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Coventry
Main Entry: exclusion
Definition: expulsion; forbiddance
Synonyms: ban, bar, blackball, blockade, boycott, cut, debarment, debarring, discharge, dismissal, ejection, elimination, embargo, eviction, exception, excommunication, interdict, interdicting, interdiction, keeping out, lockout, nonadmission, occlusion, omission, ostracism, ousting, preclusion, prevention, prohibition, proscription, refusal, rejection, relegation, removal, repudiation, segregation, separation, suspension, veto
Antonyms: acceptance, addition, admittance, allowance, inclusion, incorporation, welcome
send to Coventry, to refuse to associate with; openly and pointedly ignore: His friends sent him to Coventry after he was court-martialed.
People from the music industry that I respect, idolize or just simply appreciate: Ennio Morricone, Amy McDonald, Daan, David Bowie, Therion, Pink Floyd, Leonard Cohen, Alice Cooper, Neil Diamond, Joy Division, Bobby Darin, the Everly Brothers, Bobby Vinton, Gene Pitney, Herman's Hermits, The Hollies, The Animals, The Byrds, Donovan, Vargoth, Drudkh, Behemoth, Triggerfinger, Falkenbach, Finntroll, Einherjer, The Smiths, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, BB King, Ministry, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Rufus Wainwright, The Allman Brothers Band, Johnny Cash, Paul Simon, Raymond Lefèvre, Children of Bodom, Volbeat, Elvis Presley, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Waits, Anathema, Velvet Underground, Norah Jones, Fatboy Slim, Moloko, Angelo Badalmenti, Sarah Brightman, Lady Antebellum, Enigma, Muse, Army of Lovers, Chris Isaak, Lesley Gore, Kasabian, Pearl Jam, dEUS, Mumford & Sons, The Subs, Nirvana, Soundgarden, Cuff the Duke, Pulp, Oscar and the Wolf,
People from the movie industry that I respect, idolize or just simply appreciate: John Saxon, Mario Bava, Joe D'Amato, George Eastman, Darren Lynn Bousman, Boris Karloff, Enzo G. Castellari, Bo Svenson, Fred Williamson, Antonio Margheriti, Klaus Kinski, Lloyd Kaufman, James Gunn, Rob Zombie, Sid Haig, Matthew McGrory, Karen Black, Dennis Fimple, Irwin Keyes, Tom Towles, Bill Moseley, Wolfgang Petersen, Nicol Williamson, Fairuza Balk, Piper Laurie, Philippe Mora, Tom Holland, Ronny Cox, Lucio Fulci, Christopher George, Giovanni Lombardo Radice, Catriona MacColl, Fabio Frizzi, Nicolas Cage, Todd Farmer, Tom Atkins, Paul Verhoeven, Kurtwood Smith, Miguel Ferrer, Ray Wise, Stuart Gordon, H.P. Lovecraft, Jeffrey Combs, David Gale, Barbara Crampton, Fernando Di Leo, Joe Dallesandro, Terence Fisher, Anton Diffring, Hazel Court, Christopher Lee, Robert Stevenson, William Girdler, Rebecca De Mornay, Mako, Ti West, Tom Noonan, Mary Woronov, Paul Bartel, David Carradine, Roger Corman, Adrian Hoven, Monte Hellman, Warren Oates, Harry Dean Stanton, Steve Railsback, Ed Begley Jr., Peter Fonda, Nathan Juran, Lionel Jeffries, James Glickenhaus, Ken Wahl, Joaquim de Almeida, Sam Peckinpah, William Holden, Ernest Borgnine, Ben Johnson, Edmond O'Brien, Kurt Raab, Helene Cattet & Bruno Forzani, Karl Freund, Peter Lorre, Colin Clive, William Lustig, Joe Spinell, Caroline Munro, Tom Savini, Charles B. Pierce, Robert Wise, Fred Dekker, Fritz Lang, David Hemmings, Michael Ironside, Jan-Michael Vincent, Bette Davis, Joseph Cotten, Agnes Moorehead, Victor Buono, George Kennedy, Charles Bronson, Richard Fleischer, Elmore Leonard, Paul Koslo, Michael Winner, Brian Garfield, Lee Marvin, J. Lee Thompson, Riz Ortolani, Yul Brunner, Eli Wallach, Robert Vaughn, James Coburn, Steve McQueen, Michael Crichton, James Brolin, Mel Brooks, arry Cohen, Michael Moriarty, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Robin Hardy, Edward Woodward, Britt Ekland, Ingrid Pitt, Peter Cushing, Michael Gough, Herbert Lom, Udo Kier, Michael Reeves, Vincent Price, Ian Ogilvy, Dick Maas, Henri-Georges Clouzot, Paul Naschy, Paul Morrissey, Truman Capote, Peter Falk, Alec Guinness, David Niven, Elsa Lanchester, Peter Sellers, Gene Wilder, Patrick McGoohan, Herb Freed, Richard Kiel, John Landis, Tim Curry, Simon Pegg, Jenny Agutter, Frank Oz, Dario Argento, Quentin Tarantino, Everett De Roche, Stacy Keach, Russell Mulcahy, Brian Trenchard-Smith, Donald Pleasence, George Peppard, Simon Wincer, Narciso Ibáñez Serrador, Gary Sherman, Faith Domergue, Alexandre Aja, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Eli Roth, Ishirô Honda, Greydon Clark, Cybill Shepherd, Neville Brand, Vincent Schiavelli, Martin Landau, Jack Palance, Alan Rudolph, Jonathan Demme, Pam Grier, Mark L. Lester, Malcolm McDowell, Patrick Kilpatrick, Don Dohler, Everett McGill, Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Jake Busey, Charlton Heston, Lorne Greene, Walter Matthau, Peter Bogdanovich, Woody Allen, John Milius, Franco Nero, Crispin Glover, Dennis Hopper, Dick Miller, Barbara Steele, Armando Crispino, Sergio Grieco, Helmut Berger, Lee Van Cleef, Robert Forster, John Huston, Melvyn Douglas, Douglas Fairbanks Jr., George Miller, Mel Gibson, Robert Rodriguez, George Hilton, Kane Hodder, Michael Madsen, Tony Todd, Nicolas Winding Refn, William Grefe, Cirio H. Santiago , Joe Dante, Don Coscarelli, Angus Schrimm, Tobe Hooper, Tiffany Shepis, Brad Dourif, George P. Cosmatos, John Boorman, Stephen Boyd, Tommy Lee Jones, Rod Steiger, Brian DePalma, Gunnar Hansen, George A. Romero, Simon Boyes, Adam Mason, Jack Arnold, M. Emmet Walsh, James Stewart, Darren McGavin, Kathleen Quinlan, Jack Lemmon, Robert Foxworth, Olivia De Havilland, Michael Pataki, Jerry Stiller, John Carradine, Julian Sands, Freddie Francis, Don Sharp, William Castle, Bill Rebane, John De Bello, Terry O'Quinn, Peter Sykes, Wes Craven, Michael Sarrazin, Lewis Teague, Yaphet Kotto, Sergio Stivaletti, John Phillip Law, Michele Soavi, Umberto Lenzi, Anna Falchi, Lon Chaney, Sergio Martino, Edwige Fenech, Ursula Andress, Michael Sopkiw, Edmund Purdom, Hal Yamanouchi, Barbara Bach, Cameron, Mitchell, Alberto De Martino, Ernesto Gastaldi, Maurizio Merli, John Steiner, Mel Ferrer, Barbara Bouchet, Marty Feldman, Tomas Milian, Bruno Mattei, Lamberto Bava, Luc Merenda, Anita Strindberg, Luigi Pistilli, Ivan Rassimov, Sergio Corbucci, Tito Carpi, David Warbeck, Luciano Pigozzi, Gianfranco Giagni, Florinda Balkan, Rosalba Neri, Mel Welles, Dagmar Lassander, Neil Jordan, Walter Huston, Ray Bradbury, Gregory Peck, Orson Welles, Bert I. Gordon, H.G. Wells, Ida Lupino, Kirk Douglas, David Lynch, Eddie Romero, Bela Lugosi, Al Adamson, Tor Johnson, Edward D. Wood Jr, David Cronenberg, Christopher Walken, Tom Skeritt, Martin Sheen, Dino De Laurentiis, James Wan, Anthonhy Perkins, Curtis Harrington, Julie Harris, Ornella Muti, Ray Lovelock
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Endangered Species (2021)
Dysfunctional families shouldn't go on Safaris...
Respect for the massively entertaining movies she made more than a decade and a half ago, like "Wilderness" and "Solomon Kane", but writer/director M. J. Bassett's "Endangered Species" is a hopelessly cliched, derivative, unexciting, overly moralizing, and annoyingly digitized action/adventure thriller.
It's probably not a good idea for families that are non-stop fighting and come across as borderline dysfunctional to go on a safari-vacation in Kenya. The father has been fired from his job and can't really afford such an expensive holiday. The homosexual son desperately seeks recognition, the rebellious daughter and her boyfriend ruin the ambiance for no reason, and the diabetic mother want to uphold appearances. When they are also extremely dumb to illegally trespass a wildlife reservation and go off road, they can only blame themselves for getting trampled by rhinos, cornered by hyenas, and mauled by cheetahs.
"Endangered Species" still could have been a mindless and entertaining creature-feature, even if all the computerized animals look laughably fake, but halfway through MJ Bassett insists on turning into a requiem for nearly extinct animal. Of course, poaching is a horrendous crime, and everyone in the world (hopefully) hates relentless people that butcher animals for ivory, but being so dramatic about it totally ruins a film. The poachers don't even get the painful and bloody deaths they deserve.
FOMO (2022)
Forget "likes"... How many "kills" is what really matters!
Yours truly was born in the early 80s and grew up in the careless and largely anti-digital 90s. With only two blunt statements, I can illustrate that I probably wasn't part of the target audience for this film. Number one: until I looked it up, I had no idea what the title meant. Apparently, it stands for "fear of missing out" and describes a bizarre social media condition that we, nineties kids, didn't have to worry about. Number two: I honestly can't understand the phenomenon of "influencers". In my view - and I know I'm old - it's not a job, and they are the most useless people in the world. What makes anyone think he/she is important or interesting enough to share his/her thoughts and selfies with the world?
Anyway, there are nevertheless a few aspects with which "FOMO" attracted my attention. I'm a tremendous fan of old-fashioned 80s-styled horror/slasher movies, for starters, and I also have a profound fondness for movies made in my own beloved home country of Belgium (and, more particularly, in Flanders). So, when I found out "FOMO" is a combo of both, and that it revolves around dim-witted, self-centered, and disposable influencers brutally getting butchered in and around a remote cabin in the woods, I simply had to see it.
I can't quite figure out why "FOMO" has such a low rating (currently 3/10) around here. Sure, it isn't a masterpiece of cinema, but it's reasonably well-made, hugely entertaining, and - most importantly - it ticks all the mandatory boxes of a genuine slasher. There's the remote setting, a psycho with a cool mask (digital smiley-faces), nasty and blood-soaked kills (scalping, beheading, throat-slitting, bludgeoning, ...), and - as said before - clueless victims you don't really care if they live or die. Even the concept is good: the ten most popular influencers of the country are taken to a remote location, supposedly to partake in a big TV/Social Media contest. On the tour bus they are still lusciously vlogging and streaming, but at the cabin they promptly must hand over their mobile phones and the pleasant ambience rudely changes. During the "assignments", the group painfully learns they have been lured out by a deranged killer with an even bigger hatred for influencers than I do.
The set-up of "FOMO" is rather unusual. The film ends abruptly and unresolved, like many slashers do, but instead of a sequel there came four TV-episodes of approximately half an hour each. The episodes aren't mini-slasher movies, though. The tone and format change and suddenly it becomes a mix between torture-porn, crazed dysfunctional families, and sick mind-games. Personally, I like straightforward slashing a lot more, and the episodes feel quite redundant. They also haven't been added (yet?) on IMDb.
Gina (1975)
Such a lonely stripper girl in a cold textile world...
After long and careful consideration, I don't see any other option than to categorize this film in the league of "interesting failures", otherwise known as the "Yes but No" category. "Gina" is a curiously compelling and unique film, but I can't possibly describe it as good or recommendable. This movie serves the weirdest combo of topics that I have ever seen; seriously. It's a harsh social drama, criticizing the harsh labor conditions and low wages of people working in contemporary textile factories in Canada, but simultaneously it also builds up towards a typically mid-70s Rape & Revenge exploitation thriller.
Gina, a strong and independent exotic dancer moves to a remote Vancouver community where everybody works in the nearby textile plant. In the bar/motel where she works and lives, Gina befriends a film crew that is shooting a documentary on the unfair working conditions at the factory, but she also gets frequently confronted with drunk, depressed, and aggressive local males.
There's an uncannily captivating atmosphere in "Gina" that keeps you glued to the screen, but there honestly isn't happening anything at all throughout the first complete hour. To illustrate this: the film features how four people play a game of pool from start to finish, or endlessly drive around on snow scooters. Only the climax becomes reasonably eventful, with a stoic gang rape and a brutal retribution aboard an abandoned ship.
(*) User-comment title inspired by the lyrics of Falco's "Jeanny"
Ratboy (1986)
Haha ha haha, poor Clint Eastwood!
Let's face it, everybody who watched "Ratboy" has suffered irreparably. It's a terrible movie and I cannot imagine anyone would like it, or even be gently for in their criticism. But hey, at least all of us had to struggle through it only once and can joyously bad-mouth it on the internet. Imagine poor Clint Eastwood! Clint was in a long-term relationship with director/lead actress Sondra Loncke, so he undoubtedly had to be very gentle and careful to pass the message her movie was awful. Even worse, Clint - either voluntarily or involuntarily - produced the film via his own company Malpaso! Since he starred in, and directed, so many downright great movies Eastwood, I find it rather difficult to believe he didn't spot early in the process that "Ratboy" would become a ginormous dud.
This film is an embarrassment from every possible angle. Sondra Loncke is a horrible actress, and an even worse director. The plot is monotonous and deadly dull, and the stereotypes used in the script are infuriating. Kidnappers are dim-witted and elderly homeless men, and every black person is either a pimp or a conman. The make-up and snout of the titular character is the best aspect, but whenever he opens his mouth to speak - even when it's simply to say his name Eugene - everything is ruined again. Moral of the story: when everybody else attempts of exploit a weak and naive individual, it's okay for you to do the same.
Vaxdockan (1962)
Please do not disturb Norman Bates when he's with his mannequin doll.
Mr. Lundgren - first name unknown - is an unhealthily introvert 30-something fella who works as a night watchman in a mall and lives in a boarding house in the suburbs of Stockholm. Despite many other lively tenants and a clear romantical interest from his landlady, Lundgren is incapable to make social contact and feels incredibly lonely. After a banal robbery at his workplace, he smuggles home a mannequin doll and develops an intense (and very vivid) relationship with it. After a while, Lundgren's neighbors grow increasingly curious about the noises coming from his apartment, but also his own mental state and imagination deteriorate.
Admittedly this sounds like the premise of a trashy and tongue-in-cheek exploitation flick, but in the capable hands of director Arne Mattson ("Mannequin in Red") and thanks to a downright phenomenal performance by Per Oscarsson ("Sult"), "The Doll" became a saddening drama and a complex mental character study.
The script is undeniably influenced by "Psycho", but it certainly isn't a rip-off. Two years after the release of Hitchcock's horror monument, the only real thing that Arne Mattson copies is the mystifying persona of Norman Bates. Like Bates, Lundgren superficially seems like a privileged man. He's handsome, polite, well-dressed, independent, ... But beneath the surface there's a deeply disturbed and potentially dangerous mind in need of help.
Should you search for action or cheap horror thrills, "The Doll" will sorely disappoint you. It's slow-paced (and perhaps a tad bit overlong) but uncannily atmospheric, beautifully filmed, brilliantly acted, and compelling straight from the eerie opening song until the desolate climax.
Victor Frankenstein (1977)
From Sweden, with a true passion for Mary Shelley
People who, like me, grew up in the nineties believing Kenneth Branagh's 1994 film was the ultimate and utmost faithful adaptation of the legendary Mary Shelley novel "Frankenstein" really ought to seek out this rare but excellent Swedish/Irish co-production from 1977. Except for one or two storylines and few design details, "Victor Frankenstein" closely follows the original novel, and - moreover - it's a magnificent but sadly forgotten horror film.
I can't think of a logical reason why the film is so obscure, but I can name several reasons why it's so good and comes so highly recommended. For starters, the story that Mrs. Shelley penned down remains unique and worth telling in all its original glory. As much as I love the James Whale classic, starring the immortal Boris Karloff, or Hammer's gruesome version featuring Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, those classics made (too) many changes to the character of Victor Frankenstein and the "creature" he resurrected. Shelley's novel, and hence the screenplay of this film, revolves around a scientist who isn't evil or megalomaniacal, but simply obsessed and blinded by ambition. Once he succeeds to bring a human corpse back from the dead, Victor abruptly realizes he isn't entitled to play God, and abandons his creation. The Monster, who never asked to exist or live in solitude, seeks revenge and murders Victor's loved ones. The fallen scientist pursues his "mistake" to the end of the world (literally, the North Pole) to destroy him. In short, there's a lot more drama and melancholy in the novel - and in this faithful adaptation - than in most "Frankenstein" film versions out there.
Also, everything about "Victor Frankenstein" looks and feels exactly right! The gloomy early 19th century setting, the atmospheric scenery and filming locations (like the morgue, Frankenstein's attic, the blind man's house...), the slow but unnerving pace, the ominous music, the cruelly nihilistic murders committed by the creature, the minimalistic but highly efficient make-up, and the sublime casting. The depiction of Frankenstein's Monster, by the great Per Oscarsson, is fantastic. He authentically looks... dead. The skin is pale, the eyes are blood-red, the lips are black, but his posture nevertheless remains imposing. Leon Vitali is also perfect as Victor Frankenstein. He's not an arrogant and all-knowing scientist/doctor, but a young and naïve student who overestimated himself and underestimated the consequences of his acts.
Of course, there are elements that could be considered as weaknesses or shortcomings. The whole resurrection process, with the electrical offloading via a kite, seems ridiculously simple and unscientific. The creature is also astonishingly eloquent, intelligent, has a phenomenal sense for orientation, and travels at the speed of light over land and water. However, I'm not sure if these illogicalities can be blamed on the film, as they may have been taken over straight from the book. I should read it again. Everyone should...
The Hole in the Ground (2019)
Help! My child makes friends at school! He picks flowers for me! He partakes in talent shows! He's a monster!
"The Hole in the Ground" is NOT a bad film, but it is - with all due respect - the type of nowadays horror cinema I'm really getting fed up with. It's always the same: melancholic characters (usually a struggling single mother), a vague folklore legend as inspiration, a pseudo-intelligent script that leaves you with more questions than answers, two or three predictable but nevertheless shocking moments, everlasting helicopter shots of forests & treetops, dead-eyes children, confused open ending, etc. Etc.
It was truly boring and unengaging from the very first minute, but perhaps I missed the sheer brilliance once again, since writer/director Lee Cronin got a one-way ticket to Hollywood thanks to this film, and immediately made an impression there as well with "Evil Dead Rise". This unremarkable film is inspired by Irish folklore tales and revolves around a courageous young woman who, together with her timid and introvert son Christopher, goes to live in a remote cabin in a little town near a forest. They discover a massive - and I do mean massive - sinkhole close to their house, and shortly after Christopher starts behaving strangely. The old hag neighbor yells that Christopher isn't Sarah's real son, and we all know she's right, even though everyone claims she's crazy. And Christopher obviously has changed, but it's for the better! Suddenly, he does make friends at school and takes part in activities. Keep him, I'd say, even though he's most likely a changeling. Okay, so he eats spiders. Nobody's perfect!
My apologies, but the only way for me to make the viewing of films like "The Hole in the Ground" bearable is by being sarcastic about it. I was bored and distracted very early on, and it only got worse. The tense and scary parts were clichéd and predictable, the sequence in which mommy dearest is thrown back and forth in the kitchen is just silly, and the ending... Well, I dozed off, to be honest, and couldn't be bothered rewind.
Child's Play (2019)
Chucky 2.0: Charles Lee A.I
Don't you just love it when all your prejudices get swiped off the table and you're proven wrong entirely? It may sound weird, but I love it when I stumble upon a film that I avoided or initially refused to see because of prejudices, and then it turns out an unexpected and pleasant surprise! From the moment it was released, I ignored the 2019 version of "Child's Play", because I didn't want to hear anything about a new and unnecessary remake of yet another childhood favorite of mine (and especially not if the new Chucky doll looks so darn ugly!)
Five years later, however, I discover this is NOT a "remake" in the traditional meaning of the term and, moreover, a very solid and entertaining horror flick that stands on itself entirely! Maybe the makers should have opted for a completely different title and totally different doll-design? Then again, of course, comparisons to "Child's Play" always would have been made.
It's different? How so? Well, the Chucky doll doesn't get possessed by the spirit of an evil serial killer this time! No Brad Dourif shouting "Ade Due Damballa", followed by thunderclouds. The reason why Chucky goes bonkers and psychopathic is because the artificial intelligence components of one single doll were tampered with by a depressed and exploited worker in a Vietnamese toy factory. The poor guy messes up the ugly redhead doll's security measures, such as removing the moral and ethical values, and then he commits suicide. The doll ends up in the production line, anyway, and is shipped to America. Because the packaging is damaged, young single mother Karen finally gets the chance to give a beautiful and hip gift to her 13-year-old son Andy.
It may all sound a bit far-fetched and unbelievable, but actually it's a lot more realistic than the plot of the original "Child's Play" with spiritual possession. It's also great to see that the Buddi doll (because it's no longer called Good Guy) is fully compatible with all electronic devices in the house. The rest of the plot remains fairly intact, although it's also the plot of two-thousand other horror movies. Nobody believes weird little Andy when he claims there's something wrong with his doll, and even his mother believes that he killed the housecat himself.
Another prejudice I had in my head was that "Child's Play" would be very tame and bloodless. I never bothered to check the rating, but I assumed it would be PG-13, like all the other remakes of brutal 80s horror movies. Well, wrong again! "Child's Play" is very, very solid when it comes to horror, and contains several bloody murder scenes and some very efficient shocking moments. Get ready for explicit murders committed circular saws, garden machinery, and kitchen knives! The finale is also very gruesome, with absurd situations in the shopping mall.
The acting performances are more than decent. Aubrey Plaza is very young and quite atypical to play the mother of a 13-year-old boy, but there is an explanation given to it, namely: "I had a very active sweet-sixteen party". The script is full of cynical details like these, such as the mother's loathsome lover who returns to his wife and daughters in the evening, a tough policeman who still lives with his mother, a pervy apartment block janitor, and neighborhood kids who are left to look after themselves. A final bull's-eye was the choice to hire Mark "Luke Skywalker" Hamill to provide Chucky with a voice. The voice fits really well! Of course, I'm not going to claim that the new voice is better than Brad Dourif's, but it's still a very wise choice!
PS: in case you're an old-fashioned (80s) horror fanatic and STILL not convinced to seek out "Child's Play", then this closing argument may persuade you. The film features original footage from Tobe Hooper's cult favorite "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part II", and it's the gore in that film that inspires Chucky to do nasty things.
De zeemeerman (1996)
Smells ... fishy!
Many people from The Netherlands, where this movie originates from, refer to it as the worst movie ever made in their country. And you know what? Those many people are right, "De Zeemeerman" is a hopeless dud.
And yet, the project once started out as one of the more ambitious Dutch film-ideas in history. Director/Co-writer Frank Herrebout got inspired by the massive international success of "Jurassic Park" and wanted to make The Netherlands' very own Sci-Fi/adventure about megalomaniacal scientists, genetic experiments gone wrong, and freaky creatures on the loose. It was going to be spectacular, with never-before-seen hi-tech special effects and lots of international appeal, but alas...
"De Zeemeerman" became a big flop. The plot is far too preposterous, ridiculous, implausible, infantile, and imbecilic for a Sci-Fi/fantasy. It feels more like a light-hearted sex-comedy, and that's eventually also what the film poster wanted you to believe, but it isn't nearly funny or sexy enough. In the end, it's absolutely nothing at all. Or, like the famous local expression says, it's neither fish nor meat.
Deranged scientist Swezick inserts a fertilized female egg into the uterus of a sea lion and flushes the animal down the toilet. Nine months later, there's a baby floating in the sea who can breathe underwater. He's rescued by two fishermen that raise him, and he grows up to be a handsome young man with sadly one insurmountable problem: he smells incredibly fishy! Better said, he stinks of fish! When the two fishermen die in a silly way, Tony is on his own. He is excluded, cheated, and bullied, but through a friendly neighbor he comes into possession of a potion that makes him invisible. In fact, why am I even bothering to summarize? Nobody should read a synopsis for "De Zeemeerman", let alone consider watching it.
Several famous and successful Dutch actors got tricked into starring in this film, like Huub Stapel, Peter Faber, and Serge-Henri Valcke. I bet none of them like to be reminded about this low point in their careers. For about half an hour, or so, the silliness is still funny and charming to behold, but then the whole thing becomes simply unwatchable. Awful acting by the lead performers, lame jokes, pathetic plot twists, annoying music, and a running time that outstays its welcome; - that's "De Zeemeerman". Special thanks (or not) to the horror & cult film-magazine "Schokkend Nieuws" for bringing this turkey to my attention again. I hadn't thought about it since I held the VHS-box in my hands in my local video store in the late 90s. Even then, I was smart enough not to rent it.
Russian Roulette (1975)
Don't play deadly games with the KGB!
I'd be lying if I claimed I fully understood every tiny little detail of the conspiracy plot in "Russian Roulette", let alone being able to properly write an accurate summary. But the plot isn't the most important element in a conspiracy thriller, at least not according to me. What I like most in flicks about complex conspiracies is high-adrenalin action sequences at regular intervals, a few unexpected twists, a cool cast, and maybe an interesting setting and/or political background.
"Russian Roulette" has all those things. George Segal is surprisingly good as a suspended Canadian Mountie agent who nevertheless receives a special assignment. Soviet prime minister Kosygin is visiting Vancouver, and Shaver (Segal) is instructed to take a man into custody who's named Henke and who's believed to disrupt the official ceremony. But Henke - who only needs one sequence to demonstrate he's a real jerk - gets kidnapped by someone else before Shaver can get to him, and our skeptical Mountie is sucked into a dangerous cat-and-mouse game with the KGB.
Well-directed by Lou Lombardo, usually an editor for eminent directors like Robert Altman and Sam Peckinpah, and featuring several impressive action sequences during the middle as well as a nail-biting finale. Segal and Cristina Raines are excellent together, and there are lovely supportive roles for Denholm Elliott and Louise Fletcher (the latter in a modest role despite the same release year as "One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest")
Salinma (1965)
I share your confusion and ignorance, Bro!
I felt very closely connected to the male character who depicts the husband/son/brother-in-law in "A Devilish Murder". Not because he's heroic or good-looking, but simply because throughout the entire film he walked around with a confused and borderline stupid look on his face, as if he didn't have the slightest clue of what was going on. I feel your pain, bro... I also didn't understand one iota of what was happening (and didn't care much, neither)
So, this man finds a painted portrait of a woman that looks exactly like his deceased wife. The cursed portrait somehow inflicts a massive flashback to happen, during which it becomes clear that the man's fiendish mother (who actually looks younger than he does) and his sister-in-law plotted a barbaric scheme. With the help of the local doctor, who sleeps with the mother, they falsely accused the man's poor wife of adultery and handed her over to a rapist/murderer (who nonetheless painted her portrait).
It's very well possible that half of the plot description is erroneous. If so, sorry for that, but in my defense: "A Devilish Murder" was unbearably tedious, unremarkable, and utterly confusing. Admittedly, there are a few atmospheric shots and a few shocks to enjoy towards the finale, but staying awake was a true ordeal. I keep hoping to stumble upon another Japanese masterpiece from the "Onibaba" era, but this one certainly wasn't it.
Blood of the Vampire (1958)
Bela Lugosi lives! And he needs blood for his eyebrows...
It may be true that "Blood of the Vampire" rapidly got produced to cash in on the tremendous success of Hammer Studios' horror hits "Curse of Frankenstein" and "Horror of Dracula", but this certainly doesn't mean it's an inferior or non-worthwhile piece of British Gothic horror. Quite the contrary, the script - written by expert Jimmy Sangster - contains numerous aspects and little gimmicks that every horror fanatic worships!
Here we go: a megalomaniacal mad scientist, a deformed hunchback (with asymmetric eyes), Transylvanian mountains, an insane asylum, a torture dungeon full of chained random women, vicious Dobermans with spikes on their collars, corrupt prison guards, clandestine blood transfusion, laboratories full of bubbly fluids, sinister graveyards, executions, and resurrections! In fact, the only thing this movie doesn't feature is an actual vampire. Go figure.
Donald Wolfit is terrific as the loathsome and purely evil scientist - and dead ringer for the one and only Bela Lugosi - who, following a resurrection from the dead and a semi-successful heart transplant, is bound to receiving constant blood transfusions. He found the perfect solution to accommodate his needs, though, as the wicked owner of insane asylum where patients "mysteriously" die on a regular basis. It takes a while before you know towards where the story is heading and some aspects never make sense, but it's a compelling and devilishly Grand Guignol fun-ride. The lovely Mrs. Barbara Shelley is always splendid, and Victor Maddern deserves tons of respect for the heavy facial make-up he's wearing, but the most impressively astounding performance is given by Donald Wolfit's eyebrows. I'd hate to get lost in those forests...
Injû no yado (1973)
Swedish sins meet Japanese perversion. But don't worry, the naughty bits are blurred!
After 20 years of IMDb-reviewing and more than 5.000 essays submitted, of which several hundreds of them are for obscure and practically unknown titles, I daresay I'm reviewing today what is probably the rarest film of my entire "career". And I owe it all to a modest but magnificent cult/horror festival, named Off-Screen, organized in my beloved country and their collaboration with a Swedish cinema expert/documentary maker named Rickard Gramfors.
The background info and trivia-elements that I'll be sharing in this review were told to me - and the rest of a small audience - during the introduction of "The House of Beasts" by guest of honor Rickard Gramfors at the festival. Everything I know of this utterly obscure film, I know thanks to Mr. Gramfors, so I want to thank him and dedicate this user-comment to him.
Mr. Gramfors said, for instance, the Off-Screen festival programming was the first screening of the film outside of Japan...ever! "House of the Beasts" hasn't been shown anywhere else for fifty years. Not even in Sweden, where it was filmed by a Japanese crew. That's the reason why you, me, or anyone has ever heard of it. It's insane. He also explained the "reason of existence" of this film and a handful of other titles, and that story is even more insane! Apparently, soft-erotic movies from Sweden were so incredibly popular in Japan during the early 1970s that the demand was bigger than the offer. So much bigger even, that Japanese studios sent crews and financial means to Sweden to make the films there and bring them back to Japan.
What really boggles my mind is the contrast between perversion and prudishness. This film features all imaginable taboos and offensive themes (adultery, rape, incest, provoked rape, homosexuality, ...) but whenever there's the slightest bit of sexual content on display, the screen gets blurred.
The plot itself can best be described as a home-invasion thriller, probably inspired by "Last House on the Left" or Sweden's own "The Virgin Spring", but without the revenge elements. After robbing a gun store in Stockholm, three fugitive criminals strand in the middle of nowhere and seek shelter in the only house in a rural area. Unknowingly, they end up in Sweden's most dysfunctional and sexually deviant household. The father sleeps with the maid, the mother sleeps with her stepson, the stepson with the maid again, etc. One of the criminals joyously has sex - both with permission and without - with all the women in the house, another one falls madly in love with the daughter, and the leader of the pack only craves homosexual attention. It's a big mess, but a lot of fun. The dialogues are insane, the filming locations and music are excellent, and in the final act of the film there's quite a lot of violence.
"House of the Beasts" primarily revolves around softcore sex, and thus there is plenty of nudity provided by the unearthly beautiful (and prototypically Swedish) actresses Britten Larsson, Inger Sundh and Tina Möller. The father, Per-Axel Arosenius from "Thriller - En Grym Film", bears a lot of physical resemblance to director Werner Herzog, while the leading thug - Lennart Norbäck - is a dead ringer for the famous Norwegian actor Kristoffer Joner. "House of the Beasts" obviously isn't a great film, but it's never boring and contains a handful of memorable highlights. And, due to its obscurity, it's the biggest cult-discovery in years for me.
A... come assassino (1966)
An oldie Giallo, and a talky Giallo... But also, a goody Giallo!
"Oh my God, dad, that looks so old... You're not going to watch that, are you?" Quote my 14-year-old son when I cozily sat down to see "A ...Come Assassino". And I can't really blame him because the film truly does looks ancient. With its release year being 1966, the movie is old - of course - even for a Giallo since the genre had its heydays between 1971 and 1975. But the film also looks and feels older than it is. Mario Bava's pioneer Gialli-titles ("The Girl Who Knew Too Much" and "Blood and Black Lace") are older, with their respective release years being 1963 and 1964, but they are more modern and fresher looking than "A ... Come Assassino" which feels like a film from the 1930s or early 1940s.
That said, however, I'm glad to have seen this prototype-giallo oldie! It's fascinating to witness how veteran writer Ernesto Gastaldi explores and ventures into new territories. "A ...Come Assassino" feels like a transition. The setting and premise still feel like gothic horror, what with the gloomy castle setting and a greedy family gathering for the reading of the will of a malignant patriarch. But the era isn't Victorian, there aren't any secret vaults or squeakily opening tombs, no old knights in armor suits that move on their own, or people who are spied on from behind paintings. Instead, we have Giallo trademarks carefully making their entrance, like black gloved killers using knives, adultery, treason, and murder conspiracies. Police inspectors patiently waiting for the murders to solve themselves, unexpected story twists, and beautiful lewd women dying sadistically. Style and photography wise, director Angelo Dorigo can't hold a candle to contemporary prodigies like Mario Bava or Riccardo Freda, but it's a modest little landmark anyway.
Plague (1979)
The Swiss-Cheese model.
In my actual job (unfortunately, writing user-comments here on IMDb isn't my job), yours truly is active in the safety & prevention department of large multinational. Most of my job exists of investigating incidents, determining root causes and develop learnings. Why this piece of seemingly irrelevant and personal information? Well, solely to be able to claim that the events unfolding in "Plague" follow a certain pattern that is very typical for harsh and large-scaled incidents. And, even though fictional and seemingly far-fetched and surreal, the plot is reasonable accurate not as outdated as you might think...
Everybody is familiar with the principle of "Murphy's Law", right? Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Within the fine profession of incident investigation, there exists a similar theory called the "Swiss Cheese Model". Explained as simply as possible: each process or mechanism has a series of protective barriers and built-in preventive measures to ensure that, in the event or a calamity, serious or even disastrous consequences are avoided. But, as in Murphy's Law, you'll always see that these barriers can and will fail when you need them most. And, to make matters worse, multiple barriers will fail at the same time and the hazard will always find a way through the mazes of the net. To visualize it: the hazard always finds a new hole in the Swiss cheese through which it can pass.
Why is this relevant in the context of a review for a cheap & cheesy late-70s horror flick like "Plague"? Well, to illustrate the plot of the film is not that exaggeratedly far-fetched. Unlikely things happen and usually solid barriers do fail. The ventilation pipes of air-conditioning systems will inexplicably blow in the opposite direction. Carriers of a virus will sadly be the ones to escape from quarantine. People that usually wear hygienic gloves to prepare sandwiches will exceptionally not wear them on the fatal day the should, etc. It's the painful truth of Murphy's Law or the Swiss-Cheese model. In many reviews, even by acclaimed critics, I noticed these plot elements being referred to as dire clichés, but they are truthful.
There are two eras to look at film titles like "Plague", or at better and more known movies of the same type, like "The China Syndrome" or "Outbreak". There's pre-Covid and post-Covid. Nobody really believed scenarios like these were realistic in pre-Covid times, but we're not so sure anymore now. Even in this low-budgeted and practically forgotten 1979 flick, there are sequences where newscasters spread messages like "stay inside your house" and "avoid contact with other people as much as possible". Those warnings have an entirely different impact now, after the year 2020, than they had in 1979.
Even purely talking in terms of entertainment and horror/cult value. I enjoyed "Plague". True, it's extremely slow-paced and overly talkative, but writer/director Ed Hunt manages to maintain an uncomfortable atmosphere of fear and tension throughout. The footage of dying school children, violent riots between militaries and ordinary petrified people trying to leave the city to save themselves, or infected scientists locking themselves inside their laboratories to prevent further spreading of a virus are unsettling. The fairly unknown (to me, at least) cast members give believable performances and the minimal use of music and noises (like chiming bells) are effective. On a more personal note, I'm also a follower of the curious director Ed Hunt. He made one of my favorite early 80 horror flicks, with the uniquely original and creepy "Bloody Birthday", but also two of the worst - but nevertheless amusing - Sci-Fi/horror flicks with "Starship Invasions" and "The Brain". In terms of quality and amusement value "Plague" neatly ranks in the middle of his oeuvre.
La gatta in calore (1972)
All work and no adultery make Anna a dull kitty...
There exist, generally speaking, two types of Gialli. The type with the black-gloved serial killer butchering scantily clad fashion models or lewd women, and the type revolving around a bickering and adulterous couples conspiring to murder each other. The classics of the genre are to be found in the first category, while the other type contains a few hidden gems but no real masterpieces.
"La Gatta in Calore" resides in the second category (the adultery/conspiracy category), and despite a few intriguing elements and a compelling narrative structure, I can't refer to it as a hidden treasure, unfortunately. A workaholic man (Silvano Tranquilo - "The Bloodstained Butterfly") neglects his beautiful young wife to the point that he even falls asleep on their one and only romantic night before another business trip. When he returns home again, he finds the dead body of an attractive young man in their garden, and his wife Anna at the kitchen table with a gun in front of her. What has happened here and isn't the husband partially to blame?
The main reason why "La Gatta in Calore" kept my attention is because the story is largely told in flashback-format, and because Eva Czemerys is an attractive and sexy lady! The erotic games she plays with her lover are quite enticing, and there's also a very interesting sequence that explains the peculiar title (Cat in Heat). The pacing is incredibly slow, though, and there nearly isn't enough action. The climax is beyond ridiculous.
Haunted Mansion (2023)
From Disney, with goosebumps...
Walt Disney Productions and child friendly (NOT childish) horror movies were a successful combo many decades ago. I even daresay it's largely thanks to Disney that I'm such a massive fan of horror, cult, and overall weird cinematic stuff. The first movies that triggered my interest in the genre were Disney movies, like the unforgettable "The Watcher in the Woods", "The Island at the Top of the World", "Something Wicked this way comes", "Escape to Witch Mountain", or "Return to Oz".
Disney hasn't released any films like that in the past two or three decades, or at least not as frequently. I deliberately skipped the Eddie Murphy version of "Haunted Mansion" because I wasn't part of any target audience in 2003, but I wanted to see this 2023 version mostly because I have children of my own now that are developing an interest in horror like mine. So proud! Thus far, I only watched "Goosebumps" or "Jumanji" with my 8 and 11 year old kids, so I'm happy to Disney-horror again.
Bearing in mind "Haunted Mansion" is a long-feature film based on a theme park attraction, it really isn't so bad! The plot isn't highly original or entirely without defaults (and the setting isn't as unique as "Pirates of the Caribbean") but it's an engaging enough ghost story with a few nice details and not too much sentimentality. The cool thing about the story of "Haunted Mansion" is that the spirits of the house don't want to scare away their human inhabitants but keep them inside. Even when the occupants make the wise and completely rational decision to leave the house, wherever they go, they are sent back by the spirits with such gloomy cries as "Go back, go back, ...". It takes a while before a whole team of local "experts" from New Orleans (a priest, professor, spiritual medium, and a kitschy tourist guide) realize there is one domineering and megalomaniacal spirit in command of the house, and that he must collect 1000 spirits to escape from the underworld again. Oh, and more bad news, he already has 999!
My family and I enjoyed the plot, occasionally also the humorous touches and the handful of suspenseful moments. The special effects, well... let's just say that my daughter was impressed, but that I'm too old to be astounded by digital computer tricks and will forever prefer good old-fashioned stop-motion or handywork. The greatest thing about "Haunted Mansion" is the cast. I have always loved Rosaria Dawson and thinks she's a great actress. LaKeith Stanfield is also very good and manages to bring a real emotional depth to his character. The supportive cast made me most happy, though. What a brilliant move to cast Danny DeVito as the cynical professor, and Jamie Lee Curtis is the charismatic spiritual medium stuck in her crystal ball. I also enjoyed Owen Wilson, whose natural "what's going on here" attitude nicely fitted his character.
Benedetta (2021)
Jesus Christ Superstar-savior of Sinful Nuns!
"Benedetta" is a Paul Verhoeven film. It's a line that basically says nothing at all, but - and especially if you're familiar with the full oeuvre of this peculiar director - says everything. It means that you don't know what you'll be getting, but simultaneously also that you'll be getting certain fixed themes & topics that are Verhoeven's hobbyhorses.
Let me clarify. Regardless of the setting, era, or premise, Paul Verhoeven ALWAYS harshly criticizes established values and "sacred cows". In "Robocop" it was the police force and the privatization of public institutions. In "Starship Troopers" it was the military and the subtle glorification of fascism, and in "Benedetta" it is the centuries' old hypocrisy of the Catholic Church. This man does not avoid any taboo and destroys every institution with influence and/or authority. You can also be sure that in every new film by Verhoeven a strong, over-emancipated, and practically unscrupulous woman takes the lead. Sharon Stone had the honor in "Basic Instinct," "Showgirls" featured exclusively strong women, and in "Benedetta," the breathtaking Virginie Efira plays a nun who doesn't answer to any known stereotype of a nun. It's all vintage Paul Verhoeven, but at the same time you get a film of which you can never predict what will happen within the next five minutes. That's also why he's one of my favorite directors of all time.
"Benedetta" certainly wasn't Verhoeven's easiest project, as he struggled with many production issues and delays. There was this little global pandemic we all suffered from, obviously, but the director also faced personal healthy issues and there was a painful conflict with the writer with whom Verhoeven collaborated for several decades already. All this, and a handful of defaults and shortcomings within the film itself, brings me to say "Benedetta" isn't the masterpiece I hoped for.
Nevertheless, though, it's a compelling and often astounding period piece/drama with some unforgettable moments. Benedetta's dreams/visions in which she's the mistress of a furiously enraged Jesus Christ, as well the blood-soaked stigmata moments, are pure exploitation madness. The performances are stupendous. Efira is magnificent, but so are Charlotte Rampling, Daphné Patakia, and Lambert Wilson. The locations and photography are stunning, the music is divine, and the eroticism/sex is, well, ...arousing!
The Satan Bug (1965)
World annihilation through boredom and disbelief.
"The Satan Bug" stood on my must-see list for ages, and this for two main reasons. For starters because it was directed by John Sturges, and I absolutely love - who doesn't? - "The Great Escape" and "The Magnificent Seven". Secondly, because paranoid and super-intelligent Sci-Fi from the sixties & early seventies is the best kind. Especially with also Alistair MacLean's name attached to it, I was convinced "The Satan Bug" would easily be as awesome as - say - "Seconds" or "The Andromeda Strain".
Alas, despite the genuinely petrifying premise (the theft of a deadly virus from a secretive governmental lab and the imminent threat of global annihilation), I found myself bored and uninterested throughout most of the running time. I read somewhere that "The Satan Bug" was the biological warfare equivalent of "Dr. Strangelove" - released one year before - but Kubrick's film is a lot more intense and compelling; - and somehow also uniquely manages to present a terrifying concept in a comical fashion! Sturges remains a fantastic director, obviously, but an atmosphere-driven Sci-Fi thriller is too far away from his comfort zone.
There are a handful of impressive and memorable moments, for sure. Notably the helicopter shots of the wiped-out Florida Keys are disturbing, but these were the only moments during which the madness and menace felt genuinely real. The lead characters, both the good guys and the bad guys, are unconvincing and lack charisma. There are too many senseless moments, like people stepping out of helicopters or supposedly skilled FBI-agents stupidly crashing their car or making dumb moves. Also, my "suspension of disbelief" abilities is quite flexible, but the twist where security guard Lee Barrett has a sudden epiphany regarding the whereabouts of the stolen viruses is utterly implausible.
Deadly Dreams (1988)
Love the mask, Mr... Norman Perkins?
Every remotely experienced horror fanatic becomes skeptical when the words "dreams" or "nightmare" feature in the title of a cheap & obscure late-80s slasher. Back then, every aspiring director wanted to cash in on the success of Wes Craven's "A Nightmare on Elm Street" and do 'something' with dreams/nightmares.
Kristine Peterson's "Deadly Dream" seemingly fits this description, but it honestly deserves a bit more praise and credit. This certainly isn't a hidden treasure or an undiscovered gem, but it does have a couple of worthwhile moments. The opening sequence, for instance, is quite heave and depicts the brutal murder or a mother and father - on Christmas day - by a hunter with a vicious animal skin mask, who goes by the name of Norman Perkins.
Norman Perkins! Get it? I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of another character named Anthony Bates, but he never showed up. Anyway, the murders are bloody and brutal, and little Alex who witnessed the massacre of mom and dad still struggles with mental issues more than a decade later. Alex has dreams and visions of Norman Perkins stalking him with his eerie mask. Then, inevitable, follows the clichéd and derivative middle section. Is Perkins really chasing Alex, or is he only dreaming it? Or maybe he's being pranked by his idiot best friend or driven loco by someone else entirely?
The middle section is quite dull, but the overall running time is luckily quite short, and there are still noteworthy moments, like the gratuitous nudity provided by Juliette Cummings and the many appearances of that really cool skin-mask! The climax also still holds a few neat (albeit predictable) twists in store. Overall, worth your time if you're an 80s horror fanatic.
Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (1979)
The disastrous hangover of last night's New Year party
In 1979, no less than seven years after the original, director/producer Irwin Allen thought it would be a good idea to manufacture a sequel to the almighty "The Poseidon Adventure"! Not a sequel that deals with a different ship or another tidal wave, mind you, but a sequel that supposedly takes place only a mere 5-6 hours after the rescue of a handful of survivors by the coast guard. So, in fact, there isn't any disaster happening in this "disaster movie". The ship is already upside down and, apart from during the opening moments, the sea is calm and peaceful.
Sounds like a silly and pointless idea, doesn't it? Well, it is, but Irwin Allen had more than enough money to spend, and he probably wanted to live up to his nickname "The Master of Disaster".
The plot, in short, revolves about two greedy salvage crews (one led by Michael Caine and the other by Telly Savalas) rushing to the upside-down cruise ship to steal all its valuable treasures. Things don't go as hoped, however, because survivors of the previous night's disaster keep turning up left and right! The coast guard did a lousy job, in fact, because there are more survivors still roaming around the halls of the ship now than were rescued the night before! Once the group is finally complete, "Beyond the Poseidon Adventure" is basically just a rerunning of the original, with reluctant heroes, and passengers that are either petrified or cowardly, battling against rising water levels and fires. The script is weak and unoriginal, with all the potentially intriguing sub plots going nowhere quite fast (like the malicious persona of Stefan Svevo and his mysterious relationship with the lovely Suzanne).
Irwin Allen spent ginormous amounts of money - I reckon - to ensure his film featured an all-star ensemble cast. The list of names is very impressive, with stars at the peak of their popularity (Michael Caine, Sally Field, Shirley Jones) and a bunch of always reliable veterans (Telly Savalas, Karl Malden, Slim Pickens, Peter Boyle, ...). Of course, it's easy afterwards to claim they didn't like the film and only accepted the role for the money (like Caine and Field did), but I find that weak and pitiable. The film flopped because, most likely, audiences were tired of bombastic disaster movies.
Date with a Kidnapper (1976)
Oh, so that's how dating worked before Tinder?
My oh my, what a terrible movie. I've rarely seen a film that starts out so promisingly and engaging but then collapses into a boring dud so darn fast! The first ten-fifteen minutes are really strong and full of excitement. A small-time thug, a loner but nevertheless reasonably clever bloke, kidnaps the young and redhead daughter of a rich man and demands a ransom. On the first night of his plan, he seeks refugee in a sleazy and practically abandoned hotel to hide out with the girl, but they are assaulted and raped by the pervert hotel owner and his drooling bellhop. This traumatic experience somehow creates an emotional bond between kidnapper and victim, a kind of messed up Stockholm Syndrome - if you will. Sadly, it also means the abrupt ending of a potentially fantastic exploitation film. From here onwards, "Date with a Kidnapper" is indescribably tedious (despite the short running time) and thoroughly unremarkable.
Many of my fellow exploitation fanatics/friends around here seemingly had a good time with Frederick R. Friedel zero-budgeted effort, and I'm happy for them, but unfortunately, I cannot concur. Friedel's other twisted flick entitled "Axe" (aka "Lisa, Lisa"), on the other hand, I found sardonically entertaining.
One noteworthy aspect about "Date with a Kidnapper" is the minuscule supportive role of Larry Drake (the really cool maniac from "Dr. Giggles" and "Darkman") as retirement home worker. Blink your eyes and you'll miss him, though.
Face/Off (1997)
90s favorites ain't what they used to be...
In 1997, at the cinema, I remember thinking this was the coolest and most awesome movie ever made... 16-year-old me thought the plot was phenomenal, the excessive violence and grotesque stunts were amazing, and the hostile chemistry between two of the contemporary most popular action heroes was exhilarating.
Almost 30 years later, and although still regarded as a genuine 90s classic, I have very mixed feelings towards "Face/Off". The only thing I still truly enjoyed were the performances of Nicolas Cage and John Travolta, but it might actually be more related to the fact that both men have made a full-time career out of starring in trashy R-rated popcorn action movies nowadays. "Face/Off" is considered a highlight in both their careers, but apart from the higher budget and acclaimed director, there isn't much difference with titles like "I Am Wrath", "The Fanatic" (both Travolta), "Primal" or "A Score to Settle" (both Nic Cage).
The plot I once thought was awesome doesn't make a lick of sense, really. If set in a dystopian future, like originally intended, it would be more acceptable. Facial transplants in the 1990s, however, are downright absurd. Luckily this film was blessed with the leadership of visionary director John Woo, who was a) intelligent enough to leave out all the surgical improbabilities and continuity lapses, b) experienced enough to overcompensate the massive plot holes with explosive action footage, and c) rational enough to never allow the story aspects to dominate over the fun parts.
Repeating myself, the most entertaining quality of "Face/Off" was - and still is - the sight of Hollywood's two most flamboyant, eccentric, and unscrupulous actors playing each other. Seeing John Travolta as Nicolas Cage, and vice versa, almost makes this film a parody. An extremely violent & stylishly directed parody, but a parody, nevertheless.
Murder by Natural Causes (1979)
The Unusual Suspects... Great TV-thriller.
It happens occasionally that I stumble upon the IMDb pages of made-for-television movies, usually from the 1970s, with incredibly high ratings and almost exclusively praising user-comments. I'm intrigued by those titles and promptly seek them out to watch next. Not necessarily because I'm convinced they truly will be great, but to try and capture the experience & emotions of all my fellow reviewers. For you see, most of the hyper-positive ratings and reviews are based on fond memories. Fans who watched the films on television, often just once and at a very young age. The films haven't been shown anywhere since and never got released on DVD, but they made an everlasting impression.
Please, do believe me when I state that I DO NOT consider those ratings and reviews invaluable or overly subjective. Quite the contrary, I'm often jealous that I was born in the wrong decade and truly wish to have been able to experience the glorious era of genuinely intelligent and qualitative movies for free on cable television! And - just to be clear - many of these TV-movies are REALLY good, like my most recent discoveries "One of my Wives is Missing" and this "Murder by Natural Causes".
The sadly forgotten gem "Murder by Natural Causes" is a tour-de-force collaboration of excellent writing (courtesy of the team behind "Columbo") and even better acting. What starts as a simple story about adultery and a banal conspiracy to murder an unsuspecting husband unfolds into a convoluted thriller with surprising twists and sardonic characters. Revealing anything about the plot would be a shame, but I guarantee you'll be glued to the screen and guessing. The unearthly beautiful Katharine Ross plays a role that is quite out of her comfort zone, but I've never seen her so sexy. Hal Holbrook, who's always been underrated in my opinion, is fantastic as the charismatic showman with a niftily constructed mind-reading act.
Witness for the Prosecution (1982)
Your Lordship, I would like to question the reliability of the Monocle Method!
This is a TV-remake, and a truly magnificent one I should add, of the awesome 1957 film directed and written-for-the-screen by Billy Wilder. "Witness for the Prosecution" is arguably the greatest courtroom story ever told, or at least on par with only a selected few other landmarks (like "12 Angry Men" or "To Kill a Mockingbird"), but it was originally created as a stay play by the most brilliant writer who ever lived - and that is inarguable, as far as I'm concerned - Agatha Christie.
Luckily, two adaptations later, the story still contains all the brilliant trademarks that are so typically Agatha Christie. Strong women, unreliable people all around, and a couple of unpredictable but beyond intelligent plot twists. It's the story of a stubborn and self-assured senior barrister who, despite his age and ailing health, accepts a seemingly impossible case to defend a charming young man accused of murdering an old spinster for the inheritance. The beautiful wife he adores can provide him with an alibi, but her testimony of a loving wife doesn't carry much weight. When the allegedly loving wife unforeseeably turns against her unsuspecting husband, she suddenly does become a very credible witness... although for the prosecution.
Compelling and full of surprises, even when you already know the story and remember how it ends, that's how I would describe "Witness for the Prosecution". The original landmark starred a few bona fide acting monuments, like Charles Laughton and Marlene Dietrich, but this prestigious TV-remake has an impressive cast as well. There's Ralph Richardson, Beau Bridges, Deborah Kerr, and two of my personal heroes as well, namely Donald Pleasance and Michael Gough. Once again, though, my main admiration goes out to the originally penned down plot by dame Agatha Christie. What a lesson in pure misleading! When you first experience "Witness for the Prosecution" it's simply impossible to predict what'll happen. When you think you have it figured out, you're being deceived, like Sir Wilfred gets deceived by his "monocle method".