emwire Reviews

Runaway Jury (2003)

Just what you would expect from anti 2a activists

[15 June 2022]

They will go to any length to take away your right to bear arms. And that's exactly what they demonstrate here.

That said, the movie did entertain me when it came out. It's just that I've grown older and wiser. Now I see how awful the message is and how it shows us the true face of the anti 2a activism.

The Gringo Papi (2022 TV Special)

Not as bad as people say...

[1/10 · 19 May 2022]

...just kidding. It's worse than anything you could imagine.

The arrogance he has, to actually put this out into the world. And not only that, but Bapi bought a billboard on Sunset to promote his 20 minute YouTube video.

What's his goal here? To go oh tour and do cawlmedy? For what purpose? Doesn't he already have way more money than he deserves? There's no money to be made and this is not his dream job to pursue. You can't be this bad and at this age, at something you truly want to pursue as a career.

Coherence (2013)

Hateable San Francisco libs with no kids make bad decisions.

[2/10 · 7 March 2022]

Ok, great premise etc. Been said over and over in other reviews. But, please note, this script is not an original idea. They took an episode from The Twilight Zone from the 50's and remade it. (I have not seen that episode.)

So, 8 people in their 40s get together. Where are their kids? Not once do they mention any kids. Even for San Francisco liberals, that is a stretch. You can't have 4 couples in their 40s at a dinner without one mention of their kids. And the idea that none of them have kids would be kind of absurd. If this is a big night with a comet event etc. Wouldn't they worry for their kids? Especially after the weird multiple reality circus starts. Did they all get babysitters? Ok, but not once worrying about not being able to check in?

The nap thing is also so ridiculous. Who invites people over for dinner and then goes to take a nap? Even for this self absorbed dumb gang, that would be questioned.

Also, the fact that they look outside and see people who literally walk up to their door and leave a note, but they can't see who it is? Give me a break. Also, regarding the note. WHO would walk up to a random house and leave a note asking to use their phone and then LEAVE?! Makes zero sense. The writing is so incredibly bad and lazy.

Then I just have to bring up the fact that the characters are so incredibly hateable. The yapping of the women especially and the horrific decision making throughout the movie is absolutely mind numbing. Suspension of disbelief is one thing. But you'd have to be extra dumb to behave like this, in such a absurd situation of multiple realities crossing.

When the dumbbell Mike talks about having been the main character on a tv-show for years, that Laurie had been watching and "loved it" but didn't recognize him even after the fact that he told her, is the dumbest thing I have ever witnessed in a movie. It's beyond stupid. Even if that was improvised... why leave it in? It's such a horrible scene.

Anyway, to sum up: This movie is just lazily written and even though the acting isn't that bad, it can't make up for the horrible script.

From (2022– )

Horrendous acting.

[1/10 · 23 February 2022]

The acting is atrocious. Harold Perrineau can't carry this by himself. The rest of the cast is just too awful. Especially the little kid.

The premise of the show and how they handle "newcomers" is also a major issue. Zero logic. Half of the town's rednecks have the "That ain't our people!" attitude and the other half have the "We need to tie them up and be nice to them and give them a drink".

This is the worst thing I've seen in a long while.

I guess the high ratings are coming from people just starved for any type of horror series. I'm starved for it too, but not this desperate.

The Trip (2021)

Great movie. André Eriksen stole the show!

[10/10 · 23 October 2021]

This movie is well written. Has some real hardcore violence, but also a lot of humor.

There are a lot of seasonal veterans from the big screen in this one, but someone with a shorter list of merits, who completely steals the show here, is André Eriksen, portraying the character Roy. Hilarious, witty in a dumb way and menacing. Plays the part so well.

Usually these sort of movies fall flat halfway through after a promising start with an exciting plot line. This one did the complete opposite.

South of Heaven (2021)

Wow. Someone's agent is fired.

[1/10 · 10 October 2021]

Jason Sudeikis AND Shea Whigham. What could go wrong?

Well, turns out... everything.

This is a b-movie that would have been a straight to VHS by the old standards.

Really can't believe how they actually said yes to this after reading the script. Think some agent might actually get fired over this dumpster fire.

Also... genre includes "Horror". WHAT?

Old (2021)

Luckiest man alive?

[1/10 · 16 September 2021]

This dude got lucky with 6th Sense and some lunatics in Hollywood has been throwing cash at him for over 2 decades to try to catch lightning in a bottle again. He has the writing capabilities of a child. This is a script that could have been written by a 5th grader. The acting is god awful. Rainbow diversity cast with zero good actors. Absolutely atrocious movie.

Porsalin: The Worm Has Turned (2018) Season Unknown, Episode Unknown

From larva to aged worm.

[10/10 · 10 September 2018]

This is a perfect depiction of the sad fall from grace. A story of the dry drunk comic that led a huge following of fans during his prime and how he then sold out his friends one by one and lost the loyalty of his followers.

Hallettsville (2009)

Pink Lemonade

[1/10 · 15 March 2009]

They should've called it "Pink Lemonade", because I think that's what they used for fake blood. And they use it a lot. Furthermore, this movie has such a pathetic plot line that even one of the lead roles says in one scene, where they are huddled up around the campfire, that "it's one of the most retarded stories ever" and he is right. The average adult movie has got better story lines than this mess.

Also, the music selection for some scenes just makes you laugh. It's so bad, I don't know how to describe it.

Thru n' thru this is a really sad, pathetic, awful movie. Don't waste almost 2 hours of your life watching it. I wish I hadn't. Not even the legendary Gary Busey can save this flick from a rock bottom grade.