evilresident097 Reviews

White House Down (2013)

I'll hate myself in the morning, but I liked it!

[7/10 · 29 June 2013]

After the entertaining Olympus Has Fallen in March, I thought White House Down would be a big steaming pile and just another reason for Roland Emmerich to kill the White House AGAIN. The trailers weren't too promising and I doubted the casting of Tatum as the reluctant hero. But after a Thursday night screening at AMC, I was completely blindsided by how entertaining it really was. The story is the "Die Hard in...."- esque, with Channing Tatum as the guy whose in the wrong place at the wrong time. But he is actually a convincing lead here. Cast wise, he held it here. Foxx on the other hand seemed kind of flip-flop and confused. Yeah, he's stereotypical with his Jordans & all, but I let that slide out of sheer generosity and the fact that his & Tatum's chemistry really worked for me. Most of the supporting cast is scattered, Jason Clarke is a decent villain, and James Woods is....a villain again?! *gasp* But really, it is Tatum's show. The writing? Atrocious, but that's typical for an Emmerich film. WHD is packed full of action clichés, but some of them surprisingly worked. And where the film really kicks teeth in is in the action. The fights, explosions, and car chases were all entertaining. It's definitely a movie to leave your brain turned off for, but if you look past the fact that it's basically a PG-13 Olympus, you will have fun. 7/10

Best Bits: Emmerich's pension for filming satisfying destruction scenes, Tatum's overall performance, the chemistry between Tatum & Foxx, some nostalgic clichés & subtle if cheesy humor ("Could you not hit me in the head with a rocket while I'm trying to drive?!" lolz)

Worst Bits: TERRIBLE writing, bland supporting cast, the rest of the clichés, too long at 137 minutes.

Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)

Eh, it's got its moments.

[6/10 · 9 August 2011]

Plot: As Alice (Milla Jovovich) continues her fight against the nefarious Umbrella Corporation, she meets up with a group of survivors in Los Angeles, who are trying to reach the safe haven known as Arcadia.

So far, here's how the series has done, in my opinion: the first was great, the second was horrible, and the third, though somewhat laughable, was still entertaining. After seeing this one though, I think the series is starting to go downhill again. The movie delivers basically what you could expect: tons of zombie-killing action, some cardboard cutout characters, and a useless story. Afterlife succeeds in all of this.

Aside from the lead performance by Jovovich, I could hardly care less for any of the other actors. One of the unfortunately bad performances actually goes to Wentworth Miller, who played an agonizingly hollow Chris Redfield. And the story needed a complete re-do, because it was almost pointless. One example is the use of the Executioner from the game series. Though I thought his fight with Alice and Claire was cool, I was completely puzzled as to what his purpose in the movie was.

It does do well in the action sequences, including an awesome, though short, standoff on a rooftop. But some of the action is overdrawn thanks to the ridiculously large amount of slow-motion. If they ran the movie without slow-mo, I bet the movie would lose half of its running time. XD I also liked the soundtrack by media boys tomandandy and the film's use of 3D really helped during some of the more intense moments.

Overall it does have its perks and the 3D's good, but this is nothing more than a one-trick pony. Believe me; I'm a big fan of the games, and even I was disappointed.

Drive Angry (2011)

So bad, it's actually really good!

[8/10 · 6 March 2011]

The Plot: Milton(Cage) is a man who has escaped from Hell. His agenda: save his granddaughter from being sacrificed at the hands of a backwoods Satanic cult led by Jonah King(Burke), who also murdered Milton's daughter. Along the way he meets tough chick Piper(Heard), who decides to tag along for the ride. But also in for the trip is The Accountant (Fichtner), Satan's right hand man who'll stop at nothing to bring Milton back where he belongs.

If any recent movie could be considered a sequel to the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino team up Grindhouse, Drive Angry would be that movie. This is a cheesy, gory, and scuzzy exploitation style flick that surprisingly entertains.

This is due to two things: One is the 3D. This is no cheap last minute post-production Clash of the Titans 3D. It's actually some of the best 3D seen all year. That's probably because director Patrick Lussier is no stranger to 3D(he did the 3D remake of My Bloody Valentine, which also had great effects). Bullets, skulls, bodies, and cars coming at me actually made the experience all the more better.

Now the second reason is Fichtner, who steals every single scene as suit wearing The Accountant. One moment he's a menacing figure who can kill you with no mercy, the next he's cruising in a truck with liquid hydrogen listening to KC & The Sunshine Band. He made this movie, and I liked his character so much that I would pay to see a spin-off.

Now what about the rest of the cast? Cage is, well, Cage. He's actually a little more tame that his normal insane persona. That also makes him look like cardboard through some scenes. His stupid one liners were also pretty terrible, but not in a good way. Burke is basically a psychotic Southern Louisiana boy who you'd rather laugh at than be afraid of. Heard is okay, but some of the time she just feels like filler. David Morse has a few scenes as Milton's old friend, but he didn't get that much screen time and I left myself wondering why he was there. was he a sidekick? One to seek advice from? I don't get it.

The script is crap but that's obvious. Throw in a guitar fueled score by Michael Wandmacher and you've got yourself a full hour and 45 minutes of insanity that left me smiling and cheering throughout. I actually wanted to give the movie a 9, but then I realized that extra star was just for the 3D. If you don't catch this at a theater, still give it a midnight view with a 6-pack and some friends. You won't be disappointed.

8/10

The Fan (1996)

The fall of Gil Renard

[8/10 · 24 February 2011]

The Plot: Gil Renard (De Niro) is an everyday guy with a lot of problems. He's divorced and is barely able to hold his job as a knife salesman. But there is one thing that Gil can find solace in: baseball. He's a dedicated fan of his San Francisco Giants and now that prized player Bobby Rayburn (Snipes) has been added to the team, Gil is all the more into the sport. But as his life spirals down further, the unstable and short tempered Gil becomes psychotically fixated on his favorite player and will do anything, even murder, to make sure that Bobby is the best in the league.

I don't see why critics dogged this movie. This is actually one tense thriller and I liked the lead performance by De Niro as this whacked out fan. You actually kind of feel bad for the poor schmuck. His life has hit a bad pitch (no pun intended) and he tries to make things better by taking his son to ballgames among other things. And when he goes into full-on psycho, De Niro is perfectly creepy. As for Snipes, he's not too bad. He's got problems of his own, too, as his character has to deal with being distant from his own son. The soundtrack is pretty good, with multiple versions of the Nine Inch Nails song "Closer" playing during the more intense scenes. Film score legend Hans Zimmer also provides the official score, which is both twisted and somewhat heartfelt (mostly during the earlier bits of the film).

On the bad end, there was some cinematography issues throughout. And sadly, this movie could have used a better script. Gil's poem during the opening credits and his baseball logic he learned from his old "mentor" Coop are the only real high points in the writing. And I wasn't too impressed with the film's limp ending.

Overall, this is actually a pretty good film. It's directed by Tony Scott, who's had a pretty good track record with films like Man on Fire, Enemy of the State, Top Gun, and the remake of The Taking of Pelham 123. Sadly, this is one of his most underrated films that deserved a whole lot more than it did.

Clash of the Titans (2010)

Could've been better, yet could've been WAY worse.

[6/10 · 27 July 2010]

The Plot: Apparently, we humans have insulted and basically abandoned the Gods. In retaliation, the god Hades(Ralph Fiennes) will destroy the city of Argos(it destroyed the statue of Zeus) in 10 days, unless Princess Andromeda(Alexa Davalos) is sacrificed to his beast, the Kraken. To stop the Kraken, demigod Perseus(Sam Worthington) reluctantly joins a batch of soldiers led by Draco(Mads Mikkelsen) to kill Medusa, as her stare will turn any man or creature to stone. Along the way they run into Stygian Witches and giant scorpions, and Perseus starts developing a relationship with Io(Gemma Arterton), who knows more about Perseus than he does. Meanwhile, Hades is really planning to overthrow the king of the Gods, Zeus(Liam Neeson) for his own brand of ruling.

Okay, let's get one thing straight: seeing this in 3D SUCKED!! It was a cheap last minute decision that to me was just a way to grab more cash.

Glad I got that out of the way. In all, this movie isn't terrible, but then again, it isn't that fun cheesiness found in the 1981 original. First is the acting. Everyone sounds so bored. Even Neeson, a tough guy from the likes of Batman Begins and Taken, falls quite short. Worthington is hammed up to the max, and some of the others sound like they're reading from a mythology textbook. The only above average performance goes to Fiennes as the evil Hades. And what's with the gods wearing suits of armor? It's like a clash of Mythology and the Renaissance. I also thought the Kraken deserved more screen time. The way they were promoting this, you'd think the Kraken would have showed up for at least 15 minutes. It just felt too short.

Now to the goodies. The action, though there's isn't too much, is pretty fun. I even think the Medusa battle is a little better and improved. The effects and setting are pretty good, though the great Ray Harryhausen's work will always remain king. I also kind of enjoyed the score by Ramin Djawadi(Iron Man, Prison Break), which I later bought on Itunes.

Overall, this is a decently done film that, if casted and thought of better, would have been a nice Spring blockbuster. Instead we're left with only glimpses of that.

The Verdict: 5 for the cruddy 3D and I actually give the traditional 2D a 6. The Good: Nice effects and battles. The Bad: A terribly cheap 3D conversion and wooden performances to almost every character.

Avatar (2009)

Freaking epic! A movie so nice I saw it twice.

[10/10 · 1 January 2010]

Plot: In 2154, the RDA begins mining on Pandora, a lush tropical planet in some distant galaxy. This planet is populated by the Na'vi, a race of blue, cat-like beings. In order to learn from the Na'vi, the Avatar program was created. In this, a human's mind is transported to that of a genetically created Na'vi. Disabled marine Jake Sully(Sam Worthington) is the latest to have an Avatar. His mission: learn from the Na'vi clan known as the Omaticaya and try to find a way to remove them from their homes, where a large deposit of a priceless mineral lies. But as Sully becomes attached to the Na'vi, including falling in love with princess Neytiri(Zoe Saldana), he realizes humans are the bad guys and must stop Col. Quaritch(Stephen Lang) and his soldiers from eliminating the Na'vi.

James Cameron has done it again! After Oscar-winning epics like Aliens, Terminator 2, and Titanic, he has once again captivated us with a surefire winner. This is a visual feast for the eyes that makes Transformers and 2012 look like indie flicks. The effects are by far the best ever done in film making, and I'm not going overboard. The work on the Na'vi is the most lifelike I've ever seen. These creatures look pretty well like their actors, so that's ten points for motion capture. And Cameron knows how to cast 'em. Among the cast is Wes Studi, Michelle Rodriguez, Joel David Moore, Giovanni Ribisi, Dileep Rao, CCH Pounder, and Cameron regular Sigourney Weaver who steals most of her scenes. And another grand thing is the score by legendary Oscar winner James Horner, who's also worked on various projects with Cameron. His beats give the film a true native feel. And I fully suggest this be viewed in 3-D, as Cameron's style of filming deserves to only be shown in that way.

Last year, there was an incredible film called The Dark Knight, that became an Oscar winning billionaire that was easily the best of '08. Well, lightning might strike twice in the same spot with Avatar. This is the most flawless and satisfying film of the year. And maybe one of the best of the decade.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Incredible!

[9/10 · 30 December 2009]

Plot: Sherlock Holmes(Robert Downey, Jr.) is a well known detective in 1890's London. He and his partner, Dr. John Watson(Jude Law) have solved various mysteries/crimes, with their latest being the subduing of Lord Henry Blackwood(Mark Strong), a sophisticated psycho who knows sorcery. But somehow Blackwood has survived his execution and has plans of world domination(how original). Now the case is reopened and Holmes and Watson, with the aid of Irene Addler(Rachel McAdams), who has outfoxed Holmes twice, will have to stop the sinister Blackwood before his plan is set in motion.

Guy Ritchie has possibly delivered his best work yet. After gangster films like RocknRolla and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, he might have finally found his big hit, both foreign and domestic. Downey, Jr. is hilarious as the titular sleuth. He's funny when he has to be, and smart when he has to be. That's why he rightfully deserves a Golden Globe nomination for his performance. The action is also pretty darn good, especially the slow motion close quarters fights. It's like they added some pieces of Fight Club into the movie. I also really enjoyed the score by Oscar-winning composer Hans Zimmer. His piano bits are the best parts, playing to the feel of 1800's England. The only problem is that at a few points, the movie gets a bit too smart on us. Holmes is a genius, but I'm not fully interested in his Einstein like blather.

Overall, this is a well done mix of action, humor, thrills, and mystery. I give it a 9 out of 10.

Friday the 13th (2009)

A successful rehash of one of horror's ultimate icons.

[5/10 · 8 December 2009]

Plot: On Friday, June 13, of 1980, Jason Voorhees supposedly drowned at Camp Crystal Lake. His mother Pamela(Nana Visitor) went insane and killed all but one of the camp counselors, who did her in with a machete. But Jason wasn't dead: his watched his mother die. Ever since, Jason(Derek Mears) has prowled the remains of the camp, killing anyone who dares cross his path. Meanwhile, Trent(Travis van Winkle), Jenna(Danielle Panabaker), and their friends head to Trent's house for beer, drugs and sex. Also thrown into the mix is Clay(Jared Padalecki), who's been searching for his sister who went missing in the area six weeks earlier. But they'll have to deal with the machete wielding hockey masked psycho that is Jason Voorhees.

I don't care what the critics say. I enjoyed most of this movie overall. First is the new Jason. He's leaner, meaner, and a lot more athletic. In one scene we see Jason on the ground and mere seconds later, he's climbed the roof of a pretty big house. Another has running like a marathon man, a huge improvement of the slug from the 80's. I also give credit to Steve Jablonsky(Transformers 1&2, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), who makes a wicked score for the film, mixing his work with that of Harry Manfredini, composer of the original Friday. But it has its faults. Take away the new Jason, and you get the basic hack 'n' slash that's been in 10 movies and a spin off. The acting is really average, but top performances go to Mears as Jason and Aaron Yoo as the Chewie, the comic relief who really knows how to play his part.

*Note: I recommend the Killer Cut of this film. Not only does it run nearly 10 minutes longer, but it makes the film lightly more enjoyable.

Overall, this is a better remake of the horror genre. But if they make a round 2, please don't let it go the way of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. I give Friday the 13th a 7 out of 10.

Ninja Assassin (2009)

One of the best (and very messy) ninja films of all time.

[9/10 · 27 November 2009]

Plot: When Raizu(Rain) was just a child he was kidnapped by the Ozunu Clan and trained to become one of the most notorious types of assassin: a ninja. But when he was still in training, his friend was killed and later Raizu betrayed Lord Ozunu(Sho Kosugi) and his clan of ninjas. Now Raizu must protect Europol agent Mika Coretti(Naomie Harris), who has discovered the clan and made herself a target for Ozunu. What follows is an hour and forty minutes of full blown carnage and mayhem, ninja style.

It may sound wacky, but this sweet adrenaline rush shouldn't be missed. The plot is pretty hazy, and that ends up being the only fail point for the entire film. The action is INSANE. Every fight scene/shootout is really fast paced and action packed. It's also very gruesome and gory. In the first scene, a group of everyday thugs get decapitated, dismembered, and impaled with nasty ninja instruments of destruction. And don't forget the limbs flying all over the place in nearly every fight scene.

All in all, don't let that rancid "New Moon" hype keep you from buying a ticket to 99 minutes of pure ninja fun. And for all the squeamish, please don't forget your barf bags as well. This ain't no kiddie ride. I give it a 9 out of 10.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Easily one of the best films of the decade.

[10/10 · 24 November 2009]

Plot: Batman(Christian Bale) is now a well known crime fighter in Gotham City. Criminals are afraid to walk the streets at night in fear of the Caped Crusader. But one criminal shows no fear, and also no sign of sanity whatsoever. He is the Joker(Heath Ledger); a psychopath wearing clownish make-up with a grotesque scar along his mouth in the form of some macabre smile. This guy's mission is simple: to destroy Gotham and turn everything into chaos. But Batman isn't alone. On his side is Gotham DA Harvey Dent(Aaron Eckhart) and Lt. Jim Gordon(Gary Oldman). But this is gonna be the toughest challenge Gotham's "hero" will have to face.

In every way, this film is incredible. The best part is Heath Ledger's terrifying, Oscar-winning performance as the Joker. He makes this character one of the most evil villains of all time, even bypassing Javier Bardem's Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men. The effects are also pretty well done, including an intense chase scene that introduces Batman's newest toy: the Batpod. And I believe that Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard were wrongfully snubbed from earing a Best Original Score nomination. The Joker's theme, a piece called Why So Serious, is as eerie as the character. Speaking of snubs, I also believe that Christopher Nolan should have got a Best Director nom, as well as the film getting a nomination for Best Picture.

Overall, do not miss this masterpiece of film and winner of two Oscars(Best Supporting Actor for Ledger and Best Sound Editing). I give it a perfect 10.

2012 (I) (2009)

A pretty acceptable big budget behemoth.

[7/10 · 16 November 2009]

Of all of Roland Emmerich's bug budget disaster pics, this one takes the cake, or planet actually. It may be one of the most expensive, but it's one of the most action packed films of the year.

In case you never watched the trailers, or TV in general, it follows the ancient Mayan prediction that our world gets destroyed on 12/21/2012, described as a cause of solar flares, increasing the temperature of Earth's core and causing worldwide crust displacement. It is actually discovered 3 years early by Dr. Adrian Helmsley(Chitwetel Ejiofor) and soon the government begins building ships meant to withstand the effects of 2012, but tickets to these arks are $1 billion, each. Then, inevitably, the disasters happen. The earthquakes and super volcanoes and tsunamis, oh my! In the midst of this is Jackson Curtis(John Cusack), a failed writer turned limo driver who stumbles upon the impending disaster by mere chance. Driving like a madman, he treks to L.A. to rescue his ex-wife Kate(Amanda Peet), kids Noah(Liam James) and Lily(Morgan Lily), and Kate's boyfriend Gordon(Thomas McCarthy). We see they're daring escape in a spectacular 7-8 minute special effects feast and after that, they decide it's off to the Himalayas, to where the ships are located. Many more disasters ensue.

The best part of 2012 is the most obvious: its effects. In my personal opinion, this is the best effects Ememrich has given to the world. The best of this is shown in the L.A. Escape scene in which our hero and his family outrun a gigantic quake in a limo and in a private plane, they dodge subway trains and towering skyscrapers. This film has a definite nom for the Best Effects Oscar, and may even be good enough for the win. And Emmerich knows star power. Aside from Cusack, Platt, and Ejiofor, the A-grade cast also includes Woody Harrelson(as comic relief conspiracy theorist/nut case Charlie Frost), Thandie Newton(as the president's daughter), and Danny Glover as the president of the U.S..

It's faults are easily identified though. The script is atrocious and very familiar, at its peak in a scene where Ejiofor's character gives a 2-minute swan song speech telling everyone to stand together. It's also incredibly long, clocking in at over 2 and a half hours. They didn't even really need most of the first hour.

But overall this was actually a good piece of Emmerich's film-making. It's brilliant cast and mind-blowing effects almost completely make me forgive Roland for 10,000 B.C. and Godzilla. But he still needs to hire a good writer for once.

7 out of 10

Paranormal Activity (2007)

The perfect Halloween treat.

[10/10 · 31 October 2009]

Everyone at my school had been jabbering about Paranormal Activity for a couple of weeks, and I thought it was just a big pile of over-hype. So last night I had a free night from work and I decided to see what all the hype was about. By the time I got out of the theater, I was still shaking from fear. Skeptics, this move can and will get you.

It's plot is about this couple Micah(himself) and Katie(herself), who had been having minor experiences of strange activity in their San Diego home. Micah decides to buy a camera to record any of this activity while they sleep and night by night, something DOES happen. It starts small, but then it gets worse every night, and Micah's taunts to this demon(sorry, this isn't a ghost story) are making it even more hard for the folks.

The effects, while minimal and cheap(banging, invisible feet and hands), are very effective and got me twice. But the real scare is the ending. This offers one of the most terrifying endings of all time. And there's more than 1 ending(I saw the original ending). What finale you see is based on the theater's choice and hopefully you'll see the original like I did. And even though this movie's very cheap, budgeted at only $15,000, it has a feel of a modern day Blair Witch, only it's way more awesome and terrifying. One of the best horror films in the past decade, that's for sure. 10 out of 10.

The Final Destination (2009)

So gory, so insane, yet incredibly short and rushed.

[6/10 · 31 August 2009]

The forth and final installment in the popular franchise, The Final Destination follows teen Nick O'Bannon(Bobby Campo), who has a premonition that a deadly race car crash will occur at the McKinley Speedway and will kill him along with his friends and many others. His commotion saves him and nine others from the deadly crash; his girlfriend Lori(Shantel VanSanten), friends Janet(Haley Webb) and Hunt(Nick Zano), everyday mom Samantha(Krista Allen), mechanic Andy(Andrew Fischella) and his girlfriend Nadia(Stephanie Honore), racist Carter(Justin Welborn), and security guard George(Mykelti Williamson). But Nick has broken Death's design and slowly, and very graphically, these survivors begin dying in gruesome accidents. Only through his intervention can Nick cheat Death again, or else all of the survivors, including himself will reach their final destination.

I loved the first three movies, but this entry proves that the series has kind of lost it's bite. The deaths, while still pretty unique, have lost some of their luster and were not as satisfying as what the first three offered. I also felt the film moved along too fast, with the film running at only 82 minutes. And the acting, which even has well known actor Mykelti Williamson(Bubba!!!), is pathetically weak. It's just full of characters that you want to have picked off.

But on the positives, I did really like the raceway crash at the beginning of the film. I also enjoyed the fact it was in 3-D. I wouldn't really recommend paying extra cash, but the effects were above par in my opinion(it's got more guts that My Bloody Valentine, for sure). I also enjoyed the score by Brian Tyler, whose theme for the film is a mix of Shirley Walker's theme and a bunch of hard rock.

Overall, I give The Final Destination an average 6 out of 10. This would be the perfect time for the series to cash out its chips, cause I'd hate to see them ruin like what happened with the Saw series.

Doom (2005)

So-so game adaption.

[5/10 · 14 July 2009]

Doom follows a group of Marines called the Rapid Response Tactical Squad(RRTS) who are sent to the Olduvai Research Facility on Mars to respond to a threat that has six people missing on the facility. The team is led by Sarge(Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) and Reaper(Karl Urban), who has joined along since his sister Samantha(Rosamund Pike) is also at Olduvai. Things get bad when nightmarish creatures begin stalking the Marines and picking them off one by one.

Doom was a fun game, and with The Rock starring, I thought this movie would kick tail. Well that task wasn't quite accomplished. For the positives, the movie is just as violent as the game, with lots of blood and gore. It's also dark like the series, literally. Half of the movie is incredibly dark and I thought night vision goggles would be needed. On the negatives, the film screws up the plot from the games. It's not demon hell spawn, but a virus that's causing the creatures? Are you serious?!! And the acting is pathetic, especially on Rocky's part(he got rightfully nominated for a Worst Actor Razzie). The film does pay tribute by popping in a FPS sequence, but that only lasts like 5 minutes(it's a little bit longer in the Unrated cut).

Overall, I give it a 5 out of 10. More FPS and a better plot, please.

The Condemned (2007)

A modest attempt at a Battle Royale style film.

[6/10 · 14 July 2009]

The Condemned follows ten death row inmates from around the world who are purchased by producer Ian Breckel(Robert Mammone). Breckel decides to use these guys as "contestants" on his new show called The Condemned, in which these convicts will fight to the death on a secluded island. An ankle bomb is placed on each contestant and the last one alive wins their freedom, plus a nice sum of cash. Among these convicts is Jack Conrad("Stone Cold" Steve Austin), an ex-Delta Force operative and the closest thing to a good guy among the convicts. But also among the group is maniac Ewan McStarley(Vinnie Jones), who serves as the main antagonist. Jack will have to fight to stay alive if her ever wants to win his freedom.

I know there are a lot of people giving this a bad rep, but it's not that bad. The acting is weak(something in nearly every WWE Films picture), the movie's a bit long, and the script is blah, but those are the only major problems. I really liked the action and I thought Stone Cold portrayed a better hero than John Cena's character in The Marine. It kind of reminds me of another film that put people on an island who were forced to kill each other. Oh yeah, that was Battle Royale. This is no Battle Royale, but it's at least acceptable.

Overall I give it a 6 out of 10.

Prom Night (I) (2008)

A tasteless hunk of garbage.

[1/10 · 14 July 2009]

Three years ago, Donna(Brittany Snow) was forced to watch her former teacher Richard Fenton(Jonathan Schaech), who was obsessed with the girl, kill her entire family. Fenton was put away and Donna had to go into therapy. Now it's Donna's last year of high school and she's getting ready for the senior prom. But Fenton's escaped from jail and he tracks her to the prom. Det. Winn(Idris Elba), the man who put away the psycho those years ago, desperately tries to stop him before he finishes what he once started.

Now I know there are crappy horror remakes like House of Wax and One Missed Call, but this one takes the cake. For the positives, it's incredibly short. But that's about it. The acting is pathetic, with wooden performances all around. The scares are weak too.This is supposed to be a horror film. You need the occasional pop-ups. But this ruins any of those chances, like Fenton slowly appearing out of the darkness to the point where you can see him clearly and then attempting to scare the wits out of you, but that slow movement has already killed that off.

Overall I give it a 1 out of 10(I wish there was a zero stars option). This is definitely a night I WOULD want to forget.

Die Hard (1988)

John McClane is the best of the best!

[10/10 · 14 July 2009]

Die Hard follows John McClaine(Bruce Willis), a NYC cop who goes to LA on Christmas Eve to try piece together his relationship with his wife, Holly(Bonnie Bedelia), who's attending a party at her place of employment, the Nakatomi Plaza building. But just as everything is going well, German terrorist Hans Gruber(Alan Rickman) and a band of his boys arrive to crash the party. Why? For the $640,000,000 in bearer bonds. Everyone including Holly is rounded up as hostages, but John gets away. Using ventilation shafts, quick movements, and his Beretta, John must stop Gruber and save his wife.

Die Hard is one of the all-time classics in the action category. Bruce Willis kicks tail as McClane, an everyday guy who uses his wit and one-liners to save the day. Alan Rickman is incredibly successful as a villain who's smart yet deliciously evil. The effects are also well done, including the roof explosion scene. The blend of action and humor also adds to the great entertainment value.

Overall I give it a perfect 10. Die Hard DEFINES action. Nuff said.

The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009)

Travolta vs. Washington, with a big choo choo.

[8/10 · 13 July 2009]

I watched the original The Taking of Pelham One Two Three a couple of months ago on a premium channel, and I loved it. The trailer for this remake looked pretty awesome, with Denzel Washington and John Travolta starring and Tony Scott directing. I overall enjoyed this remake, even though it's not as good as the 1974 Walter Matthau/Robert Shaw classic.

It follows Walter Garber(Washington), a NYC subway dispatcher who has been demoted due to a possible bribe problem. One day, a con known only as Ryder(Travolta) and three others hijack subway train Pelham 123. Ryder demands $10 million in exchange for the hostages in the front subway car. He wants the money in 1 hour. If it takes longer than that, Ryder will kill one passenger for every extra minute. During the time it takes to get the money, Garber and Ryder have a series of chit-chats. But things get even more crazy when Ryder demands that Garber deliver the money himself.

First, the positives. The chemistry between Travolta and Washington is excellent. Washington is great as an everyday guy who handles this situation very emotionally. Travolta is back on the good acting track as Ryder who, while colder than Shaw's version, is also more likable and is a character you can show more remorse for. There are also great supporting performances. John Turturro is good as a hostage negotiator who supports Garber throughout the film and James Gandolfini steals his scenes as the mayor of NYC.

Now for the negatives. The first 60-70 minutes are great. Then the movie takes an idiotic turn towards The Bourne Ultimatum with an out of nowhere car chase. This practically ruins the rest of the film. I also disliked some of the changes made from the 1974 version.

Overall I give it an 8 out of 10. I'd give it a higher score, but that last act ruined its chances.

Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Mr. Raimi is back and better than ever!

[9/10 · 13 July 2009]

After the ultimate letdown that was Spider-Man 3, Sam Raimi decided to return to his directing roots, the horror genre, in Drag Me to Hell.

It follows Christine(Alison Lohman), a woman who has a pretty good job and an overall great life. She's also gunning for a promotion as assistant manager at her place of employment, a loan office. It's a close race, but her boss Mr. Jacks(David Paymer) will give the promotion to the person who can "make the tough decisions". Christine does this by declining elderly gypsy Mrs. Ganush(Lorna Raver) a third mortgage extension. Ganush later attacks Christine and gives the curse of the Larmia, in which Christine will be tormented by dark spirits for 3 days before being dragged to the fiery pits of hell. With help from her boyfriend Clay(Justin Long), fortune teller Rham Jas(Dileep Rao), and medium Shaun San Dena(Flor de Maria Chahua), who once and unsuccessfully tried to break the curse years ago, Christine must hurry if she ever wants to save her life. Otherwise, it's hell she'll go.

First, the positives. I enjoyed the dark humor seen throughout the film. I know most say this is a straightforward horror exercise, but I'd classify it as more of a Evil Dead-esquire horror/comedy. It uses splat-stick as its primary humor producer. There's even a scene involving an anvil that reminds me of Wile E. Coyote. Another great scene involving a séance that goes awry both make me laugh and scream. Speaking of screams, the movie also scared the living daylights out of me. I screamed three times and kept holding my hand over my eyes. It kind of uses that sick humor to lull you in a false sense of security and then WAM!, a creepy version of Ganush surrounded by flames pops up. It just plain works. I also liked the performances. Lohman's performance as Christine helps you feel sorry for the girl, even though she screwed up big time. The score by Christopher Young is great, composed mostly of violins. This music also helps out for the easily scared folk, as it hints when a scare is about to happen.

On the negatives, I felt the film was too short(99 minutes). That's been a problem for the Evil Dead series too, with an average clock in at about an hour and a half. I was kinda left wanting more. But other than that, this is pure gold.

Overall I give it a near perfect 9 out of 10. I'm praying for a trilogy. Or at least a sequel.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

More of the same old Michael Bay- All effects, no fun.

[4/10 · 13 July 2009]

I really enjoyed the 2007 film Transformers and was disappointed it didn't win the Oscar for Best Visual Effects. When I heard of the sequel, Revenge of the Fallen, I was ready for an even better sequel. I heard it wasn't all that good via RottenTomatoes(19% rating currently), but I brushed that off. I even bought an IMAX ticket(this was my first non-zoo IMAX visit). What I got was 2 and a half hours of time lost and $13.50 as well. The critics were, right: this was one BIG disappointment.

It follows Sam(Shia LaBeouf), who is now in a big relationship with Mikaela(Megan Fox), going to college while the Autobots, including good old' Optimus Prime(voice of Peter Cullen), have sided with human soldiers to take down all of the Decepticons on Earth. After touching a piece of the AllSpark, Sam's mind is filled with symbols and this information causes Sam to become a target of the Decepticons. Apparently the Fallen, a prime who really hates Earth. It's a basically another clash between good bots and bad bots. Oh yeah, and Megatron(voice of Hugo Weaving) has been revived and he's looking for a little revenge.

For the positives. The film has great effects. It also has plenty more bots than the first film. And pretty much you have almost all of the major original characters(John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhammel and even Kevin Dunn and Julie White as Sam's parents) from the first film, except for Jon Voight(good move on his part).

On the negatives, it's mostly same old Bay, with a weak plot and lackluster performances. One of the film's new humans, Sam's college roommate and later companion Leo Spitz(Ramon Rodriguez), is utterly annoying. And that's just an example. Unfortunately, I didn't care much for the effects after the first 20 minutes, as the excessive running time really annoyed me(I checked my watch like 20 times). The film has plenty of moments that didn't need to be put in, and I even think some of the fight sequences were unnecessary. If I had my way, I'd shave out the useless bits, which would reduce the running time to 100-105 minutes. And what's with you, Michael? It's like he said, "Okay, we need to focus mostly on our effects. Forget acting and story, get those effects guys on the hook now!!!!!!" I thought the first film was his chance for a great comeback, but this just destroyed it. In fact, aside from Transformers, Bay hasn't done a decently good film since 1998's Armageddon. If they do a Transformers 3, hopefully they'll look on this film as what they should NOT do.

Overall, I give Revenge of the Fallen a 4 out of 10. What a shame. And it's still going to make oodles of cash($672 million worldwide and counting).

Pearl Harbor (2001)

Signature Michael Bay - Great effects, yet weak in almost everything else.

[5/10 · 13 July 2009]

I'm a fan of big war films, like Platoon, We Were Soldiers, and Saving Private Ryan. When I saw Pearl Harbor six years ago, I thought it would reach the ranks of those films. But in like the recent Michael Bay, it was all effects, no movie.

It follows U.S. Air Corps 1st Lieutenants Rafe McCawley(Ben Affleck) and Danny Walker(Josh Hartnett), buddies since childhood. Rafe goes to join the Royale Air Force Eagle Squadrons while Danny is transferred to Pearl Harbor. Before he leaves, Rafe falls in love with Evelyn(Kate Beckinsale), a nurse who is also going to Pearl Harbor. Soon, while in battle, Rafe is shot down and presumed dead. Danny and Evelyn are shocked, but then they begin dating. Three months later, Rafe returns to find this out, but soon forgives Danny. Then the big one happens: the attack on Pearl Harbor, which Danny, Rafe, and Evelyn are swept into.

Here's the positives. The score by Hans Zimmer is great and I think "Tennessee" one of his best pieces ever. The cast is A-grade, with roles filled by Jon Voight(President Frankin D. Roosevelt), Dan Aykroyd(Captain Thurman), Alec Baldwin(Lt. Colonel Jimmy Doolittle), Cuba Gooding Jr.(Petty Officer 2nd Class Doris Miller), and Tom Sizemore(Sgt. Earl Sistern). Watch for small roles by Eric Christian Olsen and Never Back Down star Sean Faris in the Doolittle Raids part. The best part, which I I do have to give my thumbs up to, is the effects. The explosions and aerial fights are excellent. The attack, while extremely flawed in historical accuracy, exploits all of those in a adrenaline fueled ride.

Now for the negatives. The acting is TERRIBLE. Affleck is a joke, and Hartnett is no ace either(at least he did great in Black Hawk Down). The film is also highly inaccurate. I mean I know this is a love story/ action film so there's supposed to be some inaccuracy, but this is way over the legal limit in my opinion. It's even inaccurate on the Doolittle raids. The only good parts are in the fighting and in total that only racks up about an hour and 10 minutes, leaving nearly 2 hours of boredom.

Overall I give this film a so-so 5 out of 10 for the effects, cast, and music. Nothing more, nothing less.

P.S.: I recommend viewing the director's cut, only in the fact it's rated R and has a couple of extra scenes.

Public Enemies (2009)

Johnny Depp IS John Dillinger!

[9/10 · 3 July 2009]

After riding on the gravy train that was the Pirates of the Caribbean, Johnny Depp delivers his best performance yet as 1930s bank robber John Dillinger.

Here's the skinny: After robbing many banks during the Depression, John Dillinger(Depp) is now Public Enemy #1. FBI director J. Edgar Hoover(Billy Crudup) sets up a task force to catch Dillinger and his gang, making FBI agent Melvin Purvis(Christian Bale) its leader. Meanwhile Dillinger, aside from robbing banks and repeatedly busting out of jail, is in a relationship with Billie Frechette(Marion Cotillard). What follows are Dillinger's last days until his death.

What shines best is of course the lead performance by Depp. He easily makes Dillinger look like an anti-hero rather than a heartless villain. Dillinger was a hero to most of the public in the Depression, and Depp easily creates Dillinger that way as well for the audience. The film is also well scored by Elliot Goldenthal, who also did the score for director Michael Mann's 1995 crime classic Heat. The film is mostly accurate history wise, save for a few mistakes. Aside from Dillinger, there are appearances of more big-time criminals like Baby Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd, played by Stephen Graham and Channing Tatum. The film also drags a little bit, but it is still an excellent crime film.

Overall: 9 out of 10

12 Rounds (2009)

It's not great, but it's better than "The Marine".

[6/10 · 10 June 2009]

After the disaster that was "The Marine", I was pretty skeptical about this action vehicle staring John Cena. but it actually surpass my expectations.

One year ago, Danny Fisher(Cena) was an everyday New Orleans cop. But by dumb luck, he ran into big-time terrorist Miles Jackson(Aidan Gillen). Fisher busts Miles, but the crook's fiancée Erica(Taylor Cole) is killed in the process. Miles blames Fisher and vows revenge. Today Danny's a detective, but his life drastically takes a nosedive when Miles busts out of prison and snags Danny's girlfriend Molly(Ashley Scott). To get her back alive, Danny has to complete 12 challenges created by Miles throughout the city. It sounds tough, but Danny will have to play by Miles' little game if he ever wants to see Molly again.

This is basically "Speed" combined with "Die Hard". Wait, didn't people associated with those movies work on this one? Yeah, Renny Harlin(director of "Die Hard 2") plays director and Mark Gordon(producer of "Speed") is producer. It felt like a rehash of all of those adrenaline fueled action films over the past 20 years. But it had some of the good parts smashed in as well. Some of the rounds were actually really good, like the round involving Danny being trapped in an elevator and only zed amount of time to get out before the elevator drops, killing him and an innocent security guard. But I mean, seriously it was way too much like "Speed". Danny's partner Hank(Brain J. White) was immediately like Keanu Reeves' partner played by Jeff Daniels. The antagonist created by Gillen is utterly annoying. He's like a cross between Hans Gruber and an angry little Irish leprechaun. The script is also scratchy, littered with cheese and clichés. But on the good side, I did like Cena's performance. He's no Bruce Willis, but he's way better than his character in "The Marine".

If it weren't so familiar and had better writing, Cena might have had his 1st hit. But in the end, it was at least easy to sit and overall was pretty decent. It's worth a rental.

Shocker (1989)

It's not Craven's best, but it was still fun.

[7/10 · 4 June 2009]

I only recently discovered this 1989 Wes Craven feature and even though it's cheap(cost only $5 million to make), I actually thought this was an alright film.

It follows a serial killer with a limp named Horace Pinker(Mitch Pileggi), who is terrorizing Los Angeles. Jonathan Parker(a young Peter Berg) is a high school football hero and one day after an accident, he manages to actually encounter Pinker. Soon Jonathan helps his dad, Lt. Don Parker(Michael Murphy), find and capture Pinker, who's sentenced to death via the electric chair. But Pinker made a deal with the devil and when he gets fried he becomes pure electricity. Pinker can now use this power to transport from various human bodies to continue killing. You can tell when Pinker's invaded a body, via a limp from the possessed. Only Jonathan, along with help from the spirit of his dead girlfriend Allison(Camille Cooper), can stop Pinker and his murderous ways for good.

This movie actually made me laugh, and not completely in a bad way. It's more a horror/comedy than just pure horror. Pinker is a brute, but he pops out silly one-liners, like "Finger lickin' good!" after biting a guard's finger off and that well known quote, "No more Mr. Nice Guy!". I also really enjoyed the last 20 minutes, when Jonathan and Pinker actually battle inside various T.V. shows and films like "Frankenstein" and "Leave It To Beaver". But it's also so horribly written, it's kinda funny. The biggest disappointment is that due to the small budget, the effects were mostly terrible, except for a few spots in the channel surfing battle. The soundtrack for the film is pretty good, with a cover of Alice Cooper's "No More Mr. Nice Guy" being the most known.

There's a remake on the horizon and that actually sounds interesting, because of the advance in special effects technology. But the original still kept me entertained from mostly start to finish, even if it was poorly wrote and done very cheap.

7/10

Never Back Down (2008)

Good "Karate Kid" moments + MMA = an enjoyable movie.

[8/10 · 12 May 2009]

A lot of people say "Never Back Down" is a lot like "The Karate Kid". I agree, but I think it grabbed the good karate parts and switched them with some nice Mixed Martial Arts(MMA)ones. The story is basic: bad boy Jake Tyler(Sean Faris) moves to Orlando and ends up stirring trouble with Ryan(Cam Gigadent), the best fighter in the city. Tyler then has to train with his own Mr. Miyagi, MMA instructor/fighter Jean Roqua(Djimon Hounsou), to fight back and show Ryan how tough he really can be. The characters are pretty much "O.C."-esque but they manage to still entertain. The soundtrack is also really good, with titles from My Chemical Romance, Rise Against, Limp Bizkit, and more. But the best part is the fights. From Jake's first bout with Ryan to the final match at the Beatdown, the film's underground fight tourney, the fights entertain every time. Don't let the goofy title fool you: this is overall a really good fighting drama.