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ecwmadman316
Reviews
Fair Game (1995)
I like Cindy Crawford, but this is MST3K fodder if I've ever seen it.
When I was 15 years old, and this movie came out, Cindy Crawford was the absolute bomb. Dreamwoman to the world. Unfortunately for her, I'm now 22, and the only thing more glaring then her absolutely smokin body, is her abysmal lack of acting skills. With all apology's to Billy Baldwin (who does his best to make lemonade out of the lemon of a picture he got saddled with) the real stars of this movie only appear on screen for the briefest of seconds. The real stars being Cindy breasts, which you get to see during a love scene, with a very tacked on feel to it.
I don't hate this movie, and I still love Cindy, but having watched it more than once I can honestly say: take Joe Don Baker out of "Mitchell" and put Cindy in his place and it's about the same movie, except the love scene doesn't make me want to vomit in absolute horror. And if it wasn't for the fact that no new episodes are being made, I have a feeling this would have wound up the same way, with Joel and his loveable robots ripping the movie to shreads, faster than a buzzard on a gut wagon.
If your looking for cheap supermodel T&A this is the movie for you, if you want a great action thriller... like I said this has supermodel T&A.
Leonard Part 6 (1987)
Made me never want to eat Jello again.
Three words sum up what's wrong with this movie, Joe Don Baker. Serously, what the hell was that? It's like a bad version of Dr Dolittle made by acid heads. I actually saw this movie in the theater as a child and even at the tender age of 6 asked my Mom if we could leave and began crying when we didn't. This movie sucks!
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
What the hell was that?!?
The fact that someone actually paid to make this movie and thought it was a good idea is proof enough that PT Barnum was right: "Theres a sucker born every minute! Watching this movie without Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary is quite possibly more impossible than getting a steak away from Rosie O'Donnell.