joebrian55 Reviews

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (2013)

A toy commercial that SOMEHOW is tolerable

[4/10 · 5 August 2013]

Last night, I watched Equestria Girls... Yeah, yeah, I'm a brony, don't judge me.

On to the review: I don't like the concept because, well, let me put it this way: I enjoy MLP:FiM not only as a good, heartfelt and often humorous cartoon, but as a refreshing escape from reality... which is why I feel humans shouldn't have anything to do this with show.

I understand the concept of "trying to fit in" and "friendship is everywhere", but it could just as easily have been applied in a setting where humans don't exist.

I also feel it's just Hasbro's attempt to cash in on the "high-school-girl" bandwagon for obvious reasons and that the conflict of winning the title at the prom dance... is so tired and cliché that your better off watching a half-baked teen drama from last decade. If you want a good MODERN high school dramedy film, watch Easy A because it has more believable characters and shout-outs to classic films of that type.

Another point that annoys me is Spike as a dog... and on top of that, he STILL loves Rarity (as a human) in the human world... I don't like this because it's more creepy than charming in that it seems to promote bestiality, and for a movie aimed at kids, this is beyond disgraceful.

Which brings me to my next point, the film makes a point of saying that people should judge Twilight Sparkle by what she DOES instead of how she LOOKS, which wouldn't be a bad moral if all but one of the "humans" in this film weren't drawn with a thin physique and the girls wearing short, low-cut clothes. MLP:FiM would never teach kids that body shape and choice of clothes matter, they would teach you what's on the inside does, but this film's attempt at teaching you "it's what's on the inside that counts" is contradictory, to say the least.

On a side note, why are the Cutie Mark Crusaders bumped up to early high school age? On the show, they're like the equivalent of 8-10 year olds, so why are they like 14-15 years old here? Are the people at Hasbro a bunch of pedophiles or something? And unlike the show itself, the use of modern technology and even vague product placement for YouTube will just make it more dated as time goes by... I won't act like the show itself isn't "modern", but it'll be timeless compared to this.

But, to be fair, there WERE some good jokes at some points, the film DOES actually teach you about the true meaning of friendship and unlike the show itself, I actually came close to LIKING a couple of the songs in this film.

For me, the concept didn't work and clearly reeks of focus groups and bias in regards to its target audience. But somehow, some good writing, humour and toe-tapping music left a light at the end of the tunnel. I just don't think modernization is necessary for MLP:FiM, because of the aforementioned "escape from reality" bit. But at least it was better written than "Magical Mystery Cure" (a REAL MLP:FiM travesty).

Granted, it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, but this isn't a film I would've paid $10 for when it was in theatres. I just hope that Hasbro doesn't strike out again... And now, I'll wait patiently for Season 4 this fall.

Top Cat and the Beverly Hills Cats (1988 TV Movie)

Better than the 2011 Top Cat movie, but not much....

[7/10 · 8 July 2013]

It's been nearly a year since I wrote a critique of the 2011 film adaptation of Top Cat. I said it was mediocre but I felt there was SOME respect for the original source material... but I'd have to actually go into detail if I wanted to describe how different it was.

Being made by the makers of the original show, you'd expect it to be SOMEWHAT better than the aforementioned film, but not by much.

To start off, the film had better jokes than the 2011 adaptation. At least they kept the quick and witty dialogue aspect of the original series, and I did find myself laughing far more than the OTHER film.

I said before that the 2011 film's story was passable, but now that I think about it, it was actually not that great. Sure, you can argue that Top Cat had stories that were basically repetitive and predictable, but there was at least SOME charm to it, the 2011 film had barely any of that.

Here, though, the plot is basically a rehash of "The Missing Heir" and if you've seen that episode, you can easily tell how it's going to end. But it's like I just said, the show's episodes were often repetitive and predictable... or as Top Cat put it when trying to get Benny down with a trampoline, "This is getting repetitious." Fortunately, the twist ending in this is different than the one in the episode... *SPOILER ALERT!* The lady who wrote the will was not actually dead! *SPOILER ALERT!* Also, I like Top Cat actually teaching kids good morals in that friendship and making someone happy are more important than money... because it totally fits Top Cat's antihero personality and respect (although not a big facet of his personality) for his friends.

...But here's where I think the flaws REALLY show... For example, the film uses pop culture references of the 1980's (when it came out) such as mentioning of Rambo and Magic Johnson. Actually, this is understandable because 1960's humour obviously would've (and still does) meant nothing to kids of the time period. I just felt that it was out of place, but now it doesn't seem so bad.

And then there's the cat-related jokes... sure Top Cat and his friends are obviously cats, but there were virtually no such jokes on the original show. It's also out of place because the original show treated cats as if they were humans and equal to them, almost to the point of not even acknowledging it, the only such cat joke being T.C. and company crowding Dibble out of his bed in the episode "The Long Hot Winter" giving him little place else to sleep, which is often a complaint among cat owners.

Here, they even ACKNOWLEDGE they are cats by going as far as Benny's riddle of "what has four paws, and a tail, and goes meow?"... I know they ARE cats and I know WHAT cats are and stuff... but if the show could treat them like equals to humans without question, why couldn't this? And then there's Kitty Glitter... a lame pun that you can easily assume might lead to a "saying the name wrong" pun, but fortunately, it's only used once by Brain, because he's already dim-witted and it makes perfect sense. Anyways, I found her annoying because she barely did squat compared to anyone else in the film and she has that annoying voice... and on top of that, she's not really worth much anyway.

Oh yeah, and T.C. and his gang rapping actually got on my nerves. I know I said before that modernizing it for the 80's made more sense and that the show itself is already dated, but they didn't have to do that... I found the rap and accompanying visuals practically hard to stomach because I just cannot see one of my favourite cartoon characters doing that... but the 2011 film adaptation did have cellphones, ticket reservations and rude humour unlike this, so it could've been worse.

However, I find the animation to be a somewhat bigger leap from the show's original animation. Hanna-Barbera cartoons from the studio's early years ARE known for their technique of limited animation and their abstract style, which I find appealing even if it's not as detailed as Disney animation. I feel that both the nostalgia factor and the charm and humour of the cartoons were the REAL light at the end of the tunnel. During the 1980's, their animation looked less like it was done in-house on a shoestring budget and more like it was outsourced to parts of Asia and done with more talented animators.

Here, I like the animation because it is fluid and colourful, and clearly showed more movement and personality than in the original, although it is forgivable. Being a TV movie, the animation quality is ALSO excusable.

So... all its flaws aside, it's not a very bad Top Cat film, but not a very good one either, so-so at best, but it's still better than the other Top Cat film by a long shot.

The Lion King (1994)

Not Disney's best movie, I ought to tell you

[6/10 · 22 December 2012]

So I didn't give this movie 10 stars, are you fans all mad at me? Anyway, this movie is often a fan favourite of many of my friends. Ever since one of my classmates in English class began singing Hakuna Matata, often to annoy me, I have been analyzing this movie and trying hard not to make any fan of this movie mad at me.

But I'm getting sidetracked. While the animation (and artwork in general) is astounding and clearly had a lot of effort put in, I find that the story seems to have not as much effort put in.

Based on the Shakespeare play Hamlet (and Kimba the White Lion, but I'll get to that later), this film revolves around a lion who, after losing his father to his envious uncle Scar, is convinced to remember his past and that HE should rightfully claim the throne. I like the message that the past can hurt and you can run from it or learn from it, but I feel a lot doesn't work for me.

For example, the plot (as I mentioned before) is derived from two great works of fiction. It wouldn't bother me as much if the end credits said "Based on Hamlet by William Shakespeare and Kimba the White Lion by Osamu Tezuka" or if Disney didn't tout it as an original story.

Then there's one of my biggest issues with this movie, this movie doesn't know if it wants to be for younger children (3-6) or older children (7-12). While it does deal with mature subjects such as the death of a loved one, responsibility, handling guilt etc, there's too much other stuff in this movie that's immature.

It goes without saying that when a protagonist experiences a tragic turn of events, the first thing we want is something that will cheer us up afterwards... for many, Hakuna Matata comes to mind, but... for me, I think there could have been a better way of accomplishing that.

Speaking of which, I find only three of the songs from this movie worth listening to, Circle of Life (kudos to Hans Zimmer), Be Prepared (who doesn't admire a song as awesome as this?) and the end credits version of Can You Feel the Love Tonight? (Gotta listen to more Elton John, though). As you might have guessed, Hakuna Matata, while it may have appealed to me some 6-7 years earlier, is now the song I hate the most from this movie. It just blows my mind that a movie like this goes from a lion cub witnessing the murder of his father by a jealous uncle to one of the most annoying and whimsical songs I have ever heard as well as belching and flatulence jokes... see what I mean when I say it's not very clear on the audience it wants to appeal to? I am in disbelief that the guy who wrote songs for Princess Diana's funeral actually wrote a song as annoying as that.

Also, there are scenes in this movie that are too intense for younger children, such as the death of Mufasa, the hyena chasing Simba and Nala, Simba and Nala (grown up, and before they recognize each other) fighting and the climax. I would strongly recommend waiting until your kids are 6 or 7 years old, or if they understand how hard it is to handle the death of a loved one.

But what I really like about this movie is the father-and-son connection between Simba and Mufasa, which is one of the reasons why you're supposed to find it sad when Mufasa dies, just like why we're supposed to sympathize with Bambi when his mother dies. Whenever you watch Mufasa and Simba conversing happily, you just know there's a connection between the two.

Overall, this movie is not bad, but not everything is flawless, and this is no exception. For any fan seething with anger at this review, I see some good stuff in this movie!

Pocahontas (I) (1995)

Probably the worst Disney movie of the 1990's

[5/10 · 22 December 2012]

I'll be honest, Pocahontas is the Disney movie of the 90's that appeals to me the least.

For nearly a year, I've heard some negative statements about the movie from a couple of the teachers at my high school (they both teach history, keep in mind).

In the past, Disney has been known for their adaptations of classic literature... but a historical figure was obviously not the best choice for their next movie after the immense success of The Lion King, and it shows.

While the artwork is good, the music is good and such, the story is very weak and predictable. Note that this sort of plot has been used by various movies, including Avatar and Dances with Wolves. And on top of that, this film is a grossly inaccurate representation of Native American history, with the conflict between the British and Natives toned down to be little more than a simple fight between two sides that almost never happens thanks to Pocahontas saving John Smith. However, I do give the movie credit for casting First Nations actors to voice the Natives, such as the late Russell Means as Chief Powhatan and Gordon Tootoosis as Kekata.

Sure the backgrounds and character designs for the humans are realistic and look great, but the story is also important for an animated movie, and in the case of a movie based on history or culture, historical and cultural accuracy.

Fortunately, the film has a good message, "Everyone is different and people are people no matter how they look", but Disney has not always been good at teaching that to children, like The Fox and the Hound, which had a good message but in this case, it was not clear on target audience. On top of that, there should be better ways to teach children that it's OK to be different.

So really, I don't know whether to recommend it or not. Maybe it would be best to watch it with children and explain some things about it later so that children aren't mislead by this movie.

Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

A great movie... with great jokes...

[10/10 · 17 November 2012]

Earlier today, I saw this movie at my local movie theatre and all throughout, I was entertained.

I like the film's idea of what video game characters do when the arcade closes down, which reminds one of the concept of Toy Story. Needless to say, Disney and Pixar (in spite of the former's flaws) have managed to answer some questions like this very well. Unlike Over the Hedge, this film has actual reasons to sympathize with the main character by giving the audience legitimately good reasons to understand him.

I normally do not see modern computer-animated movies at a theatre, mainly because I feel that a lot of "modern" children's movies (with some exceptions) often have loads of innuendo and toilet humour, but this one I had anticipated ever since I saw the trailer. I am a huge fan of Disney and Pixar movies, but a lot of DreamWorks films (except Shrek 1, 2, Bee Movie, Monsters vs. Aliens, Prince of Egypt and The Road to El Dorado - the latter in 2D animation) I find intolerable The movie has its share of funny moments and the little kids sitting behind my almost 21-year-old brother, my 14-year-old sister and I didn't seem too disappointed. Luckily, it was more witty dialogue and visual jokes than toilet humour (which is strictly verbal and is limited to a couple scenes) Unfortunately, I cannot go into detail because then I might spoil the movie for whoever is reading this. I warn you that a lot of it won't really make sense unless you play a lot of video games (or just know the popular ones very well).

Shiloh (1996)

Good movie, but if you like the novel, your opinions may vary

[8/10 · 10 November 2012]

To begin, Shiloh is a very well-written novel. It deals with a boy who does what he believes is right in order to save a runaway dog from its abusive owner. It also deals with honesty, loyalty, friendship and standing up for what one feels is right.

The movie, while a lot is changed, still worked for me. Despite some awkward editing (some shots last for about a second before cutting to another, but I'm sure I'll see worse), the movie was still good for me. Sure, they made "finally getting the dog from Judd Travers" much harder than in the novel.

As many put it, even though Judd Travers is a very cruel character, he states that he had been abused by his father during his childhood and never understood or got sympathy and anyone with a dark past can relate to him (not me, but I am against child abuse so I understand).

Another good point is the acting, Blake Heron acts like he cares about the dog, Scott Wilson really puts effort into acting like a man who never understood sympathy, kindness, love and nurturing and Rod Steiger's performance as Doc Wallace is also well-done, especially during the scene where he encourages Marty to stand up for what's right by recounting a memory from the past.

I bought this film and Shiloh Season from a secondhand store, but I have yet to read the second novel and watch the second film, so I'll see how they are.

I know this film is not 100% true to the original novel, but I have heard of worse book-to-movie adaptations. As someone who is against animal cruelty, I loved this movie and the novel to the point where I recommend giving both a try.

Ringing Bell (1978)

One of the best anime films I have ever seen

[10/10 · 31 July 2012]

As I mentioned in my review of "Tottoi", there are few non- Ghibli anime films I know of that actually have useful messages, a memorable story and whatnot rather than mecha battles and fanservice.

Fortunately, this obscure Sanrio production is one of these "serious" anime films I know of. Though it is quite violent for a children's movie, it does what it was made to do and compels the viewer(s) to keep watching for its nigh unto 50 minute running time.

While a viewing of this movie by any children you know or have may require you to watch it with them, this movie teaches them many a useful topic:

The death of a loved one, the laws of nature, revenge, violence etc.

Thanks to its flawless storytelling and clear-as-a-bell lesson teaching (no pun intended), we learn that the Wolf King does not kill because he loves to, he does it because he follows the laws of nature, which one realizes when he says "In order for some to live, others must die."

And one must remember the ending, where one of the final lessons is that revenge is not the right way to solve problems.

So if you ever want to show this to your kids, watch it with them and have a discussion afterwards about the film's messages. Not only can they understand the important topics of nature and the life cycle this way, but it can help them develop critical thinking.

NOTE: The Wolf King says "Hell" in one scene to describe life, so you might want to tell your children (unless they already know) that it is not an appropriate word for them to use.

Secret of the Seal (1992)

Another childhood favourite that never gets old

[9/10 · 30 July 2012]

I know I should give this a 10/10, but I grew up with an English dub with at most one or two flaws.

Since I was little, this has always has been one of my favourite movies. Although I was mostly into Disney, and animation in general, this was perhaps my first foray into the wonderful world of anime.

I like this movie because it has a "respect the environment and its animals" message, very good artwork, an suspenseful good vs. evil battle etc.

This anime film is more sophisticated than most anime films and shows that are popular these days (i.e. Ranma ½, Naruto, Bleach etc.), and I find there are very few anime films I know of that do the job right, outside of Studio Ghibli films.

The English dub, released by Just for Kids, is the version I grew up with, of course, but I find there's one thing wrong with it. Virtually every scene in that dub ends with a "we'll be back" bumper repeating footage of the previous scene and adding a narration, and I find that mildly annoying, but the rest of the movie is OK and to be fair, the voice acting is not as bad as a lot of dubbed anime shows/films.

Plus, the end of the VHS, my copy at least, is loaded with dodgy and annoying previews hosted by an obnoxious teen named "Noel". But it doesn't ruin the movie for me.

...It's sad that this movie has gone into obscurity, and if I want to see this film any more times, I'll have to burn my VHS copy onto a DVD. If you happen to have a copy of this movie, I highly recommend it for children, as this movie is not anywhere as mean-spirited, rude and obnoxious as some children's movies are these days, but some of it may be distressing to younger viewers.

Top Cat (2011)

... Good? ...Bad? ...Mediocre? ...What do I call it!?

[5/10 · 24 July 2012]

I just saw this movie online and, seeing how it would likely be my only opportunity to see how bad this is movie is, I actually spent an hour and a half watching this.

To begin, I think I wasted an hour and a half on worse things than this. Granted, I don't like Flash animation that's not made for the Internet.

I did not grow up with Top Cat as a kid, but I did watch the original cartoon for a little over a year and found it funny. I love some Hanna-Barbera classics, like Flintstones, Dexter's Lab, Jetsons, Top Cat and I also like me some Tom and Jerry cartoons.

Sadly, this is barely anywhere near the same charm the original show had. I am more tolerant of bad puns than a lot of people I know, I'm sure, but I barely giggled in a few scenes. Sure, some slapstick humour and a few of the cat puns were funny, but I am quite outraged the movie includes rude humour that was obviously not present on the show.

I don't expect animation and cinema from Latin America to be incredibly super-duper high quality, but I certainly don't expect Latino screenwriters to stoop as low as Hollywood writers. Never in any episode of Top Cat was there verbal toilet humour, ouch-in-the-groin jokes , disgustingly hideous close-ups etc. Plus, I could've sworn that when he was kissed by Trixie (did I mention there was one weak joke too many whenever they got romantic?), he put his folded hands on his groin... did anybody else think it looked like that? But the story itself is not unbearable in my opinion. Sure, it's an extended Top Cat episode, but I have seen worse kids' movies attempting to have a good story, take Over the Hedge for example. I'll give them effort for attempting to introduce Top Cat to a newer generation, but I think modern-day references (cell phones, Times Square looking like it currently does etc.) are really out of keeping with the spirit of the original Top Cat.

The 2D/3D animation combination, though not an eyesore for me, makes little sense. First of all, I would've tolerated a 2D character on a CGI background out of an animated movie from the 1980's/early 1990's, but even in the 90's, animators made it so the CGI was often not so conspicuous to the viewers. The CGI backgrounds obviously exist mainly to try to add depth for the digital 3D format, but since I never saw the 3D version, I cannot judge that.

All in all, I rate this 5 mainly for not boring me to death, attempt to introduce Top Cat and co to today's audiences, I saw it online for free, making the characters look more like the original show than Hollywood moneymakers might attempt to try, having OK music, a passable story, and a good use of "New York Groove" in the end credits.

Barney's Great Adventure (1998)

Mediocre... but still better than I expected it to be

[4/10 · 24 June 2012]

Well... I have not watched Barney in years, because I am now 16 and I have grown out of it. But even at my age, I feel that every once in a while I need to relive the cutest and most charming moments of my life.

To clarify, I never saw Barney's Great Adventure as a kid, but I only saw it just today on YouTube. I was checking it out to see if it was as bad as most people claim it to be and expected it to be a big waste of my time and really annoying, though admittedly I skipped an irrelevant musical number, but it turned out to be a movie that was, in my opinion, fine for little children.

On the other hand, the real negative points are... the story is somewhat clichéd (i.e. disgruntled kid on their grandparent's farm during the summer and wanting fun, the race against time plot etc.), the film's message, at times, is often skewed. For example, just imagining something becomes something else does not happen instantly... for example, a fallen tree does not become a wooden airplane in 30 seconds just by imagining.

On the plus side, the children could act OK, the visual effects, though sub-par, do look convincing to a toddler, and the ending with the little creature from the egg was admittedly kinda cute. And I'll give the movie credit for attempting to provide a good first time outing at the theatres for kids, as well as encouraging kids to imagine, but if you're a parent, grandparent, babysitter, teacher, caretaker etc., then you'll want to explain the real meaning of the message to kids.

... All in all, I realized how pessimistic I was at first and that I shouldn't always expect the worse to happen.

Over the Hedge (2006)

How did Bruce Willis, Nick Nolte and William Shatner agree to this?

[1/10 · 16 June 2012]

This movie is, in fact, quite possibly the worst DreamWorks animated film I ever saw.

My 11-year-old self was delighted when we rented this, but it turned out to suck. And on top of that, I was forced to watch it again with my Grade 6 class and one of my elementary school's Grade 3 classes sometime before school ended, and to top it all off, I missed our final assignment in French class! And a lot of my classmates in high school still think it's a riot... whereas they won't appreciate what great bits of cinema there are, this is not one of them.

If it left a bad taste in the mouth of my 12-year-old self, what makes you think it's going to be any better for me as a 16-year-old? To begin with, this movie has a very weak plot that could've have easily been dealt with on an episode of Spongebob (granted, newer episodes of Spongebob are not as good as the earlier ones, but they're far better than this by a long shot), has way too many irrelevant moments that attempt to keep the little kids focused on the screen but end up making their parents want to die ASAP.

RJ, inappropriately voiced by Bruce Willis, introduces the innocent, naive hedge creatures to the great aspects of American life he has witnessed. But it's not without bad food jokes, caffeine jokes and god-knows-what-FREAKING-ELSE jokes.

And seriously, why make an exterminator and an over-obsessed real estate woman the villains in this flick? Martha Stewart would call nonsense on the latter.

The plot, what little there is, is burdened by the aforementioned jokes, PG-rated humour and chase scenes that become trite after the umpteenth chase scene and out-of-place celebrity involvement.

I am struggling to believe that this movie was ACTUALLY good enough to warrant favourable reviews and not even one Golden Raspberry award.

The voice acting is ill-suited, why is an action star voicing a greedy loner raccoon? And the PG-rated humour is just plain disgusting for a children's movie: Talk of licking private parts, Hammy the squirrel's awful and totally far from subtle "Where's my nuts?" jokes and even Verne the turtle losing his shell... the fact that all this is marketed towards children is ludicrous and should not be seen by anyone unless they're looking for a way to torture someone without necessarily having to go to jail.

And to add insult to injury, there is a montage of RJ and company stealing numerous things from the human neighbourhood. I know animals do this, but given there's virtually no consequence for this, it's pretty much teaching our kids to become criminals.

This one... skip it and don't show it to your children at all costs. Instead, show them some classic Disney and Don Bluth films, such as Winnie the Pooh, The Land Before Time, The Rescuers Down Under etc.

You have been warned... if you insist on showing this to little kids, don't say I didn't warn you.

Tarzan (1999)

A childhood favourite and my first time in a movie theatre

[10/10 · 16 June 2012]

Ever since my Mom took me along with my older brother, his friend and the friend's mom when he turned 6, I have held this movie very dear to me. I was 3 years old, about a few months before my 4th birthday, at the time and while I continue to wonder how I sat through the movie without having to be removed from the theatre, I have since managed to sit through outings at the movies.

I admire the artwork, especially the blend of traditional animation and CGI, the music, the story and the voice acting. The decision to cast British actors to play Porter, Jane and Clayton is very well-suited, particularly Nigel Hawthorne who was also in The Black Cauldron, another childhood favourite.

According to my mom, when we saw this in the theatre, I loved watching the end credits to the point where we had to wait until they were through so we could go home. Now I adore the songs performed by Phil Collins in this movie.

Now we have the soundtrack CD, bought sometime after we saw it and when this movie came out on VHS in 2000, my mom and I went out and got it. Unfortunately, I stopped watching it after several viewings at home because it was too scary. When I was little, if a movie ever scared me, I decided the easiest thing to do was avoid it for as long as I possibly could. But when I was reaching adolescence, I went back and re-watched this movie and now it is once again one of my favourites.

On the other hand, I would not recommend this for anyone under 5-7. There is some violence, a lot of fights, Kerchak tends to go into rages which may frighten kids, the opening scene and of course any scene with Sabor the leopard. Seriously. I urge you, if you're a parent, babysitter, grandparent or elder relative, to watch this movie before you let any children watch it and if so, watch it with them.

All in all, this movie deserves 10 out of 10 for all the right reasons. ... If I could, though, I'd rate this 100/100.

A Troll in Central Park (1994)

Passable, but not excellent

[7/10 · 17 April 2012]

I am currently scouring numerous kids' movies I've seen and determining whether they're good or bad for children, much less YOU.

This one... it's going to take a little more thinking before I decide. I borrowed this movie from a library because I am a Don Bluth fan and I have been hearing about the negative reception and obscurity it's got. Like many children of the 1990's, I grew up with awesome animated movies for children, such as The Lion King, The Land Before Time, Aladdin etc.

So we have a friendly troll named Stanley who lives in a land where trolls are mean and scary (think The BFG), and it is ruled by none other than a no-nonsense evil queen who believes bad is good and good is bad (Geesh, that sounds hard to say).

So the message in this movie is "If you believe in yourself and dream well enough, things will magically happen." which I really am struggling to look at without upsetting fans of this movie. At first, it sounds real, but if you think critically at it, you'll realize "No, that doesn't make sense!" As the Nostalgia Critic explained, "dreams don't happen by just dreaming, you make it happen!", which is actually true. Although that's probably the context Don Bluth was aiming for, it just sounds different than what was probably intended. I agree that only certain "dreams" can come true if you work hard to make it happen, but that strongly depends on what it is, like you can't just dream to become Sailor Moon, work hard for it and TA-DAH, wish granted.

But I give this a 7 rating because I don't find it as bad as many make it out to be, I realize many people on the internet saw it as kids and liked it since then. In fact, the animation is good, the voice acting is not bad, I did mention in one of my other reviews that one of my favourite actors is/was Dom DeLuise, and of course Cloris Leachman as the evil queen Gnorga, whose name I recognize from Castle in the Sky.

But the story seems a little rushed, some moments are drawn out and the story was just a little bit too simple for me, but it's aimed at kids so I'm not irked over that. However, I feel these faults and all the negative reception must have been blamed one thing: Warner Bros.

Considering the studio was totally pessimistic about marketing this movie, even deliberately limiting the movie's release and advertising, I'm sure they were plotting to make this film as bad as humanly possible, even rushing Don Bluth to finish the movie for fall of 1994.

If that's true, then I feel sorry for anyone who likes Don Bluth and are annoyed by this film. It's not Toy Story, but I still like it.

So, if you want to show it to your kids, then I think it would be a good idea to talk with them afterwards and explain to them the true meaning of "believing in dreams".

Jacob Two Two Meets the Hooded Fang (1999)

A classic from my homeland

[10/10 · 2 March 2012]

This movie is a really good Canadian film, and probably one of (if not the) best Canadian films and shows I watched, keep in mind that I spent a good part of my childhood watching Little Bear, Babar, Care Bears, Arthur etc. and those shows were made in Canada.

To begin, I borrowed this movie from the library when I was 8 and it was not long before I liked it. If I were to list what's good about it, let's see. The acting is OK for a cinema production, I was very impressed by Miranda Richardson's performance as Miss Fowl, but for a movie with very few well-known names, it's likely not hard for some cinephiles to recognize the actors' names.

The story is good from beginning to end, the set design is decent and the songs are not as bad as some make it out to be, but like I said, I was a kid when I first saw this.

I especially like the judge's (Ice-T) song "Guilty" which is played at one point during the movie, and I loved the ending scenes, but I'm not mentioning any more about that.

To wrap it up, I would not recommend this movie for under-5 because some bits can be scary, but when it comes to movie watching, parental supervision always pays.

The Fox and the Hound (1981)

Show to your kids with caution

[4/10 · 2 March 2012]

WARNING: Show this movie to your children at your own risk! OK, time to get serious. Let me make it quite clear to you web surfers that I am a big fan of Disney films, and cinema in general, but this one I have always disliked. OK, let me make it clear I don't hate it.

To be fair, the artwork is decent and the voice acting matches. Even Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney put effort into his role here.

But the reason I dislike this movie is because it goes from "cutesy, cuddly and childish" to "dark, terrifying, malicious, sadistic, ferocious...etc." so quickly the kids cannot suspect something is wrong.

First you have Tod and Copper playing innocently, promising to be best friends forever then you have them making vicious, growling, faces and trying to bite each other's throats. This whole scene actually scared me as a 4-5 year old to the point where I didn't watch it again for years.

I cannot believe scenes like this and the climax still kept the G rating! Does the MPAA just check the poster for the Walt Disney signature and say "Well, it says Disney on it so I guess it means it gets a G rating"? And on top of that, your children will likely learn to fight as brutally as shown in this movie, Disney seems to have no respect for the fact that kids are easily frightened and often repeat what they see.

To be honest, I found these scenes very appalling for a G-rated Disney flick, and I was shocked that it's seldom talked about on the internet. I honestly hope I'm not alone in my opinions here. Even my family barely feels sorry for me on this matter, but we are currently considering disposing of the VHS.

So if you're a parent looking for good, family fun this isn't it. Try some of Disney's other movies, like Sword in the Stone, Winnie the Pooh or The Lion King. At least the latter was more wholesome, used frightening images sparingly, showed little violence and taught a useful message.

The Magic Voyage (1992)

A childhood favourite!

[9/10 · 4 February 2012]

To start off, this movie was one of my favourite movies since I was little, so naturally I am quite sorry to have read so many negative reviews for this movie.

People here complain about the film's historical inaccuracies and the mere fact that it is a German cartoon based on American history. Well, anyone who totally bashes this but writes favourable reviews for Pocahontas, Anastasia etc. is clearly a hypocrite because Pocahontas wasn't friends with a raccoon and a hummingbird.

This movie must have been one of the first films I saw that starred Dom DeLuise. Though he is dead, I still consider him to be one of the most lovable actors to have existed, given the fact that he often portrayed gentle, funny, friendly characters such as Tiger from An American Tail. To me, there's just something grandfatherly about some of the characters he played.

The story here is very much influenced by Disney, with a woodworm joining Christopher Columbus on a journey to not only prove the world is not flat, but also rescue a fairy princess from the clutches of the evil Swarm Lord, who is actually a very menacing villain, the performance of Grizzly Adams' Dan Haggerty is quite effective.

I've seen the Nostalgia Critic review for this, and although I find it funny, I don't think this movie is awful, annoying and an insult to the audience's intelligence. If you're REALLY concerned that your kids will grow up believing what the movie shows and not what the books say, just explain what really happened. Your kids might understand if you just explain, I didn't grow up believing this.

Bottom line, this movie is great. Even my two older brothers and my parents like it, and if you don't like it and you never saw it as a kid, just keep in mind that it's A KIDS MOVIE!

Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (1989)

You're never too old to let a family feature charm you.

[16 November 2011]

Even though I'm 16, Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland is actually one of my favourite kids' movies of all time. To tell you the truth, I first saw this at age 15, but luckily I have a soft spot for family features, as long as they've had actual effort put in.

I have many reasons why I love this movie. For one thing, I love fantasy stuff so this was an instant chalk-up on my favourite films list, which also includes the Harry Potter films, Don Bluth films and Disney stuff as well.

Secondly, I have quite a few favourite characters. Nemo (of course), but not just because he's the main character, his flying squirrel friend Icarus, because he's just so adorable and silly (Yes, I have a soft spot for cute stuff even though I'm a teenage boy), Princess Camille, Flip, and even the Boomps, because I know that even though the Boomps are goblins I strongly believe that not all trolls and goblins are bad.

Thirdly, the animation quality was great. I was pleasantly surprised when I found out that both then-Disney animators, the director of Harry Potter, Ray Bradbury and even Japanese animators worked hard on this even though it was a flop later. It was pure eye candy for me.

Seeing as Hemdale owned this before it folded for good, it's understandable why it flopped at the box office because said film company was only an independent film distributor, it's not as if film distributors ship reels off to the cinemas for free.

I warn that it can get dark at parts, but it probably wouldn't hurt to watch this with children (either your own if you have any or kids you're babysitting).

Great!

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Movie (1998)

If you ever see it in a store, leave it there.

[1/10 · 8 October 2011]

Get ready to hear this, but I actually used to like it when I was little, but for some reason I grew out of it.

I can't believe I have to live with this abomination. What was the point of making this movie if there was already a Rudolph special in existence? Were the producers afraid everybody would forget about the Rankin-Bass special? I mean, go on to Amazon, type in "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", and you'll see how much we've forgotten about it.

The animation is beyond terrible, you may as well be letting whatever kids you're babysitting (if that scenario is the case) watch some college graduate's show-reel.

The voices in this movie are annoying. I'm very much offended that Eric Idle (who came from the UK) would be using a Brooklyn accent in this movie. I hope he knows how awful this movie is. The fairies that tell the story are utterly annoying.

On top of that, the movie has pretty much no silent moment. There isn't one scene in the movie that doesn't have any noise blaring through the speakers. When you put on this movie for any children, your basically just banging pots and pans and dancing like an idiot in front of them for an hour and a half.

The songs in this movie are plain terrible, the inclusion of Paul McCartney's "A Wonderful Christmastime" is overly offencive to me. And what sense does it make when Rudolph's singing voice sounds like Justin Bieber on sulphur hexafluoride while his speaking voice sounds like Ash Ketchum?

Pardon me if I sound like a sadist, but there are almost no useful scare tactics in the movie! That just makes it whimsical pandering! When a kid cartoon has frightening images, it teaches children that the world is a dark and cruel place. Even the villain is not scary enough.

What also annoys me is that rather than the villain, Stormella, simply falling to her death and hip hip hooray, cue end credits, Rudolph and the others just SAVE Stormella from plummeting to her doom even though Rudolph sent her to her near death in the first place! What kind of a lesson is that to teach your children? Just rescue a bad guy from their near death even if they attacked you to begin with? Talk about insulting your child's intelligence!

But as if that's not bad enough, Rudolph just wishes for Stormella to be nice, and lo and behold, she becomes a good sport. OK, that's just ASKING for your kids to get critically injured or murdered! That's just BEYOND disrespectful to a kid's intelligence!

It's beyond believable this was shown in cinemas before it was tossed into the Safeway bargain bins (if you know what I mean). I wouldn't be surprised if it was a box office bomb, which certainly doesn't matter since this movie probably didn't cost too much to make.

All I can say now is that the rest of the family I live with (even my 19 and 18 year old brothers) think this is such a good movie, but this makes Troll 2 seem like The Shawshank Redemption (never seen either films, but you can figure out what I mean). Even A Troll in Central Park is better than this!

Bug Bites: An Ant's Life (1998 Video)

Epic fail

[7 August 2011]

This has got to be one of the worst cartoons of all time. Even though it was produced in the 1990's when independent films produced with computer animation were not between barely and not at all like Pixar and DreamWorks, it still sucks.

This whole mess of a CGI cartoon film is so awful that the only age group that could possibly like it would be little children who can't tell a knock-off from a blockbuster hit. The character designs are completely crappy, there seem to be at least only a couple pieces of music (played over and over at parts mind you) and the geckos look more like Kermit the Frog was turned into a lizard.

In one scene, the caterpillar eating a leaf is actually the caterpillar moving its mouth while a corner of the leaf is suspended from the ground! The animation is so crappy that it makes a VeggieTales tape seem like Toy Story.

I purposely watched it after I saw the DVD at my local library, and knew from looking at the cover that it is a ripoff of A Bug's Life. If you want a movie about bugs, get A Bug's Life or Antz, and not this piece of junk!

Ranma ½ (1989–1990)

What should never have been dubbed into English

[1/10 · 9 January 2011]

Although the series itself, see my other review, was completely amusing, I was so shocked by the OVA, Desperately Seeking Shampoo, that I stopped viewing the franchise's episodes altogether.

So it's like this, Shampoo's great grandma Cologne allows her to have some old jewels she (Cologne) once had, but Shampoo gets this jewel that, when worn the wrong way, causes the person wearing it to become a slap-happy death machine. Eventually, her so-called boyfriend (who she doesn't even like at all) Mousse ends up getting Akane to love Ranma only for him to fly into a trash pile and then have to go to the hospital.

Don't ever let your kids watch this garbage, they'll only commit a repeat of the Columbine tragedy. Many people claim this OVA is funny, but that is like saying the Normandy invasion scene from Saving Private Ryan is amusing and even laughing at the story of the two 10-year-old boys who killed a toddler after abducting them in England. Seriously, don't let your kids watch this.

Ranma ½ (1989–1992)

Funny series, horrifying spin off

[5/10 · 25 October 2010]

While I enjoyed watching Viz's imports of the series, I was curious enough to decide to watch the OVAs that were produced during the series' popularity. Of course, I should have been laughing at one of them, but I was really horrified by what happened in the first OVA. Of course, I didn't watch all of it yet, but the first 6 minutes, which showed Shampoo beating Ranma to a pulp, were too much for me. It was enough to head to IMDb and write this review. I'd give the series 5 stars, but the OVA deserves far less than that!

I was totally left speechless and gaping by the way Shampoo was treating poor Ranma, normally I had no sympathy for Ranma whatsoever (I cared more for Shampoo, Ryoga, Mousse and Akane) I was completely horrified regardless. Seeing Ranma get smacked repeatedly was just hard for me to tolerate. The OVA gets -5 stars for this reason, I can't believe many people allow their children to watch that stuff, that's why people get into brutal fights at schools and their victim ends up on life support in the hospital.

Simply put, CONDEMNED!

The Thief and the Cobbler (1993)

Animation that should've seen the light of day the way it should've

[10/10 · 4 July 2010]

While the animation itself and characters are very epic, I am quite ashamed that I heard about the film's troubled production history and where it ended up; in the hands of a Saturday morning cartoon veteran, then a distributor from New York who will stop at nothing to ruin a perfectly good masterpiece.

However, I do quite enjoy both ruined versions (Miramax and Majestic Films), but I would like to see the director's cut, if it were even to see the light of day. Though there's a Recobbled Cut, I don't specifically mean that, I mean all of the film completed.

For me, it all started in 2002, when I obtained a box of Froot Loops that had this DVD in a paper sleeve inside. At first, I thought it was Disney's Aladdin. (Note: Though I enjoy Aladdin, I think it's partly Disney's fault that the Cobbler is in this predicament) Back then, my family didn't own a DVD player so I had to watch it on my father's laptop, because it had a DVD drive.

I was hooked the moment I saw the epic animation, hard to believe that a six-year-old brain could take in all that in one go. I have seen WB's licensing trailer and, despite my liking for the ruined edits, support those who wish to see the movie the way it was meant to be.

Soon, I'll watch the Recobbled Cut and see how it should've been. Good luck to all the people who wish for an official restoration.

Anne: Journey to Green Gables (2005 Video)

What Kevin Sullivan had stirred up,,,

[10/10 · 23 April 2010]

Another on my list of animated flicks is this, well it was really good but I can't think of another word to describe it. It was like, Grade 4, I'm in Grade 8 now, when I first heard of this, then 4 years later, it was broadcast on cable TV and I was fortunate to think of taping it, which I did, although my little sister didn't like it, I thought it was like an awesome movie, particularly Madame Poubelle's boiler-operated flying machine and the awesome henchmen's disguise. I think it should be passed on to other Green Gables fans, like me. Who cares if it was never released in cinemas in my country, it was such a good movie. I can honestly tell you now, that I almost cried when Madame Poubelle threw Anne's books into the fire but at least the squirrel, Bailey I think it was, eventually cheered me up. So what if it isn't loyal to the books, as far as I'm aware it had the "fat and ugly" and "Gilbert Blythe, how dare you!" parts that was in the original book. I especially liked Cedric Smith's, Mike Beaver's (credited as Michael Beaver) and Wayne Robson's performances in the movie and the climax of the movie with the boiler-flying machine.

When the Wind Blows (1986)

Unlike anything that I've ever seen!

[10/10 · 1 March 2010]

If there's one movie on my list of favourite animated films, this is what I'd pick. A fantastic animated flick starring none other than Sir John Mills and Dame Peggy Ashcroft that deals with with the threat of a nuclear holocaust. It's like this, Jim Bloggs goes home on a bus to his wife and prepare a scrumptious British meal of sausages and chips, but that's not so peaceful after it turns out nuclear war is about to break out (in the film, I mean) in two or three days time. Jim jumps up in shock and exclaims "Crumbs! This is it, ducks." and over the next couple of days gets the work for a fallout shelter done, well not necessarily done, but what they think is done. Of course, they rely on "Protect and Survive", which I'm not entirely sure was completely reliable in the Cold War, and presume that just because a rescue brigade took care of citizens in the second World War, it will be the same for this one. Then it happens! The missile comes and totally destroys the countryside, blinding car drivers and blowing buildings apart. But that's not the worst part, instead it's when Jim and Hilda decide to go outside in attempts to harvest and keep popping out of their shelter so often, that they develop radiation sickness. So, I first watched the film on the internet when I was 13, now I'm 14, and soon I definitely wish to buy the original VHS on eBay or Amazon so my classmates can see it. BTW, the nuclear attack scene really gave me the shivers first time I saw it.

Franklin and the Turtle Lake Treasure (2006)

Nelvana's most recent movie.

[10/10 · 15 October 2008]

I have to admit, this movie is the best Nelvana release I have ever watched. This film is so good I call it "Once Upon A Forest meets The Little Bear Movie but with different characters." This weekend, I watched it with my little sister. We both liked it. It doesn't matter if Franklin has a different voice, all that matters is that it is a VERY good movie.

It all started when I was surfing Wikipedia at school one day when I noticed that a Franklin movie was released. In the fall of that year, I was frantically looking for this film and believe me, I was too frustrated I nearly gave up. This fall, I found the DVD cover for this movie in a Wal-Mart flyer and I just got it for my birthday.

My favorite characters are, Franklin, Samantha and, of course, Little Crow. I like how Little Crow calls shiny things "Shiny pretties". It isn't one of those movies with a sad ending, but with a happy ending because Granny gets cured and Franklin is declared hero.