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Reviews
The Voyage of the Mimi (1984)
The Fantastic Voyage
This movie is a total classic. Few other movies combine education, entertainment, dramatic tension, and wonderful highs as well as this work.
Many will want to watch this movie because it stars a young Ben Affleck (that is, until they see Gigli, so I understand). And Ben is terrific as the young CT Granville. When he's searching around the boat for his Grandfather ("Granpa") we feel his angst. However, the most memorable characters are Artie, the "urban" (re: Black) computer expert, and Rachel, the troubled teen. They are the definite stars, along with the deaf girl who eats a lot of peanut butter.
This movie is educational in both its deep exploration of the topic of marine biology, and also as a piece of social commentary. Take for example the scene when Artie is saying good-bye to his family. Artie leaves without his behemothic boom box because he arrives an hour late, (Artie being an hour late is an obvious allusion to the racial tensions of the Reagan era), a scene that is clearly a metaphor for African American youth abandoning their cultural heritage in order to pursue their professional ambitions. However, Artie's little brother, the symbol of his enlightened new generation, portrayed by a young Denzel Washington look-alike, rejects Artie's Faustian choice and exclaims "Hey Artie, you forgot your radio!" Artie returns to the car, grabs his radio/soul, and then is off to adventure on the high seas.
This movie is very hard to find, so I am not very comfortable recommending it to others. Perhaps it may be found in your local library or elementary school. If you can find it, watch at least the first episode, as it worthwhile to see a young Ben Affleck and know that 20 years later, that little kid is getting it on with J.Lo.
From Justin to Kelly (2003)
A Romantic Comedy that is neither romantic nor funny
"From Justin to Kelly" is present day romantic comedy in the mode of the great Rock Hudson - Doris Day films. And not just because Justin is a closet homosexual. but mostly because of that.
Honestly, this movie is really bad. How bad? Not even Randy, Simon, or Paula decided to make a cameo, and we've all seen their commercials.
The big question is, do Justin and Kelly end up together? To answer, did Reuben eat Clay?
Kelly is not a very good actress, but Justin is just painful!! Honestly, I've seen better acting in homemade pornos. I was thinking midway through the movie that this seemed like a really long episode of Saved By the Bell, only without Screech. When you start missing Screech, you know you have hit rock bottom. But guy who played Mr. Beldening wasn't so bad. I don't know why he can't find work. At the very least he should be in those 10-10-220 commercials with Alf. But I digress.
Do I recommend this film? Yes. It is campy and it is not good, but it is a great way to spend an hour and half and have a good laugh at the expense of our American Idols. And this movie is no worse than Glitter (Mariah Carey), Who's That Girl (or anything starring Madonna), Crossroads (Britney), The Bodyguard (Whitney), or any other vanity film. See it with someone you love, or at least someone who will still respect you in the morning.
Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)
This is the worst movie ever!!!!
At first I did not think myself qualified to review the film Kung Pow, since I did only see the first 25 minutes of it. However, after some reflection, I realized that no sane human being would be able to endure any more than that so I figured I might as well. This is the perfect film to take your special lady friend when you are ready go to "the next level." If she is willing to talk to you after seeing this film then it is true love. Hold on to her!!!!
What I found most disturbing was not the poor acting, the stupid voices, the utter lack of anything remotely funny, or even the computer animated cow (that's right, I said computer animated cow). What is most disturbing is that the producers of this film, 20th Century Fox, actually turned down other films to make this. Someone read this script and were like "it's go time!" (at least that's what I like to believe Hollywood execs say).
If you are considering renting this movie I would strongly urge against it.