stan-czerwien Reviews

Amy's Orgasm (2001)

A miserable exercise of moronic psychology

[1/10 · 14 February 2005]

I could go on and on about this waste of time - but here's the abbreviated version: The writing is a pseudo-intellectual blend of female hormones and half baked feelings. It is presented as somehow being a thought-out psychology of femaledom, but almost immediately morphs into female-dumb. I still have no idea as to why there were at least three or four totally gratuitous "Hey I'm Jewish!" references made by the lead character in this bomb (not to mention totally wearing out the viewer with "cellulite" references throughout this disaster), they had absolutely nothing to do with anything - they weren't even comedic.

Don't let the premise of this movie and its flimsy dime store psychology be the only thing that causes you to pass it on the rental shelves - by no means. The actress who played the lead (she also wrote, directed and produced the movie as well) is sickening in her constant mugging for the camera. This movie is one of the clearest example of somebody having access to the means of making a movie, the knowledge of how to make a movie, the money to make a movie - and yet none of the talent to make a movie. I hate to make accusations because I know very little if anything about this actress, but I get the sneaking suspicion she really thinks she's something special.

It offends men, Jewish people, Catholics, and - I'm certain - most women with an ounce of brains. But it doesn't offend in a "man I'm really going to challenge your mores and thought processes", no it just flat out offends with its misled stupidity.

There.........now mug for the camera.........mug again.........act cutesy...........mug...........CUT!

Big Fish (2003)

One of the Best I've Ever Seen

[8/10 · 12 January 2004]

This is an incredible piece of film making. The story, the casting, the acting - EVERYTHING - is exactly as it should be. Every scene exists to support the story line, and nothing even remotely gratuitous manifests itself.

Congratulations to all involved in this great film for giving us a unique story, and presenting it in a perfect manner. A ten out of ten.

A Mighty Wind (2003)

Very Funny Stuff

[8/10 · 21 April 2003]

I don't know how these guys keep doing it - but they do keep doing it. While being every bit as good as Christopher Guest's other efforts, this movie also affords us a bit of touching character development. The benchmark of any good movie is the ability to evoke emotion from the audience without being cheaply exploitative, and A Mighty Wind doesn't fail to deliver.

Also a personal aside - Fred Williard's first scene in this movie is the stuff of greatness.

The Red Violin (1998)

Good - but could have been much better.

[7/10 · 10 March 2003]

A very good idea, and, for the most part, a very good movie - but something about the end dampens my enthusiasm. From the beginning we are introduced to various characters (in a well developed and rather intimate fashion), and all while this is going on I kept asking myself "How is this going to end?". Well I'm sorry to say it ends in a rather disappointing fashion (at least it did for me). The end does not do justice to everything which had preceded it and that is a shame.

I don't want to spoil the movie for anybody so I won't get specific as to why I was so disappointed in the ending, but I am curious to see what others thought.

Dark Star (1974)

Off the beaten path, and very funny.

[8/10 · 18 November 2002]

I first rented this movie after viewing "The Thing" expecting to see another sci-fi horror picture - was I ever wrong.

This movie was made on a shoe string budget, but is very well written and shows the now obvious potential of both Carpenter and O'Bannon.

8 out of 10

My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)

A Breath of Fresh Air

[7/10 · 23 October 2002]

Let me get my only criticism out of the way first. I would have rated this movie higher if Ian had even feigned a little anxiety over Toula's family steamrolling his wedding and life. He didn't - he was far too malleable to be believed.

That being said - there is a lot to like about this movie because it is NOT conventional Hollywood fare. Toula is a very pretty woman, but not your typical Hollywood 96 lb. beauty queen. The movie has its fun with Greek culture and family, but also underscores its importance. The movie conveys a strong sense of feminism - but not the man-hating feminism that is so prevalent in certain women's rights groups that use acronyms that rhyme with COW or PLOW.

I have known many a first and second generation Greek in my life, and this movie ABSOLUTELY NAILS THE DYNAMIC of their lives. It's a fun movie, and it contains important social commentary.

Conspiracy Theory (1997)

An All Around Annoying Experience

[4/10 · 22 October 2002]

I don't exactly know what it is about this movie that makes me dislike it so, but I do so dislike it.

It could possibly be Julia Roberts. I have never been a big fan of anything of hers (with the exception of Mystic Pizza). She pounds the audience over the head with smarmy performance after smarmy performance. To see her, in this day and age, considered as a great actress is truly a travesty. Davis, Hepburn, Streep - those are great actresses - Julia Roberts is just smarmy.

The usually reliable Mel Gibson is also a big disappointment in this one. His character - which is supposed to evoke some sort of sympathetic response from the audience - evokes only contempt. But at least he's not smarmy.

The plot is a fairly predictable sort, with predictable twists, predictable turns, and an ending you can see coming a mile away.

There......now I feel better.

My Man Godfrey (1936)

A 1930's Classic

[8/10 · 22 October 2002]

This is one of those movies that you could watch over and over.

William Powell (always great) and Carole Lombard (likewise) are magical in this depression era gem. The situations, the characters, and even the protege are definitely worth watching. I highly recommend.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977)

The Great One saves this movie.

[5/10 · 24 September 2002]

If not for the great Jackie Gleason and his portrayal of Buford T. Justice, this movie would really stink. The first thing that comes to mind while watching this movie is its editing. What were they thinking in the cutting room on this one? Continuity errors are so incredibly obvious that some of my kids were even able to pick out discrepancies. Doors are open, then closed, then reopened and knocked off - gun belts are on, then off, then on again - I have to admit, that as the plot wears to a thinner and thinner gruel one starts devoting his attention toward picking off errors within this one. Also - in the latter third of the movie - we are forced to suffer through the always annoying "CB Radio User/Truck Driver Brotherhood" effect.

All that being said, Jackie Gleason's portrayal of a Texas sheriff is worth the price of a rental, but even that starts getting a bit old by the time we wrap it up in this one.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

Why aren't there more movies like this?

[7/10 · 18 September 2002]

This one has it all. Comedy, horror, suspense and John Vernon. In this sad world of motion pictures based upon television series (Beverly Hillbillies, the Flintstones et al ad naseum) the originality of this one rings like a bell through the night. Not a huge budget I suspect, probably written in a smoke filled basement somewhere - and yet - better than most over produced Hollywood crap. Bravo to all who hand a hand in this one.

A Wedding (1978)

A pointless exercise in dysfunction.

[2/10 · 12 September 2002]

Altman should have hung them up right after making M*A*S*H. This movie is bad. The character development stinks, the plot is incoherent and humor is scarce. Paul Dooley - as always - puts in a great performance which is totally wasted in this scrap heap of a movie. What was Altman even attempting to say in this bowser is beyond me.

Mulholland Drive (2001)

David Lynch's best movie.

[9/10 · 7 September 2002]

I have to admit that I had my doubts when I rented this movie. After seeing it I have to admit that it's one of the best movies I've seen in years.

One has to watch very closely even if they can't figure out what's going on, because almost everything falls into place as the movie closes out. Subtle "reality to fantasy" changes take place at crucial moments to underscore Lynch's story, and if they're missed - so too will be the viewer's realization of them.

Are there a few things left unsettled in my mind at the film's end? Sure - the monster in the alley probably being the most debatable, but all in all this movie pulls together in an incredible fashion. Make sure you have a quiet and undisturbed couple of hours to view this thing, because missing a line or two can make all the difference in the world. But definitely watch it.

Green Acres (1965–1971)

A very funny series.

[6 September 2002]

An indirect spinoff of The Beverly Hillbillies (via Petticoat Junction) - Green Acres proved to be one of the funniest series of the 1960's. Based upon a short lived radio show from years earlier, this show is loaded with classic characters and situations, sometimes drifting off into a Daliesque world of surrealism. Why this show is not available on DVD or even VHS is beyond me. I would certainly buy the entire series run.

M (1931)

A Masterpiece

[10/10 · 5 September 2002]

First off, Fritz Lang is a genius if only for this movie, but couple Metropolis with it and you have two all time greats made by the same guy. He's truly one of the most under-rated talents ever brought forth by the cinema.

Peter Lorre is incredible in a role that might make many people very uncomfortable. This classic is all at once claustrophobic, scary and riveting. The plot - although seemingly obvious at the outset, takes you on a gut wrenching ride. It is one great movie.

Undercover Brother (2002)

A Sleeper.

[7/10 · 30 August 2002]

Rent this movie if for nothing else than to approve of its attack against Political Correctness. The jokes cut both ways in this one, and the movie proves that situations and jokes can be funny even when involving the hyper-sensitive area of race relations. Chris Kattan (sp?) however, continues his streak of unfunny appearances by a "comedian".

In the Army Now (1994)

They Should Study this Movie in College

[1/10 · 30 August 2002]

At what point does a film maker start realizing that he or she is working on a really bad movie? Is it somewhere during the first reading of the script, or is it during the long days of the shoot, or maybe during the last desperate hours in the editing room?

This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and I don't say that endearingly. Really, really bad movies have the ability to be watched in a bemused fashion where one can sit back and wonder aloud exactly what the film maker was trying to say or do, but this movie doesn't even allow the viewer that luxury. It annoys, aggravates and ultimately beats down its audience with ineptitude. A Paulie Shore classic - that's for sure, or should I say that's for Shore - ha - get it Paulie? Shore instead of sure. Oh you do get it?

A League of Their Own (1992)

A Good Idea Gone Bad.

[1/10 · 30 August 2002]

An interesting concept of a movie which deteriorates under bad casting/acting/screen writing. Madonna and O'Donnell are just too annoying to ever really get going with this flick. Other than that - I have no complaints.