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Reviews
Going Berserk (1983)
Three Words "Kung Fu You"
This is raunchy comedy at its best... "I'd like to sing a song, with my d!ck in my hand, just for you honey". Before American Pie this was the epitome of teen comedy. Home of one of the greatest comic spectacles of all time "Kung Fu You" this movie easily wraps you up and will not let you go until you hear Blue Moon at the end. This film also serves as one of the best times a song at the opening credits was actually well done. If you can find it, I suggest that you purchase it.
Batman: Dead End (2003)
Why does everyone think that this is so great.
SPOILER I admit that I like the fact that they brought back the original costume, and the story that it set itself into but, once the Alien came out of nowhere I felt like I had been cheated. I was imagining that something with the subtitle "Dead End" meant that in the end someone would die. Joker or Batman would have been nice(we did not see Joker die so therefore he may still be alive). When I read the synopsis I was imagining that the Scarecrow, or worse, may come out to kill them both. Not a flipping Alien or Predator. This short was horrible and incredibly stupid.
Charlotte Church Enchantment (2001)
This is her best.
It doesn't get much better than this for Charlotte Church fans. This is her best song collection so far, and this is a must have. Only one thing bad about it though, the song Imagine does not appear on the CD. Oh, got to love that little red dress that she grooves to the music in.
Falling Down (1993)
How did Schumacher go from this to the two horrible Batman films?
What is our world coming to? Why must we percieve our world as a kindly place, when it most certainly is not? Schumacher was known for making great films that answered these questions. Then he directs two craptacular films(almost in a row). This man can make great films, as can be seen by this movie, and others like Tigerland and Phonebooth. Enough about Batman... This films is not all that violent(through its actions), but through its inside meanings are as violent and disturbing as you can get. I would let my child watch this movie just so that he could see the world for what it truly is, a barren waste land where no good can come from.
The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String (2003)
A good "Lord of the Rings" parody
Who can forget such characters as Smirnoff, Sour Ass, or Dildo Saggins. There are a few slow points in the film, but that is not enough to disregard it. Misty Mundae is definitely one of the cuter girls that I have seen in a long time(she reminds me of Willow from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"). Still a good, seven star, movie. Lions, Gorilla's and Spokes' Models Oh My!!.
Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance (2002)
Greatest MK of all time... Sort of.
Very few flaws can be detected in this latest rendition of the classic series. Fatalities lack the disturbing power of the first MK, Lui Kang(whom I didn't like anyway) is killed off, and your selection of characters, at first start up, is extremely limited(9). Even though these "flaws" may seem like game-killers, they are not. After choosing my character for the first time, Scorpion, I was greeted by what seemed to be the shortest load screen in the history of MK on a CD form. That was just the beginning of me being surprised. The stage opened up with a very cool rotation effect as the camera zoomed in on me and my advisary, Sub-Zero. I was enraptured by the background, and I almost missed the unforgettable sound of "Fight!!!". I was a pure button masher for nearly the entire round. As Scorpion, I had to try back, back, X. Only to realize later on that, that had been changed to back, forward, X. Scorpion's spear spewed relentlessly from his palm and caught Sub-Zero in mid air. The last few hit to kill my advisary became a flurry of button mashing, until Sub-Zero fell to the ground(in a bloody mess). As if you didn't already know, the blood that falls to the ground remains there until the very end of the fight. What happened next in the fight was a pure stroke of genius for Ed Boon and the other creators. There is no load between fight rounds, Sub-Zero merely stood up and dusted himself off and he was ready to fight. The very first thing Sub-Zero did was pull out his sword, I tried to block his attacks, but was unsuccessful. Sub-Zero ran me through with his sword, and the sword styed there, spewind my blood to the ground and I continually lost life. Long story short, I managed to kick the crap out of him and was screamed at by that familiar voice to "Finish Him!!!". I walked backward from Sub-Zero and tried to remember the Fatality combination I had seen on the Internet. (Back, back, down, back+attack 4). The screen went black and I caught my first glimpse of good violence in a video game for the PS2. Scorpion threw out his spear and it went through Sub-Zero's head. Scorpion then proceeded to try and tear the head off of the body, he succeeds and sends Sub-Zero's body sprawling to the ground. "Fatality!!!", I hear, and the match is over. In record time for an MK game too(less than a minute).
Superb graphics, and great controls help this to be the greatest MK of all. MK Trilogy is just as good.
9 out of 10
Twisted Metal: Black (2001)
Paint it Black
From the opening menu, the action has begun. Pick one of the loonies and start your massacre of the other loonies. Such a simple gameplay working becoming one of the greatest experiences ever on a console. From the sick storylines, to the over the top characters, this game reeks of awesomeness. Maybe there's not a lot of blood or gore, but this game is packed with images that will have you reeling in pain. Just watching what your character goes through is enough to make you want to scream.
This game is a perfect 10 in my book.
Satan's School for Girls (1973)
A bad movie.
Contains Spoiler As far as TV movies go, this has to be one of the worse. There are a few scenes that can be remotely considered good, the scene where she first enters the wine celler. That scene actually held my attention, as for the rest of the movie I laughed at it, and not in a good way. As for everyone else who says this movie is great, they must have been stoned while viewing it, the acting had me staring in disbelief in my own stupidity for purchasing it, and the directing had me throwing up. Everyone who watched it with me said about the same thing "What the hell is that", I had to quietly slink away to avoid the embarrassment. The movie did have some promise, with the woman that kills herself(supposedly), but it is basically downhill from there. I give it a 2/10. 2 points for the 2 good scenes.