markmcfadyen Reviews

Personal Shopper (2016)

Truly awful

[4/10 · 19 April 2017]

We saw this last week and after an hour or so people began to leave. As the titles came up at the end, the woman behind me shouted For f%$£ sake.

The basis of the story is weak and revolves entirely around KS seeking a sign from her recently departed brother that there was an afterlife. He was a medium, she is a medium and their near the end friend we find out is a medium. All mediums together. Who here doesn't know at least 3 mediums? There is an attempt to add a story to this drab concoction involving the theft of jewels with starts and finished with quick predictability and seems to have been added to alter the mind numbing acting of KS and her shopping/buying scenes.

The end must rank as the worst endings leading from a dull storyline to the Far East (yawn!) 90 minutes I'll never get back

The Green Inferno (2013)

Truly Awful

[3/10 · 17 October 2015]

I'm aware that this movie had a number of release issues, but having watched it I'm guessing it was a ploy to built interest in an otherwise dire move.

It's been a strange week as I watched Knock Knock which although not as bad as this tripe, it certainly has the same incredibly bad acting, production & implausible story parts which combined make them difficult to persevere with for 90+ minutes.

There was a time when you looked out for Eli Roth movies, however his recent stuff has made me check to see if he died & his electrician son has taken over & tried his hand at directing.

It is truly awful from start to finish. Watch Apocalypto instead. In fact, watch anything instead.

Under the Skin (I) (2013)

If Tracey Emin made movies.....

[17 March 2014]

Then this would be it.

Incoherent garbage trying to pass itself off as style.

Under the skin is like watching a 90 minute advert for perfume. 'He is the wind, she is the sea, her heart is ice, I am drowning' blah blah blah! How this has an IMDb score of 7.2 at the time of writing is even more baffling than the movie itself.

The entire movie consists of broken shots taken in a van, outside a van, a field, a man, a woman,the moon, the sea, a street and very little happening in between. There is no depth of character, no explanation of why she is there, who she is and no details on the mysterious guy on a motorbike who appears to follow her about.

Save yourself the money and go to a modern art exhibition instead.

The Conjuring (2013)

Truly Awful

[3/10 · 3 August 2013]

Good to see the PR Machine in full throttle for this one. First 5 or 6 reviews read like The Exorcist, then check the next lot! You know, the people who actually watched this garbage.

This is a film with absolutely no redeeming features. Think of a Curtis Stigers song, you know Captain Cliché, and you have The Conjuring. I defy anyone to tell me one original scene. We had the standard stare in mirror, doors which slammed shut, weird sounds on the tape, levitation, the old wardrobe, cellar only to be visited at night and finally the thunder and lightening. The last bit was when a dozen or so people walked out the cinema.

I am waiting for the Directors cut when, at midnight, the couple whose children are in danger and still stay in the house, go to the cellar open the cupboard in the kitchen and a cat jumps out! Awful Hollywood textbook garbage. But job done, I read the reviews and spent £20 I'll never get back.

Killing Season (2013)

Truly awful

[3/10 · 13 July 2013]

This could have been so much better. As the old saying goes it started off crap and then fell away to f*"*.

Good first 20 minutes which showed true promise, then Hollywood kicked in!

I'm struggling to find some positives, apart from Robert DE Niro's in it. Travolta I though was good, unfortunately this seems to be a take the money and run move.

I don't want to give too much away as hopefully you'll avoid it and I'm just writing any old crap to achieve the minimum 10 lines for IMDb.

Best avoided.

The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)

awful, just awful

[1/10 · 12 April 2009]

This ranks amongst the worst movies I've watched and believe me, I've seen a few.

Nothing original and a scrambled mess of a movie which relies on the usual cat jumping out of the cupboard type scares. I only gave the movie 1 coz I like Virginia Madsden and at least she got paid for starring in this tripe.

Sorry, this sound as though there are some scary moments in the movie, there are not. It is a mish mash, within a mish mash.

I'm off to Hollywood to write a script. It surely can't be that difficult.

Please save your £5 and avoid at all costs.

The Unborn (2009)

Just awful

[2/10 · 3 March 2009]

I paid to see this in the cinemas and I'm struggling to think of a worse film and I've watched some Steven Seagal stuff!

It starts off with the promise of a decent movie and then the 15 minutes later becomes a culmination of every bad horror movie cliché in the past 30 years.

If this was a song, it would be by Michael Bolton.

Avoid at all costs.

I'll tell you what's good, Gran Torino. Fab movie.

Trying to get my 10 lines of text.

Hope that's me now.