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Reviews
Bones: The Critic in the Cabernet (2009)
Forgotton storyline?
This seems to be a very important episode to the characters. Bones just randomly announces that she wants to have a baby. Her reasons are all wrong & everyone tries to gently tell her that.
And then it's gone. I'm 16 episodes later right now & it's like this episode never happened. What the heck?
Bones: The Man in the Bear (2005)
Confused about the killer
I don't understand why the veterinarian isn't the killer? She's not a vet. She can't be. No veterinarian, no matter how drunk they were, would use the word autopsy instead of necropsy. I even went back to watch the scene again, thinking maybe I misheard. So, from that scene on, I assumed she was the killer, or at least that there was something off about her, yet they never explained what. I was so confused by the end that I couldn't enjoy this episode.
The Mentalist: Black Cherry (2012)
Lompoc
5 years and they finally figured out how to pronounce the city of "Lompoc." - SLOcal.
New Tricks: Magic Majestic (2008)
Disappointed with Season 5
The plots are getting predictable. I knew the murderer in this episode and the previous straight off. In Season 4, the writers opened all these threads about the character's personal lives, then acted like they never happened. Will Sandra find the truth about her father? Will she ever find a boyfriend? What about Jack?? No one talks about what happened in S4's finale, or how he ran off without asking for leave. I'm not even sure he still talks to Mary. Make up your mind, writers. Either follow up on backstories or concentrate on great UCOS cases, but please don't fail to do either.
Autumn Lights (2016)
Rated R
I can't fairly write a review because I didn't finish it. But in case you're looking for a rating it's definitely R/16+/MA.
Max Rules (2004)
Just OK
Similar to "Spy Kids," this movie features 3 kids who are good at espionage, martial arts, hacking, and masterminding complicated plans. Most of their pranks, such as orchestrating a food fight at school, are harmless until they get involved in a plot to steal top-secret government files and so the movie is about them trying to recover the stolen information.
Since it's every kid's (and a few adults) dream to be a secret agent, this movie will probably occupy its target audience fairly well. However, the acting was really bad, the character development was non-existent, and the special effects weren't very special for a 2005 movie. It's also entirely unbelievable, but I expected that.
Basically, it just falls flat. It will not go down in history as a great movie, nor spin-off into a TV show, nor be the next "must buy" DVD. It just wasn't anything special. I did like the ending, though.
So, if your expectations are low, and you just want a fun, family-friendly movie to occupy your 7-year-old, go for it. You'll enjoy it. But otherwise, I wouldn't recommend.
El lince perdido (2008)
Well-done animated family movie
This is a cute animated tale. It's about a clumsy Spanish lynx and his friends who are stolen from an animal rehabilitation shelter by an eccentric man who wants to help these endangered animals, but is going about it all wrong - including hiring a trophy-hunting poacher to help him capture the animals. The jinxed lynx and a few others escape and try to rescue the other animals.
The animation was good, nothing special (it's not a big budget film), but no obvious problems, either. The voice casting was average and I didn't recognize the voices - I guess the original was in Spanish, I don't know because I watched it on Netflix Play Instantly and it only has an English version available - so everyone had British accents. The characters were very good, funny, and likable. The humor was good (no stupid fart jokes) and I'd expect it would be a good family film. It was pretty fast-paced and had a lot of action scenes; some scenes may be scary for young children.
Overall, the message was good, but did have some flaws. The animal shelter was a positive place where animals could be rehabilitated and then released to the wild. However, I'm not sure that the whole "what good is it to be alive if you're not free" idea is environmentally sound. There are some species that are so critically endangered that captive breeding programs are the ONLY way to preserve the species.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Great Movie, but the book is better
This was one of the better Harry Potter films. I thought the acting and character development was good, as well as the sets, costuming, music and other basics that make a film good. Alan Rickman (Severus Snape) is genius, as always, and Bonnie Wright (Ginny Weasley) is excellent as well.
As for the storyline, the movie pales in comparison to the book – but then, when was the last time you saw a movie that was better than the book? That's to be expected. There are some major changes, including the addition of an action scene and the subtraction of another action scene. Also, they leave out some important information that Dumbledore discusses with Harry and a significant portion of the ending, but maybe they plan to do that in the next film. Even with the darker mood, they do manage to get some humor in there, which is one of my favorite things about the books.
However, I did think the lighting in the movie was too dark. I realize that this is on purpose to set the mood, but I'd rather see the actors in a movie than have the perfect mood setting. I also thought there were some times when the film moved too slowly. I thought the foreshadowing was too obvious, but maybe for someone who hasn't read the books it wouldn't be.
I think the movie would probably be confusing to people who haven't read the books. I started reading them after becoming confused by the 4th movie, and the movies, I assume, have just become considerably more confusing each year. These films, also, are part of a series and are not meant to be watched alone any more than one book in a series is meant to be read alone. Anyone jumping in at movie #6 with no previous Harry Potter in their lives will be at a complete loss.
Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers (2004)
Wonderful film for Disney fans of all ages
The classic Disney characters are back in their first "full-length" film! I loved this movie (and I don't even have children). The roles fit Mickey, Donald, and Goofy perfectly -- it's surprising Disney didn't do this story a long time ago. The operettic score was hilarious, especially when there's a sword fight right in the middle of the Pirates of Penzance's "Modern Major General." The story is cute, and since it takes place about 15 years after the famous D'artagnan, Aramis, Athos, and Porthos, no one can complain about Disney's creative license with the story. All the classic Disney characters are part of the cast, with one new supporting character, a tortoise who narrates the story (I like him too, he reminds me a bit of the tortoise in Disney's animated Robin Hood). However, I do have a few logistical complaints. The DVD should have had a commentary, it was poorly advertised, and it should have been a little longer if we're going to claim it as Mickey's first full-length film (it's only 60 minutes, plus 8 minutes of end titles). Also, because it was straight-to-video it has a bit of that low-budget feel to it. (On the other hand, how horrible if they had released it in theaters in CGI animation! Just in case you didn't know, Disney is no longer doing 2D animation for theater releases.)
Clarence, the Cross-Eyed Lion (1965)
Don't add this one to your family classics collection
There are many wonderful animal-themed family movies out there, but this is not one of them. About the movie in general: The script is poor, the characters are stereotyped and undeveloped, and the acting is poor, except Richard Haydn (Mr. Rowbotham) who adds some comic relief to an otherwise uncomical family comedy. Cheryl Miller (as Paula) displays some of the worst acting I have ever seen, as she tries to play a character that appears to be about 10 years younger than she actually is. It is very obvious when the movie cuts to nature film footage, and when the gorillas are real and when they are someone in a costume, but considering the date of the movie, perhaps this was forgivable. Also, for a G-rated family film, there are a surprising number of swear words and there are several mildly violent scenes.
About the way wildlife is portrayed in the movie: On the positive side, the characters are trying to help wildlife, and the message that poachers are bad is very clear. However, the way that wild animals are portrayed as pets is terrible. The ideas that wild lions can be tamed with chocolate cake, that animals can be captured and released without any worry about human imprinting, or that a chimpanzee makes a good companion to a gorilla field researcher are all incredulous. And that's just the beginning. Also, the "leopard" is actually a jaguar.
The Princess Bride (1987)
Why everyone must watch this movie and why I think you'll want to.
Comments: One of the best movies of all time. With an excellent cast, and just the right amount of action, comedy, fantasy, and romance, this is a movie you'll want to see again and again. It is the only movie I can watch over and over and never tire of. It does have purposely overdone humor, so I guess if you have no sense of humor at all I wouldn't recommend it to you. However, if you like sword fights, people with accents, princesses, great one-liners, or just long for the days when there was such a thing as true love, then it is the right movie for you. Also, I would strongly recommend the book, which is also by William Goldman.
Summary: Buttercup's heart died the day she found out that her dear sweet Westley was killed by the Dread Pirate Roberts. Prince Humperdinck decides to marry Buttercup, not caring whether or not she likes him, since he plans to kill her anyway. The Prince hires three guys - one a master swordsman, another a champion wrestler, and the third the brains of the operation - to kidnap Buttercup. Will the Man in Black be able to overcome the kidnappers and save Buttercup? Inconceivable! And who is the Man in Black? Will twue wuv twiumph? And that is only the beginning . . .
An important comment: Most people I know have at least part of "The Princess Bride" memorized, and, honestly, if you don't know what "mostly dead" means, then you're really not worth talking to. Helpful tip: If for some strange reason you don't like this movie, don't tell anyone -- that is, unless you want to be ostracized from normal American society.