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Reviews
Mad Cowgirl (2006)
Boring Time Wasting Garbage!
Whoa. I can't believe I actually watched this piece of crap all the way through. I kept watching hoping that at some point it would stop being boring, but it was boring all the way through .... all the way to the end .... which was also boring! I mean really, just because this movie has two scenes of nudity and "blood" does not make it automatically worth watching. This is one of those movies where the "blood" effects are soooo cheesy, you really don't feel scared or disgusted because it just looks so fake. And the two scenes where the heroine "bares her chest" are nothing more than that: The heroine just shows us her breasts while looking at herself in the mirror ..... seriously, the producers could have paid this actress a lot less if they excluded such boring and unnecessary nudity.
Oh yes, and all this movie sets out to do is to show us what a slut the heroine is! I mean, she has sex with no less than 12 guys! (relax, it hardly even qualifies as "softcore porn").
I don't want to spoil the movie for you since I think that would be very unfair, but take my advice: THIS MOVIE IS BORING TIME WASTING GARBAGE! JUST BECAUSE IT'S "UNIQUE" OR "ORIGINAL" IT DOES NOT, I REPEAT, DOES NOT MEAN IT IS WORTH WATCHING! STAAAAAY AWAAAAAAY! Needless to say, anyone who was stupid enough to act in this movie probably doomed their career as an actor ... and rightly so, I've never seen any of the actors in this movie appear anywhere after it! Ha! Although Sarah .... oh heck I don't know the heroine's name .... did a good job acting in this movie, alas, she doomed her career as an actress for acting in such a terrible piece of movie junk.
Remember people, this movie is not worth your time, it's just as bad as Alvin and The Chipmunks 1 & 2: Total CRAP.
Silent Venom (2009)
Total Waste of Time
This movie was sooooooo crappy. The only thing that was interesting in it was that they combined a "submarine war movie (there aren't that many of those) with a "creature feature movie" ..... but it was hardly a successful endeavour.
Yes it's true, the CGI rendering of the giant snakes was a total joke! Oh and I must comment on Krista Allen (the only woman in the film): Her acting is TERRIBLE! Seriously, its as if she was on Botox the whole movie because the expression on her face hardly changed and therefore she seemed like she had no reaction to the current situation! Don't get me wrong, she is gorgeous, but she would be much better suited to be a model or a porn actress where she won't need any acting skills.
Bottom line, go watch one of the "Anaconda" movies if you want a creature feature with big bad CGI snakes ........ they are a lot more entertaining than this piece of bunk.