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Reviews
Personal Velocity: Three Portraits (2002)
Beautiful narration of three lives
Personal Velocity is an odd film to watch and ponder. It's broken up into three relatively unrelated segments that each tells the story of a woman trying to overcome difficulties in her life, whether self-imposed or a product of her environment. There is Delia, trapped in an abusive relationship, Greta, who ponders a new career that could change her whole life, and Paula, a runaway contemplating fate after escaping a tragic accident.
This is a film that has the feel of a book - largely due to the rather heavy narration. Often that type of narration hampers the flow of a movie and acts as nothing more than an explanation for those who can't follow the plot; however, in this case, the voice over is one of a poetic guide merely showing us what lies before us - forcing the audience to draw their own conclusions. Such a demand upon the viewer is important in Personal Velocity as the stories do not necessarily paint the picture you might expect.
Overall I would say this was a beautiful, personally-introspective film that earned it's accolades and is well worth the time spent watching it.
The Office (2001)
Am I missing something?
I just don't find this series funny. I watched a couple episodes because of all the good buzz and I just don't see what everybody else is praising. All of the characters are extremely irritating, not funny. There's not a single character that I like, and that makes it difficult to watch. It's somewhat realistic (which I guess is why so many people like it) but that doesn't make it good. Actually, overall most of the realism comes from the horrendous acting and amateurish style. Where are all of the great British comedic actors I used to see on BBC? I actually got a hold of 5 episodes, but I could barely make it through 2 of them.
And no, it's not subtle humor. They beat you over the head with the same exact jokes for 25 minutes. It is incredibly forced and that makes it more painful than enjoyable. On the rare occasion that I did chuckle, it was quickly beaten down 2 minutes later by repeated humor or awkward moments. I get that the boss thinks he's funny and actually isn't, but you don't have to have him constantly talk about how funny he is and then have him tell bad jokes. That formula wears thin very quickly. And it might be salvaged if at least one of the other employees was funny, but they're all annoying jerks. It may be truthful, but if that's what my office was like, why would I want to watch it on TV? It might be funny in real life because you're a part of it, but here it's just lame and amateurish. It's like watching a play written by a college student who thinks he's being very clever; and it's like watching that play performed by high school kids.
X2 (2003)
Awesome sequel
X-2 rawks! I mean, that pretty much goes without saying. It's an awesome action flick that totally lived up to it's predecessor. I'm a big X-Men fan, and I was so excited by the original and how well they actually portrayed the comic book. These movies aren't classics that will be preserved for future generations, or anything like that. What they are, is a whole lotta fun. The opening scene with Nightcrawler was just beyond cool. And the quick shot of Colossus transforming was everything I hoped for. But of course, the best parts were the fights with Wolverine. Hugh Jackman fits the part so well. And yes, there are some grey areas where things don't completely match the comics or don't even come close, but it's forgivable. I mean honestly, when my biggest complaint is that Colossus didn't have a Russian accent (for his maybe 4 lines), they didn't do too bad. Go see it. Now! I mean it!!
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
Sheer genius
Bubba Ho-Tep is a movie built upon the reality of the absurd. It takes the most laughable concepts, and wraps them up in a sweet, yet crunchy, tortilla shell. If you don't know the concept by now, let me sum up to the best of my abilities. Elvis Presley switched lives with an impersonator and is now stuck in an old age home. JFK may have been dyed black and is now hiding out just down the hall from the King. Regardless, these two are the only hope to defend the rest of the old folks from an ancient, soul-sucking mummy. Got it? Not only is this movie hysterical, but it also turns out to be quite touching. Campbell delivers line after line of side-splitting... well... one-liners and Ossie Davis's deadpan portrayal of a black man who believes he is former President Jack Kennedy is priceless. But the true revelation is in their ability to convey the later years of two great men well beyond their prime, yet pushing to go out on top.
The mixture of comedy, horror, and drama in the most offbeat sense is brilliant and already has me wanting to see it again. The audience enthusiastically agreed as the 92 minutes runtime was filled with hoots, hollers, guffaws, and other types of laughter along with rowdy handclapping and kneeslapping. I highly recommend this film for those with a taste for the unusual.
Panic Room (2002)
Interesting concept - typical execution
The idea of this movie didn't seem great to me, but with a good enough director I figured I would give it a chance. The movie is at best so-so, but there are just too many instances of ridiculous behavior that I got tired of it. It's the typical problem with such a narrow concept of a movie, that constant coincidences and misguided actions are necessary to maintain the plot. I probably could have forgiven most of those implausibilities and flaws had it not been for the horribly pathetic and cliched ending. At best I can say that the acting was decent and Fincher has some good moments of direction, but overall a throwaway movie.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
How bad can one movie be?
The answer is really bad! I generally don't give out 1 star ratings, but this movie has absolutely no redeeming qualities. It's not scary. It's not funny. It's not well directed or acted. It has an incredibly hackneyed plot. There's not a single original or otherwise interesting thought in the entire movie. The movie relies on gore and attempted shocks to be scary, but fails in the most pathetic way possible. I'm sure this movie will scare some people, but it won't be a memorable scare, like Halloween, Alien, or The Thing. Instead it'll be like when you find a container of food in the back of the fridge that's been there for 2 years. Just avoid this movie - you'll feel crappy afterward for having watched such an awful movie.
*** POSSIBLE SPOILERS ***
It's easy to tell everybody's going to die early in the movie which removes all elements of suspense. Without suspense horror has to rely on gore, and then it's weak.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
A worthy sequel
I really loved the first movie, so I've been very excited about seeing the sequels. The biggest problem with following a movie like The Matrix is that you lose a lot of the surprise and originality because the first one was so different.
With that said, Reloaded is awesome. The Wachowski brothers did another fine job of mixing action, adventure, suspense, and mythology. As with any movie there are flaws, but I thoroughly enjoyed the ride. It is more than simply a rehashing of what we know filled with even cooler action sequences. This movie delves deeper into what the Matrix is and what it all means. I found the "answers" to be very intriguing. ***Mild Spoiler*** To be honest, I felt that the conversation with The Architect was just as fascinating as any of the fight sequences.
In short - if you enjoyed the first movie, you'll enjoy this one. A very worthy sequel to an incredible movie.
Pâfekuto burû (1997)
What movie did you guys watch?
My roommate rented this movie after all of the reviews and recommendations we had heard/read/seen. I don't understand how so many people can be so wrong.
This movie was just bad. Ok, the idea was pretty interesting, but the execution was awful. The script was lame, and the animation was the worst I've ever seen. I really enjoy a lot of anime ("Princess Mononoke," "Ninja Scroll," and "Ghost in the Shell" to name some of my favorites), but this is such a terrible example of the form. And please stop comparing it to anything Hitchcock did - that's just an insult to everyone involved.
I just keep wondering if all of the other reviewers saw a different version of the movie, or just another movie completely. This is a horrible addition to anime, and just a bad, bad movie overall.