hales_r_us Reviews

The Rules of Attraction (2002)

potential

[5/10 · 30 July 2003]

This movie was obviously trying to emulate "Pulp Fiction" style. It succeeds in some ways, but in most ways it's just annoying. It lacks the depth and substance, it's really not much different from any other teen sex/drugs/alchohol movie, except that it's executed in a slightly more unique fashion. And it dragged on just a little too long...

Crossroads (I) (2002)

NO!

[1/10 · 30 July 2003]

Please don't waste your time on this movie. The only people who may possibly like it are those people who think that Britney's music is brilliant. And even those people can't deny that Britney can't act. This movie lacked everything. When you read the plot, it looks as though it could have some meaning to it, maybe even a little more than some other teen movies. But it isn't so. And it's so silly, like Britney's character writing that poem that turns out to be the lyrics to that stupid, ' not a girl, not yet a woman', whatever it is. And then the guy writes music for it and she automatically starts singing along perfectly, she automatically knows the tune even though she hasn't heard it yet, and so forth. And don't even get me started on the karaoke contest scene, the cover of "I love rock 'n roll" is a travesty. This is another pitiful pop star attempt at being a movie star. Doesn't work at all.

The Sweetest Thing (2002)

no, thankyou

[1/10 · 29 July 2003]

This movie was pitiful. Someone who may be looking for a really, really, REALLY stupid comedy may enjoy it, but I would advise against it. At least other gross-out comedies are funny, this one is like an inappropriate childrens' video. All the stupid singalongs and dance numbers are unrealistic and corny. The way the entire restaurant knew the penis song and dance automatically was ridiculous. And the "movie montage" was just a way to fill 2 minutes of wasted time. All the people involved in this movie should be severely punished.

The Mummy (1932)

very frightening

[8/10 · 29 July 2003]

This movie is definately a horror classic. Of course, compared to current slasher movies it's seen as old campy material. But this movie is genuinely creepy. The closeup shots of Boris Karloff's eyes make you jump. Definately worth watching.

Chicago (2002)

hhhhhhmmmm...

[5/10 · 24 July 2003]

I was told before i saw this that it was the best movie of the year and that I absolutely HAD to see it. I recieved a huge buildup...maybe that's why i didn't love it. It was lots of fun but I was a little dissapointed. Rennee Zellweger wasn't bad and neither was Catherine Zeta Jones. But I think that Richard Gere and Queen Latifah deserve more credit, they probably acted the best. The soundtrack also isn't great because without the visuals it brings out how mediocre a lot of the singing is...if you like the music I recommend purchasing the new broadway cast cd. I did enjoy this movie, but it was not as good as it was cracked up to be and it CERTAINLY did not deserve best picture.

Gangs of New York (2002)

could have been fantastic, but...

[7/10 · 24 July 2003]

This movie could have been fantastic if it had been made to aim less at the mainstream american audience. What I mean is, although I do appreciate some of the violence in that it opens people's eyes about the situation at the time, there was to much of it. Also, two very attractive and very popular actors were cast in the leads ( Leo DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz.) DiCaprio seemed out of place, due to his pretty boy image, but was believable because he has done a decent job in movies of this type. However casting Cameron Diaz was the biggest mistake that could have been made with this movie. She belongs doing gross out comedy, not in Martin Scorsese historical epics. She also doesn't deserve to be alongside Daniel Day Lewis, who was absolutely brilliant, and always continues to amaze. If you have 3 hours of your time that you would like to spend watching a halfway decent movie, then watch this movie, otherwise choose another.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

well...it's certainly funny

[6/10 · 11 July 2003]

This movie was definately missing something without James Cameron and Linda Hamilton. The special effects were fantastic, and everything else was lukewarm. There was the fair share of humor in this movie that wasn't in the earlier ones...our society has made such a joke out of Arnold's mannerisms and accent in this movie that they movie itself makes fun of it. For example, when Nick Stahl is asking the Terminator if he remembers John from before, and he's like "Do the words 'Asta la Vista, baby' mean anything to you?" and so forth. This movie also takes advantage of the fact that the T-X is a really hot blonde 5'11 woman. Very corny parts with her include when she gets pulled over and, spotting the Victoria's Secret "What is Sexy" billboard, makes her breasts grow about 5 inches...and then when the cop comes she says in her seductive voice, "I like your GUN." In terms of acting, it's what you'd expect from a Terminator movie...Arnold IS the Terminator, so no complaints there, and Nick Stahl fills in nicely as John Connor, though I think I speak for a lot of people when I say it would have been nice to see Eddie Furlong again. Claire Danes was a little more sketchy. A lot of her movies have been either flops (Polish Wedding, the Mod Squad) or just plain bad (Brokedown Palace), but she has made enough of a career out of pretty good movies (the Hours, Romeo and Juliet, Igby Goes Down) that I don't think the hard core action is her thing. She's like a little girl in the movie and just looks uncomfortable blowing things up with machine guns...although the script has given her some scenes that were so lame that it would be hard for anyone to act them well ( ie telling the T-X to "Just die you bitch!"). Overall, this movie was alright...the humor and action make it enjoyable, and any hardcore Terminator fan will enjoy.

Spice World (1997)

this is the biggest piece of crap ever made

[1/10 · 28 May 2003]

I don't get why so many people are giving this movie "it's really not too bad" reviews. It is on of the worst movies ever made. The Spice Girls cannot act, the dialogue sounds like it was written by my 4 year old nephew, and the happenings are so unrealistic to the point that i can't find any humor in it. For example the Spice Girls get out of their bus to use the bathroom in the woods and run into a bunch of aliens that look as though they're wearing cardboard costumes and then the aliens ask if there are any tickets for the concert and ask for autographs. HA HA HA. Or all those fictional daydream scenes ie the one when the girls have all had like 10 kids and they're old and worn out... I can't believe that a group of extremely respectable actors agreed to be in this movie but it probably will be a permanent bruise in their careers. It's really no wonder that the redhead left the group soon after this movie was released and the group went straight downhill from there. Please, please, PLEASE don't waste your money or your time watching this peice of cinematic crap.