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Reviews
Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2007)
Completely pointless, mindless, and boring
We rented this movie cheaply through Redbox and I'm glad it's only a dollar a day so I didn't waste my money. What more can I say except that I almost fell asleep several times while watching this movie? It had no plot and the musical numbers were terrible. It even stunk as a family movie with sexual innuendo and just overall crudeness. I didn't laugh even once throughout the whole movie. It wasn't very original and the same plot devices were used over and over ad nauseum.
When we watch a movie as a family, we try to decide whether the rental would be a future "buyer" or not. This was voted hands down as NOT a "buyer".
Maybe the video game this movie is based on is good -- I've never played it -- but this movie goes down as one of the top 10 worst family movies ever and definitely the worst Christmas movie I've ever seen!
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)
Just awful
I hate those movies that you watch for an hour and still have no clue what's going on. Such was the case with this movie. The dialogue was so soft that it was little over mumbling much of the time. The plot twisted and turned so much that I couldn't make heads or tails of what was going on. After an hour, I turned the movie off in frustration. Other than them being a British ship fighting the French, I never understood anything more of the movie. Perhaps more narration would have helped. As it was, I was too frustrated to watch the movie further. The movie "Dune" is still my #1 worst movie I've ever watched, but "Master and Commander" is a very close #2.
The Haunting of Morella (1990)
Worst movie I've ever seen
On my list of top ten worst movies of all time, it's debatable between Superman III and The Haunting of Morella, but I'd put this as #1 worst. Stupid movie. Not only morally bankrupt, but from what I have understood, bore no resemblance whatsoever to the Edgar Allen Poe story. They seemed to keep adding character after character to the point where it became difficult to keep all of the characters straight. I went with a group of friends, and we resoundingly agreed that this one stunk. The plot was so convoluted that I couldn't even follow what exactly was going on half the time. This seemed like a bad B movie that they stuck Edgar Allen Poe's name on to give it some clout, but Poe would probably turn over in his grave on this one.