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Reviews
Hell House LLC (2015)
Decent found-footage with more ups than downs
Hell House LLC is a found-footage horror film that doesn't add anything new to the sub-genre. Often though, a film doesn't have to break new ground to be successful, it just needs to do the genre justice and tic the right boxes. Such is the case with Hell House LLC.
The atmosphere is creepy and the acting is par for the course in these types of movies. As with many films in this particular sub-genre, the early to mid parts of the movie do drag a bit and threaten to force the viewer to lose interest, but Hell House sprinkles the less-intense moments with just enough dread to keep us watching and even manages to build a good level of suspense.
The biggest problems though, come toward the end, where we're met with the "payoff" that doesn't quite live up to the suspense that has been created. Top that with an ending that's too predictable and cliche in this sub-genre and the film quickly slips from an 8 to a 7/10 rating. Still a solid and entertaining movie and recommended for horror buffs.
The Woman in the Window (2021)
Unoriginal but with good cinematography
2 for originality
4 for acting
4 for story
7 for cinematography
Overall - 4.25/10.
The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)
I'm trying to be objective
I like horror, my wife does not. With that said, she enjoyed the show more than I did, which wasn't much. The obvious reason for this is that it's not a horror story. Once I accepted that, I tried to enjoy the show for what it was, however I just couldn't.
We did finish the series, but I found it painfully boring and it seemed that they could have told the story in a fraction of the time. I'm sure this will draw the ire of those who insist that I'm missing something, but my wife and I came to the same conclusion. It's just too long-winded and sentimental. Not that being sentimental is a bad thing, but the sentimentality is pretentious and contrived.
For us, the show just didn't work.
Fatal Affair (2020)
Entertaining but overused format
Overall, a good and entertaining movie that's part of a genre that's been done to death. I found Nia and Omar to be very believable in their roles and thought the supporting cast overall delivered good performances as well. Nothing new or surprising with this film, but certainly good for some entertainment.
Haunted (2018)
Pretty rough all around
What hurts "Haunted" isn't that it's done in such a cheesy way, that the stories are utterly unbelievable, or that it's rife with melodrama and cringeworthy moments of ridiculousness. It's the combination of all of those things that make this show about "real" hauntings very near to unwatchable. These are obviously fabrications, the real-life victims of these events are so unbelievable that it's almost laughable. I really hope Netflix is isn't actually trying to pass this off as a show about real events. I'm sure they know better. The problem is it's not even interesting as a fiction. Just bad overall.
Landscape Artist of the Year (2015)
A mixed bag
The show itself is quite enjoyable. Watching the different artists with their various styles is fascinating. However, the problem with the show, and the source of my frustration with it, is in the judging. Unfortunately, the judges don't seem to be looking for the most talented artist as much as the artist that suit their own stylistic preferences. They rely far too heavily on the crutch of art being "subjective" and forget that judges are supposed to be "objective". If you can put the frustration of the judging aside and just watch the show for the art, it can be quite an enjoyable experience.
Avengers: Endgame (2019)
Overrated, but still good
Endgame is, in my opinion, certainly overrated. That's not to say I didn't like it, it's just not nearly as good as many people make it out to be. My eleven year old son loved it, but I expected more. Maybe my expectations were too high, I'll admit that. After all, it's an action movie with little substance at its core. It's wrapped in all the bells and whistles and quite often delivers an adequately exciting ride, but unfortunately it's just a bit of a mess. The bits that are meant to be heartfelt fell flat for me, riddled with improbable scenarios. Not the type of scenarios that involve godlike aliens wielding ultra powerful rocks, those are to be expected in this type of movie. The scenarios I'm referencing as improbable are the poorly derived emotional moments that just seem to have no structure and lack consistency, detracting from the effectiveness of the characters. Overall Endgame is a worthwhile watch, but not a worthy final stanza. It fell short of being the finale it could have been due to a messy plot and melodramatic tendencies.
Hellboy (2019)
Disappointing overall
Being a fan of the original movies, I had high hopes for the newest iteration of Hellboy. Unfortunately, the writing is bad and the acting is hit and miss, with some characters delivering a decent performance while others are just cringeworthy. The movie is quite cheesy and the humor is rough, again this mostly goes back to the poor writing. I found myself just wanting it to be over a little over halfway through and it didn't get any better. The story and characters are disjointed, nonsensical, and very forgettable. It's hard to think of anything redeeming about the film, which is unfortunate because I was very much looking forward to a good, fun, and exciting viewing experience. What I got, sadly, was an eye-rolling, smacking-my-head cringe fest.
Slasher (2016)
A mediocre show that quickly goes downhill
I watched the first two seasons and was on the fence. I thought there were some decent elements to the second season, so I decided to give season three a go. What I would describe as a mediocre horror show quickly devolves into nonsense in season three. The writing is beyond horrible, the plot is sloppy , and the not-so-subtle political innuendos are out of place in a poorly conceived horror series. I found myself cringing at how bad the writing was throughout the entire season. Hopefully Netflix stops with season three before it gets any worse, although I'm not sure how it could.
The Haunting of Hill House (2018)
Lots of drama, ups and downs
The Haunting of Hill House has many highs and lows. It takes a couple of episodes to figure out who is who as the story jumps around a lot. Once you've got that worked out it sets up a decent amount of intrigue and a creepy setting. There are some reasonably frightening moments in the series, but nothing that will leave you shaken. I did appreciate the reluctance to resort to jump scares as I find this to be a cheap and lazy tactic. The added touch of ghostly faces hidden in plain sight throughout the various scenes kept me looking and scanning the shadows for more.
A few things fell flat for me. There is a lot of predictability throughout the series and more often than not I felt let down a bit as the secrets revealed themselves. As the season progresses, the show devolves for a short while into a spooky soap opera centering on little more than family squabbles. We are forced to endure adults acting like entitled brats for a couple of episodes, but it finds its footing again soon enough.
I found the ending to be a bit too easy. Although I found beauty, inspiration, and sadness in the final act, I just wasn't all that surprised.
Overall this is a show worth watching for fans of horror and the supernatural. Although it is often predictable and sometimes feels more like a drama than horror, it has enough going for it to more than make up for its shortfalls.
Dead to Me (2019)
Dull, pretentious, and poorly written
As someone who lost my spouse and was left to raise two young children alone, I found this unpalatable. From the poorly written, often forced, and unrealistic dialogue to the wholly unlikeable characters, it was a mess. I won't blame the actors, they were simply working with what they had, which wasn't much. This definitely feels like a Hollywood take on bereavement which, as usual, is out of touch with the reality of it. They literally miss everything that makes the experience of losing a spouse so horrible and profound and instead infuse this mess with pretentious opinions of what it's probably like sprinkled with the typical political agendas we've come to expect from our entertainers. Overall, not a remarkable or memorable show in any way. Dead To Me is dull trudge through a "comedy" that forgot to be funny or even witty, and instead just settles for being unpleasant.
Creed II (2018)
Creed II is boring and just bad.
This movie is rife with cliches, all of which are poorly executed. Mix that with a protagonist that's often difficult to like and you get Creed II.
The beginning and end of the movie hold the only action, albeit action that is, again, poorly executed.
The parts of the movie that were meant to be uplifting and inspiring fall completely flat and miss the mark. It gets 3 stars from me merely for the nostalgia which is mostly ruined by the previously mentioned issues. Very disappointing.
It (2017)
It just isn't scary
I read the book, so of course my critique on the movie is going to be harsh. I understand that most often comparing books to their theatrical counterparts is comparing apples to oranges. The biggest problem with the movie is that it's just not scary... at all. Nope, not even a little.
I was pretty excited when I heard about the reboot of the It movie, since the original was a bit comical, although it did a fair job of capturing the essence of the characters.
Unfortunately, I think this movie just missed the mark on every level from the rushed character development to the silly looking clown. It felt like a dressed-up, watered-down version of what it should have been. The essence of It isn't in a scary monster-clown. It's in an unseen malevolent force that haunts a group of misfit friends one fateful summer. It's the unknown, inescapable, and underlying foreboding that lurks ever near. This movie just doesn't get it.
Deep in the Darkness (2014)
Deep In the Nonsense
Deep In the Darkness is pretty bad overall. The acting is acceptable, with the protagonist carrying most of the scenes.
It starts off relatively well, building feelings of suspense and mystery, but quickly devolves into nonsense thanks to a horrible plot and absolutely silly creatures.
Unfortunately, the weak and nonsensical plot only gets worse as the movie drags on and ultimately what you get is a very poor and forgettable movie.
Primal Rage (2018)
Watchable, but with a lot (I mean a lot) of nonsense
Some forced dialogue and mediocre acting lead us through the opening sequence, where we are introduced to a husband, just released from prison, and his wife as they drive through the pristine forests of the Pacific Northwest. Some horrible cliches involving the locals are applied to the plot rather thickly as we meet a large hunting party, comprised completely of hopeless rednecks with no agenda but to shoot things and harass "outsiders".
An overused scene sees our young married couple driving while arguing, thus consuming all of the concentration needed for proper vehicle operation. After hitting a heavily gnawed-upon man with their car, things take an even darker turn when they find themselves reunited with the passive-aggressive rednecks from the aforementioned cliche.
Multiple death scenes ensue as the group of locals is taken apart by a Bigfoot-like creature with tree bark armor who is apparently trained in combat tactics and has a bow. He also captures and apparently rapes the wife, which is honestly pretty messed up.
After a nonsensical several minutes involving more cliches, this time centering on native Americans, and a parallel track involving the husband and some old witch lady (where did she come from?) with a bad Halloween mask for a face, we are graced with the final stanza.
Basically the husband becomes Rambo and goes ape on the ape, but is tragically (or thankfully) taken out by more Bigfoot things that show up out of nowhere.
I didn't hate it, but the silly cliches, ridiculous characters, and over the top plot made it merely watchable. It made me laugh and that should count for something.
Scare factor: 0 Gore: 7 laughable ridiculousness: 9
A Quiet Place (2018)
I wanted to like it
I really did want to like it, and even after the opening where the parents leave a small boy out of immediate reach in such a dangerous environment, I told myself to give it chance. Unfortunately the movie is nonsensical and rife with inconsistent ideas. The rules of what the creatures can do and what they can hear seem to change constantly.
Most of the inconsistencies have been covered in other reviews, as well as the apparent no-brainer things that could have made life easier. I won't go into it again, but the whole thing really is pretty silly.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I know that there are many people who liked this movie. That's fine. However, for me, the horrible inconsistencies and ridiculous decision making of the family made it just a bit too absurd for me to have enjoyed.
Fireproof (2008)
Perfect movie for any married couple
About 10 or 15 minutes into the movie, my wife and I were laughing a little about some of the acting. However, we decided to watch with an open mind and were soon completely absorbed in the movie. If you are one of those people who find religious messages offensive you won't like this movie. I am a Christian, so I felt good about it and felt it was not overdone. Again though, if that sort of thing bothers you, you won't like Fireproof. In the end, my wife and I really enjoyed this movie and found it helpful and very touching. We were both moved to tears on several occasions, especially nearing the end. If you can watch with an open mind, then it's very much worth your time, particularly if you are married or in a serious relationship. You do have to get past some moments of questionable acting and some flawed dialogues. By the end, we didn't even think about the acting, in fact it almost made it seem more realistic. Very touching movie if you give it a chance. I read some comments about racism and sexism. I found those to be ridiculous. First of all, some people look for any reason to cry racism and I didn't see any racial profiling or bigotry in this film. I think those people don't like this film because maybe it made them look at themselves and their lives a little too much.
Quarantine (2008)
Not worth much
Wow, yay... Another movie where the actors are put into a ridiculous situation and make even more ridiculous decisions on how to deal with it. I won't even go into details, but the situations that were obviously meant to be scary were just absurd. The ONLY part of the movie that had me even close to the edge of my seat was the ending, but even that was predictable and certainly nothing new. The camera thing gets really annoying very quickly. It reminds me of the movie "Cloverfield" in that respect. I gather that this film was a remake and that most people consider the original to be better. I can easily believe that it would be. Bottom line, if you have 2 hours to kill, give it a watch. It's really not very good.
Shutter (2008)
It's been done too many times...
I was bored with this movie from start to finish. I can honestly say I wasn't scared, surprised, startled or otherwise unnerved at any point in the movie. This film was not frightening in the least. It follows a formula that has been done too many times. It is painfully predictable and brings nothing new to the table. You see a story with methods and "twists" that have been used time and time again. I can't understand how whoever made this movie thought that it was in any way original. I hope the next "horror" film I rent is a better representation of the genre and not some ridiculous cocktail of the worst parts of a few weak horror movies.