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Reviews
Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985)
THE GREATEST FILM EVER COMMITTED TO CELLULOID!
Ahhhh... Pee-wee's Big Adventure. I couldn't say more than many of the people here have already said about this (almost) timeless classic. If not for the bad 80's hairdos and a Wicked Sisters cameo ("You're gonna burn in hell!" Dee Snider, how dare you flee from Pee-wee's intoxicating mania), then this film would be an ageless wonder that will sparkle in the eyes of generations to come. Not to say that it isn't anyway.
Tim Burton outdid himself in this magnificient directorial debut. Danny Elfman perhaps composed a musical score (The Breakfast Machine theme anyone?) that decimates all of Beethoven's works combined. Paul Reubens is a comedic genius! From the Tour de France to the Warner Bros. lot, Pee-wee spans the globe and the masses of the planet must succumb to his awe-inspiring power. Forget the scandals, forget anything Paul Reubens might have made in the past decade, Pee-wee's Big Adventure is his invincible landmark on American cinema and may never be toppled by anything, anytime, anywhere! Like Mr. T cereal says, "I pity the fool who don't see this movie!"
You may say I'm a loner, a rebel for my outrageous claims. But there are things about this movie you couldn't understand, you wouldn't understand, you SHOULDN'T understand if you haven't seen it already. My frenzied typing cannot even begin to encapsulate the masterpiece that is Pee-wee's Big Adventure. PAGING MR. HERMAN, PAGING MR. HERMAN! The president says it's about time you make ANOTHER PEE-WEE FILM! Get out of the Big House and into the bowtie, because THE LAW cannot stop the genius that is PEE-WEE!!
The Attic Expeditions (2001)
Total crap
Edgy? Stylish? Though-provoking?
More like Unoriginal, Stupid, and Confusing. This movie was a monumental letdown, all things considered. For starters, the plot was a messy rehash of several other "successful" movies. The writer must have been watching Fight Club, Vanilla Sky, and the Truman Show on 3 different TVs and thought "Wow, if I could only rip all 3 of these off, I could make the most mind-bogglingly retarded waste of film known to man!" The main character, Noname McNeedsActingLessons, looked like some horribly distorted charicature of George W. Bush. Seth Green, who enjoyed fame in questionably "mainstream movies," figured he could make an easy paycheck with this one by doing a bad Brad Pitt impression from 12 Monkeys. The plot jumps so much from one ripoff to another that I can just see the director thinking, "I can't wait until THIS scene, it'll blow their minds." Why yes, it did blow my mind... I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON! "But it's deep man," says the director, pointing out all the complex metaphors. About as deep as Corky Romano. Ted Raimi's character, apparently commenting on the plot, said it best, "There's too many variables." Yes, Ted, too many indeed.
Skip this one. If you fall into a trap and happen to see it, skip forward to Ted Raimi's scenes. He's the savior to an otherwise convoluted mess of pretentious crap.