it to engage both sides with equal (dis)regard. but lementably after a while, season 4 and more offputtlingly so in season 5, it veered to the left. i see the writer and directorial stable has changed from some very well regarded stars in their own right, to a bevey of, at last to me, unknowns. it has become tirelessly and unabashedly preachy. instead of enjoying it as proviously, i find my self honestly turned off. and i have done just that turned it off
Neben der Spur
(2014– )
i'm sorry, dr joe
24 May 2020
But either you hae been more traumatized and damaged by events or maybe just suffer selective memory loss. doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome? how long have been working with the police to have so little of crime scene protocol to have breached your mind and establish residence? but then again, if you didn't repeatedly make these rookie mistakes, the show would only be 30min.
gratuitous language
13 May 2020
I had used this show in my high school german class for its lighthearted, easy to follow german, delightfully leavened with the more flowery and complicated structure of hauptkommissar gruen's speech. a former delight. however, in this episode the language was blisteringly and embarrassingly vile, guess i'm done here. schade.
good stuff
11 November 2018
But these yayhoo writers continue to get the legal stuff really wrong and that is particularly jarring and disappointing when all the rest is soooo good. pay attention ms lawyer lady cady, in a civil suit, there is no such thing as a 'prosecuting attorney'; there is however an attorney for the plaintiff.
the writers should be sued
11 November 2018
That way they might gain the meagerest insight into how depositions and trials are conducted. it is agonizing to watch how the lawyer characters in legal settings are forced to behave either as silent, mindless incompetent idiots or unchecked bombastic buffoons. anyone who has watched a few episodes of law and order could do a far better job. and to think people were paid to spew this into a script.
Robin Hood
(1984–1986)
ok it's from 1985
1 July 2018
But people could act 30yrs ago. people could write music 30yrs ago, people could direct 30yrs ago and people could write 30yrs ago. pity none of those people were hoodwinked into being involved in this abysmal failure. gad, where do i begin? the soundtrack is tediously repetitive, the acting worse than the high school freshman one act, the cinematography poorly reminiscent of someone's first foray into super8. the editing, scissor and tape. the characters were monotonically, one dimensional. how could anyone not blinded by childhood memories of this give this more than a 4? the version with richard greene 30yrs prior stands hood and yoke above this paltry effort. the only redeeming quality was that it was actually shot in english old forest. nonetheless it actually hurt to watch. i made it to season 2 in the unrequited hope it might improve, stay away! stay far away. ok, it was included on my amazon, but i would still like my money back!
Who wrote this?
5 June 2018
Warning: Spoilers
I am a fan of this series and have uniformly been impressed with the writing. but I dont know whether to laugh, cry or be insulted. this characterization, no, cartoon caricature of a ranger is so far from the truth as to be reckless. as rangers we are taught to endure, but this character is wound so tight she might spontaneously combust. would have had as much chance of getting thru ranger school as tom cruise' maverick in top gun of getting thru flight school. you want to see a more accurate portrayal of rangers, watch 'the unit'. finally, the beat down she administered to her rapist ex-fiance would have gotten her booted out whether or not the da brought charges; it is still conduct unbecoming. maybe a technical advisor next time?
Iron Fist
(2017–2018)
the bad guys have machine guns
2 July 2017
spoiler alert. never fails. the bad guys have machine guns. and the unarmed but martial-arts-trained good guys still go in. seems they haven't figured it out yet. just snap a couple of pictures. call 911 and email the pix to the cops. sit back and watch the show. ny's finest(?) will be there in minutes. heck, can't even open carry a bb gun in ny without swat showing up. am all for willful suspension of disbelief, but in how much of the good guys' stupidity must belief be suspended?
main plot point inaccurate
27 December 2010
unfortunately this episode displays obsolete divorce nomenclature as a significant plot point. in a California divorce there is no longer a plaintiff and a defendant. there is a petitioner and a respondent. thinking these yokels would be personally if not intimately familiar with that. it makes for good copy but is inaccurate and antiquated. you may ask why i keep belaboring this point. well it is because of some absurd 10 line review minimum. the terminology in divorce actions was changed just to avoid the sort of prejudicial perceptions and comments that are used as a device in this episode. cheap reach into cold history is a poor method to contrive a plot device.
MegaFault
(2009 TV Movie)
worse than usual scifi channel fare
10 October 2009
megafaults! two hours i will never get back, on the upside, i cleaned the toilette. three otherwise very creditable actors failed to lift this out of the bowl. wrong uniforms, fema director? wrong vehicles, wrong terrain, when did west virginia start looking so much like montana, or was there only one mining location to film the opening and closing sequences? earthquake on the move? coming to a gas main near you. cars shake and alarms go off but no person react to the shaking. more holes in this plot than the premise left in the crust. a giant crack in the crust visible from orbit. would that it had swallowed all the copies of this stinker. should have hit the starbucks where this was pitched first. gad.
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