nochturne Reviews

Don't Worry Darling (I) (2022)

My girlfriend and I just watched this having heard nothing about it, and ended up really liking it.

[7/10 · 29 July 2023]

I like going in blind to movies and never watch more than a few seconds of a trailer to see if it's a style I'll enjoy. So that's what we did here. And some of the stuff the other reviewers are complaining about, such as it feeling off etc, are actually well crafted parts of the plot. It's supposed to feel like that. You're supposed to wonder how in the world this is set when it's set because it sure doesn't feel like it. There are many more subtle things as well that make sense once the plot is revealed. Oversll, it wasn't a masterpiece but that's not what we were expecting! It was the sweet spot for B movies, which is between 6 and 7 on IMDb and we really enjoyed it. Give it a chance!

Parallel (II) (2018)

Not a bad movie, I never got bored!

[7/10 · 30 May 2022]

Ok so I was expecting (and looking forward to!) a B grade movie but this was actually better than I expected! It kept me hooked, easily. The sanctimonious character was tedious and I would up rooting for the "bad" guy because overall the world would have been a better place under his vision. But as a movie it was very watchable!

5 Galaxies (2019)

The good reviews here are fake.

[1/10 · 8 May 2022]

If you want to see real reviews for this, go look up AI tales which is what this was originally called. None of these stories go anywhere, and every single one of them stops right when you would actually want it to start. The last one especially was honestly the worst acting and writing I have just about ever experienced in all my years. And if you check my profile I've been here a really really long time. Just skip it.

Man of Steel (2013)

It took me three tries to watch it. I fell asleep the first two times.

[3/10 · 29 November 2020]

This seems to be a very polarizing movie. I watched it a couple of years ago but still remember how many times it took to get all the way through it. Also this was my first real experience with Cavill, who isn't an actor so much as he is a cardboard cutout with one expression he has mastered and uses in every scene of every movie he's in. Skip it.

Superintelligence (2020)

This movie is hilarious the whole way through! it's not Gladiator so I don't know what people are expecting.

[8/10 · 29 November 2020]

I almost think people are hating on this movie because they don't like the main actress, and if that's true then don't watch it. But the movie is so entertaining, her character is likeable, and the movie even has some poignant parts as well. I am telling my friends to watch it, and I'm telling you to as well, if you want a good laugh. Enjoy it!

Edit: after reading the bad reviews I can see what happened. Person who hates the genre and main actor watches a bit of it before it gets really good and gives it a 1. If you hate the genre and actor then why would you even watch it? I don't watch movies I know I will hate. Maybe someone else in their family wanted to watch it and they couldn't leave the room? It's a mystery to me.

Superintelligence (2020)

Look at my profile. I've been on imdb for 18 years. Real review here: This movie is hilarious, watch it!!

[8/10 · 27 November 2020]

I do not at all understand the hate for this movie. It's funny in absolutely every scene. What did you guys think you were going to be watching, gladiator? Promise, you will laugh a ton during this. Tons of jokes move quickly, maybe these people weren't catching them all. But I did and highly recommend watching with someone you love to laugh with!

McMillions (2020)

How 2 families team up to rob America.

[7/10 · 5 September 2020]

Great documentary on how two families from very different backgrounds end up working together to pull off one of the greatest frauds in American history. My only critique is that they took way too many people at their word. I don't believe the Italian brother's story for one moment but they never question it. Otherwise well worth a watch!!

Time Trap (2017)

Not sure how this could get low ratings unless you were expecting a blockbuster level movie.

[8/10 · 23 August 2019]

This was fantastic and riveting. It's not a blockbuster with a 30 million dollar budget and STILL managed to have amazing effects. I kept hoping it wouldn't end! Definitely check it out if you love sci-fi.

Another Life (2019–2021)

Good lord Almighty these reviews are all correct

[1/10 · 27 July 2019]

What a waste! This had a great sci-fi premise, absolutely DESTROYED by the most "woke" and apparently 22 year old casting director and writers of all time who have only ever watched reality TV and don't have a clue about the personality types that are actually involved in either science, engineering, or piloting. It's just SO BAD. I don't have anything against each character individually if they were just in the show Big Brother or something. But these unintelligent whiny children with zero life experience or maturity do not belong in sci-fi or anything at all beyond maybe an old Navy ad. Wow. Just fire everyone involved and never hire them again. Especially the writers, casting director and whoever approved this.

UFO (2018)

This movie was really good! if you're into intellectual sci-fi don't skip it.

[8/10 · 9 July 2019]

No spoilers here, but this movie had me from the opening minutes. I have actual ADHD so that's saying a lot. I also found myself relating really well to the main character. Much like him, people who are intelligent and also have ADHD actually have an ability to hyperfocus on one thing to the detriment of all else. He was very relatable and so were his friends in that their reactions were genuine and not over dramatized. In short, it's a quite believable film from the standpoint of human interaction.

The math is also great fun, and I know nothing about math. If I did maybe I wouldn't enjoy it as much, but I do love puzzles and brain teasers and this film presented one part excellence. I watched it by myslef so no pressure to make sure anyone but me was entertained, but I certainly was. I would watch it if you're a fan of puzzles, sci-fi, and perseverance.

Midnight Special (2016)

Michael Shannon ruined every scene he was in

[3/10 · 13 January 2017]

I wanted to like this movie. I kept thinking I love this genre and there are some gorgeous shots, what's wrong? And figured it out. Shannon thinks he can get by with the dark and moosy thing, never talking. But he's wrong. His face is anxiety producing. His insecurity seeps through everything he does. He's an abysmal actor who relies on dark and moody. Just skip it and anything he is is. OK I need more text. The guy who played sevier was amazing. A total scene stealer. The state trooper friend was imminently likable. Kirsten dunst was as always brilliant. But forget ever watching boring insecure face act again.

The Leftovers (2014–2017)

EDITED: Terrible writing filled with clichés- (9/4/14- See edit below)

[7/10 · 3 July 2014]

Not only is the writing terrible (seems like it was written by a college film crew) but you are left literally caring about none of the characters. People who love this must not know bad writing when they hear it. Or see it- in the cheesiest most overused gesture ever, a man pats the side of the truck as he lets the truck pass a gate. Gah! And really? We are supposed to believe that these kids go to Eyes Wide Shut high school of debauchery? So gratuitous and unrealistic. Oh. And Liv Tyler, the high school girl, and the mom have the same bland expressions the whole episode. That isn't deep, it's boring. They tried and are fine actors,but the direction is killing their characters...but the writing. There is an exchange by the pool between a boy and his crush. He gives her gummi bears, then says something only moderately funny and she chokes a little. He says, "ha ha don't eat them all at once!" Who wrote this, college freshmen? They have no ear for dialogue. Only an ear for what they think looks/ sounds cool. And the writing is clearly unintelligent as well. I was REALLY excited to see this. What a let down.

Edit- after giving this show a few more weeks, I'm sucked in. I still don't think it's a masterpiece or anything, but I find myself looking forward to it. Pretty sure I'll see this one out to the bitter end!

Dark Tide (2012)

This movie is actually quite good if you throw away your preconceived notions.

[6/10 · 29 March 2012]

The reviews who say that this movie is bad, boring, and the characters are unlikeable simply expect a different kind of movie and have forgotten the joy in a drama with thrilling elements.

This is not "Mission Impossible: Panties in a Twist" or whatever the latest incarnation is. (And I do enjoy those!) This movie is is a character study, an abundance of beautiful cinematography, and a shark chasing thriller all in one. There is a sense of realism, especially with the interactions between the characters, who react in line with their own backstories- characters who are simultaneously heroic, anti-heroic, brilliant, and ridiculously self absorbed and stupid.

Additionally, Dark Tide perfectly captured the sense of sheer peace and quiet that consumes you once your head is below the waves in the open ocean. I've been scuba diving all over the world, and driven a boat like in this movie. The movie captured the sense of reverence in the water and for the water, and took me far away to reefs of my own past.

Is it thrilling? Absolutely- the action scenes were tense, and you felt the weight of the sharks gliding silently just inches away. Is it slower? I was never bored. I enjoyed the characters, flaws and all. In the end, if anything, I wanted more closure and final introspection. But that is the only thing I found lacking. If you remotely like the ocean and treat it as a thriller with a slower burn, you will enjoy the movie.

6 1/2 stars.

The Cave (2005)

Not that bad, really.

[6/10 · 27 August 2005]

This movie is far better than, say, Anaconda 2, although it shares some crew, I believe. If you don't expect a masterpiece, but a fun entertaining flick, that's exactly what you will get. Of course it isn't breaking any ground, but the characters' situation is only implausible occasionally (as opposed to XXX State of the Union, without two back to back minutes of realistic action). I actually liked the characters and thought that they seemed realistically motivated. I would be proud to go diving with these guys any day (most of them, anyway). Plus the cave is labyrinthine and interesting. If you are the person who has to see what lays over the next hill or around the next corner, you may like this movie.

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)

Hilarious!!!!

[10/10 · 27 June 2003]

This movie was great fun! From the opening scenes where the angels appear to rescue a man from what appears to be Jabba the Hut's palace to watching the angels strip to the Pink Panther theme- ok, they didn't really strip, just dance- this is one of the funnier movies I have seen in a while. Honestly, having just seen the Matrix sequel and the Hulk, I have to say that while the action in Angels II is completely unrealistic, the visual effects were by far more convincing, realistic *looking* (although physically impossible) and *entertaining*. No, really, where Neo looked like gumby during his scenes, the angels look amazing. And of course half the time you will lean over to your friend and say "yeah, right!". But you'll be so busy laughing you won't really mind. I like it when people don't take themselves too seriously. This movie is a great example of a fun movie. Definately one to go see in the theater. Enjoy!

Liberty Stands Still (2002)

I hate fake reviews

[8/10 · 18 May 2003]

You can always tell who gives fake reviews around here. First, look at the reviewer's location. For some reason fake reviewers love to place themselves somewhere in California. Secondly, if it sounds like a commercial for the film, it probably is. Thirdly, click on the reviewer's name and see if they have actually reviewed anything else. If they have not, it is likely that they just registered to give props to one of their buds. So, just letting you know that you can go ahead and disregard the reviews by laresistenz and rapierdagger. Now, on to the film: The film did have some funny moments toward the beginning. I loved it when Liberty gets naked to draw attention to herself, but when the cop asks her why, she says "it's hot." There was another funny moment too but I can't remember what it was. However, the director created this film to make us think, and in that, it failed miserably. I would love to go back to medieval times and see a farm cart with a bumper sticker on it that says, "Swords don't kill people, people kill people". In fact, if you are in favor of gun control, this movie will probably do more to swing you against it. Why is this? Well, hello, screenwriter: Most people do not want to associate themselves politically with complete lunatics with guns! Therefore, the very premise of the movie-, which is vehemently anti-gun, actually succeeds in doing the opposite of what it intended. In other words, I ended up feeling sorry for the gun company lady and can't stand Joe/Alex, the crazy gun-hating guy. The film did have a lot of dialogue, which is refreshing if you are into that sort of thing, and I really like Fiorentino. Other than that, though, the political message is so dully and unintelligently delivered that it doesn't go beyond a high school class discussion, so therefore could only provoke intelligent debate with the equivalent of high-schoolers. Not thought provoking at all, at least concerning gun control. However, you will do a lot of thinking as to whether or not all the director's movies are so politically slanted, and if they are, you have to wonder how long they are going to survive in the entertainment industry.

Wendigo (2001)

Awful.

[1/10 · 2 January 2003]

This movie is truly awful. Why? Well, apparently, the moviemakers have no idea of what actually makes for a thrilling suspenseful movie. This is bad, because it appears that is what they have attemped to make. They also have a pretty dismal feel for even basic dialogue. Not only that, but the "parents" in this movie are very bad parents who cuss up a storm in front of their kid, then start to get _on_top of each other right in front of him. Poor kid. And the "Wendigo" looked about as scary as a man in a deer suit. Which is exactly what it was. Also, all the shots that I guess were supposed to be neato because they were from the kid's perspective were in fact just annoying, predictable, and dull. I have said it before, and I will say it again- moviemakers who try to be different _just_for_the sake_of_being_different 9 times out of 10 end up making a really bad movie. Which is exactly what happened here. I felt awful, because Looking at the back of the movie, I thought it was going to be an exciting thriller, and rented it for me, a friend, and my sister. So I ended up subjecting three people to this crap. Run away from this movie!

Road Scholar (1993)

Whatever....

[1/10 · 13 October 2002]

Hmmm...Well, I watched this movie for extra credit in a lit class. I wanted to give it a chance. Unfortunately, the more days that have passed since I saw Road Scholar, the more I have grown to detest it. Mr. Codrescu himself was at the screening, but even his presence could not change my current feelings toward this movie. Allow me to start by saying that this movie is essentially Mr. Codrescu's journey across America in a quest to find the weirdest people he can put a camera on, all the while comparing absolutely everything to how life was for him in his home country. I suppose this movie could be called a documentary, if it was about anything worth documenting. At any rate, Mr. Codrescu is an IMMIGRANT- I have written this in all caps for it is something that he desperately wants us all to know, for in the movie his every last breath is spent telling us that he's an immigrant, and boy, life sure was hard back home. On second thought, his every breath is not spent telling us that he is an immigrant. In between this he spends his time making fun of some really bizarre and eccentric people in his little trip cross county in his convertible. He is about as subtle as a tractor trailer. I think what bothered me the most about this is not just the fact that he made a movie on what he considered to be his "witty" observations on the fringe folks in our fine land, but that it was just too easy. He actually had crews go about & search out the absolute weirdest people they could find for him to go and "interview". Now, if his visits had been spontaneous ones with random people he met, & he still managed to make the exchange witty & humorous, even if he was still making fun of them, that would have been one thing. But the way he did it was like taking candy from babies. I honestly could find more interesting people in my own hometown. There are certain people who are witty, humorous, and can even make fun of others and still be well liked. Lewis Grizzard comes to mind. Mr. Codrescu, on the other hand, is someone who puts way too much stock in his own words. I suppose his idea of Heaven is being locked in a room with recordings of his own voice. At any rate, this movie in no way deserves anything above a 4. Why? It was trying so hard to be witty and different that the cardboard cutouts of the same ol' tricks of nonconformity sucked all the originality out of the film. If you are unfortunate enough to obtain a copy of this, please mail it to Mr. Codrescu right away. By the way, I really like my lit teacher, even if she did suggest seeing this! :)

Enigma (2001)

Brilliant Film

[10/10 · 29 September 2002]

How anyone could give this less than a 9 is beyond me. This film is chock full of mystery, intrigue, beautiful cinematography, and superb acting. I was thoroughly enthralled. This is not "Gosford Park" boring, and it's far better done than "U571", even though I liked that one. The only better WWII movie is, in my opinion, "Das Boot". "Enigma" is highly recommended. A 10 out of 10 through and through.

Jeremiah (2002–2004)

Amazing Show...

[28 July 2002]

This show is really quite well done; every episode seems to fly by and leave you anticipating the next. L Perry & MJ Warner are a superb duo in this exciting post-apocalyptic tale. The show is done in such a way that the aftermath of the "Big Death" (a disease that was fatal to all those past puberty) seems plausible, even if the Big Death does not. If you have not watched this show, I highly recommend giving it a shot. You will not likely be disappointed.